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Chapter 9

“I’M SO EXCITED we’re going to be roommates,” Ginni said, almost bouncing where she stood. It was like the girl had invisible springs attached to the balls of her feet. She laced her arm through mine as I looked blearily at the clock on the wall. She and Xona had let me sleep in while they went to morning classes but had come to get me for lunch. I felt like I could sleep another twelve hours. But my stomach grumbled, and I was hungry enough that I could swallow down a whole bowlful of protein goop, maybe even two.

“And I know we’re going to be best friends, just like in the books I love to read. Come on, we’re already late for lunch!”

Xona looked down at Ginni and let out a heavy sigh. “Wish we could all have our own rooms,” she said under her breath.

As we neared the Caf, I heard the noise of voices filtering out into the hall. A loud bark of laughter made me blink in surprise. A place where people could laugh and talk without having to hide emotion. It was so foreign. And loud.

We turned in the next doorway and I looked down at my tight-fitting suit self-consciously. I’d gone through the wash-down chamber and changed into a fresh suit last night before bed, so at least I was clean.

Xona strode confidently into the room, scanning the crowd methodically. A quick headcount showed about thirty people already inside. I recognized Rand, City, and Juan sitting at the center table and the four ex-Regs sitting together in the back. Several of the other tables were crowded with adults wearing the gray Rez fighter uniform. The room was bigger than the Med Center, but all the tables and chairs were crammed tightly together to accommodate so many people at once. A long counter with kitchen implements ran along the far wall and, beside it, a cabinet with heat lamps and several steaming trays of food.

I looked back at the main table and felt my eyes widen when I realized who the girl sitting between City and Juan was. Molla. Her red hair was shorter and her face pudgier, but it was her.

“Oh look,” City said. “The plebe and the savior have finally made it to lunch.” Molla’s eyes narrowed when she looked up and saw me.

Xona walked over to City, her fists clenched. “Wanna call me that again to my face, Filicity?”

“The name’s City,” she said, eyes flashing annoyance for a brief moment before she smiled sweetly. “And your name is plebe. From the word plebeian. As in, not special. As in, should be scrubbing the floors for her betters, not eating breakfast with us.”

Xona didn’t say anything back, she just reared back her fist so quick I barely realized what was happening. But before she could connect with City’s jaw, Rand jumped up from where he was sitting by City and grabbed Xona’s arms.

“Ladies, ladies, not here. Save it for the training room floor.”

Juan had stood up as well, looking upset.

“No one calls me that and gets away with it.” Xona struggled angrily to get loose from Rand’s hold, but he was twice her size. “Let go of me.”

City leaned in closer. “As if you could do anything to me. I’d drop you at ten feet with the electricity from my little finger.”

“Only because you glitchers are cheaters. In a fair fight I’d—”

“I told you she had a prejudice against us,” City cut in, then looked at me, her eyes slits. “You should watch out, savior, sleeping in the same room as this one. She’ll try to slit your throat in your sleep.”

Xona glared, but remained silent.

“Ice it already, City.” Rand said, his arms still tight around Xona. Xona let out a growl and jabbed him hard in the ribs. In his moment of surprise, she dropped down and slipped out of his grasp, ready to spring into action.

“Come on, Molla,” City said, standing with a fake yawn. “Let’s get out of here before the boredom kills me.”

Molla stood up, and I barely managed to stop myself from gasping out loud. Her round stomach had been hidden under the table before. I hadn’t seen her in months, but now her stomach protruded and she struggled a little getting to her feet. She pushed past me, and I couldn’t help staring after her as she left. Max’s baby, growing inside her.

Out from under the V-chip control, I thought I’d learned all about emotion. But what had just happened was totally foreign to me, like I’d been dropped in on a game where I didn’t know any of the rules. I could barely make out one emotion on someone’s face before another had replaced it.

Xona grabbed her food quickly, then sat down at an empty table. Adrien came in behind me. I wanted to ask him more about what had gotten him so upset when we’d read together yesterday, but he was smiling and he leaned down and whispered in my ear, “I know you want the air-filtration system to be ready as soon as possible, but I gotta say, I’ll miss the suit.”

I blushed and smacked him in the shoulder.

“Just telling the truth.” His grin was infectious and I tried to forget about his dark mood yesterday. He seemed fine now. He directed me to the steaming trays of food and pointed out a small circular pot behind the others. The familiar creamy grayish concoction bubbled inside.

“Jilia says to keep eating the protein supplement until we can steal some rations from the Community circuit that we know will be allergen safe.”

“Yum.” I slopped a large spoonful of the goo into a hard plastic cup, looking over longingly as Adrien filled his plate with meat and steamed broccoli. I looked back down at the shapeless gruel filling my cup and sighed.

We joined Xona’s table, where Ginni was now chattering nonstop. Xona didn’t look like she was listening. She was too busy eyeing the ex-Regs in the back of the room.

Ginni brightened when she saw Adrien and me coming to sit. “Has Adrien told you about all your classes?”

“Not much.” I sat down and hooked up the straw to my face mask. I took several quick swallows, grimacing only slightly at the taste. “Just that the day will be split between training and school.”

“Well, really, there’s a lot more training than actual school,” Ginni said. “The General keeps saying she needs as many glitchers as soldiers as soon as possible. Everything’s been so bad lately, she can’t seem to replenish the ranks of normal Rez soldiers fast enough.”

I swallowed hard, the reality of the situation settling in. I’d always known it was a war, but it was becoming more and more real to me how many young glitchers and Rez fighters were losing their lives fighting against the Chancellor and the Community.

“How long have you all been here?” I asked. “Out of the Community, I mean.”

“I was living in one of the few aboveground cities when the Rez rescued me a year ago,” Ginni said. “City and Rand are from the south part of the Sector and caused such a commotion when their powers kicked in that I’m amazed we managed to rescue them before the Community or the Chancellor got to them first. We all stayed in Rez camps till enough of the Foundation was finished a couple months ago, and then we moved in here to study and train.”

“So what classes do we have?” I asked.

“Well,” Ginni lit up again. I had a feeling nothing made her happier than being asked questions. “First is physical training with Xona’s brother. He’s so handsome.”

Xona finally turned her eyes away from the ex-Regs. “Ugh, you did not just say that. Besides, Tyryn’s twenty-two.”

“Well in four short months I’ll be seventeen.” Ginni leaned in. “And it’s not like there’s a lot of other options around here, you know?”

Xona rolled her eyes, then went back to watching the ex-Regs. At least she wasn’t being outright hostile toward us anymore. I had a feeling Ginni was partially responsible for that. You couldn’t be around the bubbly girl for too long and keep thinking that all glitchers were dangerous or inhuman.

“Anyway,” Ginni went on, “in his class we work out and have weapons and combat training. The next class in the morning is Humanities with Professor Henry.”

“That’s the class we’ve been reading stories for, right?” I looked at Adrien.

He nodded. “We read literature and study art and history.”

Xona scoffed. “I agree with the General. What use is art when you’re in a firefight?”

“It’s important,” Adrien said. “It reminds us what we’re fighting for—the ability to think and feel and create.”

Xona just stared at him. “We’re fighting to stay alive. Plain and simple.”

I looked down at the cup of goop on the table in front of me. I took another couple of slurps from the straw, then pulled back with a grimace. “Ugh, it’s even worse when it’s cooled off.”

“I can help.” I looked up to see Rand standing over me, Juan by his side.

Before I could respond, Rand put his hand on the outside of my cup and the protein concoction bubbled. But then the whole cup started to melt and become misshapen.

“Crackin’ hell, Rand” Adrien jumped and pushed the cup away from me with a napkin. “Be careful. You’re gonna burn her.”

Rand removed his finger. “Oops,” he said. He flashed a grin at Ginni and me and sat down. “Hard to turn it down sometimes. Can’t contain the Rand, after all.”

Ginni smiled and tossed a napkin at his face.

“So wait, your power,” I asked, watching with fascination as the bubbling finally stopped, “it doesn’t work only with metal?”

Rand leaned in and smiled conspiratorially. “I can heat up just about anything.”

Ginni giggled. Xona rolled her eyes.

“Let’s not forget the incident where you melted the central truss in the west tunnel and trapped us for three hours until they dug us out,” Adrien said.

“Aw, man, why you gotta bring that up?”

“That’s why we have glitcher training every afternoon,” Ginni said. “To help us learn to control our powers. And speaking of,” she nodded to the clock on the wall. “We gotta go.” She ate a few more quick bites and then stood up with her tray. I’d gotten enough of the protein mix down before Rand melted the cup that I was full, too.

“Who teaches it?” I asked, standing up.

“Now that Jilia’s here, she and my mom take turns teaching,” Adrien said. “But I think it’s Jilia today.”

Ginni clapped her hands together. “Oh good, I’ve missed training with Jilia! She used to train us when we were at the camps before the Foundation was finished.”

“Aww,” Rand said mournfully, “I thought I was done with that meditation junk for good.”

We headed down the hallway past the Med Center to a small room. Cushions were set up in a circle on the ground. I looked around in confusion.

“Where are the desks and chairs?” I whispered to Adrien.

He laughed. “That’s not Jilia’s style. We sit on the ground. You’ll see.”

Adrien settled on a pillow and gestured for me to do the same. Molla came in a few minutes later and sat beside City. Ginni, who sat on the other side of me, leaned in and whispered, “Molla’s not on any task force because of the baby. But Jilia said it’d be good for her to still come and meditate with us when she can.”

I stared at Ginni. She seemed to know everything about everyone. It made me wonder what she told others about me.

Finally, Jilia came in. After everyone had settled in, she began.

“My job is to help train you in the study of your own minds, so you can control your powers when it counts.” Jilia walked around the circle. “Studying the mind is the key to controlling anger, joy, all your emotions. The same parts of the brain are linked to glitcher Gifts, so controlling and understanding your emotions will help you do the same with your Gifts.”

My back straightened at her words. This was what I was here for. Maybe I’d finally be able to get my powers under control.

“We’ll begin with twenty minutes of silent meditation when I ring the bell,” she said. She held up a small bronze bell. “Try to empty your mind and let all your worries and hopes and fears drift away. A wise man called Dogen once said that to study meditation is to study the self. To study the self is to forget the self. And to forget the self is to be connected to all things.”

“Aw, Doc,” Rand complained, his long muscled legs folded awkwardly on the cushion. “Can’t we skip to the fun stuff? Like melting that bell and making it into something useful?”

“I’ve missed you too, Rand,” Jilia said with a smile. “Your complaints, as always, are noted. I’ll sound the bell now. Juan, will you begin playing as well?”

I looked up in surprise to see that Juan was sitting on a chair in the corner of the room holding a strange contraption that rested on the ground with a long stringed neck. One of Juan’s hands hovered over the strings, and the other held a long slim stick with a ribbon strung along its length.

“Juan’s cello music will help us all relax and connect to our emotions. Empty your mind and try to be at one with the present.”

Doc positioned herself back on her own cushion and rang the bell. Almost simultaneously Juan put the ribboned stick to the strings, and the most aching sound moaned out.

My eyes widened. Music. I’d heard of it but had never actually heard it. When I was still a drone in the Community, they used to play long tones over the Link during Scheduled Subject Downtime, but it was nothing like this. After a few moments of listening, entranced, the beauty of the sound made my chest expand outward.

The buzzing in my mind seemed to vibrate in response to the rising notes of the instrument. It was both scary and exhilarating to feel the power build so quickly. I knew Juan could affect moods with his music—maybe this was finally the key to gaining control.

My power responded. I felt the shape of the entire room and everyone in it inside my mind. Nine heartbeats, no, ten. A small fluttering one. The baby. I could feel Molla’s baby. My breath caught.

Then instead of one long weeping note after another, Juan put the ribbon to two strings at once in harmony. The music swept me up beyond the room where we were all sitting. I was disoriented by how quickly it expanded.

Suddenly I could feel everything, not just the shape of the room or the hallway outside. I zoomed outward like a lens readjusting. I could see the entire compound. The two main hallways of the Foundation ran like little tubes, with rooms between and branching out to the sides. I could feel the level below ours too, and the main elevator that led up to the air-transport deck. One second I could sense the complex components that made up the engine of the transport and smell the oiled metal, then the next moment I’d zoomed out again even farther this time.

It was going too fast. I was starting to feel dizzy. Quick as the moment it took for another breath in, I could feel the shape of the whole mountain above us, the canyon stretching out beside it, and the mountain range beyond.

And then I was hurtled into the sky.

Panic spiked through me. I wasn’t in control. Not at all. I was being dragged outward helplessly into the endless sky. No shape, no contour. It just went on and on forever. The sky had always terrified me, and now I spun recklessly through it with no tether holding me to the earth. I couldn’t sense my own body anymore at all. I was going to get lost.

It was exhilarating and terrifying.

I had to pull it back, had to get control. The instrument hit a high, vibrating note that thrummed straight through me. I tried to hold on to the sound to pull myself back. I quivered with the note and tried to trace it back to the source, back to the center of the rippling vibration.

Suddenly the quiet music was ruptured and I was drawn back into my body so quickly it felt like I’d been ripped in two—part of myself still floating somewhere above in the sky, the other half sitting in a room under the mountain. I blinked hard. I was back in the room, and it was all of me, my mind as well as my body. But the same moment, the cello vibrated and burst into pieces in Juan’s hands. Everybody screamed and tried to shield themselves.

Juan’s beautiful instrument was gone, replaced by a cloud of dust that filled the air and filtered down like ash above our heads. Silently, all heads turned in my direction, their mouths forming the same perfect O.

“I’m so sorry!” I said, stumbling to my feet, still disoriented by being back inside my body. It felt too small, like my skin was on too tight.

Juan coughed a few times and wiped the dust out of his eyes. “I should have seen that coming,” he said. “I could feel the intensity coming off you in waves.”

“I’m so sorry,” I babbled again, tripping over my own words. I hurried over to his side. “It was just that the music was so beautiful and I lost control of my telek, I didn’t know where I was—”

“It’s okay, Zoe,” Juan said. He tried to smile, but I could see he was upset.

“Everyone’s fine,” Jilia announced. “Lights up,” she said and the lights slowly brightened around us. The dust that had been Juan’s cello covered the floor. A couple of people coughed.

“She ruined your cello!” Molla said, rising to her feet and speaking up for the first time since I’d come to the compound. “Just like she ruins everything else!” Her high-pitched voice echoed around the small space. “She’s dangerous. What if that—” she pointed at Juan’s ruined instrument, “had been one of us?” She put a hand on her stomach, took one more searing look at me, then stomped out of the room.

Rand let out a low whistle after she left. Everyone else was staring at me. Once again I felt the weight of all their expectations and, even more crushing, their disappointment. Adrien steadied my arm as I stood there.

“I’m sorry,” I said again, feeling that empty space at the bottom of my stomach widen. I’d thought today was a new start, that maybe I’d be able to finally get control. But Molla was right. Here I was again, ruining everything I touched.

“Well,” Rand broke the stunned silence, dusting himself off and cracking a grin. “At least we know if the Chancellor tries to kill us with stringed instruments, Zoe’s got us covered.”