I SPENT A WEEK in bed. Jilia had easily healed my fractured ankle, but pushing so hard with my telek had taken its toll on my body. I was absolutely depleted, without enough energy to lift my own head. Ginni helped me to the bathroom a few times a day and brought me food, but otherwise I remained in bed and stayed Linked.
I was afraid of the rush of emotions I knew would come as soon as I disconnected, even though I probably didn’t have enough power left in my body to be dangerous for a while. After a few days, when I finally did disconnect myself for a few hours, I was surprised that I felt almost as numb as when Linked. I was left alone to stare at the drawings on my wall and let Max’s accusing gaze stare back at me. I had sworn that if I ever got the opportunity, I wouldn’t fail to save the people I loved. No matter what.
But I had failed. We all had. Ginni said that after the General had been healed, she’d nearly torn up the Med Center in anger. I closed my eyes and I was back in the facility, feeling the blast buckle the ground beneath our feet, watching the ceiling caving in on us. I saw Max lying there tied up before the ceiling collapsed on top of him.
The hours were tortuous as I replayed the scenes in my head, thinking of all the ways I could have done things differently. But I didn’t let myself re-Link, except at bedtime. I deserved to feel the pain.
On the sixth day, Adrien pulled back the curtain and sat on the mattress beside me.
I turned my face away to hide it in my pillow. I knew I shouldn’t blame him for what happened. I knew his visions were only flickering images of a future he had never been able to change, but I couldn’t help it. He should have warned us what was coming. We could have tried to stop it.
He took my shoulders in his hands.
“Jilia says you should try to get up today.”
I closed my eyes.
He let go of me, shaking his head. “We did everything we could. I know you want to save everybody, but this is the way it is. It’s the way it has to be.”
Anger lit through me and I sat up. “How can you say that? Max wasn’t just anyone to me. He was my friend. I loved him, in my way.” I grabbed my head, feeling a bit dizzy from the sudden movement. “He only stayed with Bright because he couldn’t bear coming with me when we escaped the Community. I just always thought someday we’d have a chance to start over.”
“What you’re feeling is guilt,” Adrien said flatly. “Not love.”
I stared at him, openmouthed. “Why are you being like this?”
He leaned in, his face dark. “Because anger is what you need to be strong right now, not sadness. Anger will help you get out of this bed.”
His words surprised me, but then I realized I was sitting up for the first time in a week. And I wasn’t too tired. The buzzing thrum of my power was back, quieter and weaker than usual, but there.
“You’re right,” my voice was hard, “If I need anger, I have plenty of it. I’m furious with myself. And maybe it’s not fair, but I’m furious with you too.”
Adrien looked down. “Believe me. You couldn’t be any angrier with me than I am with myself. The whole thing was a trap. The Chancellor knew we were coming. And how else could she have known?”
I stared at him, not following.
“Because I told her.”
I let out a confused gasp, but he continued, “I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t getting any visions of this mission. It was so strange. Usually when something big like this happens, I’ll get long-term visions well beforehand. But I didn’t see anything about this mission, and I’ve realized why.”
He looked at me, anguish clear in his eyes. “It’s because I already had those visions, a long time ago. Before we escaped the Community, when the Chancellor used her compulsion on me. She made me tell her my visions and then made me forget. She must have known long ago that we would be coming on this raid. What kills me is that I must have foreseen her setting the trap for us. I gave her the blueprints for exactly what to do.” The words poured out of him in a rush. “The only reason we’re still alive is because the explosives in the second half of the building malfunctioned.”
He’d answered the question I’d screamed in rage at him during the raid. The question I could see had been giving him sleepless nights ever since.
He hadn’t known this would happen.
He hadn’t known, but he blamed himself all the same. And I’d pushed him away, reinforcing that blame. The look on his face bored a hole straight through my chest.
“I’m sorry,” I said. I was such an idiot. I took his face in my hands, then leaned in and put my forehead against his. “I’m so sorry. Of course it’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have accused you.”
I kissed his lips, but they were hard and unyielding. After a second he relaxed into me, but then he pulled away again just as quickly. “I’ve gotta go to training.” He paused before leaving. “Will you be in classes today? Even if you don’t feel up for training, you could at least come to lunch. Everyone would really like to see you.”
I swallowed hard, but nodded. He’d pulled away so quickly. I wasn’t sure he’d quite forgiven me yet. I’d assumed the worst of him and hadn’t even given him a chance to explain. I didn’t deserve his forgiveness. But he was right. I had to get out of bed. I had to keep moving forward somehow, in spite of all that had happened.
When I walked into the Caf, talk quieted and countless pairs of eyes watched me. Some of the Rez fighters immediately looked away again, their faces hard. Others, like the younger glitchers on the other task force watched me with wide eyes. Were they impressed with what they’d heard I’d done or disappointed that I didn’t do more? I was supposed to be able to save people, but four Rez fighters and one ex-Reg had died, not to mention the Chancellor’s glitchers. One of the Rez fighters put down his spoon as I passed by and outright glared at me. Okay, so disappointment it was.
I looked down and headed toward the serving line. My legs were a little stiff, but otherwise my body felt healed. I tried to forget the eyes following my every move. I piled the colorless goop into a bowl and went to the table, sitting between Adrien and Xona. Rand was gesturing wildly when I sat down.
“—and when the weapons dropped from the ceiling, bam, I unleashed the Rand on them before they could get a single round off.”
Xona sat across from him and rubbed her temple. “It’s been a week already. Is there any way we’ll stop hearing this story by next century?”
“Wait,” I said, “I actually want to hear it. I never heard everything that happened with your group.”
Rand grinned and settled back in his chair. “So we get into the open chamber at the end of the hall, and all of a sudden none of us can hear anything. That’s when I saw the weapons dropping.”
He lifted his hands up dramatically like he was reenacting the moment. “And a millisecond later, I’m on it. I’ve been working on melting stuff without touching it, but usually it’s just things within a few feet of me. These weapons were over ten feet high, but I knew if I didn’t take them out, we’d all die.”
City turned from the other table and looked at Rand. “Oh please. If you hadn’t been there I could have easily electrified them.”
Rand made a face and waved a hand dismissively. “I didn’t see you taking care of it.”
She stood and put her hands on her hips. “Probably because I was busy with the other attackers rushing in. Which I didn’t see you doing anything about.”
“How many were there?” I asked.
“Five came through the door at us.” City dropped down to sit beside Rand. “I don’t know if they were all glitchers, some of them had weapons. They got a couple of shots off before I dropped them. And they only managed that because there was this glitcher who could inflict pain.”
Rand nodded, looking almost solemn. “It was like a spike straight through my head. All of us were on the ground. I was screaming but couldn’t even hear my own voice ‘cause of the whole silence thing.”
“So what happened?”
City smiled and pointed her forefinger. “I fried him.”
“You killed him?” Ginni choked on the mouthful she’d taken.
“Of course I did. He was attacking us.”
“It’s too bad, though. The General was disappointed we didn’t capture him alive,” Rand said. “But we do have the orb girl. City’s electricity wasn’t anything against her.”
“I can’t believe they brought her back with us,” City said.
“You’re just bent out of shape because you couldn’t take her out,” Rand said.
“Well, maybe I’ll get another chance.” City glowered. “Either way, she’s not rooming with me, that’s for shuntin’ sure.”
“She’s here?” I asked, stunned. “She’s staying in the dorms?”
“Don’t look at me,” Rand said. “Adrien’s the one who had a vision that she needed to be saved.”
I looked over at Adrien. His eyes had widened.
“You told them your visions?” I felt a pang of hurt. After everything he’d said about it not being safe to share his visions—
“Nah, Taylor gave it away,” Rand said. “City was giving Taylor attitude about bringing the girl back, and Taylor’s all like,” Rand stiffened his back, imitating the General, “‘retrieving the girl was one of the mission objectives.’ City figured it out later.”
“Is that true?” I turned to Adrien. I knew he’d told some of his visions to Taylor, but I’d assumed that after the wounded Rez fighters had been brought back he’d stopped sharing them.
He shrugged, looking uncomfortable. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“So where is she now, anyway?” Rand asked casually. “I got a look at her in the Med Center when I was passing by, and she’s kinda cute.”
“Really?” City asked, her fists clenched. “You have to hit on every girl in the building, even our enemies?”
Rand grinned rudely at her.
Ginni piped up. “First of all, she has a name. Saminsa. She’s been staying in the Med Center. Doc kept her sedated so she wouldn’t attack again, and they’re explaining to her how the Chancellor’s evil and we’re the good guys.”
“And that worked?” I asked skeptically.
“It did once Doc convinced her that the only way the building could have blown like that was if it had been wired from the inside. The Chancellor was willing to blow up her own people just to get Zoe.”
“Me?”
“Yeah,” Ginni said. “The Chancellor told all of them to click their transmitter once someone saw you. They didn’t know, but it set off the device for the bombs.”
“That’s horrible,” I whispered. “The Chancellor had the girl bring the place down on top of herself. All because she was so desperate to kill me.” I pushed my bowl away, afraid I was gonna be sick. I suddenly felt I deserved all those accusing glares. I was a walking target, endangering everyone around me.
“Yeah,” Ginni said. “When Saminsa figured all that out, she stopped talking. Hasn’t said a word since. But she hasn’t tried to kill anyone, so that’s a good sign.”
City leaned forward. “A good sign? You didn’t see what she did. When she made the first orb, it cut Rez fighters in half like they were made of butter.”
I shuddered. I’d seen bodies on the floor, but I hadn’t looked too closely. If Eli and I had gotten any closer before Tyryn took her down, we would’ve been killed too.
“It wasn’t her fault,” I said. I seemed to be saying it a lot lately. But it was still true. All of us were pawns in this game.
“The Chancellor wasn’t around,” City said. “The girl wasn’t under any compulsion. She attacked us all on her own. And she could be biding her time before she does it again.”
“The Chancellor took her from the Community, from her home, and filled her head with lies,” I said. “As far as Saminsa knew, we were the enemy. Any one of us would have done the same thing in her position.”
Ginni seemed to understand. She rested her hand on top of mine. “I heard your friend was in the building when it went down. I’m sorry, that must have been hard.”
I swallowed. I wasn’t ready to talk about Max yet, but I attempted a smile to show her I appreciated her concern.
“Just keep the girl away from me is all I’m saying,” City said.
“She can room with us,” Xona said. “Anyone you’re that scared of I’m bound to like.”
“I’m not scared of her.” City exploded off her chair.
“Sure sounds like it.”
City’s face turned red with anger. “Says the plebe who wasn’t even allowed to go on the mission.”
Xona shot up out of her chair too. Ginni put a hand on her arm to calm her. Xona shrugged it off and glared at City for another moment. But then she sat down without another word. I was surprised. In the past, she wouldn’t have backed down until a punch was thrown. Then again, I’d noticed Xona’s attitude had improved a lot lately. I’d been afraid she would be angry or mistrustful of me again after that ridiculous test Sophia had set up, but Xona had just taken it in stride.
“What about the other glitchers? The ones we rescued?” I asked, trying to redirect the conversation.
“A girl and two boys,” Ginni said. “The girl’s a human lie detector. Awesome, right? And the boys are twins. They’re telepathic, but only with each other.”
“None of them are very useful to us,” City said. “We need glitchers with offensive talents. The General wasn’t too happy.”
“That’s not fair,” Ginni said. “Besides, they gave us some good intel on some of the other glitchers the Chancellor has, ones that were too valuable to leave behind in the building to get blown up. Apparently there’s this red-haired boy who can make you hallucinate and see things that aren’t there. He liked to terrorize the other kids. The twins got all shaky when they talked about him.” She shuddered. “It creeped me out just listening to it. I hate powers that can get inside your head.”
“The Chancellor’s getting more and more powerful,” Xona said, frowning. “She’ll keep stocking up on glitchers she can use against us.”
Xona’s words hung ominously for a long moment.
“What happens next?” I asked. “The General didn’t get whatever it was she was looking for.”
“I don’t think even the General knows what to do next right now,” Xona said, her voice subdued. “This past week alone, ten Rez cells were cracked. Double agents working for the Rez keep getting found out and imprisoned. It’s not safe anywhere except here.”
“I heard the floor below ours is flooded with Rez fighters who managed to escape the safe house raids,” Ginni said.
“Just soldiers?” I asked. “What about civilians and families?”
“The General doesn’t want to open up the Foundation to nonmilitary personnel. We’d go through rations too quickly. She worries about the visibility of every shipment of supplies coming in as it is. But I also heard she does have a plan,” Ginni leaned in and dropped her voice to a whisper. “Something big.”
“What?” I leaned in too.
“I don’t know the details,” Ginni said. “But I overheard her arguing with the Professor. She said something about how she was gonna change the world.”
“Change the world?” Adrien suddenly leaned in, his green eyes flashing.
“What does that mean?” I asked.
Ginni shrugged. “That’s just what she said. That if it was the last thing she did, she was going to change the world.”