Pygmy

Dispatch Thirty-second

Begins here thirty-second account of operative me, agent number 67, seated amid sleeping vault of host sister. This today, following daily instruction XXXXXX. High School. During host mother sojourn so interrogate confined host father at XXXXXX. Federal Building. During host brother engaged practice sport XXXXXX.

This today, no happy tiny tremble shiver house. No happiness missile craft shiver within liquid depths host mother basement. No battery shaking own innards. For official record, residence host family Cedar vacant but for stealth cat sister and this agent.

Current now, sister perch adjacent work surface, gripping solder iron. Conduct for explore dead corpse of killer science fair phallus. Scraping aside melted plastic, carbon black charred circuitry. Investigate possible reason catastrophic malfunction such phallus endangering all bystander. Curving sinew spiraling tail white smoke rise out tip solder iron, smoke drawing pattern in air.

Sister analyze possible why prized project rejected top award local science fair. Killer phallus autopsy.

Host sister drip and draw in melted lead, breathing snake tail of smoke. Say, “Well, Pygmy…” No look eye except upon postmortem phallus, say, “Maybe the whole world loves you, but I sure don’t.”

Ear of operative me, steady consume sister word, only no able decipher. This agent sit balanced edge on host sister bed, mattress pile with blanket, many animals of brown weave. Animal all smile. Brown animal clench string bound to floating bladder inflated helium.

Mouths of operative me, say, “Define?”

Silly animal.

Cat sister squint eye at heat, molten solder liquid lead atop work surface, say, “You messed with my project, didn’t you?”

In secret, inner voice operative me recite periodic table, say, Aluminum, antimony, angora…

Veiled within smoke, haloed and misted pale smoke of hot metal, sister face say, “You turned traitor on me.” Say, “When I trained you as a spy…” Wielding glowing hot wand, sister face say nothing. Silent. Nose vent metal smoke. Acrid. Mouth say, “And you sabotaged my science fair project.”

This agent within skull reciting, Argon, arsenic, Ann Arbor…

Next now, in breathe snaking white smoke, cat sister say nothing. No say anything. Await response.

“Imperative,” say this agent, aloud say, “Sister must no attend finals National Science Fair.” Say, “Imperiled there.” Say, “Much total dangerous.”

Face tilted within floating path, curve corkscrew white threads smoke, host sister say, “Why should I believe you now?” Say, “All you ever do is tell lies.”

Quote this agent glorious revolutionary, heroic figurehead Eugene Debs, say, ‘“Progress is born of agitation. It is agitation or stagnation.’”

Eye blink against white smoke, cat sister say, “Real smarts begin when you quit quoting other people…”

Thinking machine operative me recite, Zinc, zirconium, Zoloft…

This agent request source such profound statement.

“Who am I quoting?” say cat sister. Bunch shoulders at own ears, making shrugged, say, “I guess I’m quoting myself…”

Hand of this agent rise, all finger made straight as for pledge. Lips operative me say, “Team Cedar?”

Sister no make slap hands. Next then, host cat sister parry, thrust burning point of soldering iron, brandish so threaten contact this agent with sharpen fire-color tip. Burning heat. So menacing, host sister say, “Now get the fuck out of my room.”