Save Me

Chapter Twenty-nine

“Hi, sweetie.” Rose entered Melly’s bedroom, where she was reading in bed, with Princess Google. The butterfly lamp on the night table cast a warm glow over her yellow comforter, whitewashed bureau, and matching desk, but the rest of the room was a Harry Potter shrine. A black Hogwarts banner hung above the headboard, and the bookshelf contained the thick books, figurines, a Sorting Hat, and new Hermione wand. The lower shelves held B-list books, which was everything not Harry.

“Hi, Mom.” Melly peered over the top of Beedle the Bard. Her hair had been brushed out and lay wavy on the pillow.

“How was your night?” Rose sat down on the edge of her bed and gave her a kiss. “What did you and Julie do?”

“We watched Up.”

“Sounds good.” Rose had told the babysitter, DVDs only. “Did you like it?”

“Yes.” Melly placed her laminated bookmark carefully in the page, making sure the blue tassel showed, and closed the book.

“Good. Hi, Googs.” Rose scratched Princess Google, and the spaniel raised her small, flat head and tucked into a ball of red-and-white patches.

“Googie’s so cute.”

“She is. Did she eat any underwear?”

Melly smiled. “No, she was good, Mom. I let her out in the backyard. Two times.”

“How was John?”

“He pooped, and his face got all red.”

“Great. Just so he didn’t eat any underwear.”

Melly giggled. “You’re silly.”

“Thanks.”

“Was the funeral sad?”

“Yes. It’s hard when people pass.”

“Like Daddy.” Melly frowned, showing a tiny buckle in her smooth forehead.

“Right.” Rose felt a surge of love and worry, eyeing Melly, who looked so happy and comfy in Leo’s Phillies T-shirt. “We have to make a decision about whether you should go to school tomorrow.”

“Is it open?”

“Yes. The cafeteria isn’t open, but the classrooms are. I was just there to see it.”

“I know, I can smell.” Melly scrunched up her nose. “You smell like fire.”

“Gross.” Rose hadn’t realized. “Anyway, it’s a half-day tomorrow. They’re going to have an assembly in the morning, about the people who died, then go back to class, then you’ll come home.”

“Okay, I can go.”

“Do you feel well enough?”

“Yes.” Melly shrugged. “I’m not sick. The doctor said.”

“I know, but if you feel tired or you just want to rest another day, you can stay home.” Rose was stacking the deck, but she couldn’t help herself. She was worried about the reception that Melly would get tomorrow. “How’s your throat?”

“Okay. I can go. I’ll go.”

“Well, then let me say this. You know that Amanda was caught in the fire, and you should know that there are some people who blame me about that.”

“Why?”

Rose kept it simple. “They say I saved you instead of her.”

“I’m your kid.”

Rose smiled. “I know, but really, I got Amanda to the door of the cafeteria, and when I went to get you, she ran back into the cafeteria. I think, after her iPod.”

Melly blinked, and it seemed not to register that she’d been left for second. “I heard her talking about that iPod. It was her big brother’s. He got it for his birthday.”

“Anyway, the other kids might say things to you, about that. Try to ignore them, and don’t answer, okay? Like the reporters, in a way.”

“I’ll tell Ms. Canton. She’ll tell them not to.”

Rose felt her heart sink. “Mel, listen, I have some news for you about Ms. Canton. She had an emergency with her family, and she had to leave school and go home.”

“When is she coming back?”

“She’s not. She had to move home, to be with her family.”

“Why?” Melly frowned, confused.

“I don’t know more than I told you. Somebody in her family is sick, and she has to take care of them. She went home for good.”

“Forever?” Melly’s eyebrows flew upward, and Rose nodded, not hiding her disappointment.

“Yes. I know you like her, and you know she likes you, so much. But she can’t help it, she has-”

“She has to come back.” Melly raised her voice, anxious. “She’s the best teacher I ever had.”

“She won’t be able to come back, but I hope she can call us, to talk and say hi to you, if she’s not too busy.”

“But I like her. I want her to be my teacher.” Melly’s lower lip buckled, and Rose gave her a big hug.

“I know, sweetie. I’m hoping they’ll get a new teacher you’ll like as much as her. You know, you don’t have to go tomorrow if you don’t want to.”

“I want to, I just want her to be there.” Melly’s blue eyes glistened the way only a child’s can, showing all the hurt, unguarded and guileless. “Why didn’t they tell us this before?”

“Nobody knew. Things like this happen, in life. Unexpected things, and people have to take care of their families.” Rose shifted on the bed, waking Princess Google, who moved her head to Melly’s leg and gazed up at her with round, melty brown eyes. “Look. Googie knows you’re upset.”

“I know. It’s okay, Googs.” Melly stroked the dog’s head, her fingernails bright with pink polish, probably from the babysitter. “Don’t be sad, Googie Girl. Everything will be okay. Everything will turn out okay.”

Rose fell silent, listening and watching, and it struck her that Melly was comforting herself.

“Don’t worry, Googie. Don’t worry.” Melly kept petting the dog, who closed her eyes.

“I think you’re making her feel better.”

“I tell her all the time, don’t worry. But she still does.”

“It’s hard not to, sometimes.”

“She knows that.” Melly ran her hand down the spaniel’s coat to her feathery tail. “See, Mom, how this part is all white? Like a wiggly line down her back? That’s like a river, all along on her back, and the red parts are down the side.”

“I see.” Rose smiled, and Melly walked her fingers up to the spaniel’s fluffy neck, then scratched her ears.

“She likes it when I scratch here. She has mats in back of her ears, and I try to get the mats out. She doesn’t like the mats. She likes to look her best, so I help her.” Melly touched the russet patch on the spaniel’s head. “This is from the Countess’s thumb, in England.”

Rose had taught Melly that, one of the breed’s characteristics. “Remember what it’s called?”

“Her ‘Blenheim spot,’ because the Countess of Marlborough used to rest her thumb there, waiting for her husband to come home from the Battle of Blenheim.”

“Good for you.”

“The Countess lived in Blenheim Palace, in England. Harry Potter is from England, too.”

“Right.” Rose smiled.

“That’s what I like about Googie. We both have a spot.”

Rose blinked. Funny, she’d never made the connection. They’d gotten a Cavalier because she’d had one as a child and they were great with kids.

“I tell her not to be sad about her spot. The Countess gave it to her, and that’s just the way she is.” Melly shrugged, stroking the little spaniel. “I tell her, the spot is part of her. Just like Harry Potter. She has other spots, too.” She pointed to the small spots on the dog’s leg. “I told her she shouldn’t worry about any of her spots.”

“What does she say?”

“She says she doesn’t. Other people do.” Melly kept petting the dog, whose eyes stayed closed, fringed with red eyelashes. “When I see her, I don’t see the spots, I just see her. And she’s beautiful.”

Rose felt her throat catch. “I feel the same way. She’s the most beautiful dog I ever saw.”

Melly looked up. “Am I beautiful, Mom?”

“You sure are.”

“As beautiful as you? You were a model, in magazines.”

“Yes, and you know what I learned from all that?”

“What?”

“That beauty doesn’t really have anything to do with what we look like. It’s who we are inside, and what we do, in life. Googie’s beautiful because she has a beautiful little spirit inside her, and so do you.”

“And so do you, Mom.” Melly smiled sweetly, and Rose smiled back.

“Thanks, honeybun.”

“I can go to school tomorrow.”

“Okay, good idea,” Rose said, hoping it sounded like the truth.