Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

79

Total squirmed inside my jacket like a gopher in a hole. We were super high, keeping a lookout for planes, making our way across France. We hadn't bothered with the Itex plant in England, since it was just a single head of the hydra. We knew there were about four different Itex plants in Germany, including its world headquarters, and that's where we were headed. But this little dog was about to make me lose my mind.

He squirmed again. I resisted the temptation to unzip my jacket and let him discover the joy and excitement of free-falling. He took a breath and sniffed a little.

Here it comes, I thought.

"It's like you have no soul," Total said.

"Total, we've been over this," I said impatiently. "We checked out the Itex plant in Saint Jean-de-S #232;vre." Total grimaced at my pronunciation, making me want to smack him. "We're on a mission to check out the main headquarters, in Germany. There is no Itex plant in Paris. Thus, going to Paris makes no sense."

"No, it's only the center of world culture," he said. "The home of some of the best food on the planet. Fashion, art, architecture-ah, Versailles!" He sounded like he was about to cry.

I rolled my eyes.

"And yet, no Itex plant," I said pointedly.

"I wouldn't mind seeing Paris," said Nudge. "I saw this guidebook back at the library. They have little canal boats you can take tours on, and fancy gardens, and that Loovra museum, and palaces, and all kinds of stuff." She looked at me hopefully.

Total had taught both girls how to use crocodile tears, and now Angel turned grieving eyes on me. I steeled myself, waiting to feel her infiltrate my brain, but she didn't (that I could tell).

"Life is so short," Angel said sadly. "So short and so hard. The idea of seeing the City of Light, just once-"

"Oh, for God's sake," I muttered.

"It would almost make everything seem worthwhile," she finished.

"Yes, because what's a life of degradation and torture compared with a charming bistro on the Champs- #201;lys #233;es?" I asked, sarcasm dripping. Total grimaced again.

"Exactly!" Angel said excitedly. "That's what I'm talking about. It all becomes unimportant when you're standing, like, at Sacr #233;-Coeur!"

I knew I was beaten. If I didn't give in, not only would I have to listen to two children, a hulking disaster, and a dog whining at me all the way to Germany, but once we got there, no one would be able to concentrate on the mission. Plus, I was expecting the Voice to pop in at any second with some sage fortune-cookie advice like, See what Paris has to offer. Or, What's the lesson you could learn from this? Or, Maybe you'll find a bright, shiny clue to something right there at the Arc de Triomphe!

I looked down. Far below us, the millions of lights of Paris were obvious-it was the biggest city in the country and sparkled like a diamond. An expensive, time-consuming, no doubt pointless diamond.

I rubbed my forehead with one hand. "Oh, all right," I muttered. "Fine. We'll spend a couple hours in Paris."

I tried to block out the whoops of joy. Looking at Ari, I realized he hadn't weighed in. In general, he kept his thoughts to himself, as if he didn't deserve to have an opinion. Nudge and Angel still didn't look at him or interact with him. I also knew that Paris would be one of the last fun things he did in this life.

"Let's find someplace to sleep," I said, as we angled downward through the night.