Simply Sexy

CHAPTER TWELVE

FLOWERS ARRIVED at Rina's home. A thick, red, luxurious and obviously expensive bouquet of roses. The card had only two words: Please stay.

Next, she checked her e-mail and discovered a card sent from the office server. Lovers' quarrels are meant to be forgotten, it said.

And then there was the small box she'd found in her desk drawer. An empty velvet jewelry box. The best gifts are meant to be given in person. Forgive me.

The gifts were lovely, all sentimental, all intended to wrap around her heart. But the last one, the empty jewelry box that could only hold a ring, was almost her undoing. Until she reminded herself that none of the presents, the ring box included, could possibly be from Colin. The man had a direct style, and this anonymous note-sending wasn't an approach he'd choose. She couldn't help suspecting somebody else was trying to get her and Colin back together.

The phone rang, distracting her. She picked up the receiver. "Hello?"

"Hi, Rina? It's Cat."

"Cat!" Rina said, glad to hear from the other woman. She loved her outgoing personality and wanted to get to know her better. Then she remembered she wasn't staying in town. A lump rose to her throat.

"I hope you survived the holiday?" Cat asked. "I know that after a party at my place, I want to crawl into bed and stay there for days. It's amazing how I can cater at other people's homes without any problems, but bring the festivities to my house, and I'm a wreck."

Rina laughed. "I know what you mean. But it was so special having everyone share the holiday with me."

"Even if you did look like you'd lost your best friend?"

Rina blinked. "Emma always said you were perceptive."

"And nosy." A tinkling laughter followed Cat's pronouncement. "Is everything better with you and Colin?"

Rina twirled the phone cord around her finger and leaned back into her comfortable couch. "It's settled," she said. But was it? an inner voice asked.

"Forgive me for prying, but it didn't seem that way to me. Colin came for dinner last night and he was miserable."

Rina's heart pounded in her chest. She didn't want him unhappy, yet she couldn't help the lift in her heart that came with knowing he hadn't gotten over her quickly. Because she was nowhere near over him. "It's not something I caused, Cat."

"Well, I didn't cause my problems with Logan before we got married, but it was up to me to decide I could live with who and what he was." Cat cleared her throat. "Actually, I had to decide I could accept who and what I was," she admitted. "But that was me. We're talking about you."

Rina sighed. "Somehow I'm sensing there's not much difference." Colin accepted her for who and what she was. Despite the lies, in her heart, Rina understood that.

She understood that there'd been no honest, graceful way for him to tap her on the shoulder and say, "Hey, Rina, you should know, the paper's in deep financial trouble and the only way out is for me to cut the column you love so much."

Yes, she wished he'd told her. But she understood why he hadn't. She hadn't written an advice column for women without learning a few things herself. And in the days since discovering the truth, she'd put herself in Colin's position and knew the words couldn't possibly come easily for him. Especially after he'd learned how important her work and newly asserted independence were to her, both missing in her past marriage.

Like Robert, Colin wanted to give her what she desired. Unlike Robert, Colin listened to her needs, accepted them, and didn't want to be the man to destroy her dreams. She sighed.

"Hello?" Catherine called into the phone. "You're breathing but not speaking. What's going on?"

Rina smiled and glanced at the flowers and notes strewn on the table. She didn't want to put Catherine in the middle of her messed-up love life. "Does Colin strike you as a guy who'd send flowers and anonymous notes?"

Cat laughed. "No. Are you receiving them?"

"Yes." Rina paused in thought.

"Emma," they said at the same time.

"That's my guess," Cat said. "You can't imagine the lengths she went to in order to get Logan and I back together. She actually sent me fairy dust!"

Rina rolled her eyes. "That sounds like Emma, all right. Which just goes to show you, even her own social life doesn't keep her busy enough to keep her from meddling."

"Nothing could," Cat said. "Listen, before I forget, the reason I called is that I left my favorite serving dish at your house the other night."

"It's all cleaned for you." Rina drew a deep breath. "How about we meet for lunch sometime next week and I'll return it then?"

Because in her heart she realized that Ashford was home and she couldn't bear to leave it or the friends she'd begun to make here, regardless of whether Colin decided to stay or go.

"Sounds good."

After agreeing on an exact day and time, Rina hung up the phone and stared around her small apartment. If she closed her eyes, she could see Colin everywhere. He'd made such a big impact in the weekend he'd spent here.

And she missed him now. But how much worse would the ache be if she let things get even more serious and then he took off? She'd lost Robert in an unexpected, devastating tragedy and she'd promised herself from the beginning that she wouldn't get emotionally involved with Colin because he'd never said he was staying. She didn't want her heart broken again. But control was an illusion and she'd fallen in love despite it all. With a man who would probably leave at the first opportunity, whether he knew it yet or not. His history spoke louder than his words.

She rubbed her aching temples. She didn't know what, if anything, Colin wanted out of their relationship. There was no denying he understood and accepted Rina for who and what she was. The question was, did she accept him?

COLIN HAD SPENT a long week gathering information. From the accountants, he'd learned that things were on a slow upswing. From old and loyal advertisers who'd slowly begun to pull out or take less space, he'd discovered that they liked the new offerings but not in place of hard news. The old format or some semblance thereof would entice them to advertise more in the hopes of reaching more people again. Especially if Colin promised to stay in town and run things along with Corinne.

And the head guys at Fortune's had latched on to the financial upswing, too. Because of their loyalty to Joe, they'd agreed to ride out the problems for a while longer. The conservative advertiser could live with the risqué quality of the columns, as long as it wasn't shoved in people's faces over breakfast.

From the bank, Colin found out that he qualified for a line of credit, one that would enable him to pay back the lender, and leave the fate of the paper solely within Colin's hands. He didn't know why he hadn't thought of it sooner. The line of credit was the only means to convince Rina he had faith in her column, her vision, and in her. It was the only thing he could think of to secure their future. If she bailed on him after that, he couldn't say he hadn't tried.

When his doorbell rang late New Year's Eve, he was surprised, since he had no plans and wasn't expecting company. He zipped his jeans, skipping the button. Whoever wanted to talk to him would just have to deal with his couch-potato casual dress.

He pulled open the door, shocked when he came face-to-face with Rina. He hadn't expected to see her until after the new year and had resigned himself to leaving her alone since that's what she seemed to want. At least until he had his proof compiled and groveling speech ready, of course.

"This is a surprise." He stepped back to let her inside, hoping he wouldn't do something to scare her off before he had a chance to find out what she wanted.

"I had to talk to you and it wasn't something I could do at work." She bit down on her lower lip. "Can I take off my coat and stay awhile?"

She could stay forever, but he doubted she was ready to hear that. "Sure thing." He helped her off with her jacket and hung it on the rack in the entryway, then gestured for her to head up the stairs.

Following behind, he couldn't keep his eyes off her jean-clad behind, swaying as she walked, and he was hard in an instant. He needed to make her his once more. Not just in a primal male way, but in a completely permanent one.

She stood by the couch and turned toward him, a file folder clutched against her chest.

"What do you have there?" he asked.

"Something that I think will simplify your life." She reached inside the manila folder and pulled out a single sheet of white paper. "I know that our relationship complicated your goals for the paper, and with Joe sick, you need to do what's right for the Times, not for me. So here."

His stomach in knots, he accepted the paper and skimmed the contents of the letter, his gut cramping more with each word. "You're resigning?"

She nodded, her eyes sad and huge. "You don't need to tiptoe around my feelings anymore or worry about what I'll think of you." She let out a laugh. "Not that I'm saying you worry at all about what I think of you, but I was hoping this would make any decisions easier on you."

"Are you finished?" he asked when she'd stopped rambling.

"Yes."

He held up the paper and ripped it in half. "Don't want it, don't need it. But I do want to know what the hell would possess you to quit a job you obviously love so much?"

"All good things must come to an end. And you said yourself, the paper's in financial trouble and getting rid of the newer columnists is the solution."

He raised an eyebrow. "I also remember saying I hoped to save both your job and Emma's."

"Hope isn't definite. And you need to concentrate on what's best for the paper, not what's best for me."

"But you believe I want to save your job?"

One side of her mouth lifted. He'd take the first half smile in over a week as a positive sign.

"Yeah, I do," she said at last.

"And if I said I had saved your column, that you still had a job, would you stay?"

"Is that a hypothetical question? Because I don't think I can play games anymore."

For the first time he noticed the stress in her taut expression and the darker circles under her eyes. Well, at least she wasn't getting any more sleep than he was. Reaching out, he grasped her hand. "I'm not looking to play games, either. It's an honest question."

She glanced down at their intertwined hands, his darker skin, her softer, whiter flesh. "I'm staying whether or not there's a place for me at the Times," she admitted. "Ashford is home now."

He released a harsh breath. Now that, he hadn't expected to hear. "Rina?"

She glanced up to meet his gaze.

"I'm glad."

She blinked, moisture filling her eyes. "You are? Why? Will you stay long enough for it to matter?"

"I told you the other day, I'm not going anywhere. My family is here, my new job is here, and most importantly, you're here."

"Your family's always been here."

He laughed. "Leave it to you to point out the obvious. Yes, my family's always been here, but my heart hasn't been."

She searched his expression, obviously looking deeper inside him. "And now it is?"

He paused, wondering how to explain something he'd only just come to terms with himself. "I needed to face my past in order to have a future. Or at least a stable one, anyway. I've done that now." He squeezed her hand tighter. "Thanks to you. From the day I met you, I recognized you were special. That you had the ability to change me."

Rina's heart felt full. She didn't know whether to laugh because she seemed on the verge of getting everything she wanted, or cry because she was so afraid he was saying the words he wanted to believe but wasn't ready to act on. She was still afraid she'd lose him to his emotional fear.

Then again, there was the real possibility it was still her fear she was dealing with, not his. Knowing she had one chance left with Colin, she listened with an open mind, and she hoped with an open heart. "Change you how?" she asked.

"For the better, of course." He winked, then sobered quickly, looking at her with those intense blue eyes she adored. "I never let Joe and Nell inside." He tapped his chest. "I couldn't because I feared it would mean being disloyal to my parents and losing them forever."

He shook his head. "Of course, they were already gone, but I didn't want to face that. So I ran. First into a marriage that was doomed from the start because we were so different, and then abroad. But now I've come home and faced the fact that I almost lost Joe. So I'm through running. I've got too much going for me here."

Rina tipped her head to one side. "Am I included in all that?"

"As long as you've stopped running, too." He gestured to the torn resignation pages that had dropped to the floor. "That was my doing. But you're the one who has to have the courage to stick around. I know you said you're staying, but…"

"Are you calling me a coward?" Rina tried to play things light but the situation was too serious. Too much was at stake, and her joking words fell flat.

Placing an arm around her shoulder, he lowered her to the couch, then met her gaze. "I can't promise you I won't up and die on you, sweetheart," he said, nailing her biggest fear.

Her heart began a rapid, pounding beat and her pulse rate skyrocketed. For the first time since knowing Colin, sexual desire wasn't the cause. Pure adrenaline was. That old fight-or-flight mechanism.

The time had come for her to make a stand. As Colin had done, she had to face her past and reach out for what she wanted, or regret it for the rest of her life. She'd come here intending to bare her feelings, but now fear lodged in her throat.

But she was letting it go. To move forward, not away. "I can't promise you I won't panic every once in a while," she warned him.

"I can handle a little panic," he said wryly. "In fact, I've gotten used to going out on a limb. I've talked Corinne into taking a second mortgage on their place. And I've co-signed for a loan, as well. I've held off the advertisers with a promise of better returns next quarter, and I paid off the guy who lent us money to keep the paper afloat. The only people controlling the Times now are me and Corinne. We're running things together." He laughed. "Who'd have thought?"

She blinked, stunned at his news. For one thing, he was working with Corinne, though she shouldn't be surprised. He'd do anything for Joe. Then there was his second bit of news. "You put Joe's place-and your finances-on the line for the paper?"

He shook his head vehemently, shocking her. "I did it for you."

"What?" She wasn't sure she'd heard him correctly.

"I could have continued to use Ron's money and pay off the loan as the paper steadily gets back on its feet. He was willing. But I don't want you to ever doubt that I have faith in you or your abilities."

Her heart soared higher than it had minutes earlier, strengthening the resolve she'd had all along to risk her heart on this man.

"Colin, I'm sorry. Because I feared another loss, I blamed you for not telling me about the loan, the paper, everything. But that was my problem to resolve, not yours. You never had to prove anything to me." But he cared enough to try and she loved him even more for it. "And now you've risked so much for me…I don't know what to say."

"I do." He treated her to the endearing, sexy grin she'd missed in the last week.

She leaned closer, waiting.

He stroked her cheek and an erotic, tingling sensation shot a path to her belly. A delicious, curling warmth settled inside her.

"You can say you love me, too," he said.

She sucked in a deep breath, then exhaled as everything she'd dreamed of fell squarely into her lap. "You love me?"

"That's what I said."

"In a backhanded way."

"Okay, so call it guy-speak. In female terms, that would be those infamous three words. I love you."

He grinned, but she didn't miss the apprehension in his voice and she put him out of his misery. "I love you, too."

He met her lips with his in a kiss much needed and long overdue. His tongue swept over her mouth and she opened wide, allowing him inside…and into her heart.

Too soon, he broke the kiss and reached over, pulling open a drawer in the table at the end of the couch. "I left your Christmas party with this still in my jacket. I didn't think I'd get the chance to give it to you." He opened his hand and revealed a bangle bracelet with tiny diamonds embedded in gold.

She sucked in a startled breath. "It's beautiful," she murmured as he snapped it on her wrist.

"I stared at it for many lonely nights, imagining what it would look like on your wrist." He tilted his head and met her gaze. "Merry Christmas, Rina."

"Merry Christmas, Colin." Her eyes misted as she glanced at his beautiful gift.

"What's wrong?"

"I didn't have anything nearly as special for you."

She wrinkled her nose and Colin leaned forward to kiss the tiny lines she'd created. "What'd you get me?"

"Stationery and an engraved pen, so you wouldn't forget to write me."

She shrugged, looking so sorry, so lost, and so his, Colin didn't care if she'd given him a lump of coal. "Look at it this way. I can use it to write you love notes-every morning for the rest of our lives."

She raised an eyebrow. "Is that a proposal?"

"You're damn right it is." Once again, he reached over and into that drawer, bringing out the second part of her gift, the one he'd bought just yesterday, after co-signing the papers for the loan. "Didn't you think that empty jewelry box was a message of some sort?" he asked.

Because he'd left the velvet ring box in her desk, wanting her to find it, wanting her to realize he had it in him to stick around forever.

"You gave me the box?" she asked, obviously surprised.

"Of course I did. Why? Is there another man you think would leave you a private note and personal gift?"

"How about the flowers?" Rina asked.

A jealous tingling ran up his spine. He shook his head. "No flowers."

"Anonymous e-mail?"

"No," he said through clenched teeth.

She smoothed a hand over his cheek. "Relax. Your only competition is an eighty-year-old woman looking to get us back together." She laughed and he was able to calm down.

"Emma didn't."

"She did."

"Stan's got to take her in hand," he muttered.

"I'd like to see him try. In fact, I'd like to see any man try to tame an independent woman."

"Is that a challenge?" he asked.

A wicked gleam flickered in her gaze. "Are you up to it?"

"Sweetheart, I thought you'd never ask. Step one in taming you." He opened his hand to reveal a diamond ring, then slipped it on her trembling left hand. "You now belong to me."

She took in the sign of his love, one thought out and saved for the right moment, and brought it to her chest. A tremor shook her and she shuddered, happiness filling her. "You're so special, Colin. I love you."

He smiled. "I love you, too. Which brings me to step two. You were speechless, then resorted to exalting me. I'd call that tamed. Now do you need me to bring out the big guns or do you think I'm up to the challenge?"

Rina loved joking with him, talking with him, sharing and just being with him. Was he up to the challenge? She moved her hand to the front of his jeans, maneuvering until she cradled his hard length in her palm. "Hmm. I think I need to explore a bit more."

Colin grinned, then lay back on the couch and let her do just that. She unzipped his jeans and pulled them and his boxers down to his ankles, trapping him at her mercy. And with her tongue, she proceeded to show him who was the master and who was the slave.

And later, she was more than happy to play the subservient one while he pleasured her. Then they made love, a coming together of equals, Rina thought. A place she didn't mind being for the rest of her life.