Sneaky Pie's Cookbook For Mystery Lovers

Cat/Dog/Human

Serves 4

MOTHER’S FRIED CHICKEN

1 package chicken pieces or 1 broiler chicken, cut into serving pieces (legs, wings, thighs, breasts)

2 cups chicken breader mix

¼ cup Old Bay seasoning

Salt and pepper

Vegetable or peanut oil

Thoroughly rinse the chicken pieces and pat them dry.

Mix the chicken breader mix and Old Bay seasoning in a large brown paper bag.

Add salt and pepper to taste.

Heat the oil in a large chicken fryer or deep fryer until hot but not smoking.

Dredge the chicken pieces in the breader mix and add to the hot oil. Fry until golden brown.

Drain on paper towels.

Put on a baking sheet arid bake at 350°G F. for 20 to 30 minutes, or until cooked through.

THIS SATISFIES YOUR need for crunchy sounds … and your need for meat. Humans will eat it, too. Caution: Cats and dogs should not eat bones. Those tiny chicken bones can splinter in your intestine and kill you. Ask your human to cut the chicken off the bone.

Mother says there are two ways to make a man fall in love with you. One is to serve him good fried chicken. The other is to wear red and yellow. There’s a folk saying, “Red and yellow, catch a fellow.” I don’t know where it came from or why those colors but Mom absolutely believes it.

She also wishes on stars and carries a lucky rabbit’s foot. Wasn’t lucky for the rabbit, I can tell you.

Humans aren’t rational but since they only talk to one another, they don’t know it.

Some other cherished beliefs of my human:

An itchy palm means money’s coming your way.

If your nose itches, someone is talking about you.

A blackbird pecking on a windowpane means someone in the family will die soon.

Cocktail parties are an excellent way to weaken men.

If a shadow crosses your mirror a secret will be revealed.

If any animal brings you a human hand, you will come to great power.

When visiting a human in his or her new home, bring an offering of salt in one container and sugar in another. (Mom always brings a loaf of fresh bread, too.)

Never give anyone an empty purse. Always put a dollar in it.

On Christmas Eve at midnight, go to the stable and speak to the horses and cattle. They will speak back because animals first recognized Jesus. Took the Wise Men until January 6th.

I could fill a book with these superstitions. There’s no point arguing with a human over something like this. You have to humor them.