Sneaky Pie's Cookbook For Mystery Lovers

Human

CHICKEN CORN SOUP

Serves 4 to 6

8 cups chicken stock

1 cup white rice

2 hard-boiled eggs. peeled and sliced

2 cups white corn (the kernels from about 3 ears)

3 tablespoons coarsely chopped fresh passley (or 2 teaspoons dried)

In a large pot over high heat, bring the chicken stock to a boil. Stir in the rice, reduce the heat to medium-low, and simmer for 10 minutes.

Add the hard-boiled eggs, corn, and parsley. Reduce the heat to low, cover, and continue cooking until the rice is tender, 10 to 15 minutes longer.

CATS CAN EAT the soup, too, but humans like it best. Like all country recipes, you can fiddle with it to suit yourself, but it’s real simple. Some people might prefer noodles to rice.

I like fish best of all but Pewter and Tucker like chicken. A Rhode Island Red led to Pewter’s public disgrace.

Pewter visits the chicken coop daily, dreaming of snatching a Silky or even one of the larger Rhode Island Reds. Knowing of Pewter’s murderous intent, Mom covered the top of the chicken coop with small-gauge wire mesh. Keeps the hawks out, too. They’ll swoop down and carry off a chicken so fast it will freeze your heart, especially if, like me, you’re smaller than the hawk.

Last summer Mother hosted a picnic. Wooden trestle tables were set in parallel rows. Pretty red checkered tablecloths added to the color. Forty people came. The fun of the party was that each person had to bring a covered dish. Mom supplied the barbecue and the drinks. I don’t know why parties are more fun when everyone pitches in, but they are.

The human ages ranged from two to ninety-one years old. The children played, watched the horses, and got into the chicken coop. Before I knew it, chickens were running everywhere, squawking, flapping their wings. All those insects flying in the air and crawling around on the ground were a picnic for them.

Mom knew there was no point in putting the chickens back until after the picnic because the children would let them out again by accident. So the chickens, under the guise of eating bugs, slowly began to work their way toward the picnic. They heard Mom’s voice, which they associate with food. Personally, I think chickens are dumb as a post but Mom believes her chickens are intelligent. There’s no point arguing.

Anyway, Pewter crouched low in the grass, cackling with delight. Why she thought her butt would be hidden from view by lying low is beyond me. That cat is fat. Of course, the chickens saw her and they recognized their tormentor. They paid her no mind.

One medium-sized red hen strayed away from the rest. As she pecked away, seizing white grubs and other delicacies, Pewter inched forward, then leapt up.

The hen cocked her head, fluffed her feathers, and emitted an earsplitting shriek. Scared Pewter. She landed in front of the chicken, who darted around behind her, grabbing her gray tail.

Now Pewter let out an earsplitting shriek. The huge Australorp rooster ran over and flapped his wings, kicking at Pewter with his spurs. Those things can cut you.

By now Pewter never wanted to see another chicken, but the red hen wouldn’t let go. The humans were laughing so hard they were useless.

Finally, Mother pulled herself together and shooed the chicken from Pewter. The rooster flew up in her face, too. That offended Tucker, who growled, scaring the rooster, who flew onto one of the picnic tables, leaving a few well-aimed deposits.

The tip of Pewter’s tail was blunted. Unfortunate, as her tail is short to begin with. (The artist for the Sneaky Pie mysteries, knowing of Pewter’s vanity, makes her tail longer than it really is.)

Pewter vows to kill that hen, but she’ll never do it.

The humans agreed it was the best picnic they’d ever attended.