Sneaky Pie's Cookbook For Mystery Lovers

Cat

SUNDAY SALMON DINNER

1 (7-ounce) can norwegian salmon

1 (1.4-ounce) package dry cat food or ¾ cup if you don’t use individual packages (use a fish flowor)

1 (8-once) package soft cream cheese

Chop the salmon into small pieces.

Mix in well with the dry cat food.

Cut the cream cheese into 4 squares and roll them into balls.

Roll the cream cheese balls in the mix until thoroughly covered. (Omit the cream cheese for a fat cat.)

Serve immediately or refrigerate in a tightly sealed container.

HUMANS ARE PACK animals. Cats are not. What makes living with humans often difficult is they refuse to admit they are pack animals—each human believes, deep down, that he or she is a rugged individualist. This illusion is particularly rampant in America.

I can prove this, should you doubt it, with a few examples:

Would any cat in her right mind wear stiletto heels?

Would any cat drink spirits until she or he puked?

Would any cat smoke cigarettes, thereby blunting her or his sense of smell? As for yellow teeth, I guess that wouldn’t be so bad if you’re a Burmese cat.

Would any cat crimp her hair until it looked as though she’d stuck her paw in a light socket?

Would any cat pay taxes even if the money showed up again in her or his community?

Would any cat give up meat?

Would any cat believe she or he is at the top of the food chain? This one just cracks me up.

Would any cat swear to be monogamous in front of a room full of other cats?

Would any cat have a facelift, tint whiskers, lengthen her or his tail?

Would any cat go down a hill on two sticks in the snow?

Would any cat go to war?

I rest my case.