Surrender to Love

23

“I need you to vacate the premises tomorrow,” Jon said as he walked through the front door.

In the middle of watching a movie, his sister, Casey, twisted around to look at him. “Hello to you, too. Thank you for asking about my day.” She rolled her eyes. “I guess I was the only one listening when Mom and Dad were giving lessons on being polite.”

Casey had come to town under the guise of needing a place to stay while her place was fumigated for bugs—hazards of living in an apartment complex he supposed. However, Jon suspected that it had more to do with his parents and the fit he’d had at dinner the other day, but without evidence, he couldn’t very well turn her away. So he’d given her the spare bedroom. Normally a bachelor like himself would probably find having his little sister in his personal space a real buzz kill, but Jon enjoyed having her around. Sometimes the quiet became too much to bear, so he welcomed the distraction.

Kicking of his shoes, Jon joined her on the couch. “Hello. How was your day? Mine was good. Tomorrow, you need to vamoose.”

“Ugh.” Casey tossed her head back. “For how long?”

“I don’t know. Maybe the whole day, maybe the night. Depends on how well things go.” He winked at her, a devilish smile cresting his face.

Casey’s mouth twisted in a disgusted grimace. “I don’t want to hear about your sexual exploits!” She waved her hands as she got up and headed toward the kitchen. “I’ll see if I can stay with a friend or something.”

“Thanks, sis, you’re the best,” Jon grinned. “Hey, grab me a beer while you’re out there?”

“I hope this woman knows what she’s getting into,” Casey said, returning with drinks for them both.

Jon accepted his beer and twisted the cap off. “She does.”

Casey’s eyes widened. “You told her?”

Jon didn’t have to ask to know what she meant. “Yeah, she knows about Nora.”

“What did she say?”

“The same as everyone else, that it wasn’t my fault. I shouldn’t blame myself.” He gulped his beer, all at once feeling uncomfortable.

“Well, she’s right you know.” Casey regarded him thoughtfully. “You’ve never told anyone else before, have you? I mean, is this it? Is she ‘The One’?”

Twisting the cold bottle between his fingers, Jon thought about it. Patricia was one of a kind. She was kind and smart, funny and sexy, and she was the only person besides his family that he had ever trusted with his past. That she hadn’t rejected him meant the world to him. Then he’d screwed it all up, just like he knew he would, just not the way he thought it would happen. He’d assumed that she would run the other way when she learned his truth. Instead, she had accepted it and even tried to reinforce what everyone had told him for years—that he wasn’t to blame.

If he weren’t careful, he might start to believe them. A part of him already did.

He wasn’t sure if it had been overnight change, or if it was a long time coming, but he noticed the difference. It was as though something inside of him had shifted. He no longer felt this gripping sense of despair or the oppressive guilt weighing him down. Oh, it was still there, but it wasn’t as heavy of a burden to carry anymore.

He knew that it had something to do with Patricia and her total acceptance of him.

He hadn’t realized until he’d told her just how much his past had influenced his life. He’d put his future on hold, denied himself one all together, because he didn’t think himself worthy of anyone’s love.

He was wrong.

Nora’s parents were wrong.

If someone like Patricia could find something in him worth caring about, worth saving, then he couldn’t be that far gone.

That day at his parents’ house, he hadn’t lied when he’d told his mother that he would think about fixing things with Patricia. He’d thought about it long and hard. While he was mulling it over, he went about his days as though his personal life wasn’t in a complete shambles. He’d made it to meetings on time, somehow managed to stay plugged in during the most boring presentations, and even managed to work in a few interviews for prospective accountants into his lunch hours.

Overall, he’d kept busy and productive, but it wasn’t until the day of the shower that he’d come to a final decision.

He’d asked his friend, Travis, to come along for moral support, because he knew Patricia would be there and he needed the distraction so he wouldn’t make a complete fool out of himself.

The moment he walked in, it was as if his entire being sensed her, and he zeroed in on her. She was stunning in a navy wrap dress with her golden hair left down around her shoulders. He wanted to go to her right then, drop down on his knees before her, and beg her forgiveness, but the look on her face made him restrain himself.

He couldn’t tell what she was thinking, but her strained expression didn’t seem too promising…or welcoming. Somehow, he was able to keep his distance. He tried not to look at her, but his eyes kept straying. He tried not to pay any attention to her at all, but it seemed like the only voice he could hear belonged to her. It was as though he were hyper attuned to her every move, every breath. She consumed him.

The last time he’d found himself seeking her out, he caught her gaze and held. It was like a silent communication, a connection of souls, and he knew he couldn’t wait any longer to talk to her. Then her friend leaned in, and from the way Patricia looked at him, he knew something was wrong. When she ran off, he followed.

It killed him to listen to her crying in the women’s stall, and he knew she wouldn’t want him to be there to witness her pain, but he was glad he was. He wanted to be there for her, in whatever way he could, even if he were the cause of her pain.

In the end, he was glad he had been, because he wouldn’t be seeing her tomorrow if he hadn’t followed his heart and chased after her.

He knew the answer to Casey’s question. Taking her hand, he gave it a squeeze. “Yeah, she’s ‘The One’.”

Squealing, Casey launched herself into his arms and hugged him tight. “I am so happy for you, big brother! Are you going to propose?” she asked, pulling away.

He shook his head and leaned forward to place his empty bottle on the table. “One step at a time, little sister. I haven’t even found out if she’ll take me back yet.” He frowned down at his hands. “I really screwed things up with her.”

Casey rubbed small circles into his back. “If she’s coming over, then I’d say she’s already forgiven you. I suggest you lock it down before she comes to her senses and realizes you’re the same beer drinking, golf playing, football watching meat head as all the rest of them.”

“Oh really?” Jon said, twisting around to grab her hands. Casey squirmed, laughing as she brought her feet up between them.

“Don’t you dare!”

“You think you’re so funny,” Jon said, restraining his own laughter. He dug his fingers into her armpits, ripping a shriek out of her. “This coming from the girl who’s dating an ex-football player.”

“Jon,” she panted, struggling to fend off his attack. “Stop, I’m gonna pee!”

“Then I hope you remembered to wear your Pull-Ups.”

“I want everything to be perfect.”

Patti watched Jules shift from side to side in front of the mirror, admiring her perfect figure and stunning good looks. If she had even half of her natural beauty, well, she’d still be sitting here on the bed watching her friend get ready for a date. Despite going out with her friends on a regular basis, she wasn’t really a social person. She enjoyed her friends, she enjoyed having a good time, but she wasn’t a partier. She’d never be able to do what Jules did, which was pick up random guys. With everything she did in life, Jules possessed more confidence in her little fingers than Patti did in her entire being.

“Would you quit fussing?” Patti flopped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. “Everything will be perfect, and you know it.”

She heard the subtle swish of fabric as Jules crossed the room to lie down beside her. “You really think so?”

“I know so.” She couldn’t imagine anything having to do with Jules being less than perfect. It seemed to be her theme in life.

Jules took her hand and squeezed it. “Thanks.” She turned her head to look at her, and Patti did the same. “So what about your guy? What did I interrupt earlier?”

Patti shrugged. “Nothing. He followed me when I went to the bathroom.”

“Shut up!” Jules slapped her thigh, her eyes widening. “Did you pull a Piper? Did you two do it in the ladies’ room?”

“What?” Patti screeched, incredulous. “Jon isn’t a man whore,” she claimed, her thoughts straying briefly to their first date when he’d pinned her to the side of her house and turned her body inside out with just a few simple touches.

“Every man is a man whore if given the right place and the right opportunity.”

“Well, Jon isn’t. He’s a gentleman.” Patti sniffed.

“I’ll just bet he is.” Jules snorted. “So what happened, besides sex, when he followed you?”

“Like I said, nothing. We just talked.”

“Did you tell him about the baby?”

Patti chewed her lip. “Not yet.”

“Then when? You can’t put this off forever you know. These things have a way of getting found out,” Jules chided. “You know, right about the time your stomach blows up like a balloon, or, if not then, when you show up one day with a squirming human in your arms that shits its pants. Kind of hard to sweep something like that under the rug.”

“I don’t plan to sweep it under the rug. In fact,” Patti said with more confidence than she felt, “since Jon invited me over tomorrow, I’m going to tell him then.”

Rolling on to her side, Jules propped her head in her hand and smiled brightly. “You know what you should do? You should totally pick up something that will make this surprise bigger and better.”

Patti’s brows pinched together. “Like a present or something?”

“Well, yeah. Get him something that says, hey, you, guess what? You’re going to be a dad! Then, when you’re thinking about backing out of the deal, because I know you and you totally will—” she leveled Patti with a knowing look, “—then you can just pop out the prezi and drop it in his hand.”

Patti thought about it and knew it was an option that she could definitely exploit if she found herself getting cold feet. “And then what do I do, walk away?”

“If you’re a complete chicken shit, sure. But at least he’ll know he has a kid on the way.”

Sitting up, Patti sucked in a breath and propped her fists on her hips, feeling empowered, like superwoman…or a mom. “I hope you’ll be fine here tonight, because it looks like I have some shopping to do.”