Surrender to Love

24

It was early. Like roll out of bed and stumble around for a cup of coffee early. Patti had already had three, so she was both peppy and jittery as she parked her car in front of Jon’s condo.

A brief look around revealed his car was missing. Pulling out her phone, she sucked her bottom lip between her teeth and bit down. He’d said to come by when she got the time. She had the time now.

Looking down, she eyed the little cream-colored box resting in her lap. When she’d left her house last night, she’d driven around the city trying to think of the perfect gift. She burned nearly a quarter tank of gas before she came up with the perfect place and the perfect idea. Now it was burning a hole through her pant leg.

She wanted desperately to see Jon and give him the present. She wanted to see the look in his eyes when he opened it and everything clicked into place. It was a little early to say everything that needed to be said, but she hadn’t slept all night, as she was too eager to see him. She’d almost driven over in the middle of the night, but that would have made her seem crazy, and even though she felt like she might lose her mind from the anticipation eating a hole through her, she wanted to do everything right. She had a plan. Unfortunately, she’d already broken the first part of her plan, which was to wait until noon, then offer to make him lunch. The groceries were even sitting in the back seat, but she’d just have to settle for making him breakfast, because she was too wound up to wait another minute.

Pulling out her phone, Patti dialed his. On the third ring, it went to voice mail. “Hey, Jon, it’s me.” She paused. “Um, you said to come by when I was ready. I’m ready. I’m in front of your place, but I don’t see your car. Call me when you get this message.”

Ending the call, Patti tucked the box inside her purse, steeled herself, and opened the door. Just because he hadn’t answered his phone, and just because his car wasn’t there, didn’t mean that he wasn’t home. He could have lent the car to a friend. He might still be sleeping, as any sane person would be this early on a weekend. She had to be sure.

Knocking loudly in case he was sleeping, Patti stood back and waited. After a minute passed, she pounded her fist against the door again, and then glanced around the still parking lot. She felt a little deflated as the likelihood of him not being home grew.

She was just about to go sit in her car and wait it out when the locks on the other side of the door popped.

Her smile was instantly there as she spun around. It melted just as fast when she met the curious blue eyes of the woman on the other side.

“Uh…” Patti’s gaze skated down the woman. Her hair was wet, dripping over slender shoulders, her trim body wrapped in a white towel. Fresh out of the shower, Patti thought bitterly. Dressed in Jon’s towel. On a weekend. First thing in the morning.

She didn’t have to work very hard to understand what was going on here.

“Can I help you?” the woman asked.

Her voice grated. Was this what Jon liked? Tall, slim…she couldn’t tell the exact color of her hair since it was plastered to her skull, but she was pretty sure it was a dark mahogany. Had Jon run his hands through that hair?

There was something familiar about her, but in her haze of hurt and anger, she couldn’t place it. “I was—” She cleared her throat to cover the stammering. “Is Jon home?”

“No,” the woman said slowly, her dark brows pulling down as she studied her. “He just stepped out.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry, what did you say your name was?”

The last thing Patti wanted to do was tell this woman her name. “Do you know when he’ll be back?” The longer she stood there, the more her chest constricted, and the more nauseous she became. Panic was beginning to set in, and Patti felt the need to flee growing stronger by the second.

“No, but I’m sure he’ll be back soon,” the woman reassured her. “He just went out to pick us up some breakfast.”

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Patti backed down off the one and only step. Jon was out picking up breakfast for him and this…woman, whatever she was to him. All she knew was that she didn’t want to be there when he returned.

The woman had hidden partially behind the door when she’d first answered it, but as soon as she saw Patti begin to back away, she whipped it open wide, placing her in full view of everyone in the neighborhood.

“You can come in and wait for him if you want,” she offered, her voice unsure but holding a note of worry. “He’ll be home soon.”

Patti was already shaking her head before she’d finished her sentence. “No, I need to take off. I have… things to do.” Then she remembered what she’d come here to do. Her fingers closed around her purse strap. This wasn’t how she’d pictured things would go, but she knew now how farfetched that dream had been. Yanking open the zipper, she plunged her hand inside and grasped the box. Taking the few steps back to the door, she held it out to the woman. “Can you give this to him when he gets back?”

Long, thin fingers accepted it, but the woman gave her a puzzled look. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather give it to him yourself? He’ll be back any minute.”

She kept saying that. Patti shook her head, adamant. “No. Just give him that, please.”

“Who should I tell him it’s from?” the woman called after her as Patti turned and dashed for the safety of her car.

She didn’t answer.

What would she even say? His ex-girlfriend? His baby momma? She felt like such a fool. Jules told her that Sheila had seen him having dinner with another woman, and she’d brushed it off, certain that she must have been mistaken. What if this woman was the one they had seen him with?

Jamming her keys into the ignition, Patti turned the engine and backed out of her spot as quickly and as carefully as she could. She was mad at Jon, but she was angrier with herself for letting herself believe the best in him. Every man she had ever been with had chosen someone like the woman back there over her. Why had she ever thought he’d be any different?

She didn’t speed, she didn’t cut in and out of traffic, or otherwise do anything that would put her or her child in harm’s way as she drove toward the only place that could give her any solace from her broken heart. To the only person who had ever really understood and accepted her.

Her dad.

Jon walked through the door and dropped a bag of take-out on the kitchen counter. “Breakfast!”

He dug in, setting out food containers and inhaling the aroma of freshly cooked sausage and eggs. It was basic, fatty sustenance that he could have made for them himself, but sometimes it just felt nice to have someone else do it. He’d probably have a heart attack by the time he hit forty, but carpe diem and all that.

Thoughts of Patricia swirled around in his head. He wondered when, exactly, she would show up. If she would show up. He’d hate to sit around all day waiting, only to end up alone at the end of the night. They had some issues they needed to go over and some things they needed to squash before they could put it all behind them and move forward.

That was the part he was most looking forward to—moving ahead.

Patricia was his future, and he knew that now. The truth rang in him like a church bell, loud, musical, and beautiful in a way that tugged at his heartstrings. She was ‘The One’. It was crazy to even think it, but ever since Casey had put that thought into his head, he couldn’t deny the truth of it. For so long it seemed impossible, and now it was a reality, and it was within his reach. All he had to do was stretch out his hand and take it.

This amazing woman had snuck in and stolen his heart before he even realized that he had let down his guard, and he couldn’t be happier about it. If not for her, he would still be wallowing in self-pity, committing himself to a life of loneliness and self-hatred and a long line of nameless, faceless women who didn’t care for him any more than he cared for them.

She gave meaning to his life. How could he ever repay her?

He could love her, that’s how. He could spend the rest of his life loving her and caring for her, letting her know every day, in every way, that she was the very air he breathed. He could live without her, but he didn’t want to, and he didn’t want to waste any more time on what should have or could have been. The past was the past and he was ready to leave it there. Screw what anyone else thought he should do with his life, and screw what they thought about him, because he refused to be their whipping boy any longer. He’d suffered, too, damn it, and the time had come to stop. The time had come to surrender to the past, to the future, to the woman whom he’d turned his heart over to, and the time had come to surrender to love.

Reaching into his pants pocket, Jon dialed Patricia’s number as he called out, “Breakfast is getting cold, sis! Move it or lose it!”

He shoveled a bite of eggs into his mouth and pressed the phone to his ear as he chewed. He frowned when the call turned over to voice mail. “Hey, it’s me. Just wondering when you planned to come over. Call me back.” He paused, wondering if he should tack on those three little words that seemed ready to leap from his throat, but in the end, he thought better of it, and ended the call. He didn’t want to scare her away.

Just as he was about to set his phone down, Jon noticed that he had a message waiting for him. A niggling of something he couldn’t quite identify began to work its way into his gut as he played the message.

“Hey, Jon, it’s me.” There was a pregnant pause in which Jon’s heart began to beat a little faster. “Um, you said to come by when I was ready. I’m ready. I’m in front of your place, but I don’t see your car. Call me when you get this message.”

Okay, she hadn’t said anything bad. She was only calling to tell him that she was there, waiting for him. Jon smiled as he set down his phone. His smile vanished when he realized that he hadn’t seen her car when he’d pulled up.

“Casey,” he shouted. He walked out of the kitchen and made his way down the hall toward the guest bedroom she was staying in. “Casey,” he called through the door, rapping his knuckles against it.

“Come in.”

Her voice sounded off, and as Jon twisted the knob and pushed his way inside, he glimpsed her reflection in the mirror. She sat on the edge of the bed, her head hanging low. “Hey, what’s up? Are you okay?” As he approached her, she lifted her head and he could see by her bloodshot eyes that she had been crying. Fear gripped him. “Are Mom and Dad okay?”

Christ, if anything had happened to either of them, he’d lose his shit.

Casey waved away his question. “They’re fine,” she croaked.

Jon breathed a sigh of relief and lowered himself down beside her. He draped an arm around her shoulders and asked, “Then what’s wrong? Does this have anything to do with Mike? I can break his kneecaps if you want me to.” That earned him a small smile.

“Mike and I are fine. Mom and Dad are fine.” She sniffled.

“Then what’s going on?” Just like when they were kids, Jon turned on his big brother charm and gave her a little noogie.

“Damn it, Jon,” Casey laughed, pushing him away. She smoothed her damp hair and her shoulders slumped again.

“Come on, C, talk to me. I can’t fix it if I don’t know what needs fixing.” Jon couldn’t help but to glance at the clock sitting on the nightstand. He did a mental calculation. Patricia had called almost twenty minutes ago. He was fighting with everything in him not to run and call her back. Right now, Casey needed him.

“If I tell you,” Casey said, her big, round blue eyes lifting to meet his, “promise you won’t kill me?”

Jon bumped his shoulder against hers. “I promise not to kill you, unless you deleted my games from the DVR. Then all bets are off.”

He didn’t get the reaction out of her he was looking for. Casey dropped her head and hunched her shoulders again. Sucking in a deep breath, she lifted her hand from her lap and held it out to him.

Glancing down at it, Jon realized that it wasn’t her hand she was offering him, but what was in it. He took the small box from her outstretched palm. “What’s this? You got me a present?”

Casey shook her head and her voice trembled as she said, “A woman stopped by while you were gone.”

Dawning washed over him and Jon nodded. “Yeah, that was probably Patricia, the woman I told you about. ‘The One.’” He grinned, his eyes glued to the box now resting on his thigh. “She called to tell me she was here. Why didn’t you let her in?”

Casey met his questioning gaze and looked positively shameful. “She was here. I did ask her to come in, but, Jon…” Her voice drifted off and Jon froze, his eyes fixed on her as dread began to seep into his veins. “I think she got the wrong impression.”

“How did she get the wrong impression?” he asked, his voice dropping to a menacing whisper. He looked down at the box again, and his hands trembled as he touched the lid. What was inside?

Casey pressed her fingers to her lips and tears shed down her pale cheeks. “I was in the shower—”

“Oh Jesus.” Jon jumped off the bed and began pacing the room. Behind him, Casey spouted frantic words at him. He captured bits and pieces. She answered the door in a towel. She didn’t know who she was. Something about the box. Then she’d left, looking really upset.

“Ya think, Casey?” he shouted, throwing his hands in the air as he rounded on her. “She comes to my house and a woman she’s never met answers my door in a fucking towel, and you think she might have been upset?”

Jon stormed from the room. Casey continued sobbing and apologizing to his retreating form, but he didn’t give a damn about her apologies or hurt feelings at the moment. All Jon knew was that his woman had come for him and now she was gone. He grabbed his keys and his phone on the way out the door.