The Accidental Further Adventures of the Hundred-Year-Old Man

Sweden

When Sabine came down from her apartment the next morning, Julius was in full swing building coffins. Allan was still on his sofa, watching.

‘What is he doing?’ she asked in surprise.

‘I don’t know,’ said Allan. ‘Preparing for his departure?’

‘Good morning,’ said Julius. ‘I’m compensating you for our room and board. I’ve always been good at carpentry. Did I mention that? Shouldn’t we go ahead and varnish the coffins as well? That might increase sales.’

‘From nothing to almost nothing?’ said Sabine. ‘Did you have time to grab some breakfast from the shop?’

They hadn’t dared. But Julius felt that if they were allowed to stay in the guest room and the carpentry shop for a few more days, he would be happy to open up each morning. That way Sabine could sleep in. Perhaps she didn’t often get the chance?

She responded that this was an offer worth considering, but that sort of decision shouldn’t be made on an empty stomach. ‘Come on, let’s eat.’

Breakfast consisted of a roll with cheese, juice, and coffee from the machine. Meanwhile the shop received four whole morning customers, each of whom made a small purchase. Julius seemed to be something of a lucky charm. And he proved that he could handle the cash register.

‘Fifty-eight kronor, please. Thanks. Two kronor change. Have a nice day.’

Sabine thought the fake diplomat seemed like a better sort than you would have expected at first. And so far his labour wasn’t expensive. Altogether, the cost ran to a box of bandages, a few cups of coffee, a bun, a roll, three decilitres of juice, and one or perhaps two ibuprofens. The one called Allan wasn’t quite as useful, but then again he was even cheaper.

So there were objectively good reasons to let the old men stay. Beyond the fact that she enjoyed their company.

‘Of course you can stay here for a while,’ she said. ‘But don’t build too many coffins – that will only drive up the cost of storage.’