The Accidental Further Adventures of the Hundred-Year-Old Man

Sweden

Journalist Bella Hansson with Eskilstuna-Kuriren wanted readers. What was the point of her job, otherwise? To realize this goal on a day like today meant delivering something terrorist-related. People didn’t want to read about anything else anyway.

She browsed through the incident reports from the police. A bar fight from the day before? No. Alleged maltreatment of animals on a farm? Upsetting just about any other day of the year, but not this one.

Nor was it possible to make terrorism out of two cars that had backed into each other in the car park outside a department store, even if one of the drivers was Muslim.

But perhaps here was something.

A hearse had been searched just a few hours after the attack in Stockholm. No measures taken, case closed.

But there had been an interrogation.

Why?

In Sweden there’s something called the principle of public access. It means that everything a public official does, writes, says and almost thinks must promptly be reported to any citizen who wishes to know. Citizens in general seldom go to the trouble. But journalists are a different matter.

The pockmarked lead interrogator-slash-Inspector Holmlund was on his way home after a long day – a Saturday, to boot – but had the misfortune of running into young reporter Bella Hansson at the door. With an inaudible sigh he invited her into the office.

He was far too experienced to lie to the reporter’s face. However, he did elect to leave out parts of the truth. In doing so he imagined she would lose interest in the story and he would be spared extra work with troublesome follow-up questions.

The truth was, then, that a car transporting a coffin had been stopped at a routine checkpoint, and an interrogation had been held. No, the coffin had not contained any deceased person: the inspectors had ascertained this on site. But at least one of the people had been unbelted.

‘You brought in an undertaker for questioning because he or she wasn’t wearing a seatbelt?’ Bella Hansson asked.

The fact was, they weren’t undertakers but coffin manufacturers, yet Holmlund opted not to correct the reporter. ‘It’s been a very special day, as you know.’

Bella Hansson gave Inspector Holmlund a sceptical look. ‘Where did the interrogation lead? Were you in charge of it?’

‘Yes, I was. Honestly it led to nothing but a talking-to from me to the man who’d neglected to use a seatbelt.’

Of course, it wouldn’t be possible to turn this story into terrorism either, but after Bella had asked a few more questions, and received answers, she changed perspective. She’d had an idea that felt even better. The article she’d almost finished composing in her mind was really too good to be put online. The problem was that the physical copy of the paper didn’t come out on Sundays.

Online it would be. But Bella sat on her story until the next morning so it would remain at the top of the news feed for as long as possible. In the new world, it was important to amass clicks.