The Accidental Further Adventures of the Hundred-Year-Old Man

Sweden

Margot Wallström had not yet lost her job, and much suggested that things would stay that way. But that didn’t stop her being in a state of inner turmoil.

The Nazi in Rosengård, whom Allan Karlsson had promised to keep alive, had indirectly taken his own life during a confrontation with the police near Copenhagen’s international airport a few hours later. One couldn’t blame Karlsson for that. Or could one? After all, the entire airport circus had started when he (or whoever was driving) had parked his hearse on the pavement outside the main entrance to the departures hall. Anyone should understand what that could lead to.

The minister for foreign affairs had made sure to stay abreast of the police’s supplementary work. And now the investigation was complete. With the help of security cameras and general piecing together, it was clear that Sabine Jonsson was the main suspect in the crime. Karlsson and Jonsson might potentially be defined as accessories, but since the somewhat lazy prosecutor had been satisfied with the criminal charge of ‘parking in a no-parking zone’, there was nothing to slap the two men with. Sabine Jonsson, however, could expect to receive a fine of seven thousand Danish kroner.

In any case, it felt like a good thing that the trio had left the country. How it felt that the Nazi had departed this earth was something the minister tried not to think about. In her position, you didn’t wish death upon others.

She was on her way to see the prime minister for an analysis of the result of the previous day’s parliamentary election in Germany. This meant that Karlsson wouldn’t haunt her for at least a few hours, and that, if anything, felt good.

‘Hi, Margot, have a seat,’ said Prime Minister Löfven.

Both agreed that the German election results were not as positive as one might have hoped. At the last second, the ultra-right had won increased support even as the Social Democrats didn’t deliver at all – both facts were worrying.

Margot Wallström’s analysis of why the outcome was worse for the sensible powers than one might have expected and hoped was very down-to-earth: Hurricane Irma’s advance in the days leading up to the election. It had laid waste to Puerto Rico and appeared for quite some time to pose a deadly threat to Florida. During this week of drama, Donald Trump hadn’t uttered a single new stupid remark. What was more, the media had other things to focus on than his previous and typically ongoing idiocy. For a limited time – but a crucial one, for the German election – he didn’t appear to be the clear opposite to Angela Merkel he de facto was. The general public had a good, but short, memory. When Trump temporarily wasn’t seen as a guarantee of a less secure world, Merkel lost important percentage points that were then plucked up by the president’s cousins on the far right.

The prime minister was surprised at the minister for foreign affairs’ candour. Her analysis was unusual but perfectly reasonable.

Thus he decided to call Chancellor Merkel to congratulate her, although her parliamentary situation would be troublesome. ‘Do stay, Margot. The chancellor and I have no secrets from you.’

Ten minutes later, the call was put through. Prime Minister Löfven congratulated both the chancellor and Europe in general. The stability represented by Madame Chancellor was good for all.

The chancellor thanked him. She had already accepted a dozen or so calls of congratulation from leaders all over the world. This was one of many – and yet it wasn’t. Allan Karlsson, who had played such a major role in her life of late, was, of course, Swedish.

The prime minister had the speakerphone on. As a result, the minister for foreign affairs could hear. What she heard was sensational.

‘Thanks again, Prime Minister,’ said Chancellor Merkel. ‘Let me take this opportunity to send a greeting to the Swedish citizen Allan Karlsson, who did such an exemplary job at avoiding giving help to Kim Jong-un in what he shouldn’t have help with.’

The prime minister was surprised by this turn in the conversation, but no more than that. Margot Wallström still hadn’t found the right time to tell him about her further adventures with Karlsson, post New York.

‘I’ll do that,’ said the prime minister. ‘Is there any particular message you’d like me to pass on?’

Angela Merkel was in a good mood after her victory. The enormous issues she would confront in building a government hadn’t completely dawned on her yet. ‘Oh, tell him he’s welcome to visit me if he ever happens to be in Berlin. I’d be happy to share some cabbage soup.’

Minister for Foreign Affairs Wallström couldn’t believe her ears. Was Allan ‘What-the-Hell-Has-He-Done-This-Time’ Karlsson friends with the Chancellor of Germany?

When the conversation was over, she turned to her prime minister. ‘I think I’ll go home. It’s been a long day.’