The Ice Child

UDDEVALLA 1974

The border began to blur between what was normal and what was not. Laila saw it happening but every once in a while she couldn’t resist the temptation to bow to Vladek’s will. She knew it wasn’t right, but sometimes she just wanted to pretend for a while that they were living an ordinary life.

They continued to be spellbound by Vladek’s stories, which blended the commonplace with the extraordinary, the horrifying with the amazing. They would often gather around the kitchen table with only a small lamp turned on in the room. Sitting in the dim light they would all be drawn into his tales. They could hear the sound of the audience applauding; they saw the tightrope walkers swaying high overhead; they laughed at the clowns and their antics; and they were captivated by the circus princess who, with grace and strength, balanced on the back of the horse racing around the ring, adorned with plumes and spangles. But most of all they saw Vladek and the lions in the circus ring. The way he stood there, strong and proud, wielding power over the wild beasts. Not because of the whip in his hand, as the audience thought, but because the lions respected and loved him. They trusted him and so they obeyed.

His best trick, his grand finale, was when he seemed to defy death by putting his head inside the maw of one of the lions. At that moment a hush came over the audience. They could hardly believe what they were seeing. The trick with the dimming of the lights was also very effective. When the lights went out in the circus ring, the spectators grew uneasy as they imagined the wild animals somewhere in front of them, animals that could see in the dark and might be eyeing them as prey. Then all the audience members would fearfully grab the hand of the person seated next to them. Suddenly, out of the darkness, fiery rings would appear, with flames shooting out hypnotically. And the lions would ignore their fear of fire and gracefully jump through the hoops because they put such trust in the person who had tamed them and who was now asking them to perform this trick.

As Laila sat there listening, she longed for something that might dispel her own darkness. She yearned to trust in someone again.