375 Jerusalem Athens Alexandria Vienna London Unreal
4. Cf. Ecclesiastes' prophecy "the grasshopper of their strength, had the constant delusion that shall be a burden, and desire shall fail." Cf. also there was one more member than could actually be line 23 and its note. counted [Eliot's note]. This reminiscence is asso5. This is Tiirdus aonalaschkae pallasii, the her-ciated with Jesus' unrecognized presence on the mit-thrush which I have heard in Quebec County. way to Emmaus. Chapman says (Handbook of Birds of Eastern North 7. Eliot's note for lines 367�77 is: "Cf. Herman America) "it is most at home in secluded woodland Hesse, Blick ins Chaos ["A Glimpse into Chaos"]." and thickety retreats. .. . Its notes are not remark-The note then quotes a passage from the German able for variety or volume, but in purity and sweet-text, which is translated: "Already half of Europe, ness of tone and exquisite modulation they are already at least half of Eastern Europe, on the way unequaled." Its "water-dripping song" is justly cel-to Chaos, drives drunk in sacred infatuation along ebrated [Eliot's note]. the edge of the precipice, sings drunkenly, as 6. The following lines were stimulated by the though hymn singing, as Dmitri Karamazov [in account of one of the Antarctic expeditions (I for-Dostoyevsky's Brothers Karamazov] sang. The get which, but 1 think one of Shackleton's): it was offended bourgeois laughs at the songs; the saint related that the party of explorers, at the extremity and the seer hear them with tears."
.
THE WASTE LAND / 2307
A woman drew her long black hair out tight And fiddled whisper music on those strings
380 And bats with baby faces in the violet light Whistled, and beat their wings And crawled head downward down a blackened wall And upside down in air were towers Tolling reminiscent bells, that kept the hours
385 And voices singing out of empty cisterns and exhausted wells.
In this decayed hole among the mountains In the faint moonlight, the grass is singing Over the tumbled graves, about the chapel There is the empty chapel, only the wind's home.8
390 It has no windows, and the door swings, Dry bones can harm no one. Only a cock stood on the rooftree Co co rico co co rico9 In a flash of lightning. Then a damp gust
395 Bringing rain
Ganga1 was sunken, and the limp leaves Waited for rain, while the black clouds Gathered far distant, over Himavant.2 The jungle crouched, humped in silence.
400 Then spoke the thunder
DA 3
Datta: what have we given? My friend, blood shaking my heart The awful daring of a moment's surrender
405 Which an age of prudence can never retract By this, and this only, we have existed Which is not to be found in our obituaries Or in memories draped by the beneficent spider4 Or under seals broken by the lean solicitor0 lawyer
410 In our empty rooms
DA
Dayadhvam: I have heard the key5
8. Suggesting the moment of near despair before demons, naturally cruel, as "Be compassionate" the Chapel Perilous, when the questing knight (Dayadhvam); "That very thing is repeated even sees nothing there but decay. This illusion of noth-today by the heavenly voice, in the form of thunder ingness is the knight's final test. as 'DA' 'DA' 'DA,' which means 'Control your
9. The crowing of the cock signals the departure selves,' 'Give,' and 'Have compassion.' Therefore of ghosts and evil spirits. Cf. Hamlet 1.1.157ff. In one should practice these three things: self- Matthew 26.34 and 74 the cock crows after Peter control, giving, and mercy." The Upanishads are betrays Jesus three times. ancient philosophical dialogues in Sanskrit. They
1. Sanskrit name for the major sacred river in are primary texts for an early form of Hinduism India. sometimes called Brahminism. 2. I.e., snowy mountain (Sanskrit); usually applied 4. Cf. Webster, The White Devil, V, vi: . . they'll to the Himalayas. remarry / Ere the worm pierce your winding-sheet, 3. Datta, dayadhvam, damyata (Give, sympathize, ere the spider / Make a thin curtain for your epicontrol). The fable of the meaning of the Thunder taphs" [Eliot's note]. is found in the Brihadaranyaka�Upanishad, 5, 1. 5. Cf. Inferno, XXXIII, 46 [Eliot's note]. In this A translation is found in Deussen's Sechzig Upan-passage from the Inferno Ugolino recalls his ishads des Veda, p. 489 [Eliot's note]. In the Old imprisonment in the tower with his children, Indian fable The Three Great Disciplines, the Cre-where they starved to death: "And I heard below ator God Prajapati utters the enigmatic syllable DA the door of the horrible tower being nailed shut." to three groups. Lesser gods, naturally unruly, Eliot's note for this line goes on to quote F. H. interpret it as "Control yourselves" (Damyata)-, Bradley, Appearance and Reality, p. 346: " 'My humans, naturally greedy, as "Give" (Datta)-, external sensations are no less private to myself
.
230 8 / T . S . ELIO T 415Turn in the door once and turn once only We think of the key, each in his prison Thinking of the key, each confirms a prison Only at nightfall, sethereal rumours Revive for a moment a broken Coriolanus6 420D A Damyata: The boat responded Gaily, to the hand expert with sail and oar The sea was calm, your heart would have responded Gaily, when invited, beating obedient To controlling hands 425I sat upon the shore Fishing,7 with the arid plain behind me Shall I at least set my lands in order?8 430London Bridge is falling down falling down falling down9 Poi s'ascose nel foco che gli affma] Ouando fiam uti chelidon2�O swallow swallow3 Le Prince d'Aquitaine a la tour abolieA These fragments I have shored against my ruins Why then lie fit you. Hieronymo's mad againe.' Datta. Dayadhvam. Damyata. Shantih shantih shantih'' 1921 1922
than are my thoughts or my feelings. In either case my experience falls within my own circle, a circle closed on the outside; and, with all its elements alike, every sphere is opaque to the others which surround it. .. . In brief, regarded as an existence which appears in a soul, the whole world for each is peculiar and private to that soul.' " Eliot wrote his doctoral thesis on Bradley's philosophy.
6. Coriolanus, who acted out of pride rather than duty, exemplifies a man locked in the prison of himself. He led the enemy against his native city out of injured pride (cf. Shakespeare's Coriolanus). 7. V. Weston: From Ritual to Romance; chapter on the Fisher King [Eliot's note]. 8. Cf. Isaiah 38.1: "Thus saith the Lord, Set thine house in order, for thou shalt die, and not live." 9. One of the later lines of this nursery rhyme is "Take the kev and lock her up, my fair lady." 1. V. Purgatorio, XXVI, 148 [Eliot's note]. The note goes on to quote lines 145�148 of the Purgatorio, in which the Provencal poet Arnaut Daniel addresses Dante: " 'Now I pray you, by that virtue which guides you to the summit of the stairway, be mindful in due time of my pain.' " Then (in the line Eliot quotes here) "he hid himself in the fire which refines them." 2. V. Pervigilium Veneris. Cf. Philomela in parts II and III [Eliot's note]. The Latin phrase in the text, originally misquoting uti as ceu, means, "When shall I be as the swallow?" It comes from the late Latin poem "Pewigiliuni Veneris" ("Vigil of Venus"), "When will my spring come? When shall I be as the swallow that I may cease to be silent? I have lost the Muse in silence, and Apollo regards me not."
3. Cf. A. C. Swinburne's "Itylus," which begins, "Swallow, my sister, O sister swallow, / How can thine heart be full of spring?" and Tennyson's lyric in The Princess: "O Swallow, Swallow, flying, flying south." 4. V. Gerard de Nerval, Sonnet El Desdichado [Eliot's note]. The French line may be translated: "The Prince of Aquitaine in the ruined tower." One of the cards in the Tarot pack is "the tower struck by lightning." 5. V. Kyd's Spanish Tragedy [Eliot's note]. Subtitled Hieronymo's Mad Againe, Kyd's play (1594) is an early example of the Elizabethan tragedy of revenge. Hieronymo, driven mad by the murder of his son, has his revenge when he is asked to write a court entertainment. He replies, "Why then lie fit you!" (i.e., accommodate you), and assigns the parts in the entertainment so that, in the course of the action, his son's murderers are killed. 6. Shantih. Repeated as here, a formal ending to an Upanishad. "The Peace which passeth understanding" is a feeble translation of the content of this word [Eliot's note]. On the Upanishads see the note to line 401 above.
.
THE HOLLOW MEN / 2309
The Hollow Men
Mistah Kurtz�he dead.1 A penny for the Old Guy2
I
We are the hollow men We are the stuffed men Leaning together Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
; Our dried voices, when We whisper together Are quiet and meaningless As wind in dry glass Or rats' feet over broken glass
10 In our dry cellar3
Shape without form, shade without colour, Paralysed force, gesture without motion;
Those who have crossed With direct eyes, to death's other Kingdom
15 Remember us�if at all�not as lost Violent souls, but only As the hollow men The stuffed men.
II
Eyes I dare not meet in dreams
20 In death's dream kingdom4 These do not appear: There, the eyes are Sunlight on a broken column There, is a tree swinging
25 And voices are In the wind's singing More distant and more solemn Than a fading star.
Let me be no nearer
30 In death's dream kingdom Let me also wear Such deliberate disguises Rat's coat, crowskin, crossed staves
1. From Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness (see p. 1941). 2. Every year on Nov. 5, British children build bonfires, on which thev burn a scarecrow effigy of the traitor Guido [Guy] Fawkes, who in 1605 attempted to blow up the Parliament buildings. For some days before this, they ask people in the streets for pennies with which to buy fireworks.
3. Cf. The Waste Land, lines 115 and 195. 4. At the end of Dante's Purgatorio and in Paradiso 4, he cannot meet the gaze of Beatrice (see Eliot's 1929 essay "Dante").
.
231 0 / T . S . ELIO T 35In a field5 Behaving as the wind behaves No nearer-� Not that final meeting In the twilight kingdom6 III 40This is the dead land This is cactus land Here the stone images7 Are raised, here they receive The supplication of a dead man's hand Under the twinkle of a fading star. 45so Is it like this In death's other kingdom Waking alone At the hour when we are Trembling with tenderness Lips that would kiss Form prayers to broken stone. IV 55The eyes are not here There are no eyes here In this valley of dying stars In this hollow valley This broken jaw of our lost kingdoms 60In this last of meeting places We grope together And avoid speech Gathered on this beach of the tumid river8 65Sightless, unless The eyes reappear As the perpetual star Multifoliate rose9 Of death's twilight kingdom The hope only Of empty men.
5. The traditional British scarecrow is made from two sticks tied in the form of a cross (the vertical one stuck in the ground), dressed in cast-off clothes, and sometimes draped with dead vermin. 6. Perhaps a reference to Dante's meeting with Beatrice after he has crossed the river Lethe. There reminded of his sins, he is allowed to proceed to Paradise (Purgatorio 30).
7. Cf. The Waste Land, line 22. 8. Dante's Acheron, which encircles hell, and the Congo of Conrad's Heart of Darkness. 9. The image of heaven in Dante's Paradiso 32.
.
TH E HOLLO W ME N / 231 1 V 70Here we go round the prickly pear Prickly pear prickly pear Here we go round the prickly pear At five o'clock in the morning.1 75Between the idea And the reality Between the motion And the act2 Falls the Shadow3 For Thine is the Kingdom4 soBetween the conception And the creation Between the emotion And the response Falls the Shadow Life is very long 8590Between the desire And the spasm Between the potency And the existence Between the essence And the descent Falls the Shadow For Thine is the Kingdom For Thine is Life is For Thine is the 95 This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends Not with a bang hut a whimper. 1924-25 1925
1. Parodic version of the children's rhyme ending "Here we go round the mulberry bush / On a cold and frosty morning." 2. Cf. Shakespeare's Julius Caesar 2.1.63�5: "Between the acting of a dreadful thing / And the first motion, all the interim is / Like a phantasma or a hideous dream."
3. Cf. Ernest Dowson's "Now sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae," lines 1�2: "Last night, ah, yesternight, betwixt her lips and mine / There fell thy shadow, Cynara!" 4. Cf. The Lord's Prayer.
.
2312 / T. S. ELIOT
Journey of the Magi1
'A cold coming we had of it, Just the worst time of the year For a journey, and such a long journey: The ways deep and the weather sharp,
The very dead of winter.'2 And the camels galled, sore-footed, refractory, Lying down in the melting snow. There were times we regretted The summer palaces on slopes, the terraces,
10 And the silken girls bringing sherbet. Then the camel men cursing and grumbling And running away, and wanting their liquor and women, And the night-fires going out, and the lack of shelters, And the cities hostile and the towns unfriendly
is And the villages dirty and charging high prices: A hard time we had of it. At the end we preferred to travel all night, Sleeping in snatches, With the voices singing in our ears, saying
20 That this was all folly.
Then at dawn we came down to a temperate valley, Wet, below the snow line, smelling of vegetation; With a running stream and a water mill beating the darkness, And three trees on the low sky.'
25 And an old white horse galloped away in the meadow. Then we came to a tavern with vine-leaves over the lintel, Six hands at an open door dicing for pieces of silver, And feet kicking the empty wine-skins. But there was no information, and so we continued
30 And arrived at evening, not a moment too soon Finding the place; it was (you may say) satisfactory.
All this was a long time ago, I remember, And I would do it again, but set down This set down
35 This: were we led all that way for Birth or Death? There was a Birth, certainly, We had evidence and no doubt. I had seen birth and death, But had thought they were different; this Birth was Hard and bitter agony for us, like Death, our death.
40 We returned to our places, these Kingdoms, But no longer at ease here, in the old dispensation,
1. One of the wise men who came from the east weather sharp, the days short, the sun farthest off, to Jerusalem to do homage to the infant Jesus in solstitio bmmali, 'the very dead of winter." " (Matthew 2.1�12) is recalling in old age the mean-3. The "three trees" suggest the three crosses, with ing of the experience. Jesus crucified on the center one; the men "dicing 2. Adapted from a passage in a 1622 Christmas for pieces of silver" (line 27) suggest the soldiers sermon by Bishop Lancelot Andrewes: "A cold dicing for Jesus' garments and Judas's betrayal of coming they had of it at this time of the year, just him for thirty pieces of silver; the empty wineskins the worst time of the year to take a journey, and recall one of Jesus' parables of old and new (Mark specially a long journey in. The ways deep, the 2.22).
.
LITTL E GIDDIN G / 231 3 With an alien people clutching their gods. I should be glad of another death. 1927
FROM FOUR QUARTETS
Little Gidding1
I
Midwinter spring is its own season Sempiternal0 though sodden towards sundown, eternal, everlasting Suspended in time, between pole and tropic, When the short day is brightest, with frost and fire,
5 The brief sun flames the ice, on pond and ditches, In windless cold that is the heart's heat, Reflecting in a watery mirror A glare that is blindness in the early afternoon. And glow more intense than blaze of branch, or brazier,
10 Stirs the dumb spirit: no wind, but pentecostal fire2 In the dark time of the year. Between melting and freezing The soul's sap quivers. There is no earth smell Or smell of living thing. This is the springtime But not in time's covenant. Now the hedgerow
i5 Is blanched for an hour with transitory blossom Of snow, a bloom more sudden Than that of summer, neither budding nor fading, Not in the scheme of generation. Where is the summer, the unimaginable Zero summer?
20 If you came this way, Taking the route you would be likely to take From the place you would be likely to come from, If you came this way in may time, you would find the hedges White again, in May, with voluptuary sweetness.
25 It would be the same at the end of the journey, If you came at night like a broken king,1
1. This is the last of Eliot's Four Quartets, four community was broken up in 1647, toward the end related poems each divided into five "movements" of the English Civil War, by the victorious Puriin a manner reminiscent of the structure of a quar-tans; the chapel, however, was rebuilt in the 19th tet or a sonata and each dealing with some aspect century and still exists. Eliot WTOte the poem in of the relation of time and eternity, the meaning 1942, when he was taking his turn as a nighttime of history, the achievement of the moment of time-fire-watcher during the incendiary bombings of less insight. Although the Four Quartets constitute London in World War II. a unified sequence, they were each written sepa-2. On the Pentecost day after the death and resrately and can be read as individual poems. "Little urrection of Jesus, there appeared to his apostles Gidding can be understood by itself, without ref-"cloven tongues like as of fire . . . And they were erence to the preceding poems, which it yet so all filled with the Holy Ghost" (Acts 2). beautifully completes" (Helen Gardner, The Com-3. King Charles I visited Ferrar's communitymore position of Four Quartets). Each of the four is than once and is said to have paid his last visit in named after a place. Little Gidding is a village in secret after his final defeat at the battle of Naseby Huntingdonshire where in 1625 Nicholas Ferrar in the civil war. established an Anglican religious community; the
.
2314 / T. S. ELIOT
If you came by day not knowing what you came for, It would be the same, when you leave the rough road And turn behind the pig-sty to the dull facade
30 And the tombstone. And what you thought you came for Is only a shell, a husk of meaning From which the purpose breaks only when it is fulfilled If at all. Either you had no purpose Or the purpose is beyond the end you figured
35 And is altered in fulfilment. There are other places Which also are the world's end, some at the sea jaws, Or over a dark lake, in a desert or a city1� But this is the nearest, in place and time, Now and in England.
If you came this way,
40 Taking any route, starting from anywhere, At any time or at any season, It would always be the same: you would have to put off Sense and notion. You are not here to verify, Instruct yourself, or inform curiosity
45 Or carry report. You are here to kneel Where prayer has been valid. And prayer is more Than an order of words, the conscious occupation Of the praying mind, or the sound of the voice praying. And what the dead had no speech for, when living,
50 They can tell you, being dead: the communication Of the dead is tongued with fire beyond the language of the living. Here, the intersection of the timeless moment Is England and nowhere. Never and always.
II
Ash on an old man's sleeve
55 Is all the ash the burnt roses leave. Dust in the air suspended Marks the place where a story ended.5 Dust inbreathed was a house� The wall, the wainscot, and the mouse.
60 The death of hope and despair, This is the death of air/'
There are flood and drouth Over the eyes and in the mouth, Dead water and dead sand
4. "The 'sea jaws' [Eliot] associated with lona and St. Columba and with Lindisfarne and St. Cuthbert: the 'dark lake' with the lake of Glendalough and St. Kevin's hermitage in County Wicldow: the desert with the hermits of the Thebaid and St. Antony: the city with Padua and the other St. Antony" (Gardner). 5. Eliot wrote to a friend: "During the Blitz [bombing] the accumulated debris was suspended in the London air for hours after a bombing. Then it would slowly descend and cover one's sleeves and coat with a fine white ash."
6. "The death of air," like that of "earth" and of "water and fire" in the succeeding stanzas, recalls the theory of the creative strife of the four elements propounded by Heraclitus (Greek philosopher of 4th and 5th centuries B.C.E.): "Fire lives in the death of air; water lives in the death of earth; and earth lives in the death of water."
.
LITTLE GIDDING
65 Contending for the upper hand. The parched eviscerate soil Gapes at the vanity of toil, Laughs without mirth.
This is the death of earth.
70 Water and fire succeed The town, the pasture, and the weed. Water and fire deride The sacrifice that we denied. Water and fire shall rot
75 The marred foundations we forgot, Of sanctuary and choir. This is the death of water and fire.
In the uncertain hour before the morning7 Near the ending of interminable night 80 At the recurrent end of the unending
After the dark dove with the flickering tongue" Had passed below the horizon of his homing While the dead leaves still rattled on like tin
Over the asphalt where no other sound was 85 Between three districts whence the smoke arose I met one walking, loitering and hurried
As if blown towards me like the metal leaves Before the urban dawn wind unresisting. And as I fixed upon the down-turned face
90 That pointed scrutiny with which we challenge The first-met stranger in the waning dusk I caught the sudden look of some dead master
Whom I had known, forgotten, half recalled Both one and many; in the brown baked features 95 The eyes of a familiar compound ghost9
Both intimate and unidentifiable. So I assumed a double part, and cried And heard another's voice cry: 'What! are you here?'
Although we were not. I was still the same, 100 Knowing myself yet being someone other� And he a face still forming; yet the words sufficed
To compel the recognition they preceded. And so, compliant to the common wind, Too strange to each other for misunderstanding,
105 In concord at this intersection time Of meeting nowhere, no before and after, We trod the pavement in a dead patrol.
I said: 'The wonder that I feel is easy, Yet ease is cause of wonder. Therefore speak:
/ 2315
7. The pattern of indentation in the left margin of lines 78�149, their movement and elevated diction, are meant to suggest the terza rima of Dante's Divine Comedy.
8. The German dive bomber. 9. This encounter with a ghost "compounded" of W. B. Yeats and his fellow Irishman Jonathan Swift is modeled on Dante's meeting with Brunetto Latini (Inferno 15), including a direct translation (line 98) of Dante's cry of horrified recognition: "Siete voi qui, ser Brunetto?" Cf. also Shakespeare's sonnet 86, line 9: "that affable familiar ghost."
.
2316 / T. S. ELIOT
no I may not comprehend, may not remember.'
And he: 'I am not eager to rehearse My thought and theory which you have forgotten. These things have served their purpose: let them be.
So with your own, and pray they be forgiven 115 By others, as I pray you to forgive Both bad and good. Last season's fruit is eaten
And the fullfed beast shall kick the empty pail. For last year's words belong to last year's language And next year's words await another voice.
120 But, as the passage now presents no hindrance To the spirit unappeased and peregrine" foreign, wandering Between two worlds become much like each other,
So I find words I never thought to speak In streets I never thought I should revisit 125 When I left my body on a distant shore.1
Since our concern was speech, and speech impelled us To purify the dialect of the tribe2 And urge the mind to aftersight and foresight,
Let me disclose the gifts reserved for age BO To set a crown upon your lifetime's effort. First, the cold friction of expiring sense
Without enchantment, offering no promise But bitter tastelessness of shadow fruit As body and soul begin to fall asunder.
135 Second, the conscious impotence of rage3 At human folly, and the laceration Of laughter at what ceases to amuse.4
And last, the rending pain of re-enactment Of all that you have done, and been;5 the shame MO Of motives late revealed, and the awareness Of things ill done and done to others' harm Which once you took for exercise of virtue. Then fools' approval stings, and honour stains. From wrong to wrong the exasperated spirit 145 Proceeds, unless restored by that refining fire6 Where you must move in measure, like a dancer.'7
The day was breaking. In the disfigured street He left me, with a kind of valediction, And faded on the blowing of the horn.8
]. Yeats died on Jan. 28, 1939, at Roquebrune in the south of France.
2. A rendering of the line "Donner tin setts plus pur aux mots de la tribu" in Stephane Mallarme's 1877 sonnet "Le Tombeau d'Edgar Poe" ("The Tomb of Edgar Poe"). 3. Cf. Yeats's "The Spur": "You think it horrible that lust and rage / Should dance attention upon my old age." 4. Cf. Yeats's "Swift's Epitaph" (translated from Swift's own Latin): "Savage indignation there / Cannot lacerate his breast." 5. Cf. Yeats's "Man and the Echo": "All that 1 have said and done, / Now that 1 am old and ill, / Turns into a question till / I lie awake night after night / And never get the answer right. / Did that play of mine send out / Certain men the English shot?" 6. Cf. The Waste Land, line 428 and its note; also the refining fire in Yeats's "Byzantium," lines 25� 32. 7. Cf. Yeats's "Among School Children," line 64: "How can we know the dancer from the dance?" 8. Cf.Hamlet 1.2.157: "It faded on the crowing of the cock." The horn is the all-clear signal after an air raid (the dialogue has taken place between the dropping of the last bomb and the sounding of the all clear). Eliot called the section that ends with this line "the nearest equivalent to a canto of the Inferno or Ptirgatorio" that he could achieve and spoke of his intention to present "a parallel, by means of contrast, between the Inferno and the Purgatorio . . . and a hallucinated scene after an air raid."
.
LITTLE GIDDING / 231 7
III
150 There are three conditions which often look alike Yet differ completely, flourish in the same hedgerow: Attachment to self and to things and to persons, detachment From self and from things and from persons; and, growing between
them, indifference Which resembles the others as death resembles life,
155 Being between two lives�unflowering, between The live and the dead nettle.9 This is the use of memory: For liberation�not less of love but expanding Of love beyond desire, and so liberation From the future as well as the past. Thus, love of a country
160 Begins as attachment to our own field of action And comes to find that action of little importance Though never indifferent. History may be servitude, History may be freedom. See, now they vanish, The faces and places, with the self which, as it could, loved them,
165 To become renewed, transfigured, in another pattern.
Sin is Behovely, but All shall be well, and All manner of thing shall be well.1 If I think, again, of this place,
170 And of people, not wholly commendable, Of no immediate kin or kindness, But some of peculiar genius, All touched by a common genius, United in the strife which divided them;
175 If I think of a king at nightfall,2 Of three men, and more, on the scaffold And a few who died forgotten In other places, here and abroad, And of one who died blind and quiet3
iso Why should we celebrate These dead men more than the dying? It is not to ring the bell backward Nor is it an incantation To summon the spectre of a Rose.
185 We cannot revive old factions We cannot restore old policies Or follow an antique drum. These men, and those who opposed them And those whom they opposed
190 Accept the constitution of silence And are folded in a single party.
9. Eliot wrote to a friend: "The dead nettle is the family of flowering plants of which the White Archangel is one of the commonest and closely resembles the stinging nettle and is found in its company." 1. A quotation from the 14th-century English mystic Dame Julian of Norwich: "Sin is behovabil [inevitable and fitting], but all shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well."
2. I.e., Charles I. He died "on the scaffold" in 1649, while his principal advisers, Archbishop Laud and Thomas Wentworth, earl of Strafford, were both executed earlier by the victorious parliamentary forces. 3. I.e., Milton, who sided with Cromwell against the king.
.
2318 / T. S. ELIOT
Whatever we inherit from the fortunate We have taken from the defeated What they had to leave us�a symbol:
195 A symbol perfected in death. And all shall be well and All manner of thing shall be well By the purification of the motive In the ground of our beseeching.4
IV
200 The dove' descending breaks the air With flame of incandescent terror Of which the tongues declare The one discharge from sin and error. The only hope, or else despair
205 Lies in the choice of pyre or pyre� To be redeemed from fire by fire.
Who then devised the torment? Love. Love is the unfamiliar Name Behind the hands that wove
210 The intolerable shirt of flame6
Which human power cannot remove. We only live, only suspire0 breathe, sigh Consumed by either fire or fire.
V
What we call the beginning is often the end
215 And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from. And every phrase And sentence that is right (where every word is at home, Taking its place to support the others, The word neither diffident nor ostentatious,
220 And easy commerce of the old and the new, The common word exact without vulgarity, The formal word precise but not pedantic, The complete consort7 dancing together) Every phrase and every sentence is an end and a beginning,
225 Every poem an epitaph. And any action Is a step to the block, to the fire, down the sea's throat Or to an illegible stone: and that is where we start. We die with the dying: See, they depart, and we go with them.
230 We are born with the dead: See, they return, and bring us with them. The moment of the rose and the moment of the yew-tree8
4. Dame Julian of Norwich was instructed in a been told that it would increase his love for her, vision that "the ground of our beseeching" is love. but instead it so corroded his flesh that in his agony 5. Both a dive bomber and the Holy Spirit with its he mounted a funeral pyre and burned himself to Pentecostal tongues of fire. death. 6. Out of love for her husband, Hercules, Deianira 7. Company; also harmony of sounds. gave him the poisoned shirt of Nessus. She had 8. Traditional symbol of death and grief.
.
TRADITION AND THE INDIVIDUAL TALENT / 231 9
Are of equal duration. A people without history Is not redeemed from time, for history is a pattern
235 Of timeless moments. So, while the light fails On a winter's afternoon, in a secluded chapel History is now and England.
With the drawing of this Love and the voice of this Calling9
We shall not cease from exploration
240 And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time. Through the unknown, remembered gate When the last of earth left to discover
245 Is that which was the beginning; At the source of the longest river The voice of the hidden waterfall And the children in the apple tree Not known, because not looked for
250 But heard, half-heard, in the stillness Between two waves of the sea.1 Quick now, here, now, always� A condition of complete simplicity (Costing not less than everything)
255 And all shall be well and All manner of thing shall be well When the tongues of flame are in-folded Into the crowned knot of fire And the fire and the rose are one.
1942 1942,1943
Tradition and the Individual Talent'
I
In English writing we seldom speak of tradition, though we occasionally apply its name in deploring its absence. We cannot refer to 'the tradition' or to 'a tradition'; at most, we employ the adjective in saying that the poetry of So-and-so is 'traditional' or even 'too traditional.' Seldom, perhaps, does the word appear except in a phrase of censure. If otherwise, it is vaguely approbative, with the implication, as to the work approved, of some pleasing archaeological reconstruction. You can hardly make the word agreeable to English ears without this comfortable reference to the reassuring science of archaeology.
Certainly the word is not likely to appear in our appreciations of living or dead writers. Every nation, every race, has not only its own creative, but its
9. This line is from the Cloud of Unknowing, an garden has a like meaning: "Sudden in a shaft of anonymous 14th-century mystical work. sunlight / Even while the dust moves / There rises 1. The voices of the children in the apple tree sym-the hidden laughter / Of children in the foliage / bolize the sudden moment of insight. Cf. the con-Quick now, here, now, always." clusion to "Burnt Norton" (the first of the Four 1. First published in The Egoist magazine (1919) Quartets), where the laughter of the children in the and later collected in Tl le Sacred Wood (1920).
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own critical turn of mind; and is even more oblivious of the shortcomings and limitations of its critical habits than of those of its creative genius. We know, or think we know, from the enormous mass of critical writing that has appeared in the French language the critical method or habit of the French; we only conclude (we are such unconscious people) that the French are 'more critical' than we, and sometimes even plume ourselves a little with the fact, as if the French were the less spontaneous. Perhaps they are; but we might remind ourselves that criticism is as inevitable as breathing, and that we should be none the worse for articulating what passes in our minds when we read a book and feel an emotion about it, for criticizing our own minds in their work of criticism. One of the facts that might come to light in this process is our tendency to insist, when we praise a poet, upon those aspects of his work in which he least resembles anyone else. In these aspects or parts of his work we pretend to find what is individual, what is the peculiar essence of the man. We dwell with satisfaction upon the poet's difference from his predecessors, especially his immediate predecessors; we endeavour to find something that can be isolated in order to be enjoyed. Whereas if we approach a poet without this prejudice we shall often find that not only the best, but the most individual parts of his work may be those in which the dead poets, his ancestors, assert their immortality most vigorously. And I do not mean the impressionable period of adolescence, but the period of full maturity.
Yet if the only form of tradition, of handing down, consisted in following the ways of the immediate generation before us in a blind or timid adherence to its successes, 'tradition' should positively be discouraged. We have seen many such simple currents soon lost in the sand; and novelty is better than repetition. Tradition is a matter of much wider significance. It cannot be inherited, and if you want it you must obtain it by great labour. It involves, in the first place, the historical sense, which we may call nearly indispensable to any one who would continue to be a poet beyond his twenty-fifth year; and the historical sense involves a perception, not only of the pastness of the past, but of its presence; the historical sense compels a man to write not merely with his own generation in his bones, but with a feeling that the whole of the literature of Europe from Homer and within it the whole of the literature of his own country has a simultaneous existence and composes a simultaneous order. This historical sense, which is a sense of the timeless as well as of the temporal and of the timeless and of the temporal together, is what makes a writer traditional. And it is at the same time what makes a writer most acutely conscious of his place in time, of his own contemporaneity.
No poet, no artist of any art, has his complete meaning alone. His significance, his appreciation is the appreciation of his relation to the dead poets and artists. You cannot value him alone; you must set him, for contrast and comparison, among the dead. I mean this as a principle of aesthetic, not merely historical, criticism. The necessity that he shall conform, that he shall cohere, is not one-sided; what happens when a new work of art is created is something that happens simultaneously to all the works of art which preceded it. The existing monuments form an ideal order among themselves, which is modified by the introduction of the new (the really new) work of art among them. The existing order is complete before the new work arrives; for order to persist after the supervention of novelty, the whole existing order must be, if ever so slightly, altered; and so the relations, proportions, values of each work of art toward the whole are readjusted; and this is conformity between the old and the new.
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TRADITION AND THE INDIVIDUAL TALENT / 232 1
Whoever has approved this idea of order, of the form of European, of English literature will not find it preposterous that the past should be altered by the present as much as the present is directed by the past. And the poet who is aware of this will be aware of great difficulties and responsibilities.
In a peculiar sense he will be aware also that he must inevitably be judged by the standards of the past. I say judged, not amputated, by them; not judged to be as good as, or worse or better than, the dead; and certainly not judged by the canons of dead critics. It is a judgment, a comparison, in which two things are measured by each other. To conform merely would be for the new work not really to conform at all; it would not be new, and would therefore not be a work of art. And we do not quite say that the new is more valuable because it fits in; but its fitting in is a test of its value�a test, it is true, which can only be slowly and cautiously applied, for we are none of us infallible judges of conformity. We say: it appears to conform, and is perhaps individual, or it appears individual, and may conform; but we are hardly likely to find that it is one and not the other.
To proceed to a more intelligible exposition of the relation of the poet to the past: he can neither take the past as a lump, an indiscriminate bolus,2 nor can he form himself wholly on one or two private admirations, nor can he form himself wholly upon one preferred period. The first course is inadmissible, the second is an important experience of youth, and the third is a pleasant and highly desirable supplement. The poet must be very conscious of the main current, which does not at all flow invariably through the most distinguished reputations. He must be quite aware of the obvious fact that art never improves, but that the material of art is never quite the same. He must be aware that the mind of Europe�the mind of his own country�a mind which he learns in time to be much more important than his own private mind�is a mind which changes, and that this change is a development which abandons nothing en route, which does not superannuate either Shakespeare, or Homer, or the rock drawing of the Magdalenian3 draftsmen. That this development, refinement perhaps, complication certainly, is not, from the point of view of the artist, any improvement. Perhaps not even an improvement from the point of view of the psychologist or not to the extent which we imagine; perhaps only in the end based upon a complication in economics and machinery. But the difference between the present and the past is that the conscious present is an awareness of the past in a way and to an extent which the past's awareness of itself cannot show.
Someone said: 'The dead writers are remote from us because we know so
much more than they did.' Precisely, and they are that which we know.
I am alive to a usual objection to what is clearly part of my programme for the metier1 of poetry. The objection is that the doctrine requires a ridiculous amount of erudition (pedantry), a claim which can be rejected by appeal to the lives of poets in any pantheon. It will even be affirmed that much learning deadens or perverts poetic sensibility. While, however, we persist in believing that a poet ought to know as much as will not encroach upon his necessary receptivity and necessary laziness, it is not desirable to confine knowledge to whatever can be put into a useful shape for examinations, drawing-rooms, or the still more pretentious modes of publicity. Some can absorb knowledge,
2. A round mass of anything: a large pill. leine, France). 3. The most advanced culture of the European 4. Vocation (French). Paleolithic period (from discoveries at La Made
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the more tardy must sweat for it. Shakespeare acquired more essential history from Plutarch'5 than most men could from the whole British Museum. What is to be insisted upon is that the poet must develop or procure the consciousness of the past and that he should continue to develop this consciousness throughout his career.
What happens is a continual surrender of himself as he is at the moment to something which is more valuable. The progress of an artist is a continual self-sacrifice, a continual extinction of personality.
There remains to define this process of depersonalisation and its relation to the sense of tradition. It is in this depersonalization that art may be said to approach the condition of science. I, therefore, invite you to consider, as a suggestive analogy, the action which takes place when a bit of finely filiated6 platinum is introduced into a chamber containing oxygen and sulphur dioxide.
II
Honest criticism and sensitive appreciation are directed not upon the poet but upon the poetry. If we attend to the confused cries of the newspaper critics and the susurrus7 of popular repetition that follows, we shall hear the names of poets in great numbers; if we seek not Blue-book8 knowledge but the enjoyment of poetry, and ask for a poem, we shall seldom find it. I have tried to point out the importance of the relation of the poem to other poems by other authors, and suggested the conception of poetry as a living whole of all the poetry that has ever been written. The other aspect of this Impersonal theory of poetry is the relation of the poem to its author. And I hinted, by an analogy, that the mind of the mature poet differs from that of the immature one not precisely in any valuation of 'personality,' not being necessarily more interesting, or having 'more to say,' but rather by being a more finely perfected medium in which special, or very varied, feelings are at liberty to enter into new combinations.
The analogy was that of the catalyst.9 When the two gases previously mentioned are mixed in the presence of a filament of platinum, they form sulphurous acid. This combination takes place only if the platinum is present; nevertheless the newly formed acid contains no trace of platinum, and the platinum itself is apparently unaffected; has remained inert, neutral, and unchanged. The mind of the poet is the shred of platinum. It may partly or exclusively operate upon the experience of the man himself; but, the more perfect the artist, the more completely separate in him will be the man who suffers and the mind which creates; the more perfectly will the mind digest and transmute the passions which are its material.
The experience, you will notice, the elements which enter the presence of the transforming catalyst, are of two kinds: emotions and feelings. The effect of a work of art upon the person who enjoys it is an experience different in kind from any experience not of art. It may be formed out of one emotion, or may be a combination of several; and various feelings, inhering for the writer
5. Greek biographer (1st century c.E.) of famous 7. Murmuring, buzzing (Latin). Greeks and Romans; from his work Shakespeare 8. British government publication. drew the plots of his Roman plays. 9. Substance that triggers a chemical change 6. Drawn out like a thread. without being affected by the reaction.
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TRADITION AND THE INDIVIDUAL TALENT / 232 3
in particular words or phrases or images, may be added to compose the final result. Or great poetry may be made without the direct use of any emotion whatever: composed out of feelings solely. Canto XV of the Inferno (Brunetto Latini)1 is a working up of the emotion evident in the situation; but the effect, though single as that of any work of art, is obtained by considerable complexity of detail. The last quatrain gives an image, a feeling attaching to an image, which 'came,' which did not develop simply out of what precedes, but which was probably in suspension in the poet's mind until the proper combination arrived for it to add itself to.2 The poet's mind is in fact a receptacle for seizing and storing up numberless feelings, phrases, images, which remain there until all the particles which can unite to form a new compound are present together.
If you compare several representative passages of the greatest poetry you see how great is the variety of types of combination, and also how completely any semi-ethical criterion of 'sublimity' misses the mark. For it is not the 'greatness,' the intensity, of the emotions, the components, but the intensity of the artistic process, the pressure, so to speak, under which the fusion takes place, that counts. The episode of Paolo and Francesca3 employs a definite emotion, but the intensity of the poetry is something quite different from whatever intensity in the supposed experience it may give the impression of. It is no more intense, furthermore, than Canto XXVI,4 the voyage of Ulysses, which has not the direct dependence upon an emotion. Great variety is possible in the process of transmutation of emotion: the murder of Agamemnon, or the agony of Othello,5 gives an artistic effect apparently closer to a possible original than the scenes from Dante. In the Agamemnon, the artistic emotion approximates to the emotion of an actual spectator; in Othello to the emotion of the protagonist himself. But the difference between art and the event is always absolute; the combination which is the murder of Agamemnon is probably as complex as that which is the voyage of Ulysses. In either case there has been a fusion of elements. The ode of Keats contains a number of feelings which have nothing particular to do with the nightingale, but which the nightingale, partly, perhaps, because of its attractive name, and partly because of its reputation, served to bring together.
The point of view which I am struggling to attack is perhaps related to the metaphysical theory of the substantial unity of the soul: for my meaning is, that the poet has, not a 'personality' to express, but a particular medium, which is only a medium and not a personality, in which impressions and experiences combine in peculiar and unexpected ways. Impressions and experiences which are important for the man may take no place in the poetry, and those which become important in the poetry may play quite a negligible part in the man, the personality.
I will quote a passage which is unfamiliar enough to be regarded with fresh
attention in the light�or darkness�of these observations:
1. Dante meets in hell his old master, Brunetto Latini, suffering eternal punishment for unnatural lust yet still loved and admired by Dante, who addresses him with affectionate courtesy. 2. Dante's strange interview with Brunetto is over, and Brunetto moves off to continue his punishment: "Then he turned round, and seemed like one of those / Who run for the green cloth [in the footrace] at Verona / In the field; and he seemed among them / Not the loser but the winner." 3. Illicit lovers whom Dante meets in the second circle of hell (Inferno 5) and at whose punishment and sorrows he swoons with pity. 4. Of the Inferno. Ulysses, suffering in hell for "false counseling," tells Dante of his final voyage. 5. Shakespeare's character kills himself after being duped into jealously murdering his wife. In Aeschylus's play Agamemnon the title character is murdered by his wife, Clytemnestra.
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And now methinks I could e'en chide myself For doating on her beauty, though her death Shall be revenged after no common action. Does the silkworm expend her yellow labours For thee? For thee does she undo herself? Are lordships sold to maintain ladyships For the poor benefit of a bewildering minute? Why does yon fellow falsify highways, And put his life between the judge's lips, To refine such a thing�keeps horse and men To beat their valours for her? .. . 6
In this passage (as is evident if it is taken in its context) there is a combination of positive and negative emotions: an intensely strong attraction toward beauty and an equally intense fascination by the ugliness which is contrasted with it and which destroys it. This balance of contrasted emotion is in the dramatic situation to which the speech is pertinent, but that situation alone is inadequate to it. This is, so to speak, the structural emotion, provided by the drama. But the whole effect, the dominant tone, is due to the fact that a number of floating feelings, having an affinity to this emotion by no means superficially evident, have combined with it to give us a new art emotion.
It is not in his personal emotions, the emotions provoked by particular events in his life, that the poet is in any way remarkable or interesting. His particular emotions may be simple, or crude, or flat. The emotion in his poetry will be a very complex thing, but not with the complexity of the emotions of people who have very complex or unusual emotions in life. One error, in fact, of eccentricity in poetry is to seek for new human emotions to express; and in this search for novelty in the wrong place it discovers the perverse. The business of the poet is not to find new emotions, but to use the ordinary ones and, in working them up into poetry, to express feelings which are not in actual emotions at all. And emotions which he has never experienced will serve his turn as well as those familiar to him. Consequently, we must believe that 'emotion recollected in tranquillity'7 is an inexact formula. For it is neither emotion, nor recollection, nor, without distortion of meaning, tranquility. It is a concentration, and a new thing resulting from the concentration, of a very great number of experiences which to the practical and active person would not seem to be experiences at all; it is a concentration which does not happen consciously or of deliberation. These experiences are not 'recollected,' and they finally unite in an atmosphere which is 'tranquil' only in that it is a passive attending upon the event. Of course this is not quite the whole story. There is a great deal, in the writing of poetry, which must be conscious and deliberate. In fact, the bad poet is usually unconscious where he ought to be conscious, and conscious where he ought to be unconscious. Both errors tend to make him 'personal.' Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion; it is not the expression of personality, but an escape from personality. But, of course, only those who have personality and emotions know what it means to want to escape from these things.
6. From Cyril Tourneur's Revenger's Tragedy 3.4 1800), Wordsworth writes that poetry "takes its (1607). origin from emotion recollected in tranquility." 7. In his preface to Lyrical Ballads (2nd ed.,
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III
o 6E vout i'oco^ Geio repov TL Kai ajtaSe^ EOTIV.8 This essay proposes to halt at the frontier of metaphysics or mysticism, and confine itself to such practical conclusions as can be applied by the responsible person interested in poetry. To divert interest from the poet to the poetry is a laudable aim: for it would conduce to a juster estimation of actual poetry, good and bad. There are many people who appreciate the expression of sincere emotion in verse, and there is a smaller number of people who can appreciate technical excellence. But very few know when there is an expression of significant emotion, emotion which has its life in the poem and not in the history of the poet. The emotion of art is impersonal. And the poet cannot reach this impersonality without surrendering himself wholly to the work to be done. And he is not likely to know what is to be done unless he lives in what is not merely the present, but the present moment of the past, unless he is conscious, not of what is dead, but of what is already living.
1919, 1920
The Metaphysical Poets
By collecting these poems' from the work of a generation more often named than read, and more often read than profitably studied, Professor Grierson has rendered a service of some importance. Certainly the reader will meet with many poems already preserved in other anthologies, at the same time that he discovers poems such as those of Aurelian Townshend or Lord Herbert of Cherbury here included. But the function of such an anthology as this is neither that of Professor Saintsbury's admirable edition of Caroline poets nor that of the Oxford Book of English Verse. Mr. Grierson's book is in itself a piece of criticism and a provocation of criticism; and we think that he was right in including so many poems of Donne, elsewhere (though not in many editions) accessible, as documents in the case of 'metaphysical poetry.' The phrase has long done duty as a term of abuse or as the label of a quaint and pleasant taste. The question is to what extent the so-called metaphysicals formed a school (in our own time we should say a 'movement'), and how far this so- called school or movement is a digression from the main current.
Not only is it extremely difficult to define metaphysical poetry, but difficult to decide what poets practise it and in which of their verses. The poetry of Donne (to whom Marvell and Bishop King are sometimes nearer than any of the other authors) is late Elizabethan, its feeling often very close to that of Chapman. The 'courtly' poetry is derivative from Jonson, who borrowed liberally from the Latin; it expires in the next century with the sentiment and witticism of Prior. There is finally the devotional verse of Herbert, Vaughan, and Crashaw (echoed long after by Christina Rossetti and Francis Thompson); Crashaw, sometimes more profound and less sectarian than the others, has a
8. Aristotle's "De Anima" ("On the Soul") 1.4: teenth Century: Donne to Butler (1921), selected "The mind is doubtless something more divine and and edited, with an essay, by Herbert J. C. Grierunimpressionable." son. Eliot's essay was originally a review of this 1. Metaphysical Lyrics and Poems of the Seven-book in the London Times Literary Supplement.
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quality which returns through the Elizabethan period to the early Italians. It is difficult to find any precise use of metaphor, simile, or other conceit, which is common to all the poets and at the same time important enough as an element of style to isolate these poets as a group. Donne, and often Cowley, employ a device which is sometimes considered characteristically 'metaphysical'; the elaboration (contrasted with the condensation) of a figure of speech to the furthest stage to which ingenuity can carry it. Thus Cowley develops the commonplace comparison of the world to a chess-board through long stanzas (To Destiny), and Donne, with more grace, in A Valediction,2 the comparison of two lovers to a pair of compasses. But elsewhere we find, instead of the mere explication of the content of a comparison, a development by rapid association of thought which requires considerable agility on the part of the reader.
On a round ball
A xvorkeman that hath copies by, can lay
An Europe, Afrique, and an Asia,
And quickly make that, which was nothing, All,
So doth each teare,
Which thee doth weare,
A globe, yea world by that impression grow,
Till thy tears mixt with mine doe overflow
This world, b)> waters sent from thee, my heaven dissolved so.1
Here we find at least two connexions which are not implicit in the first figure, but are forced upon it by the poet: from the geographer's globe to the tear, and the tear to the deluge. On the other hand, some of Donne's most successful and characteristic effects are secured by brief words and sudden contrasts:
A bracelet of bright hair about the bone/
where the most powerful effect is produced by the sudden contrast of associations of 'bright hair' and of 'bone'. This telescoping of images and multiplied associations is characteristic of the phrase of some of the dramatists of the period which Donne knew: not to mention Shakespeare, it is frequent in Middleton, Webster, and Tourneur, and is one of the sources of the vitality of their language.
Johnson, who employed the term 'metaphysical poets', apparently having Donne, Cleveland, and Cowley chiefly in mind, remarks of them that 'the most heterogeneous ideas are yoked by violence together'.5 The force of this impeachment lies in the failure of the conjunction, the fact that often the ideas are yoked but not united; and if we are to judge of styles of poetry by their abuse, enough examples may be found in Cleveland to justify Johnson's condemnation. But a degree of heterogeneity of material compelled into unity by the operation of the poet's mind is omnipresent in poetry. We need not select for illustration such a line as:
Notre ame est un trois-mats cherchant son Icarie;6
2. I.e., "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning." 6. From Charles Baudelaire's "Le Voyage": "Our 3. Donne's "A Valediction: Of Weeping," lines sou] is a three-masted ship searching for her 10-18. Icarie"; Icarie is an imaginary Utopia in Voyage en 4. "The Relic," line 6. Icarie (1840), a novel by the French socialist 5. See Samuel Johnson's Cowley. Etienne Cabet.
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THE METAPHYSICAL POETS / 233 1
we may find it in some of the best lines of Johnson himself (The Vanity of Human Wishes):
His fate was destined to a barren strand, A petty fortress, and a dubious hand; He left a name at which the world grew -pale, To -point a moral, or adorn a tale.
where the effect is due to a contrast of ideas, different in degree but the same in principle, as that which Johnson mildly reprehended. And in one of the finest poems of the age (a poem which could not have been written in any other age), the Exequy of Bishop King, the extended comparison is used with perfect success: the idea and the simile become one, in the passage in which the Bishop illustrates his impatience to see his dead wife, under the figure of a journey:
Stay for me there; I will notfaile To meet thee in that hollow Vale. And think not much of my delay; I am already on the way, And follow thee with all the speed Desire can make, or sorrows breed. Each minute is a short degree, And ev'ry hour a step towards thee, At night when I betake to rest, Next morn I rise nearer my West Of life, almost by eight houres sail, Than when sleep breath'd his drowsy gale. . . . But hearkl My Pulse, like a soft Drum Beats my approach, tells Thee I come; And slow howere my marches be, I shall at last sit down by Thee.
(In the last few lines there is that effect of terror which is several times attained by one of Bishop King's admirers, Edgar Poe.) Again, we may justly take these quatrains from Lord Herbert's Ode,7 stanzas which would, we think, be immediately pronounced to be of the metaphysical school:
So when from hence we shall be gone, And be no more, nor you, nor I, As one another's mystery,
Each shall be both, yet both but one.
This said, in her up-lifted face, Her eyes, which did that beauty crown, Were like two stars, that having fain down,
Look up again to find their place:
While such a moveless silent peace Did seize on their becalmed sense, One woidd have thought some influence
Their ravished spirits did possess.
7. Edward, Lord Herbert of Cherbury (1583�1648), brother of George Herbert. The "Ode" is his "Ode upon a Question moved, whether Love should continue forever?"
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There is nothing in these lines (with the possible exception of the stars, a simile not at once grasped, but lovely and justified) which fits Johnson's general observations on the metaphysical poets in his essay on Cowley. A good deal resides in the richness of association which is at the same time borrowed from and given to the word 'becalmed'; but the meaning is clear, the language simple and elegant. It is to be observed that the language of these poets is as a rule simple and pure; in the verse of George Herbert this simplicity is carried as far as it can go�a simplicity emulated without success by numerous modern poets. The structure of the sentences, on the other hand, is sometimes far from simple, but this is not a vice; it is a fidelity to thought and feeling. The effect, at its best, is far less artificial than that of an ode by Gray. And as this fidelity induces variety of thought and feeling, so it induces variety of music. We doubt whether, in the eighteenth century, could be found two poems in nominally the same metre, so dissimilar as Marvell's Coy Mistress and Crashaw's Saint Teresa; the one producing an effect of great speed by the use of short syllables, and the other an ecclesiastical solemnity by the use of long ones:
Love, thou art absolute sole lord Of life and death.
If so shrewd and sensitive (though so limited) a critic as Johnson failed to define metaphysical poetry by its faults, it is worth while to inquire whether we may not have more success by adopting the opposite method: by assuming that the poets of the seventeenth century (up to the Revolution)8 were the direct and normal development of the precedent age; and, without prejudicing their case by the adjective 'metaphysical', consider whether their virtue was not something permanently valuable, which subsequently disappeared, but ought not to have disappeared. Johnson has hit, perhaps by accident, on one of their peculiarities, when he observes that 'their attempts were always analytic'; he would not agree that, after the dissociation, they put the material together again in a new unity.
It is certain that the dramatic verse of the later Elizabethan and early Jacobean poets expresses a degree of development of sensibility which is not found in any of the prose, good as it often is. If we except Marlowe, a man of prodigious intelligence, these dramatists were directly or indirectly (it is at least a tenable theory) affected by Montaigne.9 Even if we except also Jonson and Chapman, these two were probably erudite, and were notably men who incorporated their erudition into their sensibility: their mode of feeling was directly and freshly altered by their reading and thought. In Chapman especially there is a direct sensuous apprehension of thought, or a recreation of thought into feeling, which is exactly what we find in Donne:
in this one thing, all the discipline Of manners and of manhood is contained; A man to join himself with th' Universe In his main sway, and make in all things fit One with that All, and go on, round as it; Not plucking from the whole his wretched part, And into straits, or into nought revert,
8. Of 1688; when James II was replaced by Wil- 9. Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592), French liam and Mary. essayist.
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THE METAPHYSICAL POETS / 233 1
Wishing the complete Universe might he Subject to such a rag of it as he; But to consider great Necessity.1
We compare this with some modern passage:
No, when the fight begins within himself, A man's worth something. God stoops o'er his head, Satan looks up between his feet�both tug� He's left, himself, i' the middle; the soul wakes And grows. Prolong that battle through his life!2
It is perhaps somewhat less fair, though very tempting (as both poets are concerned with the perpetuation of love by offspring), to compare with the stanzas already quoted from Lord Herbert's Ode the following from Tennyson:
One walked between his wife and child, With measured footfall firm and mild, And now and then he gravely smiled.
The prudent partner of his blood Leaned on him, faithful, gentle, good, Wearing the rose of womanhood.
And in their double love secure, The little maiden walked demure, Pacing with downward eyelids pure.
These three made unity so sweet, My frozen heart began to heat, Remembering its ancient heat,3
The difference is not a simple difference of degree between poets. It is something which had happened to the mind of England between the time of Donne or Lord Herbert of Cherbury and the time of Tennyson and Browning; it is the difference between the intellectual poet and the reflective poet. Tennyson and Browning are poets, and they think; but they do not feel their thought as immediately as the odour of a rose. A thought to Donne was an experience; it modified his sensibility. When a poet's mind is perfectly equipped for its work, it is constantly amalgamating disparate experience; the ordinary man's experience is chaotic, irregular, fragmentary. The latter falls in love, or reads Spinoza," 1 and these two experiences have nothing to do with each other, or with the noise of the typewriter or the smell of cooking; in the mind of the poet these experiences are always forming new wholes.
We may express the difference by the following theory: The poets of the seventeenth century, the successors of the dramatists of the sixteenth, possessed a mechanism of sensibility which could devour any kind of experience. They are simple, artificial, difficult, or fantastic, as their predecessors were; no less nor more than Dante, Guido Cavalcanti, Guinicelli, or Cino.5 In the seventeenth century a dissociation of sensibility set in, from which we have never recovered; and this dissociation, as is natural, was aggravated by the influence of the two most powerful poets of the century, Milton and Dryden.
1. From The Revenge of Bussy d'Ambois (4.1.137-5. These last three poets, all of whom lived in the 46). 13th century, were members of the Tuscan school 2. Robert Browning, "Bishop Blougram's Apol-of lyric love poets. Guido Guinicelli was hailed by ogy," lines 693-97. Dante in the Purgatorio as "father of Italian poets." 3. "The Two Voices," lines 412�23. Cino da Pistoia was a friend of Dante and Petrarch. 4. 17th-century Dutch philosopher.
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Each of these men performed certain poetic functions so magnificently well that the magnitude of the effect concealed the absence of others. The language went on and in some respects improved; the best verse of Collins, Gray, Johnson, and even Goldsmith satisfies some of our fastidious demands better than that of Donne or Marvell or King. But while the language became more refined, the feeling became more crude. The feeling, the sensibility, expressed in the Country Churchyard'' (to say nothing of Tennyson and Browning) is cruder than that in the Coy Mistress.
The second effect of the influence of Milton and Dryden followed from the first, and was therefore slow in manifestation. The sentimental age began early in the eighteenth century, and continued. The poets revolted against the ratiocinative, the descriptive; they thought and felt by fits, unbalanced; they reflected. In one or two passages of Shelley's Triumph of Life, in the second Hyperion, there are traces of a struggle toward unification of sensibility. But Keats and Shelley died, and Tennyson and Browning ruminated.
After this brief exposition of a theory�too brief, perhaps, to carry conviction� we may ask, what would have been the fate of the 'metaphysical' had the current of poetry descended in a direct line from them, as it descended in a direct line to them? They would not, certainly, be classified as metaphysical. The possible interests of a poet are unlimited; the more intelligent he is the better; the more intelligent he is the more likely that he will have interests: our only condition is that he turn them into poetry, and not merely meditate on them poetically. A philosophical theory which has entered into poetry is established, for its truth or falsity in one sense ceases to matter, and its truth in another sense is proved. The poets in question have, like other poets, various faults. But they were, at best, engaged in the task of trying to find the verbal equivalent for states of mind and feeling. And this means both that they are more mature, and that they wear better, than later poets of certainly not less literary ability.
It is not a permanent necessity that poets should be interested in philosophy, or in any other subject. We can only say that it appears likely that poets in our civilization, as it exists at present, must be difficult. Our civilization comprehends great variety and complexity, and this variety and complexity, playing upon a refined sensibility, must produce various and complex results. The poet must become more and more comprehensive, more allusive, more indirect, in order to force, to dislocate if necessary, language into his meaning. (A brilliant and extreme statement of this view, with which it is not requisite to associate oneself, is that of M Jean Epstein, La Poesie d'aujourd'hui.7) Hence we get something which looks very much like the conceit�we get, in fact, a method curiously similar to that of the 'metaphysical poets', similar also in its use of obscure words and of simple phrasing.
O geraniums diaphanes, guerroyeurs sortileges, Sacrileges monomanes! Emhallages, devergondages, douches! O pressoirs Des vendanges des grands soirs! Layettes aux ahois, Thyrses au fond des hois! Transfusions, represailles,
6. I.e., "An Elegy Written ill a Country Church- 7. Poetry of today (French), yard," by Thomas Gray (1716�1771).
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THE METAPHYSICAL POETS / 233 1
Relevailles, compresses et Veternal potion,
Angelus! n'en pouvoir plus
De debacles nuptiales! de debacles nuptiales!8
The same poet could write also simply:
Elle est bien loin, elle pleure,
Le grand vent se lamente aussi . . . 9
Jules Laforgue, and Tristan Corbiere1 in many of his poems, are nearer to the 'school of Donne' than any modern English poet. But poets more classical than they have the same essential quality of transmuting ideas into sensations, of transforming an observation into a state of mind.
Pour I'enfant, amoureux de cartes et d'estampes, L'univers est egal a son vaste appetit. Ah, que le monde est grand a la clarte des lampes! Aux yeux du souvenir que le monde est petit!2
In French literature the great master of the seventeenth century�Racine� and the great master of the nineteenth�Baudelaire�are in some ways more like each other than they are like anyone else. The greatest two masters of diction are also the greatest two psychologists, the most curious explorers of the soul. It is interesting to speculate whether it is not a misfortune that two of the greatest masters of diction in our language, Milton and Dryden, triumph with a dazzling disregard of the soul. If we continued to produce Miltons and Drydens it might not so much matter, but as things are it is a pity that English poetry has remained so incomplete. Those who object to the 'artificiality' of Milton or Dryden sometimes tell us to 'look into our hearts and write.'3 But that is not looking deep enough; Bacine or Donne looked into a good deal more than the heart. One must look into the cerebral cortex, the nervous system, and the digestive tracts.
May we not conclude, then, that Donne, Crashaw, Vaughan, Herbert and Lord Herbert, Marvell, King, Cowley at his best, are in the direct current of English poetry, and that their faults should be reprimanded by this standard rather than coddled by antiquarian affection? They have been enough praised in terms which are implicit limitations because they are 'metaphysical' or 'witty,' 'quaint' or 'obscure,' though at their best they have not these attributes more than other serious poets. On the other hand, we must not reject the criticism of Johnson (a dangerous person to disagree with) without having mastered it, without having assimilated the Johnsonian canons of taste. In reading the celebrated passage in his essay on Cowley we must remember that by wit he clearly means something more serious than we usually mean to-day; in his criticism of their versification we must remember in what a narrow discipline he was trained, but also how well trained; we must remember that
8. From Derniers Vers (Last Poems, 1890) 10, by a Dead Woman"): "She is far away, she weeps / Jules Laforgue (1860-1887): "O transparent The great wind mourns also." geraniums, warrior incantations, / Monomaniac 1. French symbolist poet (1845-1875). sacrileges! / Packing materials, shamelessnesses, 2. From Charles Baudelaire's "Le Voyage": "For shower baths! O wine presses / Of great evening the child, in love with maps and prints, / The univintages! / Hard-pressed baby linen, /Thyrsis in the verse matches his vast appetite. / Ah, how big the depths of the woods! / Transfusions, reprisals, / world is by lamplight! How small the world is to Churchings, compresses, and the eternal potion, / the eyes of memory!" Angelus! no longer to be borne [are] / Catastrophic 3. An adaptation of the last line of the first sonnet marriages! catastrophic marriages!" of Astrophil and Stella, bv Sir Philip Sidnev (1 554� 9. From Derniers Vers 11, "Sur une Defunte" ("On 1586).
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233 2 / {CATHERINE MANSFIELD
Johnson tortures chiefly the chief offenders, Cowley and Cleveland. It would be a fruitful work, and one requiring a substantial book, to break up the classification of Johnson (for there has been none since) and exhibit these poets in all their difference of kind and of degree, from the massive music of Donne to the faint, pleasing tinkle of Aurelian Townshend�whose Dialogue between a Pilgrim and Time is one of the few regrettable omissions from the excellent anthology of Professor Grierson.
1921
KATHERINE MANSFIELD 1888-1923
Kathleen Mansfield Beauchamp was born in Wellington, New Zealand, daughter of a respected businessman who was later knighted. In 1903 the family moved to London, where Kathleen and her sisters entered Queen's College, the first institution in England founded expressly for the higher education of women. The family returned to New Zealand, leaving the girls in London, but the Beauchamps brought their daughters home in 1906. By this time Kathleen had written a number of poems, sketches, and stories; and after experimenting with different pen names, she adopted that of Katherine Mansfield. She was restless and ambitious and chafed against the narrowness of middle-class life in New Zealand, at that time still very much a new country in the shadow of the British Empire.
In July 1908 Mansfield left again for London; she never returned to New Zealand. In 1909 she suddenly married G. C. Bowden, a teacher of singing and elocution, but left him the same evening. Shortly afterward she became pregnant by another man and went to Germany to await the birth, but she had a miscarriage there. Her experiences in Germany are told in carefully observed sketches full of ironic detail in her first published book, In a German Pension (191 1).
In 1910 she briefly resumed life with Bowden, who put her in touch with A. R. Orage, editor of the avant-garde periodical The New Age. There she published a number of her stories and sketches. At the end of 1911 she met the critic John Middleton Murry, editor of the modernist magazine Rhythm, and eventually married him. She developed intense but conflicted friendships with D. H. Lawrence, Virginia Woolf, and other writers of the day. During all this time Mansfield experimented in technique and refined her art, attempting within the short story to illuminate the ambivalences and complexities of friendship and family, gender and class. The death in World War I in October 1915 of her much-loved younger brother sent her imagination back to their childhood days in New Zealand and in doing so gave a fresh charge and significance to her writing. Using her newly developed style with an ever greater subtlety and sensitivity, she now produced her best stories, including "Prelude," "Daughters of the Late Colonel," "At the Bay," and "The Garden Party." With the publication of The Garden Party and Other Stories in February 1922, Mansfield's place as a master of the modern short story was ensured. But she was gravely ill with tuberculosis and died suddenly at the age of thirty-four in Fontainebleau, France, where she had gone to try to find a cure by adopting the methods of the controversial mystic George Ivanovich Gurdjieff.
Mansfield produced her best and most characteristic work in her last years, when she combined incident, image, symbol, and structure in a way comparable with, yet interestingly different from, James Joyce's method in Dubliners, both writers sharing
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THE DAUGHTERS OF THE LATE COLONEL / 2333
an influence in the precise and understated art of the Russian writer Anton Chekhov. "Daughters of the Late Colonel," a story of two middle-aged sisters and their devotion to a tyrannical father, shows her working characteristically through suggestion rather than explicit development to illuminate a late-Victorian world, with the subdued elegiac sense of female lives wasted in the service of an outmoded patriarchal order, although the story's ironic surface is restrained comedy. The meaning is achieved most of all through the atmosphere, built up by the accumulation of small strokes, none of which seems more than a shrewdly observed realistic detail. Mansfield also manipulates time masterfully: she makes particularly effective use of the unobtrusive flashback, where we find ourselves in an earlier phase of the action without quite knowing how we got there but fully aware of its relevance to the total action and atmosphere.
The Daughters of the Late Colonel
I
The week after was one of the busiest weeks of their lives. Even when they went to bed it was only their bodies that lay down and rested; their minds went on, thinking things out, talking things over, wondering, deciding, trying to remember where . . .
Constantia lay like a statue, her hands by her sides, her feet just overlapping each other, the sheet up to her chin. She stared at the ceiling.
'Do you think father would mind if we gave his top-hat to the porter?'
'The porter?' snapped Josephine. 'Why ever the porter? What a very extraordinary idea!'
'Because,' said Constantia slowly, 'he must often have to go to funerals. And I noticed at�at the cemetery that he only had a bowler.' She paused. 'I thought then how very much he'd appreciate a top-hat. We ought to give him a present, too. He was always very nice to father.'
'But,' cried Josephine, flouncing on her pillow and staring across the dark at Constantia, 'father's head!' And suddenly, for one awful moment, she nearly giggled. Not, of course, that she felt in the least like giggling. It must have been habit. Years ago, when they had stayed awake at night talking, their beds had simply heaved. And now the porter's head, disappearing, popped out, like a candle, under father's hat. . . . The giggle mounted, mounted; she clenched her hands; she fought it down; she frowned fiercely at the dark and said 'Remember' terribly sternly.
'We can decide tomorrow,' she sighed.
Constantia had noticed nothing; she sighed.
'Do you think we ought to have our dressing-gowns dyed as well?'
'Black?' almost shrieked Josephine.
'Well, what else?' said Constantia. 'I was thinking�it doesn't seem quite sincere, in a way, to wear black out of doors and when we're fully dressed, and then when we're at home�'
But nobody sees us,' said Josephine. She gave the bedclothes such a twitch that both her feet became uncovered and she had to creep up the pillows to get them well under again.
'Kate does,' said Constantia. 'And the postman very well might.' Josephine thought of her dark-red slippers, which matched her dressing- gown, and of Constantia's favourite indefinite green ones which went with
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233 4 / {CATHERINE MANSFIELD
hers. Black! Two black dressing-gowns and two pairs of black woolly slippers,
creeping off to the bathroom like black cats.
'I don't think it's absolutely necessary,' said she.
Silence. Then Constantia said, 'We shall have to post the papers with the notice in them tomorrow to catch the Ceylon mail. . . . How many letters have we had up till now?'
'Twenty-three.'
Josephine had replied to them all, and twenty-three times when she came to 'We miss our dear father so much' she had broken down and had to use her handkerchief, and on some of them even to soak up a very light-blue tear with an edge of blotting-paper. Strange! She couldn't have put it on�but twenty-three times. Even now, though, when she said over to herself sadly 'We miss our dear father so much,' she could have cried if she'd wanted to.
'Have you got enough stamps?' came from Constantia.
'Oh, how can I tell?' said Josephine crossly. 'What's the good of asking me that now?'
'I was just wondering,' said Constantia mildly.
Silence again. There came a little rustle, a scurry, a hop.
'A mouse,' said Constantia.
'It can't be a mouse because there aren't any crumbs,' said Josephine.
'But it doesn't know there aren't,' said Constantia.
A spasm of pity squeezed her heart. Poor little thing! She wished she'd left a tiny piece of biscuit on the dressing-table. It was awful to think of it not finding anything. What would it do?
'I can't think how they manage to live at all,' she said slowly.
'Who?' demanded Josephine.
And Constantia said more loudly than she meant to, 'Mice.'
Josephine was furious. 'Oh, what nonsense, Con!' she said. 'What have mice got to do with it? You're asleep.' 'I don't think I am,' said Constantia. She shut her eyes to make sure. She was. Josephine arched her spine, pulled up her knees, folded her arms so that her fists came under her ears, and pressed her cheek hard against the pillow.
II
Another thing which complicated matters was they had Nurse Andrews staying on with them that week. It was their own fault; they had asked her. It was Josephine's idea. On the morning�well, on the last morning, when the doctor had gone, Josephine had said to Constantia, 'Don't you think it would be rather nice if we asked Nurse Andrews to stay on for a week as our guest?'
'Very nice,' said Constantia.
'I thought,' went on Josephine quickly, 'I should just say this afternoon, after
I've paid her, 'My sister and I would be very pleased, after all you've done for
us, Nurse Andrews, if you would stay on for a week as our guest.' I'd have to
put that in about being our guest in case�'
'Oh, but she could hardly expect to be paid!' cried Constantia.
'One never knows,' said Josephine sagely.
Nurse Andrews had, of course, jumped at the idea. But it was a bother. It
meant they had to have regular sit-down meals at the proper times, whereas
if they'd been alone they could just have asked Kate if she wouldn't have
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THE DAUGHTERS OF THE LATE COLONEL / 2335
minded bringing them a tray wherever they were. And meal-times now that the strain was over were rather a trial.
Nurse Andrews was simply fearful about butter. Really they couldn't help feeling that about butter, at least, she took advantage of their kindness. And she had that maddening habit of asking for just an inch more bread to finish what she had on her plate, and then, at the last mouthful, absent-mindedly�of course it wasn't absent-mindedly�taking another helping. Josephine got very red when this happened, and she fastened her small, bead-like eyes on the tablecloth as if she saw a minute strange insect creeping through the web of it. But Constantia's long, pale face lengthened and set, and she gazed away� away�far over the desert, to where that line of camels unwound like a thread of wool. . . .
'When I was with Lady Tukes,' said Nurse Andrews, 'she had such a dainty little contrayvance for the buttah. It was a silvah cupid balanced on the�on the bordah of a glass dish, holding a tayny fork. And when you wanted some buttah you simply pressed his foot and he bent down and speared you a piece. It was quite a gayme.'
Josephine could hardly bear that. But 'I think those things are very extravagant' was all she said. 'But whey?' asked Nurse Andrews, beaming through her eyeglasses. 'No one, surely, would take more buttah than one wanted�would one?'
'Ring, Con,' cried Josephine. She couldn't trust herself to reply.
And proud young Kate, the enchanted princess, came in to see what the old tabbies wanted now. She snatched away their plates of mock something or other and slapped down a white terrified blancmange.1
'Jam, please, Kate,' said Josephine kindly.
Kate knelt and burst open the sideboard, lifted the lid of the jam-pot, saw it was empty, put it on the table, and stalked off. 'I'm afraid,' said Nurse Andrews a moment later, 'there isn't any.' 'Oh, what a bother!' said Josephine. She bit her lip. 'What had we better do?'
Constantia looked dubious. 'We can't disturb Kate again,' she said softly.
Nurse Andrews waited, smiling at them both. Her eyes wandered, spying at everything behind her eyeglasses. Constantia in despair went back to her camels. Josephine frowned heavily�concentrated. If it hadn't been for this idiotic woman she and Con would, of course, have eaten their blancmange without. Suddenly the idea came.
'I know,' she said. 'Marmalade. There's some marmalade in the sideboard. Get it, Con.' 'I hope,' laughed Nurse Andrews�and her laugh was like a spoon tinkling against a medicine glass�'I hope it's not very bittah marmalayde.'
Ill
But, after all, it was not long now, and then she'd be gone for good. And there was no getting over the fact that she had been very kind to father. She had nursed him day and night at the end. Indeed, both Constantia and Josephine felt privately she had rather overdone the not leaving him at the very last. For when they had gone in to say goodbye Nurse Andrews had sat beside
I. A gelatinous dessert.
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233 6 / {CATHERINE MANSFIELD
his hed the whole time, holding his wrist and pretending to look at her watch. It couldn't have been necessary. It was so tactless, too. Supposing father had wanted to say something�something private to them. Not that he had. Oh, far from it! He lay there, purple, a dark, angry purple in the face, and never even looked at them when they came in. Then, as they were standing there, wondering what to do, he had suddenly opened one eye. Oh, what a difference it would have made, what a difference to their memory of him, how much easier to tell people about it, if he had only opened both! But no�one eye only. It glared at them a moment and then . . . went out.
IV
It had made it very awkward for them when Mr Farolles, of St John's, called the same afternoon. 'The end was quite peaceful, I trust?' were the first words he said as he glided towards them through the dark drawing-room. 'Quite,' said Josephine faintly. They both hung their heads. Both of them felt certain that eye wasn't at all a peaceful eye.
'Won't you sit down?' said Josephine.
'Thank you, Miss Pinner,' said Mr Farolles gratefully. He folded his coattails and began to lower himself into father's armchair, but just as he touched it he almost sprang up and slid into the next chair instead.
He coughed. Josephine clasped her hands; Constantia looked vague.
'I want you to feel, Miss Pinner,' said Mr Farolles, 'and you, Miss Constantia, that I'm trying to be helpful. I want to be helpful to you both, if you will let me. These are the times,' said Mr Farolles, very simply and earnestly, 'when God means us to be helpful to one another.'
'Thank you very much, Mr Farolles,' said Josephine and Constantia.
Not at all,' said Mr Farolles gently. He drew his kid gloves through his fingers and leaned forward. 'And if either of you would like a little Communion, either or both of you, here and now, you have only to tell me. A little Communion is often very help�a great comfort,' he added tenderly.
But the idea of a little Communion terrified them. What! In the drawing room by themselves�with no�no altar or anything! The piano would be much too high, thought Constantia, and Mr Farolles could not possibly lean over it with the chalice. And Kate would be sure to come bursting in and interrupt them, thought Josephine. And supposing the bell rang in the middle? It might be somebody important�about their mourning. Would they get up reverently and go out, or would they have to wait .. . in torture?
'Perhaps you will send round a note by your good Kate if you would care for
it later,' said Mr Farolles.
'Oh yes, thank you very much!' they both said.
Mr Farolles got up and took his black straw hat from the round table.
'And about the funeral,' he said softly. 'I may arrange that�as your dear father's old friend and yours, Miss Pinner�and Miss Constantia?'
Josephine and Constantia got up too.
'I should like it to be quite simple,' said Josephine firmly, 'and not too expensive. At the same time, I should like�'
'A good one that will last,' thought dreamy Constantia, as if Josephine were buying a nightgown. But of course Josephine didn't say that. 'One suitable to our father's position.' She was very nervous.
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THE DAUGHTERS OF THE LATE COLONEL / 2337
'I'll run round to our good friend Mr Knight,' said Mr Farolles soothingly. 'I will ask him to come and see you. I am sure you will find him very helpful indeed.'
V
Well, at any rate, all that part of it was over, though neither of them could possibly believe that father was never coming back. Josephine had had a moment of absolute terror at the cemetery, while the coffin was lowered, to think that she and Constantia had done this thing without asking his permission. What would father say when he found out? For he was bound to find out sooner or later. He always did. 'Buried. You two girls had me buried?' She heard his stick thumping. Oh, what would they say? What possible excuse could they make? It sounded such an appallingly heartless thing to do. Such a wicked advantage to take of a person because he happened to be helpless at the moment. The other people seemed to treat it all as a matter of course. They were strangers; they couldn't be expected to understand that father was the very last person for such a thing to happen to. No, the entire blame for it all would fall on her and Constantia. And the expense, she thought, stepping into the tight-buttoned cab. When she had to show him the bills. What would he say then?
She heard him absolutely roaring, 'And do you expect me to pay for this gimcrack excursion of yours?'
'Oh,' groaned poor Josephine aloud, 'we shouldn't have done it, Con!'
And Constantia, pale as a lemon in all that blackness, said in a frightened whisper, 'Done what, Jug?' 'Let them bu-bury father like that,' said Josephine, breaking down and crying into her new, queer-smelling mourning handkerchief. 'But what else could we have done?' asked Constantia wonderingly. 'We couldn't have kept him unburied. At any rate, not in a flat that size.'
Josephine blew her nose; the cab was dreadfully stuffy.
'I don't know,' she said forlornly. 'It is all so dreadful. I feel we ought to have tried to, just for a time at least. To make perfectly sure. One thing's certain'�and her tears sprang out again�'father will never forgive us for this�never!'
VI
Father would never forgive them. That was what they felt more than ever when, two mornings later, they went into his room to go through his things. They had discussed it quite calmly. It was even down on Josephine's list of things to be done. Go through father's things and settle about them. But that was a very different matter from saying after breakfast:
'Well, are you ready, Con?'
'Yes, Jug�when you are.'
'Then I think we'd better get it over.'
It was dark in the hall. It had been a rule for years never to disturb father in the morning, whatever happened. And now they were going to open the door without knocking even ... . Constantia's eyes were enormous at the idea; Josephine felt weak in the knees.
'You�you go first,' she gasped, pushing Constantia.
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233 8 / {CATHERINE MANSFIELD
But Constantia said, as she always had said on those occasions, 'No, Jug, that's not fair. You're the eldest.'
Josephine was just going to say�what at other times she wouldn't have owned to for the world�what she kept for her very last weapon, 'But you're the tallest,' when they noticed that the kitchen door was open, and there stood Kate. . . .
'Very stiff,' said Josephine, grasping the door-handle and doing her best to turn it. As if anything ever deceived Kate!
It couldn't be helped. That girl was . . . Then the door was shut behind them, but�but they weren't in father's room at all. They might have suddenly walked through the wall by mistake into a different flat altogether. Was the door just behind them? They were too frightened to look. Josephine knew that if it was it was holding itself tight shut; Constantia felt that, like the doors in dreams, it hadn't any handle at all. It was the coldness which made it so awful. Or the whiteness�which? Everything was covered. The blinds were down, a cloth hung over the mirror, a sheet hid the bed, a huge fan of white paper filled the fireplace. Constantia timidly put out her hand; she almost expected a snowflake to fall. Josephine felt a queer tingling in her nose, as if her nose was freezing. Then a cab klop-klopped over the cobbles below, and the quiet seemed to shake into little pieces.
'I had better pull up a blind,' said Josephine bravely.
'Yes, it might be a good idea,' whispered Constantia.
They only gave the blind a touch, but it flew up and the cord flew after, rolling round the blind-stick, and the little tassel tapped as if trying to get free. That was too much for Constantia. 'Don't you think�don't you think we might put it off for another day?' she whispered.
'Why?' snapped Josephine, feeling, as usual, much better now that she knew for certain that Constantia was terrified. 'It's got to be done. But I do wish you wouldn't whisper, Con.'
'I didn't know I was whispering,' whispered Constantia.
'And why do you keep on staring at the bed?' said Josephine, raising her voice almost defiantly. 'There's nothing on the bed.' 'Oh, Jug, don't say so!' said poor Connie. 'At any rate, not so loudly.' Josephine felt herself that she had gone too far. She took a wide swerve over to the chest of drawers, put out her hand, but quickly drew it back again.
'Connie!' she gasped, and she wheeled round and leaned with her back against the chest of drawers. 'Oh, Jug�what?' Josephine could only glare. She had the most extraordinary feeling that she
had just escaped something simply awful. But how could she explain to Constantia that father was in the chest of drawers? He was in the top drawer with his handkerchiefs and neckties, or in the next with his shirts and pyjamas, or in the lowest of all with his suits. He was watching there, hidden away�just behind the door-handle�ready to spring.
She pulled a funny old-fashioned face at Constantia, just as she used to in the old days when she was going to cry.
'I can't open,' she nearly wailed.
'No, don't, Jug,' whispered Constantia earnestly. 'It's much better not to. Don't let's open anything. At any rate, not for a long time.' 'But�but it seems so weak,' said Josephine, breaking down.
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'But why not be weak for once, Jug?' argued Constantia, whispering quite fiercely. 'If it is weak.' And her pale stare flew from the locked writing-table� so safe�to the huge glittering wardrobe, and she began to breathe in a queer, panting way. 'Why shouldn't we be weak for once in our lives, Jug? It's quite excusable. Let's be weak�be weak, Jug. It's much nicer to be weak than to be strong.'
And then she did one of those amazingly bold things that she'd done about twice before in their lives: she marched over to the wardrobe, turned the key, and took it out of the lock. Took it out of the lock and held it up to Josephine, showing Josephine by her extraordinary smile that she knew what she'd done� she'd risked deliberately father being in there among his overcoats.
If the huge wardrobe had lurched forward, had crashed down on Constantia, Josephine wouldn't have been surprised. On the contrary, she would have thought it the only suitable thing to happen. But nothing happened. Only the room seemed quieter than ever, and bigger flakes of cold air fell on Josephine's shoulders and knees. She began to shiver.
'Come, Jug,' said Constantia, still with that awful callous smile; and Josephine followed just as she had that last time, when Constantia had pushed Benny into the round pond.
VII
But the strain told on them when they were back in the dining-room. They sat down, very shaky, and looked at each other. 'I don't feel I can settle to anything,' said Josephine, 'until I've had something. Do you think we could ask Kate for two cups of hot water?' i really don't see why we shouldn't,' said Constantia carefully. She was quite normal again. 'I won't ring. I'll go to the kitchen door and ask her.' 'Yes, do,' said Josephine, sinking down into a chair. 'Tell her, just two cups, Con, nothing else�on a tray.' 'She needn't even put the jug on, need she?' said Constantia, as though Kate might very well complain if the jug had been there. 'Oh, no, certainly not! The jug's not at all necessary. She can pour it direct out of the kettle,' cried Josephine, feeling that would be a labour-saving indeed.
Their cold lips quivered at the greenish brims. Josephine curved her small red hands round the cup; Constantia sat up and blew on the wavy stream, making it flutter from one side to the olher.
'Speaking of Benny,' said Josephine.
And though Benny hadn't been mentioned Constantia immediately looked
as though he had.
'He'll expect us to send him something of father's, of course. But it's so difficult to know what to send to Ceylon.' 'You mean things get unstuck so on the voyage,' murmured Constantia. 'No, lost,' said Josephine sharply. 'You know there's no post. Only runners.' Both paused to watch a black man in white linen drawers running through
the pale fields for dear life, with a large brown-paper parcel in his hands. Josephine's black man was tiny; he scurried along glistening like an ant. But there was something blind and tireless about Constantia's tall, thin fellow, which made him, she decided, a very unpleasant person indeed ... . On the veranda, dressed all in white and wearing a cork helmet, stood Benny. His right hand shook up and down, as father's did when he was impatient. And
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234 0 / {CATHERINE MANSFIELD
behind him, not in the least interested, sat Hilda, the unknown sister-in-law. She swung in a cane rocker and flicked over the leaves of the Tatler.
'I think his watch would be the most suitable present,' said Josephine.
Constantia looked up; she seemed surprised.
'Oh, would you trust a gold watch to a native?'
'But of course I'd disguise it,' said Josephine. 'No one would know it was a watch.' She liked the idea of having to make a parcel such a curious shape that no one could possibly guess what it was. She even thought for a moment of hiding the watch in a narrow cardboard corset-box that she'd kept by her for a long time, waiting for it to come in for something. It was such beautiful firm cardboard. But, no, it wouldn't be appropriate for this occasion. It had lettering on it: Medium Women's 28. Extra Firm Busks. It would be almost too much of a surprise for Benny to open that and find father's watch inside.
'And of course it isn't as though it would be going�ticking, I mean,' said Constantia, who was still thinking of the native love of jewelery. 'At least,' she added, 'it would be very strange if after all that time it was.'
VIII
Josephine made no reply. She had flown off on one of her tangents. She had suddenly thought of Cyril. Wasn't it more usual for the only grandson to have the watch? And then dear Cyril was so appreciative and a gold watch meant so much to a young man. Benny, in all probability, had quite got out of the habit of watches; men so seldom wore waistcoats in those hot climates. Whereas Cyril in London wore them from year's end to year's end. And it would be so nice for her and Constantia, when he came to tea, to know it was there. 'I see you've got on grandfather's watch, Cyril.' It would be somehow so satisfactory.
Dear boy! What a blow his sweet, sympathetic little note had been! Of course they quite understood; but it was most unfortunate.
'It would have been such a point, having him,' said Josephine.
'And he would have enjoyed it so,' said Constantia, not thinking what she was saying. However, as soon as he got back he was coming to tea with his aunties. Cyril to tea was one of their rare treats.
'Now, Cyril, you mustn't be frightened of our cakes. Your Auntie Con and I bought them at Buszard's this morning. We know what a man's appetite is. So don't be ashamed of making a good tea.'
Josephine cut recklessly into the rich dark cake that stood for her winter gloves or the soling and heeling of Constantia's only respectable shoes. But Cyril was most unmanlike in appetite.
'I say, Aunt Josephine, I simply can't. I've only just had lunch, you know.' 'Oh, Cyril, that can't be true! It's after four,' cried Josephine. Constantia sat with her knife poised over the chocolate-roll.
'It is, all the same,' said Cyril. 'I had to meet a man at Victoria,2 and he kept me hanging about till . . . there was only time to get lunch and to come on here. And he gave me�phew'�Cyril put his hand to his forehead�'a terrific blow-out,'3 he said.
2. London railroad station, connecting with the 3. Feast. Channel ports.
.
THE DAUGHTERS OF THE LATE COLONEL / 2341
It was disappointing�today of all days. But still he couldn't be expected to know.
'But you'll have a meringue, won't you, Cyril?' said Aunt Josephine. 'These meringues were bought specially for you. Your dear father was so fond of them. We were sure you are, too.'
'I am, Aunt Josephine,' cried Cyril ardently. 'Do you mind if I take half to begin with?'
'Not at all, dear boy; but we mustn't let you off with that.'
'Is your dear father still so fond of meringues?' asked Auntie Con gently. She winced faintly as she broke through the shell of hers. 'Well, I don't quite know, Auntie Con,' said Cyril breezily. At that they both looked up. 'Don't know?' almost snapped Josephine. 'Don't know a thing like that about your own father, Cyril?'
'Surely,' said Auntie Con softly.
Cyril tried to laugh it off. 'Oh, well,' he said, 'it's such a long time since�' He faltered. He stopped. Their faces were too much for him. 'Even so,' said Josephine. And Auntie Con looked. Cyril put down his teacup. 'Wait a bit,' he cried. 'Wait a bit, Aunt Josephine. What am I thinking of?'
He looked up. They were beginning to brighten. Cyril slapped his knee.
'Of course,' he said, 'it was meringues. How could I have forgotten? Yes, Aunt Josephine, you're perfectly right. Father's most frightfully keen on meringues.' They didn't only beam. Aunt Josephine went scarlet with pleasure; Auntie Con gave a deep, deep sigh. 'And now, Cyril, you must come and see father,' said Josephine. 'He knows you were coming today.' 'Bight,' said Cyril, very firmly and heartily. He got up from his chair; suddenly he glanced at the clock.
'I say, Auntie Con, isn't your clock a bit slow? I've got to meet a man at� at Paddington4 just after five. I'm afraid I shan't be able to stay very long with grandfather.'
'Oh, he won't expect you to stay very long!' said Aunt Josephine.
Constantia was still gazing at the clock. She couldn't make up her mind if it was fast or slow. It was one or the other, she felt almost certain of that. At any rate, it had been.
Cyril still lingered. 'Aren't you coming along, Auntie Con?'
'Of course,' said Josephine, 'we shall all go. Come on, Con.'
IX
They knocked at the door, and Cyril followed his aunts into grandfather's hot, sweetish room. 'Come on,' said Grandfather Pinner. 'Don't hang about. What is it? What've you been up to?' He was sitting in front of a roaring fire, clasping his stick. He had a thick
4. London railroad station, serving the west of England and Wales.
.
234 2 / {CATHERINE MANSFIELD
rug over his knees. On his lap there lay a beautiful pale yellow silk handkerchief. 'It's Cyril, father,' said Josephine shyly. And she took Cyril's hand and led him forward.
'Good afternoon, grandfather,' said Cyril, trying to take his hand out of Aunt Josephine's. Grandfather Pinner shot his eyes at Cyril in the way he was famous for. Where was Auntie Con? She stood on the other side of Aunt Josephine; her long arms hung down in front of her; her hands were clasped. She never took her eyes off grandfather.
'Well,' said Grandfather Pinner, beginning to thump, 'what have you got to tell me?' What had he, what had he got to tell him? Cyril felt himself smiling like a perfect imbecile. The room was stifling, too. But Aunt Josephine came to his rescue. She cried brightly, 'Cyril says his father is still very fond of meringues, father dear.' 'Eh?' said Grandfather Pinner, curving his hand like a purple meringue- shell over one ear.
Josephine repeated, 'Cyril says his father is still very fond of meringues.'
'Can't hear,' said old Colonel Pinner. And he waved Josephine away with his stick, then pointed with his stick to Cyril. 'Tell me what she's trying to say,' he said.
(My God!) 'Must I?' said Cyril, blushing and staring at Aunt Josephine.
'Do, dear,' she smiled. 'It will please him so much.'
'Come on, out with it!' cried Colonel Pinner testily, beginning to thump again. And Cyril leaned forward and yelled, 'Father's still very fond of meringues.' At that Grandfather Pinner jumped as though he had been shot. 'Don't shout!' he cried. 'What's the matter with the boy? Meringues! What
about 'em?'
'Oh, Aunt Josephine, must we go on?' groaned Cyril desperately.
'It's quite all right, dear boy,' said Aunt Josephine, as though he and she
were at the dentist's together. 'He'll understand in a minute.' And she whispered to Cyril, 'He's getting a bit deaf, you know.' Then she leaned forward and really bawled at Grandfather Pinner, 'Cyril only wanted to tell you, father dear, that his father is still very fond of meringues.'
Colonel Pinner heard that time, heard and brooded, looking Cyril up and down. 'What an esstrordinary thing!' said old Grandfather Pinner. 'What an esstrordinary thing to come all this way here to tell me!' And Cyril felt it was.
'Yes, I shall send Cyril the watch,' said Josephine. 'That would be very nice,' said Constantia. 'I seem to remember last time he came there was some little trouble about the time.'
X
They were interrupted by Kate bursting through the door in her usual fashion, as though she had discovered some secret panel in the wall. 'Fried or boiled?' asked the bold voice.
.
THE DAUGHTERS OF THE LATE COLONEL / 2343
Fried or boiled? Josephine and Constantia were quite bewildered for the moment. They could hardly take it in.
'Fried or boiled what, Kate?' asked Josephine, trying to begin to concentrate.
Kate gave a loud sniff. 'Fish.'
'Well, why didn't you say so immediately?' Josephine reproached her gently. 'How could you expect us to understand, Kate? There are a great many things in this world, you know, which are fried or boiled.' And after such a display of courage she said quite brightly to Constantia, 'Which do you prefer, Con?'
'1 think it might be nice to have it fried,' said Constantia. 'On the other hand, of course boiled fish is very nice. I think I prefer both equally well . . . Unless you .. . In that case�'
'I shall fry it,' said Kate, and she bounced back, leaving their door open and slamming the door of her kitchen.
Josephine gazed at Constantia; she raised her pale eyebrows until they rippled away into her pale hair. She got up. She said in a very lofty, imposing way, 'Do you mind following me into the drawing-room, Constantia? Fve something of great importance to discuss with you.'
For it was always to the drawing-room they retired when they wanted to talk over Kate.
Josephine closed the door meaningly. 'Sit down, Constantia,' she said, still very grand. She might have been receiving Constantia for the first time. And Con looked round vaguely for a chair, as though she felt indeed quite a stranger.
'Now the question is,' said Josephine, bending forward, 'whether we shall keep her or not.'
'That is the question,' agreed Constantia.
'And this time,' said Josephine firmly, 'we must come to a definite decision.'
Constantia looked for a moment as though she might begin going over all the other times, but she pulled herself together and said, 'Yes, Jug.'
'You see, Con,' explained Josephine, 'everything is so changed now.' Constantia looked up quickly. 'I mean,' went on Josephine, 'we're not dependent on Kate as we were.' And she blushed faintly. 'There's not father to cook for.'
'That is perfectly true,' agreed Constantia. 'Father certainly doesn't want any cooking now, whatever else�'
Josephine broke in sharply, 'You're not sleepy, are you, Con?'
'Sleepy, Jug?' Constantia was wide-eyed.
'Well, concentrate more,' said Josephine sharply, and she returned to the subject. 'What it comes to is, if we did'�and this she barely breathed, glancing at the door�'give Kate notice'�she raised her voice again�'we could manage our own food.'
'Why not?' cried Constantia. She couldn't help smiling. The idea was so exciting. She clasped her hands. 'What should we live on, Jug?' 'Oh, eggs in various forms!' said Jug, lofty again. 'And, besides, there are all the cooked foods.' 'But I've always heard,' said Constantia, 'they are considered so very expensive.' 'Not if one buys them in moderation,' said Josephine. But she tore herself away from this fascinating bypath and dragged Constantia after her. 'What we've got to decide now, however, is whether we really do trust Kate or not.' Constantia leaned back. Her flat little laugh flew from her lips.
.
234 4 / {CATHERINE MANSFIELD
'Isn't it curious, Jug,' said she, 'that just on this one subject I've never been able to quite make up my mind?'
XI
She never had. The whole difficulty was to prove anything. How did one prove things, how could one? Suppose Kate had stood in front of her and deliberately made a face. Mightn't she very well have been in pain? Wasn't it impossible, at any rate, to ask Kate if she was making a face at her? If Kate answered 'No'�and of course she would say 'No'�what a position! How undignified! Then again Constantia suspected, she was almost certain that Kate went to her chest of drawers when she and Josephine were out, not to take things but to spy. Many times she had come back to find her amethyst cross in the most unlikely places, under her lace ties or on top of her evening Bertha.5 More than once she had laid a trap for Kate. She had arranged things in a special order and then called Josephine to witness.
'You see, Jug?'
'Quite, Con.'
'Now we shall be able to tell.'
But, oh dear, when she did go to look, she was as far off from a proof as ever! If anything was displaced, it might so very well have happened as she closed the drawer; a jolt might have done it so easily.
*You come. Jug, and decide. I really can't. It's too difficult.'
But after a pause and a long glare Josephine would sigh. 'Now you've put the doubt into my mind, Con, I'm sure I can't tell myself.' 'Well, we can't postpone it again,' said Josephine. 'If we postpone it this time�'
XII
But at that moment in the street below a barrel-organ struck up. Josephine and Constantia sprang to their feet together.
'Run, Con,' said Josephine. 'Run quickly. There's sixpence on the�'
Then they remembered. It didn't matter. They would never have to stop the organ-grinder again. Never again would she and Constantia be told to make that monkey take his noise somewhere else. Never would sound that loud, strange bellow when father thought they were not hurrying enough. The organ-grinder might play there all day and the stick would not thump.
It never will thump again, It never will thump again,
played the barrel-organ. What was Constantia thinking? She had such a strange smile; she looked different. She couldn't be going to cry. 'Jug, Jug,' said Constantia softly, pressing her hands together. 'Do you know what day it is? It's Saturday. It's a week today, a whole week.'
A week since father died, A week since father died,
5. Detachable lace collar for low-necked dresses.
.
THE DAUGHTERS OF THE LATE COLONEL / 2345
cried the barrel-organ. And Josephine, too, forgot to be practical and sensible; she smiled faintly, strangely. On the Indian carpet there fell a square of sunlight, pale red; it came and went and came�and stayed, deepened�-until it shone almost golden.
'The sun's out,' said Josephine, as though it really mattered.
A perfect fountain of bubbling notes shook from the barrel-organ, round, bright notes, carelessly scattered.
Constantia lifted her big, cold hands as if to catch them, and then her hands fell again. She walked over to the mantelpiece to her favourite Buddha. And the stone and gilt image, whose smile always gave her such a queer feeling, almost a pain and yet a pleasant pain, seemed today to be more than smiling. He knew something; he had a secret. 'I know something that you don't know,' said her Buddha. Oh, what was it, what could it be? And yet she had always felt there was . . . something.
The sunlight pressed through the windows, thieved its way in, flashed its light over the furniture and the photographs. Josephine watched it. When it came to mother's photograph, the enlargement over the piano, it lingered as though puzzled to find so little remained of mother, except the ear-rings shaped like tiny pagodas and a black feather boa. Why did the photographs of dead people always fade so? wondered Josephine. As soon as a person was dead their photograph died too. But, of course, this one of mother was very old. It was thirty-five years old. Josephine remembered standing on a chair and pointing out that feather boa to Constantia and telling her that it was a snake that had killed their mother in Ceylon ... . Would everything have been different if mother hadn't died? She didn't see why. Aunt Florence had lived with them until they had left school, and they had moved three times and had their yearly holiday and . . . and there'd been changes of servants, of course.
Some little sparrows, young sparrows they sounded, chirped on the window- ledge. Yeep�eyeep�yeep. But Josephine felt they were not sparrows, not on the window-ledge. It was inside her, that queer little crying noise. Yeep� eyeep�yeep. Ah, what was it crying, so weak and forlorn?
If mother had lived, might they have married? But there had been nobody for them to marry. There had been father's Anglo-Indian friends before he quarreled with them. But after that she and Constantia never met a single man except clergymen. How did one meet men? Or even if they'd met them, how could they have got to know men well enough to be more than strangers? One read of people having adventures, being followed, and so on. But nobody had ever followed Constantia and her. Oh yes, there had been one year at Eastbourne6 a mysterious man at their boarding-house who had put a note on the jug of hot water outside their bedroom door! But by the time Connie had found it the steam had made the writing too faint to read; they couldn't even make out to which of them it was addressed. And he had left next day. And that was all. The rest had been looking after father and at the same time keeping out of father's way. But now? But now? The thieving sun touched Josephine gently. She lifted her face. She was drawn over to the window by gentle beams ... .
Until the barrel-organ stopped playing Constantia stayed before the Buddha, wondering, but not as usual, not vaguely. This time her wonder was like longing. She remembered the times she had come in here, crept out of bed in
6. Seaside resort on Sussex coast.
.
2346 / {CATHERINE MANSFIELD
her nightgown when the moon was full, and lain on the floor with her arms outstretched, as though she was crucified. Why? The big, pale moon had made her do it. The horrible dancing figures on the carved screen had leered at her and she hadn't minded. She remembered too how, whenever they were at the seaside, she had gone off by herself and got as close to the sea as she could, and sung something, something she had made up, while she gazed all over that restless water. There had been this other life, running out, bringing things home in bags, getting things on approval, discussing them with Jug, and taking them back to get more things on approval, and arranging father's trays and trying not to annoy father. But it all seemed to have happened in a kind of tunnel. It wasn't real. It was only when she came out of the tunnel into the moonlight or by the sea or into a thunderstorm that she really felt herself. What did it mean? What was it she was always wanting? What did it all lead to? Now? Now?
She turned away from the Buddha with one of her vague gestures. She went over to where Josephine was standing. She wanted to say something to Josephine, something frightfully important, about�about the future and what . . .
'Don't you think perhaps�' she began.
But Josephine interrupted her. 'I was wondering if now�' she murmured. They stopped; they waited for each either. 'Go on, Con,' said Josephine. 'No, no, Jug; after you,' said Constantia. 'No, say what you were going to say. You began,' said Josephine. 'I .. . I'd rather hear what you were going to say first,' said Constantia. 'Don't be absurd, Con.' 'Really, Jug.' 'Connie!' 'oh,jugr A pause. Then Constantia said faintly, 'I can't say what I was going to say,
Jug, because I've forgotten what it was . . . that I was going to say.' Josephine was silent for a moment. She stared at a big cloud where the sun had been. Then she replied shortly, 'I've forgotten too.'
1920 1922
The Garden Party1
And after all the weather was ideal. They could not have had a more perfect day for a garden party if they had ordered it. Windless, warm, the sky without a cloud. Only the blue was veiled with a haze of light gold, as it is sometimes in early summer. The gardener had been up since dawn, mowing the lawns and sweeping them, until the grass and the dark flat rosettes where the daisy plants had been seemed to shine. As for the roses, you could not help feeling they understood that roses are the only flowers that impress people at garden parlies; the only flowers that everybody is certain of knowing. Hundreds, yes, literally hundreds, had come out in a single night; the green bushes bowed down as though they had been visited by archangels.
1. This story draws on an incident from Mansfield's life. In March 1907 her mother gave a garden party in their Wellington house, but a street accident befell a neighbor living in a poor quarter nearby.
.
THE GARDEN PARTY / 2347
Breakfast was not yet over before the men came to put up the marquee.
'Where do you want the marquee put, mother?'
'My dear child, it's no use asking me. I'm determined to leave everything to you children this year. Forget I am your mother. Treat me as an honoured guest.'
But Meg could not possibly go and supervise the men. She had washed her hair before breakfast, and she sat drinking her coffee in a green turban, with a dark wet curl stamped on each cheek. Jose, the butterfly, always came down in a silk petticoat and a kimono jacket.
'You'll have to go, Laura; you're the artistic one.'
Away Laura flew, still holding her piece of bread-and-butter. It's so delicious to have an excuse for eating out of doors, and besides, she loved having to arrange things; she always felt she could do it so much better than anybody else.
Four men in their shirt-sleeves stood grouped together on the garden path. They carried staves covered with rolls of canvas, and they had big tool-bags slung on their backs. They looked impressive. Laura wished now that she had not got the bread-and-butter, but there was nowhere to put it, and she couldn't possibly throw it away. She blushed and tried to look severe and even a little bit short-sighted as she came up to them.
'Good morning,' she said, copying her mother's voice. But that sounded so fearfully affected that she was ashamed, and stammered like a little girl, 'Oh� er�have you come�is it about the marquee?'
'That's right, miss,' said the tallest of the men, a lanky, freckled fellow, and he shifted his tool-bag, knocked back his straw hat and smiled down at her. 'That's about it.'
His smile was so easy, so friendly that Laura recovered. What nice eyes he had, small, but such a dark blue! And now she looked at the others, they were smiling too. 'Cheer up, we won't bite,' their smile seemed to say. How very nice workmen were! And what a beautiful morning! She mustn't mention the morning; she must be business-like. The marquee.
'Well, what about the lily-lawn? Would that do?'
And she pointed to the lily-lawn with the hand that didn't hold the breadand- butter. They turned, they stared in the direction. A little fat chap thrust out his under-lip, and the tall fellow frowned.
'I don't fancy it,' said he. 'Not conspicuous enough. You see, with a thing like a marquee,' and he turned to Laura in his easy way, 'you want to put it somewhere where it'll give you a bang slap in the eye, if you follow me.'
Laura's upbringing made her wonder for a moment whether it was quite respectful of a workman to talk to her of bangs slap in the eye. But she did quite follow him.
'A corner of the tennis-court,' she suggested. 'But the band's going to be in one corner.'
'H'm, going to have a band, are you?' said another of the workmen. He was pale. He had a haggard look as his dark eyes scanned the tennis-court. What was he thinking?
'Only a very small band,' said Laura gently. Perhaps he wouldn't mind so much if the band was quite small. But the tall fellow interrupted. 'Look here, miss, that's the place. Against those trees. Over there. That'll do fine.' Against the karakas. Then the karaka-trees would be hidden. And they were
.
234 8 / {CATHERINE MANSFIELD
so lovely, with their broad, gleaming leaves, and their clusters of yellow fruit. They were like trees you imagined growing on a desert island, proud, solitary, lifting their leaves and fruits to the sun in a kind of silent splendour. Must they be hidden by a marquee?
They must. Already the men had shouldered their staves and were making for the place. Only the tall fellow was left. He bent down, pinched a sprig of lavender, put his thumb and forefinger to his nose and snuffed up the smell. When Laura saw that gesture she forgot all about the karakas in her wonder at him caring for things like that�caring for the smell of lavender. How many men that she knew would have done such a thing? Oh, how extraordinarily nice workmen were, she thought. Why couldn't she have workmen for friends rather than the silly boys she danced with and who came to Sunday night supper? She would get on much better with men like these.
It's all the fault, she decided, as the tall fellow drew something on the back of an envelope, something that was to be looped up or left to hang, of these absurd class distinctions. Well, for her part, she didn't feel them. Not a bit, not an atom . . . And now there came the chock-chock of wooden hammers. Some one whistled, some one sang out, 'Are you right there, matey?' 'Matey!' The friendliness of it, the�the�Just to prove how happy she was, just to show the tall fellow how at home she felt, and how she despised stupid conventions, Laura took a big bite of her bread-and-butter as she stared at the little drawing. She felt just like a work-girl.
'Laura, Laura, where are you? Telephone, Laura!' a voice cried from the house.
'Coming!' Away she skimmed, over the lawn, up the path, up the steps, across the veranda, and into the porch. In the hall her father and Laurie were brushing their hats ready to go to the office.
'I say, Laura,' said Laurie very fast, 'you might just give a squiz2 at my coat before this afternoon. See if it wants pressing.'
'I will,' said she. Suddenly she couldn't stop herself. She ran at Laurie and gave him a small, quick squeeze. 'Oh, I do love parties, don't you?' gasped Laura.
'Ra-ther,' said Laurie's warm, boyish voice, and he squeezed his sister too, and gave her a gentle push. 'Dash off to the telephone, old girl.'
The telephone. 'Yes, yes; oh yes. Kitty? Good morning, dear. Come to lunch? Do, dear. Delighted of course. It will only be a very scratch meal�just the sandwich crusts and broken meringue-shells and what's left over. Yes, isn't it a perfect morning? Your white? Oh, I certainly should. One moment�hold the line. Mother's calling.' And Laura sat back. 'What, mother? Can't hear.'
Mrs Sheridan's voice floated down the stairs. 'Tell her to wear that sweet
hat she had on last Sunday.'
'Mother says you're to wear that sweet hat you had on last Sunday. Good.
One o'clock. Bye-bye.'
Laura put back the receiver, flung her arms over her head, took a deep breath, stretched and let them fall. 'Huh,' she sighed, and the moment after the sigh she sat up quickly. She was still, listening. All the doors in the house seemed to be open. The house was alive with soft, quick steps and running voices. The green baize3 door that led to the kitchen regions swung open and
2. Glance. 3. Coarse woolen.
.
THE GARDEN PARTY / 2349
shut with a muffled thud. And now there came a long, chuckling absurd sound. It was the heavy piano being moved on its stiff castors. But the air! If you stopped to notice, was the air always like this? Little faint winds were playing chase in at the tops of the windows, out at the doors. And there were two tiny spots of sun, one on the inkpot, one on a silver photograph frame, playing too. Darling little spots. Especially the one on the inkpot lid. It was quite warm. A warm little silver star. She could have kissed it.
The front door bell pealed, and there sounded the rustle of Sadie's print skirt on the stairs. A man's voice murmured; Sadie answered, careless, 'I'm sure I don't know. Wait. I'll ask Mrs Sheridan.'
'What is it, Sadie?' Laura came into the hall.
'It's the florist, Miss Laura.'
It was, indeed. There, just inside the door, stood a wide, shallow tray full of pots of pink lilies. No other kind. Nothing but lilies�canna lilies, big pink flowers, wide open, radiant, almost frighteningly alive on bright crimson stems.
'O-oh, Sadie!' said Laura, and the sound was like a little moan. She crouched down as if to warm herself at that blaze of lilies; she felt they were in her fingers, on her lips, growing in her breast.
'It's some mistake,' she said faintly. 'Nobody ever ordered so many. Sadie, go and find mother.'
But at that moment Mrs Sheridan joined them.
'It's quite right,' she said calmly. 'Yes, I ordered them. Aren't they lovely?' She pressed Laura's arm. 'I was passing the shop yesterday, and I saw them in the window. And I suddenly thought for once in my life I shall have enough canna lilies. The garden party will be a good excuse.'
'But I thought you said you didn't mean to interfere,' said Laura. Sadie had gone. The florist's man was still outside at his van. She put her arm round her mother's neck and gently, very gently, she bit her mother's ear.
'My darling child, you wouldn't like a logical mother, would you? Don't do
that. Here's the man.'
He carried more lilies still, another whole tray.
'Bank them up, just inside the door, on both sides of the porch, please,' said Mrs Sheridan. 'Don't you agree, Laura?'
'Oh, I do mother.'
In the drawing-room Meg, Jose and good little Hans had at last succeeded in moving the piano. 'Now, if we put this chesterfield against the wall and move everything out of the room except the chairs, don't you think?'
'Quite.'
'Hans, move these tables into the smoking-room, and bring a sweeper to take these marks off the carpet and�one moment, Hans�' Jose loved giving orders to the servants, and they loved obeying her. She always made them feel they were taking part in some drama. 'Tell mother and Miss Laura to come here at once.'
'Very good, Miss Jose.' She turned to Meg. 'I want to hear what the piano sounds like, just in case I'm asked to sing this afternoon. Let's try over "This life is Weary." '
Pom! Ta-ta-ta Tee-ta! The piano burst out so passionately that Jose's face changed. She clasped her hands. She looked mournfully and enigmatically at her mother and Laura as they came in.
.
2350 / {CATHERINE MANSFIELD
This Life is Wee-ary, A Tear�a Sigh. A Love that Chan-ges,
This Life is Wee-ary, A Tear�a Sigh. A Love that Chan-ges, And then . . . Good-bye!
But at the word 'Good-bye,' and although the piano sounded more desperate than ever, her face broke into a brilliant, dreadfully unsympathetic smile. 'Aren't I in good voice, mummy?' she beamed.
This Life is Wee-ary, Hope comes to Die. A Dream�a Wa-kening.
But now Sadie interrupted them. 'What is it, Sadie?' 'If you please, m'm, cook says have you got the flags4 for the sandwiches?' 'The flags for the sandwiches, Sadie?' echoed Mrs Sheridan dreamily. And
the children knew by her face that she hadn't got them. 'Let me see.' And she
said to Sadie firmly, 'Tell cook I'll let her have them in ten minutes.' Sadie went. 'Now, Laura,' said her mother quickly. 'Come with me into the smoking-
room. I've got the names5 somewhere on the back of an envelope. You'll have to write them out for me. Meg, go upstairs this minute and take that wet thing off your head. Jose, run and finish dressing this instant. Do you hear me, children, or shall I have to tell your father when he comes home to-night? And�and, Jose, pacify cook if you do go into the kitchen, will you? I'm terrified of her this morning.'
The envelope was found at last behind the dining-room clock, though how it had got there Mrs Sheridan could not imagine. 'One of you children must have stolen it out of my bag, because I remember
vividly�cream cheese and lemon-curd. Have you done that?' 'Yes.' 'Egg and� Mrs Sheridan held the envelope away from her. 'It looks like
mice. It can't be mice, can it?' 'Olive, pet,' said Laura, looking over her shoulder. 'Yes, of course, olive. What a horrible combination it sounds. Egg and olive.' They were finished at last, and Laura took them off to the kitchen. She
found Jose there pacifying the cook, who did not look at all terrifying. 'I have never seen such exquisite sandwiches,' said Jose's rapturous voice.
'How many kinds did you say there were, cook? Fifteen?' 'Fifteen, Miss Jose.' 'Well, cook, I congratulate you.' Cook swept up crusts with the long sandwich knife and smiled broadly. 'Godber's has come,' announced Sadie, issuing out of the pantry. She had
seen the man pass the window. That meant the cream puffs had come. Godber's were famous for their cream puffs. Nobody ever thought of making them at home.
4. Little paper flags stuck in a plate of small tri-of gentility. angular sandwiches indicating what is inside the 5. I.e., the names of the sandwich fillings to be sandwiches on each plate�an English custom written on each flag. adopted by the New Zealand middle class as a sign
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THE GARDEN PARTY / 2351
'Bring them in and put them on the table, my girl,' ordered cook.
Sadie brought them in and went back to the door. Of course Laura and Jose were far too grown-up to really care about such things. All the same, they couldn't help agreeing that the puffs looked very attractive. Very. Cook began arranging them, shaking off the extra icing sugar.
'Don't they carry one back to all one's parties?' said Laura. 'I suppose they do,' said practical Jose, who never liked to be carried back. 'They look beautifully light and feathery, I must say.' 'Have one each, my dears,' said cook in her comfortable voice. 'Yer ma won't know.'
Oh, impossible. Fancy cream puffs so soon after breakfast. The very idea made one shudder. All the same, two minutes later Jose and Laura were licking their fingers with that absorbed inward look that only comes from whipped cream.
'Let's go into the garden, out by the back way,' suggested Laura. '1 want to see how the men are getting on with the marquee. They're such awfully nice men.'
But the back door was blocked by cook, Sadie, Godber's man and Hans.
Something had happened.
'Tuk-tuk-tuk,' clucked cook like an agitated hen. Sadie had her hand clapped to her cheek as though she had toothache. Hans's face was screwed up in the effort to understand. Only Godber's man seemed to be enjoying himself; it was his story.
'What's the matter? What's happened?'
'There's been a horrible accident,' said cook. 'A man killed.'
'A man killed! Where? How? When?'
But Godber's man wasn't going to have his story snatched from under his very nose.
'Know those little cottages just below here, miss?' Know them? Of course, she knew them. 'Well, there's a young chap living there, name of Scott, a carter. His horse shied at a traction-engine, corner of Hawke Street this morning, and he was thrown out on the back of his head. Killed.'
'Dead!' Laura stared at Godber's man.
'Dead when they picked him up,' said Godber's man with relish. 'They were taking the body home as I come up here.' And he said to the cook, 'He's left a wife and five little ones.'
'Jose, come here.' Laura caught hold of her sister's sleeve and dragged her through the kitchen to the other side of the green baize door. There she paused and leaned against it. 'Jose!' she said, horrified, 'however are we going to stop everything?'
'Stop everything, Laura!' cried Jose in astonishment. 'What do you mean?'
'Stop the garden party, of course.' Why did Jose pretend?
But Jose was still more amazed. 'Stop the garden party? My dear Laura,
don't be so absurd. Of course we can't do anything of the kind. Nobody expects
us to. Don't be so extravagant.'
'But we can't possibly have a garden party with a man dead just outside the
front gate.'
That really was extravagant, for the little cottages were in a lane to them
selves at the very bottom of a steep rise that led up to the house. A broad road
ran between. True, they were far too near. They were the greatest possible
eyesore, and they had no right to be in that neighbourhood at all. They were
.
2352 / {CATHERINE MANSFIELD
little mean dwellings painted a chocolate brown. In the garden patches there was nothing but cabbage stalks, sick hens and tomato cans. The very smoke coming out of their chimneys was poverty-stricken. Little rags and shreds of smoke, so unlike the great silvery plumes that uncurled from the Sheridans' chimneys. Washerwomen lived in the lane and sweeps and a cobbler, and a man whose house-front was studded all over with minute bird-cages. Children swarmed. When the Sheridans were little they were forbidden to set foot there because of the revolting language and of what they might catch. But since they were grown up, Laura and Laurie on their prowls sometimes walked through. It was disgusting and sordid. They came out with a shudder. But still one must go everywhere; one must see everything. So through they went.
'And just think of what the band would sound like to that poor woman,' said Laura.
'Oh, Laura!' Jose began to be seriously annoyed. 'If you're going to stop a band playing every time some one has an accident, you'll lead a very strenuous life. I'm every bit as sorry about it as you. I feel just as sympathetic.' Her eyes hardened. She looked at her sister just as she used to when they were little and fighting together. 'You won't bring a drunken workman back to life by being sentimental,' she said softly.
'Drunk! Who said he was drunk?' Laura turned furiously on Jose. She said, just as they had used to say on those occasions, 'I'm going straight up to tell mother.'
'Do, dear,' cooed Jose.
'Mother, can I come into your room?' Laura turned the big glass door-knob.
'Of course, child. Why, what's the matter? What's given you such a colour?' And Mrs Sheridan turned round from her dressing-table. She was trying on a
new hat.
'Mother, a man's been killed,' began Laura.
'Not in the garden?' interrupted her mother.
'No, no!'
'Oh, what a fright you gave me!' Mrs Sheridan sighed with relief, and took
off the big hat and held it on her knees.
'But listen, mother,' said Laura. Breathless, half-choking, she told the dreadful story. 'Of course, we can't have our party, can we?' she pleaded. 'The band and everybody arriving. They'd hear us, mother; they're nearly neighbours!'
To Laura's astonishment her mother behaved just like Jose; it was harder to bear because she seemed amused. She refused to take Laura seriously.
'But, my dear child, use your common sense. It's only by accident we've
heard of it. If some one had died there normally�and I can't understand how
they keep alive in those poky little holes�we should still be having our party,
shouldn't we?'
Laura had to say 'yes' to that, but she felt it was all wrong. She sat down on
her mother's sofa and pinched the cushion frill.
'Mother, isn't it really terribly heartless of us?' she asked.
'Darling!' Mrs Sheridan got up and came over to her, carrying the hat. Before Laura could stop her she had popped it on. 'My child!' said her mother, 'the hat is yours. It's made for you. It's much too young for me. I have never seen you look such a picture. Look at yourself!' And she held up her hand-mirror.
'But, mother,' Laura began again. She couldn't look at herself; she turned
aside.
This time Mrs Sheridan lost patience just as Jose had done.
.
THE GARDEN PARTY / 2353
'You are being very absurd, Laura,' she said coldly. 'People like that don't expect sacrifices from us. And it's not very sympathetic to spoil everybody's enjoyment as you're doing now.'
'I don't understand,' said Laura, and she walked quickly out of the room into her own bedroom. There, quite by chance, the first thing she saw was this charming girl in the mirror, in her black hat trimmed with gold daisies, and a long black velvet ribbon. Never had she imagined she could look like that. Is mother right? she thought. And now she hoped her mother was right. Am I being extravagant? Perhaps it was extravagant. Just for a moment she had another glimpse of that poor woman and those little children, and the body being carried into the house. But it all seemed blurred, unreal, like a picture in the newspaper. I'll remember it again after the party's over, she decided. And somehow that seemed quite the best plan . . .
Lunch was over by half past one. By half past two they were all ready for the fray. The green-coated band had arrived and was established in a corner of the tennis-court.
'My dear!' trilled Kitty Maitland, 'aren't they too like frogs for words? You ought to have arranged them round the pond with the conductor in the middle on a leaf.'
Laurie arrived and hailed them on his way to dress. At the sight of him Laura remembered the accident again. She wanted to tell him. If Laurie agreed with the others, then it was bound to be all right. And she followed him into the hall.
'Laurie!'
'Hallo!' He was half-way upstairs, but when he turned round and saw Laura he suddenly puffed out his cheeks and goggled his eyes at her. 'My word, Laura! You do look stunning,' said Laurie. 'What an absolutely topping hat!'
Laura said faintly 'Is it?' and smiled up at Laurie, and didn't tell him after all.
Soon after that people began coming in streams. The band struck up; the hired waiters ran from the house to the marquee. Wherever you looked there were couples strolling, bending to the flowers, greeting, moving on over the lawn. They were like bright birds that had alighted in the Sheridans' garden for this one afternoon, on their way to�where? Ah, what happiness it is to be with people who all are happy, to press hands, press cheeks, smile into eyes.
'Darling Laura, how well you look!'
'What a becoming hat, child!'
'Laura, you look quite Spanish. I've never seen you look so striking.'
And Laura, glowing, answered softly, 'Have you had tea? Won't you have an ice? The passion-fruit ices really are rather special.' She ran to her father and begged him. 'Daddy darling, can't the band have something to drink?' And the perfect afternoon slowly ripened, slowly faded, slowly its petals closed. 'Never a more delightful garden party . . . ' 'The greatest success . . . ' 'Quite the most ..." Laura helped her mother with the goodbyes. They stood side by side in the porch till it was all over.
'All over, all over, thank heaven,' said Mrs Sheridan. 'Round up the others, Laura. Let's go and have some fresh coffee. I'm exhausted. Yes, it's been very successful. But oh, these parties, these parties! Why will you children insist on giving parties!' And they all of them sat down in the deserted marquee.
.
235 4 / {CATHERINE MANSFIELD
'Have a sandwich, daddy dear. I wrote the flag.'
'Thanks.' Mr Sheridan took a bite and the sandwich was gone. He took another. 'I suppose you didn't hear of a beastly accident that happened today?' he said.
'My dear,' said Mrs Sheridan, holding up her hand, 'we did. It nearly ruined the party. Laura insisted we should put it off.'
'Oh, mother!' Laura didn't want to be teased about it.
'It was a horrible affair all the same,' said Mr Sheridan. 'The chap was married too. Lived just below in the lane, and leaves a wife and half a dozen kiddies, so they say.' An awkward little silence fell. Mrs Sheridan fidgeted with her cup. Really, it was very tactless of father . . .
Suddenly she looked up. There on the table were all those sandwiches, cakes, puffs, all un-eaten, all going to be wasted. She had one of her brilliant ideas.
'I know,' she said. 'Let's make up a basket. Let's send that poor creature some of this perfectly good food. At any rate, it will be the greatest treat for the children. Don't you agree? And she's sure to have neighbours calling in and so on. What a point to have it all ready prepared. Laura!' She jumped up. 'Get me the big basket out of the stairs cupboard.'
'But, mother, do you really think it's a good idea?' said Laura. Again, how curious, she seemed to be different from them all. To take scraps from their party. Would the poor woman really like that? 'Of course! What's the matter with you today? An hour or two ago you were insisting on us being sympathetic, and now�'
Oh well! Laura ran for the basket. It was filled, it was heaped by her mother.
'Take it yourself, darling,' said she. 'Run down just as you are. No, wait, take the arum lilies too. People of that class are so impressed by arum lilies.' 'The stems will ruin her lace frock,' said practical Jose. So they would. Just in time. 'Only the basket, then. And, Laura!'�her mother followed her out of the marquee�'don't on any account�'
'What mother?'
No, better not put such ideas into the child's head! 'Nothing! Run along.'
It was just growing dusky as Laura shut their garden gates. A big dog ran by like a shadow. The road gleamed white, and down below in the hollow the little cottages were in deep shade. How quiet it seemed after the afternoon. Here she was going down the hill to somewhere where a man lay dead, and she couldn't realize it. Why couldn't she? She stopped a minute. And it seemed to her that kisses, voices, tinkling spoons, laughter, the smell of crushed grass were somehow inside her. She had no room for anything else. How strange! She looked up at the pale sky, and all she thought was, 'Yes, it was the most successful.'
Now the broad road was crossed. The lane began, smoky and dark. Women in shawls and men's tweed caps hurried by. Men hung over the palings; the children played in the doorways. A low hum came from the mean little cottages. In some of them there was a flicker of light, and a shadow, crab-like, moved across the window. Laura bent her head and hurried on. She wished now she had put on a coat. How her frock shone! And the big hat with the velvet streamer�if only it was another hat! Were the people looking at her? They must be. It was a mistake to have come; she knew all along it was a mistake. Should she go back even now?
.
THE GARDEN PARTY / 2355
No, too late. This was the house. It must be. A dark knot of people stood outside. Beside the gate an old, old woman with a crutch sat in a chair, watching. She had her feet on a newspaper. The voices stopped as Laura drew near. The group parted. It was as though she was expected, as though they had known she was coming here.
Laura was terribly nervous. Tossing the velvet ribbon over her shoulder, she said to a woman standing by, 'Is this Mrs Scott's house?' and the woman, smiling queerly, said, 'It is, my lass.'
Oh, to be away from this! She actually said, 'Help me, God,' as she walked up the tiny path and knocked. To be away from those staring eyes, or to be covered up in anything, one of those women's shawls even. I'll just leave the basket and go, she decided. 1 shan't even wait for it to be emptied.
Then the door opened. A little woman in black showed in the gloom. Laura said, 'Are you Mrs Scott?' But to her horror the woman answered, 'Walk in please, miss,' and she was shut in the passage. 'No,' said Laura, 'I don't want to come in. I only want to leave this basket. Mother sent�' The little woman in the gloomy passage seemed not to have heard her. 'Step this way, please, miss,' she said in an oily voice, and Laura followed her. She found herself in a wretched little low kitchen, lighted by a smoky lamp. There was a woman sitting before the fire.
'Em,' said the little creature who had let her in. 'Em! It's a young lady.' She turned to Laura. She said meaningly, 'I'm her sister, Miss. You'll excuse 'er, won't you?'
'Oh, but of course!' said Laura. 'Please, please don't disturb her. 1�I only want to leave�'
But at that moment the woman at the fire turned round. Her face, puffed up, red, with swollen eyes and swollen lips, looked terrible. She seemed as though she couldn't understand why Laura was there. What did it mean? Why was this stranger standing in the kitchen with a basket? What was it all about? And the poor face puckered up again.
'All right, my dear,' said the other. 'I'll thenk the young lady.' And again she began, 'You'll excuse her, miss, I'm sure,' and her face, swollen too, tried an oily smile.
Laura only wanted to get out, to get away. She was back in the passage. The door opened. She walked straight through into the bedroom where the dead man was lying.
'You'd like a look at 'im, wouldn't you?' said Em's sister, and she brushed past Laura over to the bed. 'Don't be afraid, my lass,'�and now her voice sounded fond and sly, and fondly she drew down the sheet�' 'e looks a picture. There's nothing to show. Come along, my dear.'
Laura came.
There lay a young man, fast asleep�sleeping so soundly, so deeply, that he was far, far away from them both. Oh, so remote, so peaceful. He was dreaming. Never wake him up again. His head was sunk in the pillow, his eyes were closed; they were blind under the closed eyelids. He was given up to his dream. What did garden parties and baskets and lace frocks matter to him? He was far from all those things. He was wonderful, beautiful. While they were laughing and while the band was playing, this marvel had come to the lane. Happy . . . happy . . . All is well, said that sleeping face. This is just as it should be. I am content.
.
2356 / JEAN RHYS
But all the same you had to cry, and she couldn't go out of the room without saying something to him. Laura gave a loud childish sob.
'Forgive my hat,' she said.
And this time she didn't wait for Em's sister. She found her way out of the door, down the path, past all those dark people. At the corner of the lane she met Laurie.
He stepped out of the shadow. 'Is that you, Laura?'
'Yes.'
'Mother was getting anxious. Was it all right?'
'Yes, quite. Oh, Laurie!' She took his arm, she pressed up against him.
'I say, you're not crying, are you?' asked her brother.
Laura shook her head. She was.
Laurie put his arm round her shoulder. 'Don't cry,' he said in his warm, loving voice. 'Was it awful?'
'No,' sobbed Laura. 'It was simply marvellous. But, Laurie�' She stopped, she looked at her brother. 'Isn't life,' she stammered, 'isn't life�' But what life was she couldn't explain. No matter. He quite understood.
'Isn't it, darling?' said Laurie.
1921 1922
JEAN RHYS 1890-1979
Jean Rhys was born Ella Gwendolen Rees Williams on the small island of Dominica in the West Indies. Her father was a Welsh doctor; her mother, a Creole (that is, a white West Indian) descended from wealthy, slave-holding plantation owners. Rhys was educated at a convent school in Roseau, Dominica, before, at the age of seventeen, leaving Dominica to attend the Perse School in Cambridge, England; she returned to her birthplace only once, in 1936. Her feelings toward her Caribbean background and childhood were mixed: she deeply appreciated the rich sensations and cross-racial engagements of her tropical experience, yet she was haunted by the knowledge of her violent heritage and carried a heavy burden of historical guilt. As a West Indian she felt estranged from mainstream European culture and identified with the suffering of Afro-Caribbeans, yet as a white Creole she grew up feeling out of place amid the predominantly black population of Dominica.
After studying briefly at the Academy of Dramatic Art in London, Rhys worked as a traveling chorus girl, mannequin, film extra, and�during World War I�volunteer cook. In 1919 she left England to marry the first of three husbands, and for many years she lived abroad, mainly in Paris, where she began to write the stories of her first book, The Left Bank: Sketches and Studies of Present-Day Bohemian Paris (1927). It was published with an introduction by the established novelist and poet Ford Madox Ford, who was for a time her lover. Ford grasped the link between her vulnerability as a person and her strength as a writer; he perceived her "terrifying insight . . . and passion for stating the case of the underdog." Rhys declared, "I have only ever written about myself," and indeed much of her writing is semiautobiographical. Her fiction frequently depicts single, economically challenged women, rootless outsiders living in bohemian London or Paris. Her early "sketches" were followed by her first novel, Postures (1928, reprinted as Quartet in 1969), in part an account of her affair with Ford; After Leaving Mr. Mackenzie (1930), about sexual betrayal; Voyage in the Dark
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THE DAY THEY BURNED THE BOOKS / 235 7
(1934), an account of a nineteen-year-old chorus girl in London who has come from Dominica; and Good Morning, Midnight (1939), another first-person narrative of a lonely drifter, this time in Paris.
She published nothing more for many years, dropping out of sight and often living in poverty, until, following the enthusiastic reception of a radio adaptation of Good Morning, Midnight in 1957, she began to work in earnest on her masterpiece, Wide Sargasso Sea (1966). In this novel, set in Jamaica and Dominica in the 1830s and
1840s, Rhys returns to her Caribbean childhood and, in a brilliant act of imaginative sympathy, creates a West Indian prehistory for the first Mrs. Rochester, the madwoman in the attic of Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre. Altogether Rhys worked on the novel for twenty-one years, amid bouts of depression, loneliness, and alcoholism, but its immediate acclaim gave her the recognition she had so long been denied. She continued to publish works of fiction and autobiography and in the year before her death received the Commander of the Order of the British Empire.
During the long period when she was writing Wide Sargasso Sea, Rhys produced only two published stories, both of which draw like the novel on her Caribbean youth. In "The Day They Burned the Books," set in the West Indies, a white girl who only partly understands the painful entanglements of class, race, and cultural prejudice tells how a lower-class Englishman has accumulated a trove of books he values for their cultural prestige, while his mulatto wife, embittered by her husband's racism, comes to despise them as emblems of British imperial oppression. "Let Them Call It Jazz" also has a first-person female narrator, but this time she is a West Indian mulatto, who speaks in West Indian English of her struggle against racial and class barriers after immigrating to London, an outsider in the metropolitan heart of the empire, ultimately jailed�as was Rhys for a few days after assaulting a neighbor�in Royal Holloway Prison. The shattering of a stained-glass window in this story�like the book burning in the first story and the house burning in Wide Sargasso Sea� represents an eruption of Afro-Caribbean rage in response to the circumscriptions and deceptions of white racism.
Whether working in Standard or West Indian English, Rhys is one of the great prose stylists of the twentieth century, her language spare yet lyrical, her sentences exactingly written and rewritten to suggest the most in the fewest possible words. Her writing is almost painfully alert to sensory detail, sensitive to the terrible fears and frustrated longings of marginalized people, and fierce in its unmasking of the social and psychic consequences of racial and gender oppression.
The Day They Burned the Books
My friend Eddie was a small, thin boy. You could see the blue veins in his wrists and temples. People said that he had consumption1 and wasn't long for this world. I loved, but sometimes despised him.
His father, Mr Sawyer, was a strange man. Nobody could make out what he was doing in our part of the world at all. He was not a planter or a doctor or a lawyer or a banker. He didn't keep a store. He wasn't a schoolmaster or a government official. He wasn't�that was the point�a gentleman. We had several resident romantics who had fallen in love with the moon on the Caribees2� they were all gentlemen and quite unlike Mr Sawyer who hadn't an 'h' in his composition.3 Besides, he detested the moon and everything else about the Caribbean and he didn't mind telling you so.
1. Wasting of the body associated with tubercu-in the southeastern West Indies, now called the losis. Lesser Antilles. 2. Or Caribbees: old term for the group of islands 3. His pronunciation marks him as lower-class.
.
2358 / JEAN RHYS
He was agent for a small steamship line which in those days linked up Venezuela and Trinidad4 with the smaller islands, but he couldn't make much out of that. He must have a private income, people decided, but they never decided why he had chosen to settle in a place he didn't like and to marry a coloured woman. Though a decent, respectable, nicely educated coloured woman, mind you.
Mrs Sawyer must have been very pretty once but, what with one thing and another, that was in days gone by. When Mr Sawyer was drunk�this often happened�he used to be very rude to her. She never answered him.
'Look at the nigger showing off,' he would say; and she would smile as if she knew she ought to see the joke but couldn't. 'You damned, long-eyed, gloomy half-caste,5 you don't smell right,' he would say; and she never answered, not even to whisper, 'You don't smell right to me, either.'
The story went that once they had ventured to give a dinner party and that when the servant, Mildred, was bringing in coffee, he had pulled Mrs Sawyer's hair. 'Not a wig, you see,' he bawled. Even then, if you can believe it, Mrs Sawyer had laughed and tried to pretend that it was all part of the joke, this mysterious, obscure, sacred English joke.
But Mildred told the other servants in the town that her eyes had gone wicked, like a soucriant's6 eyes, and that afterwards she had picked up some of the hair he pulled out and put it in an envelope, and that Mr Sawyer ought to look out (hair is obeah7 as well as hands).
Of course, Mrs Sawyer had her compensations. They lived in a very pleasant house in Hill Street. The garden was large and they had a fine mango tree, which bore prolifically. The fruit was small, round, very sweet and juicy�a lovely, red-and-yellow colour when it was ripe. Perhaps it was one of the compensations, I used to think.
Mr Sawyer built a room on to the back of this house. It was unpainted inside and the wood smelt very sweet. Bookshelves lined the walls. Every time the Royal Mail steamer8 came in it brought a package for him, and gradually the empty shelves filled.
Once I went there with Eddie to borrow The Arabian Nights,9 That was on a Saturday afternoon, one of those hot, still afternoons when you felt that everything had gone to sleep, even the water in the gutters. But Mrs Sawyer was not asleep. She put her head in at the door and looked at us, and I knew that she hated the room and hated the books.
It was Eddie with the pale blue eyes and straw-coloured hair�the living image of his father, though often as silent as his mother�who first infected me with doubts about 'home', meaning England. He would be so quiet when others who had never seen it�none of us had ever seen it�were talking about its delights, gesticulating freely as we talked�London, the beautiful, rosy- cheeked ladies, the theatres, the shops, the fog, the blazing coal fires in winter, the exotic food (whitebait1 eaten to the sound of violins), strawberries and
4. Formerly British, Caribbean island off north-Company, that ferried mail from London to the east Venezuela. West Indies beginning in 1841. 5. Offensive term for a person of mixed racial 9. Also called The Thousand and One Nights, a descent. collection of old stories, largely Persian, Arabian, 6. Female vampire, in Caribbean legend. and Indian in origin. 7. A charm or fetish used in Afro-Caribbean 1. Young of a small fish, such as herring, considwitchcraft or sorcery. ered a delicacy when cooked whole. 8. Ship, owned by the Royal Mail Steam Packet
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THE DAY THEY BURNED THE BOOKS / 2359
cream�the word 'strawberries' always spoken with a guttural and throaty sound which we imagined to be the proper English pronunciation.
'I don't like strawberries,' Eddie said on one occasion.
'You don't like strawberries?'
'No, and I don't like daffodils either. Dad's always going on about them. He says they lick the flowers here into a cocked hat2 and I bet that's a lie.'
We were all too shocked to say, 'You don't know a thing about it.' We were so shocked that nobody spoke to him for the rest of the day. But I for one admired him. I also was tired of learning and reciting poems in praise of daffodils, and my relations with the few 'real' English boys and girls I had met were awkward. I had discovered that if I called myself English they would snub me haughtily: 'You're not English; you're a horrid colonial.' 'Well, I don't much want to be English,' I would say. 'It's much more fun to be French or Spanish or something like that�and, as a matter of fact, I am a bit.' Then I was too killingly funny, quite ridiculous. Not only a horrid colonial, but also ridiculous. Heads I win, tails you lose�that was the English. I had thought about all this, and thought hard, but I had never dared to tell anybody what I thought and I realized that Eddie had been very bold.
But he was bold, and stronger than you would think. For one thing, he never felt the heat; some coldness in his fair skin resisted it. He didn't burn red or brown, he didn't freckle much.
Hot days seemed to make him feel especially energetic. 'Now we'll run twice round the lawn and then you can pretend you're dying of thirst in the desert and that I'm an Arab chieftain bringing you water.'
'You must drink slowly,' he would say, 'for if you're very thirsty and you drink quickly you die.'
So I learnt the voluptuousness of drinking slowly when you are very thirsty� small mouthful by small mouthful, until the glass of pink, iced Coca-Cola was empty.
Just after my twelfth birthday Mr Sawyer died suddenly, and as Eddie's special friend I went to the funeral, wearing a new white dress. My straight hair was damped with sugar and water the night before and plaited into tight little plaits, so that it should be fluffy for the occasion.
When it was all over everybody said how nice Mrs Sawyer had looked, walking like a queen behind the coffin and crying her eyeballs out at the right moment, and wasn't Eddie a funny boy? He hadn't cried at all.
After this Eddie and I took possession of the room with the books. No one else ever entered it, except Mildred to sweep and dust in the mornings, and gradually the ghost of Mr Sawyer pulling Mrs Sawyer's hair faded, though this took a little time. The blinds were always halfway down and going in out of the sun was like stepping into a pool of brown-green water. It was empty except for the bookshelves, a desk with a green baize3 top and a wicker rocking-chair.
'My room,' Eddie called it. 'My books,' he would say, 'my books.'
I don't know how long this lasted. I don't know whether it was weeks after Mr Sawyer's death or months after, that I see myself and Eddie in the room. But there we are and there, unexpectedly, are Mrs Sawyer and Mildred. Mrs Sawyer's mouth tight, her eyes pleased. She is pulling all the books out of the
2. From knocked into a cocked hat: make them Indies. look terrible by comparison. Daffodils are common 3. Feltlike fabric. in English poetry, but do not grow in the West
.
2360 / JEAN RHYS
shelves and piling them into two heaps. The big, fat glossy ones�the good- looking ones, Mildred explains in a whisper�lie in one heap. The Encyclopaedia Britannica, British Flowers, Birds and Beasts, various histories, books with maps, Froude's English in the West Indies4 and so on�they are going to be sold. The unimportant books, with paper covers or damaged covers or torn pages, lie in another heap. They are going to be burnt�yes, burnt.
Mildred's expression was extraordinary as she said that�half hugely delighted, half shocked, even frightened. And as for Mrs Sawyer�well, I knew bad temper (I had often seen it), I knew rage, but this was hate. I recognized the difference at once and stared at her curiously. I edged closer to her so that 1 could see the titles of the books she was handling.
It was the poetry shelf. Poems, Lord Byron, Poetical Works, Milton, and so on. Vlung, vlung, vlung�all thrown into the heap that were to be sold. But a book by Christina Rossetti, though also bound in leather, went into the heap that was to be burnt, and by a flicker in Mrs Sawyer's eyes I knew that worse than men who wrote books were women who wrote books�infinitely worse. Men could be mercifully shot; women must be tortured.
Mrs Sawyer did not seem to notice that we were there, but she was breathing free and easy and her hands had got the rhythm of tearing and pitching. She looked beautiful, too�beautiful as the sky outside which was a very dark blue, or the mango tree, long sprays of brown and gold.
When Eddie said 'no', she did not even glance at him.
'No,' he said again in a high voice. 'Not that one. I was reading that one.'
She laughed and he rushed at her, his eyes starting out of his head, shrieking, 'Now I've got to hate you too. Now I hate you too.' He snatched the book out of her hand and gave her a violent push. She fell into the rocking-chair. Well, I wasn't going to be left out of all this, so I grabbed a book from the condemned pile and dived under Mildred's outstretched arm.
Then we were both in the garden. We ran along the path, bordered with crotons.5 We pelted down the path though they did not follow us and we could hear Mildred laughing�kyah, kyah, kyah, kyah. As I ran I put the book I had taken into the loose front of my brown holland dress. It felt warm and alive.
When we got into the street we walked sedately, for we feared the black children's ridicule. I felt very happy, because I had saved this book and it was my book and I would read it from the beginning to the triumphant words 'The End'. But I was uneasy when I thought of Mrs Sawyer.
'What will she do?' I said.
'Nothing,' Eddie said. 'Not to me.'
He was white as a ghost in his sailor suit, a blue-white even in the setting
sun, and his father's sneer was clamped on his face.
'But she'll tell your mother all sorts of lies about you,' he said. 'She's an awful liar. She can't make up a story to save her life, but she makes up lies about people all right.'
'My mother won't take any notice of her,' I said. Though I was not at all
sure.
'Why not? Because she's . . . because she isn't white?'
Well, I knew the answer to that one. Whenever the subject was brought
4. Published in 1888 by the English historian 5. Tropical plants. James Anthony Froude (1818-1894).
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LET THEM CALL IT JAZZ / 2361
up�people's relations and whether they had a drop of coloured blood or whether they hadn't�my father would grow impatient and interrupt. 'Who's white?' he would say. 'Damned few.'
So I said, 'Who's white? Damned few.'
'You can go to the devil,' Eddie said. 'She's prettier than your mother. When she's asleep her mouth smiles and she has your curling eyelashes and quantities and quantities and quantities of hair.'
'Yes,' I said truthfully. 'She's prettier than my mother.'
It was a red sunset that evening, a huge, sad, frightening sunset.
'Look, let's go back,' I said. 'If you're sure she won't be vexed with you, let's go back. It'll be dark soon.' At his gate he asked me not to go. 'Don't go yet, don't go yet.' We sat under the mango tree and I was holding his hand when he began to
cry. Drops fell on my hand like the water from the dripstone in the filter6 in our yard. Then I began to cry too and when I felt my own tears on my hand I thought, 'Now perhaps we're married.'
'Yes, certainly, now we're married,' I thought. But I didn't say anything. I didn't say a thing until I was sure he had stopped. Then I asked, 'What's your book?'
'It's Kim,'7 he said. 'But it got torn. It starts at page twenty now. What's the one you took?'
'I don't know, it's too dark to see,' I said.
When I got home I rushed into my bedroom and locked the door because I knew that this book was the most important thing that had ever happened to me and I did not want anybody to be there when I looked at it. But I was very disappointed, because it was in French and seemed dull. Fort Comme La Mort,8 it was called. . . .
1960
Let Them Call It Jazz
One bright Sunday morning in July I have trouble with my Notting Hill1 landlord because he ask for a month's rent in advance. He tell me this after I live there since winter, settling up every week without fail. I have no job at the time, and if 1 give the money he want there's not much left. So I refuse. The man drunk already at that early hour, and he abuse me�all talk, he can't frighten me. But his wife is a bad one�now she walk in my room and say she must have cash. When I tell her no, she give my suitcase one kick and it burst open. My best dress fall out, then she laugh and give another kick. She say month in advance is usual, and if I can't pay find somewhere else.
Don't talk to me about London. Plenty people there have heart like stone. Any complaint�the answer is 'prove it'. But if nobody see and bear witness for me, how to prove anything? So I pack up and leave. I think better not have dealings with that woman. She too cunning, and Satan don't lie worse.
6. Dripstone is a sandstone used as a filter to clean 8. Strong as Death, 1889 novel by the French water for household use. writer Guy de Maupassant (1 850-1893). 7. Novel (1901) by the English writer Rudyard 1. Area of London, then slums with Afro- Kipling (1865�1936), about an Irish orphan boy Caribbean immigrants. growing up in India.
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2362 / JEAN RHYS
I walk about till a place nearby is open where I can have coffee and a sandwich. There I start talking to a man at my table. He talk to me already, I know him, but I don't know his name. After a while he ask, 'What's the matter? Anything wrong?' and when I tell him my trouble he say I can use an empty flat he own till I have time to look around.
This man is not at all like most English people. He see very quick, and he decide very quick. English people take long time to decide�you three-quarter dead before they make up their mind about you. Too besides, he speak very matter of fact, as if it's nothing. He speak as if he realize well what it is to live like I do�that's why I accept and go.
He tell me somebody occupy the flat till last week, so I find everything all right, and he tell me how to get there�three-quarters of an hour from Victoria Station,2 up a steep hill, turn left, and 1 can't mistake the house. He give me the keys and an envelope with a telephone number on the back. Underneath is written 'After 6 P.M. ask for Mr Sims'.
In the train that evening I think myself lucky, for to walk about London on a Sunday with nowhere to go�that take the heart out of you.
I find the place and the bedroom of the downstairs flat is nicely furnished� two looking glass, wardrobe, chest of drawers, sheets, everything. It smell of jasmine scent, but it smell strong of damp too.
I open the door opposite and there's a table, a couple chairs, a gas stove and a cupboard, but this room so big it look empty. When I pull the blind up I notice the paper peeling off and mushrooms growing on the walls�you never see such a thing.
The bathroom the same, all the taps rusty. I leave the two other rooms and make up the bed. Then I listen, but I can't hear one sound. Nobody come in, nobody go out of that house. 1 lie awake for a long time, then I decide not to stay and in the morning I start to get ready quickly before I change my mind. I want to wear my best dress, but it's a funny thing�when I take up that dress and remember how my landlady kick it I cry. I cry and I can't stop. When I stop I feel tired to my bones, tired like old woman. I don't want to move again� I have to force myself. But in the end I get out in the passage and there's a postcard for me. 'Stay as long as you like. I'll be seeing you soon�Friday probably. Not to worry.' It isn't signed, but I don't feel so sad and I think, 'All right, I wait here till he come. Perhaps he know of a job for me.'
Nobody else live in the house but a couple on the top floor�quiet people
and they don't trouble me. I have no word to say against them.
First time I meet the lady she's opening the front door and she give me a
very inquisitive look. But next time she smile a bit and I smile back�once she
talk to me. She tell me the house very old, hundred and fifty year old, and she
had her husband live there since long time. 'Valuable property,' she says, 'it
could have been saved, but nothing done of course.' Then she tells me that as
to the present owner�if he is the owner�well he have to deal with local
authorities and she believe they make difficulties. 'These people are deter
mined to pull down all the lovely old houses�it's shameful.'
So I agree that many things shameful. But what to do? What to do? I say it
have an elegant shape, it make the other houses in the street look cheap trash,
and she seem pleased. That's true too. The house sad and out of place, espe
cially at night. But it have style. The second floor shut up, and as for my flat,
I go in the two empty rooms once, but never again.
2. Train station in London.
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LET THEM CALL IT JAZZ / 2363
Underneath was the cellar, full of old boards and broken-up furniture�I see a big rat there one day. It was no place to be alone in I tell you, and I get the habit of buying a bottle of wine most evenings, for I don't like whisky and the rum here no good. It don't even taste like rum. You wonder what they do to it.
After I drink a glass or two I can sing and when I sing all the misery goes from my heart. Sometimes I make up songs but next morning I forget them, so other times I sing the old ones like 'Tantalizin' ' or 'Don't Trouble Me Now.'
I think I go but I don't go. Instead I wait for the evening and the wine and that's all. Everywhere else I live�well, it doesn't matter to me, but this house is different�empty and no noise and full of shadows, so that sometimes you ask yourself what make all those shadows in an empty room.
I eat in the kitchen, then I clean up everything and have a bath for coolness. Afterwards I lean my elbows on the windowsill and look at the garden. Red and blue flowers mix up with the weeds and there are five-six apple trees. But the fruit drop and lie in the grass, so sour nobody want it. At the back, near the wall, is a bigger tree�this garden certainly take up a lot of room, perhaps that's why they want to pull the place down.
Not much rain all the summer, but not much sunshine either. More of a glare. The grass get brown and dry, the weeds grow tall, the leaves on the trees hang down. Only the red flowers�the poppies�stand up to that light, everything else look weary.
1 don't trouble about money, but what with wine and shillings for the slotmeters, 3 it go quickly; so I don't waste much on food. In the evening I walk outside�not by the apple trees but near the street�it's not so lonely.
There's no wall here and I can see the woman next door looking at me over the hedge. At first I say good evening, but she turn away her head, so afterwards I don't speak. A man is often with her, he wear a straw hat with a black ribbon and goldrim spectacles. His suit hang on him like it's too big. He's the husband it seems and he stare at me worse than his wife�he stare as if I'm wild animal let loose. Once I laugh in his face because why these people have to be like that? I don't bother them. In the end I get that I don't even give them one single glance. I have plenty other things to worry about.
To show you how I felt. I don't remember exactly. But I believe it's the second Saturday after I come that when I'm at the window just before, I go for my wine I feel somebody's hand on my shoulder and it's Mr Sims. He must walk very quiet because I don't know a thing till he touch me.
He says hullo, then he tells me I've got terrible thin, do I ever eat. I say of course I eat but he goes on that it doesn't suit me at all to be so thin and he'll buy some food in the village. (That's the way he talk. There's no village here. You don't get away from London so quick.)
It don't seem to me he look very well himself, but 1 just say bring a drink instead, as I am not hungry.
He come back with three bottles�vermouth, gin and red wine. Then he ask if the little devil who was here last smash all the glasses and I tell him she smash some, I find the pieces. But not all. 'You fight with her, eh?'
He laugh, and he don't answer. He pour out the drinks then he says, 'Now, you eat up those sandwiches.' Some men when they are there you don't worry so much. These sort of men you do all they tell you blindfold because they can take the trouble from your
Coin-fed meters for gas and electricity.
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2364 / JEAN RHYS
heart and make you think you're safe. It's nothing they say or do. It's a feeling they can give you. So I don't talk with him seriously�I don't want to spoil that evening. But I ask about the house and why it's so empty and he says:
'Has the old trout upstairs been gossiping?'
I tell him, 'She suppose they make difficulties for you.'
'It was a damn bad buy,' he says and talks about selling the lease or something. I don't listen much.
We were standing by the window then and the sun low. No more glare. He puts his hand over my eyes. 'Too big�much too big for your face,' he says and kisses me like you kiss a baby. When he takes his hand away I see he's looking out at the garden and he says this�'It gets you. My God it does.'
I know very well it's not me he means, so I ask him, 'Why sell it then? If you like it, keep it.'
'Sell what?' he says. 'I'm not talking about this damned house.'
I ask what he's talking about. 'Money,' he says. 'Money. That's what I'm talking about. Ways of making it.'
'I don't think so much of money. It don't like me and what do I care?' I was joking, but he turns around, his face quite pale and he tells me I'm a fool. He tells me I'll get pushed around all my life and die like a dog, only worse because they'd finish off a dog, but they'll let me live till I'm a caricature of myself. That's what he say, 'Caricature of yourself.' He say I'll curse the day I was born and everything and everybody in this bloody world before I'm done.
I tell him, 'No I'll never feel like that,' and he smiles, if you can call it a smile, and says he's glad I'm content with my lot. 'I'm disappointed in you, Selina. I thought you had more spirit.'
'If I contented that's all right,' I answer him. 'I don't see very many looking contented over here.' We're standing staring at each other when the doorbell rings. 'That's a friend of mine,' he says. 'I'll let him in.'
As to the friend, he's all dressed up in stripe pants and a black jacket and he's carrying a brief-case. Very ordinary looking but with a soft kind of voice.
'Maurice, this is Selina Davis,' says Mr Sims, and Maurice smiles very kind but it don't mean much, then he looks at his watch and says they ought to be getting along.
At the door Mr Sims tells me he'll see me next week and I answer straight out, 'I won't be here next week because I want a job and I won't get one in this place.'
'Just what I'm going to talk about. Give it a week longer, Selina.'
I say, 'Perhaps I stay a few more days. Then I go. Perhaps I go before.'
'Oh no you won't go,' he says.
They walk to the gates quickly and drive off in a yellow car. Then I feel eyes on me and it's the woman and her husband in the next door garden watching. The man make some remark and she look at me so hateful, so hating I shut the front door quick.
I don't want more wine. I want to go to bed early because I must think. I must think about money. It's true I don't care for it. Even when somebody steal my savings�this happen soon after I get to the Notting Hill house�I forget it soon. About thirty pounds they steal. I keep it roll up in a pair of stockings, but I go to the drawer one day, and no money. In the end I have to tell the police. They ask me exact sum and I say I don't count it lately, about thirty pounds. 'You don't know how much?' they say. 'When did you count it last? Do you remember? Was it before you move or after?'
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LET THEM CALL IT JAZZ / 2365
I get confuse, and I keep saying, 'I don't remember,' though I remember well I see it two days before. They don't believe me and when a policeman come to the house I hear the landlady tell him, 'She certainly had no money when she came here. She wasn't able to pay a month's rent in advance for her room though it's a rule in this house.' 'These people terrible liars,' she say and I think 'it's you a terrible liar, because when I come you tell me weekly or monthly as you like.' It's from that time she don't speak to me and perhaps it's she take it. All I know is I never see one penny of my savings again, all I know is they pretend I never have any, but as it's gone, no use to cry about it. Then my mind goes to my father, for my father is a white man and I think a lot about him. If I could see him only once, for I too small to remember when he was there. My mother is fair coloured woman, fairer than I am they say, and she don't stay long with me either. She have a chance to go to Venezuela when 1 three-four year old and she never come back. She send money instead. It's my grandmother take care of me. She's quite dark and what we call 'countrycookie' but she's the best I know.
She save up all the money my mother send, she don't keep one penny for herself�that's how I get to England. I was a bit late in going to school regular, getting on for twelve years, but I can sew very beautiful, excellent�so I think I get a good job�in London perhaps.
However, here they tell me all this fine handsewing take too long. Waste of time�too slow. They want somebody to work quick and to hell with the small stitches. Altogether it don't look so good for me, I must say, and I wish I could see my father. I have his name�Davis. But my grandmother tell me, 'Every word that comes out of that man's mouth a damn lie. He is certainly first class liar, though no class otherwise.' So perhaps I have not even his real name.
Last thing I see before I put the light out is the postcard on the dressing table. 'Not to worry.'
Not to worry! Next day is Sunday, and it's on the Monday the people next door complain about me to the police. That evening the woman is by the hedge, and when I pass her she says in very sweet quiet voice, 'Must you stay? Can't you go?' I don't answer. I walk out in the street to get rid of her. But she run inside her house to the window, she can still see me. Then I start to sing, so she can understand I'm not afraid of her. The husband call out: 'If you don't stop that noise I'll send for the police.' I answer them quite short. I say, 'You go to hell and take your wife with you.' And I sing louder.
The police come pretty quick�two of them. Maybe they just round the corner. All I can say about police, and how they behave is I think it all depends who they dealing with. Of my own free will I don't want to mix up with police. No.
One man says, you can't cause this disturbance here. But the other asks a lot of questions. What is my name? Am I tenant of a flat in No. 17? How long have I lived there? Last address and so on. I get vexed the way he speak and I tell him, 'I come here because somebody steal my savings. Why you don't look for my money instead of bawling at me? I work hard for my money. All- you don't do one single thing to find it.'
'What's she talking about?' the first one says, and the other one tells me, 'You can't make that noise here. Get along home. You've been drinking.'
I see that woman looking at me and smiling, and other people at their windows, and I'm so angry I bawl at them too. I say, 'I have absolute and perfect right to be in the street same as anybody else, and I have absolute and perfect
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2366 / JEAN RHYS
right to ask the police why they don't even look for my money when it disappear. It's because a dam' English thief take it you don't look,' I say. The end of all this is that I have to go before a magistrate, and he fine me five pounds for drunk and disorderly, and he give me two weeks to pay.
When I get back from the court I walk up and down the kitchen, up and down, waiting for six o'clock because I have no five pounds left, and I don't know what to do. I telephone at six and a woman answers me very short and sharp, then Mr Sims comes along and he don't sound too pleased either when I tell him what happen. 'Oh Lord!' he says, and I say I'm sorry. 'Well don't panic,' he says, 'I'll pay the fine. But look, I don't think. . . .' Then he breaks off and talk to some other person in the room. He goes on, 'Perhaps better not stay at No. 17. I think I can arrange something else. I'll call for you Wednesday�Saturday latest. Now behave till then.' And he hang up before I can answer that I don't want to wait till Wednesday, much less Saturday. I want to get out of that house double quick and with no delay. First I think I ring back, then I think better now as he sound so vex.