The Tao of Sex

Chapter 19

EVEN AFTER THREE DAYS at the temple and even more with Nathan, Tracy had little understanding of what a tigress was or what she was supposed to do. At the moment, none of it mattered. She knew Nathan. She understood the forces that drove him, and she loved him all the better for it. They were alike in that—both giving all they could for their families while still trying to eke out a place for themselves. And they were alike in this, as well—this fierce passion that sparked whenever they touched.

“Tigresses do not go to heaven together,” he said as she pulled his shirt off. “The journey is always alone.”

“Doesn’t sound like much of a journey,” she answered.

He paused, the chiseled angles of his face smoothing as he touched her cheek. “You can never be successful at the temple with that attitude, Tracy.”

She thought about that, about the beauty of the women in this place, the exquisite sensuality of their every moment, and most of all that wonderful place he called heaven. She brought all those to mind and then threw them away.

“Then I guess I don’t want to be a tigress.” There. She’d said it aloud, and the decision felt right. “I want you.” She kissed him again. She put her heart in her touch, her soul in her caress, and she felt him shudder against her lips.

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” he protested weakly. “You don’t realize—”

“When are you going to accept that I can make up my own mind?”

She waited silently for his answer. He was absolutely still, his eyes piercingly direct despite the shadows. She could see the shock there and the gratitude. That cut at her the most. He was grateful that someone would choose him when he was the most amazing, giving man she had ever met.

His smile came slowly, but oh so sexily. “I believe I am done being noble.” His hands found her breasts in a feathery brush that was light, reverent, and set her entire chest tingling. Then he kissed her left breast and lightning zinged from his mouth into her, all the way through to her toes.

He suckled gently and she felt the pull of energy. The tingles in her chest concentrated tighter as he tongued her nipple. Then he raised up and blew a gentle whisper across her. The flash of cold made her back arch in sensation. “Open for me,” he whispered.

“Always. Forever.” They were the only words she could speak, and his eyes darkened with yearning.

The sight touched her so deeply that nothing else was needed. The energy floodgates opened, pouring into him like a brilliant river.

“No…” he cried, though his back arched and his thighs tensed. “This. Is. For you.”

“For us,” she gasped. Then she tightened her thighs around him. She could do no more than rub her legs against his pants, whimpering at the cloth. “Take them off,” she ordered.

“Harness your energy,” he said. “Ride the chi to heaven.”

Tracy almost growled at him. He didn’t understand! None of that stuff made sense to her. Nathan made sense. Nathan drew her. So she focused on him, directing her energy at him. And as she thought of him, her heart swelled with love. She had no clue exactly when she had fallen for him, but the love was there now, pulsing with joy. And so she gave him that, too, and her love multiplied the energy river a hundredfold. “Nathan,” she whispered, trying to find the words to voice her discovery.

Her thoughts stuttered to an abrupt halt as his hand slid down her belly and into her folds. His fingers were expert at touching her, at circling and stroking. He slid into her while his thumb burrowed upward. She felt it—thick and hard. She was so sensitized to his touch that she could feel the texture of his thumbprint as it rolled over her clit.

Her belly was quivering, her entire body alive with power. It would take very little to begin the rest: the contraction of orgasm, the ecstasy of seeming flight, the joy that took her to heaven. He had done this once before for her, but not this time. Not like this.

She jerked backward from him, grabbing his shoulders with all the strength she could muster. Then she toppled him over and ripped his pants away before quickly mounting into position. “You,” she gasped. “I want you!” She knew where he was, arrow straight and as hard as steel. His shoulders where she gripped him were like iron, and she dug her nails in.

“We can’t, Tracy! You will lose immortality!” His words were tight as he fought himself.

“I know. I want you,” she answered. “I love you.” Then she bore down onto him as hard as she could, feeling herself widen and open. Something inside snapped and a flash of pain cut through her consciousness. But the sensation only added to her power. She poured the pain into her river of energy and the light seemed to grow brighter, the fire hotter. She tightened her legs, loving the feel of him thick and hard inside her. So full. So deep.

“Tracy…” he whispered. Then his voice grew richer, darker. “Tracy.” His eyes blackened and his nostrils flared.

He began to move. Slowly at first. Withdrawing while she arched, as if he dragged some central part of her with him when he pulled back. He swallowed, and she watched the ripple of his throat muscles, but all too soon her gaze slid back up to his eyes.

He thrust inside her, and she gasped. But as he withdrew, something deep inside her went with him. Her energy or power. She didn’t know. But it followed his movements—stretching out as he withdrew then compressing tight as he returned.

“Nathan…” she breathed. “Something…”

“My yang,” he said. He did it again. “As you gave me your yin, I return to you my yang.”

She didn’t understand, but that didn’t matter. This wasn’t something for her mind to understand. He withdrew again, pulling the power with him. And when he thrust, her energies increased. Orgasm hit—a wave of pleasure, expanding through her body. But that wasn’t the end.

While she cried out, he continued to withdraw and thrust, the piston of energy intensifying her orgasm. Each contraction felt deeper, harder and more amazing than the last. And still he continued.

“Nathan!” she cried, not having any other word than that. His name, his yang, his power. He thrust again, and lightning surged up her spine, throwing her head back and angling her hips for even deeper penetration. Then he slammed into her one last time.

“Tracy!” His bellow was the smallest echo of the explosion that roared through her body. He climaxed, and his yang roared through her system. Jet fuel set alight!

And they flew.

STARS PULSED ALL around her. No, they hummed. They danced. Like rich earth and bright sun, all was love and harmony and beauty. Tracy lifted her arms to the music and laughed in sheer delight.

She was in heaven again. The Chamber of a Thousand Swinging Lanterns where she was surrounded by light and sounds, colors of every texture, and joy that permeated into a sense of total love. It was everything she remembered and so much more that she had forgotten. She was standing in total love, but it had no direction. And as fantastical as it was, she wanted more. She wanted a focus, a single love. She wanted Nathan.

“I am here.”

She spun around, giggling in delight when she saw him beside her. He stood in a raiment of white light, and she knew without understanding that she saw his spirit. She saw his love for his family, his fears for the future; she saw all that she already knew. And she loved him yet more.

She wrapped her arms around him. “I am so glad you are here!”

“You brought me,” he whispered as he gazed about in awe.

You brought yourselves. The sound came from everywhere, and yet the vibration of it seemed to be right inside her—warm and loving.

Nathan must have heard it—felt it?—as well because he dropped to his knees, his forehead pressed to the ground in a kowtow. Tracy bent in an awkward curtsy. There wasn’t a person or even a direction to curtsy to, and yet the feeling inside her seemed to smile in welcome. It was like a warm caress to her heart that held a whisper of eternity.

All of heaven delights with you! The darkness around them seemed to shimmer with music. Tracy thought she saw people or structures, but they weren’t shapes so much as thoughts and joyous feelings given form. Except the forms went by so fast and were so complicated that her mind couldn’t grasp them. They were beautiful. All was beautiful, and Tracy’s whole being tingled brightly in echo.

“How is this possible?” Nathan breathed, awe and shock rippling through the light that was him.

Heaven laughed in such a bubbling vibration that Tracy giggled. All things are possible here. All things are possible there, too.

“Where?” Tracy asked though she already knew the answer.

Wherever you are. Heaven is within you. It always has been. A light sparkled across her in a kiss suffused with love. We will see you again!

They fell. Hand in hand, they tumbled backward. Both immediately surged upward, trying desperately to remain, but they kept their hands linked. Buoying each other, they hovered a moment longer. “When?” they cried in unison. “When can we come back?”

Whenever you like, was the echoing answer.

They lost their lightness. Tracy’s being became heavy and slow. And the more she struggled, the heavier she became. Within seconds, her spirit tumbled back into her body. Her last conscious sensation was Nathan’s hand squeezing her own.