Time of Death

47

Bob’s Diner had been completely transformed since Ren had been home at Christmas.

Nooo. ‘What did Bob do?’ said Ren, looking around.

‘He died,’ said Daryl.

‘Oops.’

‘And his daughter got her hippie hands on it. But she does do great coffee.’

‘Thank God.’ Ren looked around. ‘I’m not good with change.’

‘Except in boyfriends.’

Ren smiled.

‘I didn’t really think it was Beau,’ said Daryl. ‘I just needed to stay professional. I hope you can appreciate that. I just had to deal with the evidence. The tip came in. The T-shirt was there. Those were facts I had to address, despite my feelings.’

‘I understand,’ said Ren. ‘I would have been the same. But it still would have been hard.’

‘Well, don’t think it wasn’t hard for me.’

‘So, where will you go from here?’

‘I don’t know,’ said Daryl. ‘I’m sure it’s happened to you — you get a tip, you focus on it…But it’s not like we ignored anything else that came in. All this seemed to do was remind us we had nothing to go on in the first place. Jesus, though. Ricky Parry…He’s a mess.’

‘I know. God help him.’

‘And poor your mom. All of you.’

‘Do you know the worst part?’ said Ren. ‘Beau hasn’t been vindicated. Still, no one knows what happened to Louis Parry. And the next big event in town was Beau’s suicide…it just…didn’t help in that regard. People are so afraid of suicide. They assume that there is some hideous dark secret behind it. Handsome Beau Bryce from that regular family could not possibly have wanted to end his life. He must have been abused as a child, or gay, or a rapist, a pedophile, a murderer. They can’t understand depression. Just the despair that someone can go through. You knew Beau, he had a huge brain. It just…turned on itself. That’s how I see it. It’s like your brain just uses its power to convince you of something that is not true: that the world is better off without you or that you are better off without the world…’

‘I am so sorry,’ said Daryl. ‘It’s still terrible to see you upset.’

‘I’m sorry,’ said Ren. ‘I…God, it never goes away. I keep hoping that, one day, I’ll be able to talk about his suicide, anyone’s suicide, and be objective. But…my heart is so broken.’ She paused. ‘Which leads me to…Daryl, I need a favor. I was wondering if you could do one thing for me…’

Ren stood at the carousel in Denver airport, waiting for her cell phone to kick in. It beeped several times with voicemails. As she was about to check them, the phone rang.

‘Hey, Ren. It’s Jay.’

‘Hey,’ said Ren. ‘How are you?’

‘I just wanted to say well done on Ricky Parry. I never would have guessed.’ He paused. ‘Not that I’m saying you guessed either. I’m just saying-’

‘Thank you.’

‘I don’t know how you do it.’

‘Neither do I.’

‘I could barely work out where I was last weekend, and I was there.’

‘Were you?’ said Ren. ‘Is there anyone who can confirm that?’

Jay laughed.

‘So…’

‘How’s everything else?’

‘Good,’ said Ren. ‘Good.’

‘I…How are you getting by without your…doctor? That must be hard on you.’

‘It is,’ said Ren. ‘I can’t even explain how hard.’ Because you probably wouldn’t understand.

‘I want you to know that, if you ever need anyone to talk to, I’m here.’

‘That’s really nice, Jay. Thanks.’

‘I mean, it’s at the other end of a phone, but…’

‘Thank you anyway.’ It’s the thought that counts, I guess. ‘Jay, Mom’s trying to get through, I’ve got to go.’

‘Talk soon.’

‘Take care.’

Her mom sounded manic. ‘Oh, Ren — Daryl Stroud just called me. The man they interviewed who said Beau had been doing drugs has admitted that he made it up.’

Thank you, Daryl. ‘I knew it,’ said Ren. ‘I told you.’

‘I feel terrible now for having believed it.’

Sweet Jesus. ‘Mom, stop it. Stop always finding a reason to feel bad about something. You should listen to yourself some time. You have just been told something that made you feel good. And straight away, you went looking for something to make you feel bad. Did you even pause for a minute to feel the good feeling? Or do you think your whole life might implode if you do?’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘It means: you’re only happy when it rains.’

‘That’s not true.’

‘And because you don’t believe that’s true, it will never change,’ said Ren. ‘It must be exhausting.’

‘I am exhausted.’

Ren let out a breath. ‘Go, get some rest. Do something nice for yourself. Why don’t you and Dad go out for dinner?’

‘I’m worried your father might-’

‘Might what? Steal some of your French fries? Slip on a wet tile in the men’s room? Choke to death on a piece of steak? You need to get a swear jar, Mom, but instead of putting a dollar into it when you swear, do it when you start a sentence with “I’m worried…” Call it a Worry Jar. And by Christmas, you’ll have saved up enough money to go on that cruise around the world that you were worried you would never have enough money to go on. Or would you be too worried that the ship would sink?’

‘Sinking is the least of my worries. People are getting murdered on cruise ships these days.’

Ren started laughing. ‘Oh, you’ll have that money saved up by next week. Anyway, I’ve got to go. Enjoy your dinner with Dad.’

‘What if people in the restaurant are all staring at us?’

‘It will only be because they’re thinking, “Look at that handsome couple. Isn’t it wonderful that a couple who have been together that long can still be so in love?”’

‘Even if your father does drive me crazy sometimes.’

‘B’bye, Mom.’

Ren got a cab at the airport and was about to head for Annie’s when she remembered her Jeep was at Safe Streets. The taxi dropped her off. There was a light on in the office. She went in and took the stairs to the fourth floor. Gary was in his office with the door closed. Ren carried on walking, into the bullpen. There was an envelope on her desk from the lab. It was the results from the DNA cross-match with the semen on Trudie Hammond’s nightgown. She ripped open the envelope and scanned the pages.

I knew it.

Ren looked at her watch. It was 11 p.m.

If I can disturb the dead at this time, I can definitely disturb the living.