Welcome to the World, Baby Girl!

Death of a Cricket

Elmwood Springs, Missouri

February 8, 1976

When Macky and Norma Warren came in from church, their phone was ringing. Norma picked it up, her purse still hanging on her arm.

“Mrs. Macky Warren?”

“Yes?”

“Mrs. Warren, my name is Jonni Hartman and I work with network news public relations and I’m calling to let you know that your relative, Dena Nordstrom, is in the hospital here.”

Norma did not let her finish, put her hand over the receiver, and screamed at her husband. “Macky, I told you not to kill that cricket. Baby Girl is in the hospital!” She turned back to the phone. “Oh, my God … what’s the matter with her?”

“Mrs. Warren, I don’t want to alarm you, but—”

“Don’t tell me she’s been in an accident. Don’t tell me she’s been hurt; I can’t stand it. I’ll go to pieces. Here … you have to talk to my husband.”

She thrust the phone at Macky as if it were on fire.

Macky took the phone, while Norma wailed in the background, “If she’s dead, just don’t tell me, I can’t stand it. I knew something like this was going to happen.”

“Norma, be quiet. Hello, this is her husband. What’s going on?”

“Mr. Warren, this is Jonni Hartman and I didn’t want to alarm you. I just wanted to call and let you know Dena’s in the hospital but OK, in case you might hear something on the news. I’m here with her at the Houston, Texas, Medical Center and Dr. DeBakey has just examined her and said she had a pretty severe attack of gastroenteritis.”

Macky nodded. “I see. Is this considered life threatening?”

Norma wailed again. “Don’t say she’s dying!”

“Oh, no, Mr. Warren. It’s just a pretty severe stomachache as far as I can tell. The doctor says all she needs is a little rest.”

“I see.”

“If she’s dead”—Norma threw her hands up in the air—“I don’t want to know.”

Macky said, “Miss Hartman, could you hold on for a second?” He put his hand over the receiver. “Norma, she’s not dead. Now be quiet and let me talk to the woman!” Norma covered her mouth with her hands to keep herself quiet. “Miss Hartman, I can be there just as soon as I can get a plane out of here.”

“Mr. Warren, I really don’t think that’s necessary. I think it would be better to wait and see how long the doctor is going to keep her. She might be released by the time you get here.”

“I see. Well, how is she doing right now? Can we talk to her?”

Norma couldn’t control herself. “Is she asking for us? Macky, ask her if she wants to talk to us.”

“Mr. Warren, the doctor gave her something and she’s sleeping right now and from what I gather he does not want her disturbed. He put a No Visitors sign on her door. I’m not even allowed in.”

Macky nodded again. “I see. What about her family? Should we be there when she wakes up?”

Norma gasped and clutched her purse to her chest. “Mother of God, she’s in a coma, I knew it—”

“Norma, she’s fine. Now, sit down.”

“Mr. Warren, I really don’t want you and your wife to worry. She has the best doctor in the country, Michael E. DeBakey.”

Macky was impressed. “The heart transplant doctor?”

He anticipated Norma’s reaction and caught her just before she started to scream heart transplant. “No, Norma, it’s not her heart, that’s her doctor.”

“Her doctor? Her doctor has had a heart transplant?”

“Norma, he’s fine.”

Norma stood up. “Oh, I can’t stand it, Macky, you’re not asking the right questions. Give me the phone. Miss Hartman, this is Norma again. Is this doctor good? Because we have a doctor right here in town that we can get, one that’s in good health.”

Macky shook his head in disbelief and said in a quiet, steely voice, “Norma, give me the phone and go sit down.”

Reluctantly, she handed it back. “Well, you have to ask about these things.”

“Miss Hartman, we really appreciate your call and I would also appreciate it if you could call us tomorrow and let us know how she’s doing.”

Norma said, “Tomorrow? Tell her to call us in an hour; she could be dead by tomorrow.”

“I sure will, Mr. Warren, and really, she’s OK.”

Macky put the phone down and Norma grabbed for it but missed.

“Why did you hang up? We don’t know where she is.”

“Yes, we do. She’s at the Houston Medical Center.”

“Houston, Texas? Texas? What is she doing in Texas?”

“I don’t know, honey, but she’s OK now, just calm down.”

“Macky, I don’t know how you can stand there and be so calm. Baby Girl is lying up in a strange cowboy hospital with some sick doctor, my God, halfway across the country.”

“Norma, it’s not that far.”

“Well, we can’t tell Aunt Elner, she’ll get too upset. And she’s liable to have a heart attack, too. That’s all we need right now, two people in the hospital at the same time.”

Macky took Norma by the shoulders and led her over to the sofa. “Norma, listen to me. She’s in one of the best hospitals in the country and has one of the best doctors and all she has is just a pretty bad stomachache, that’s all. The doctor said she has gastroenteritis.”

“What?”

“Gastroenteritis.”

“Well, I’ve never heard of it. How did she catch it?”

“I don’t know, honey.”

“Is it some kind of Texas thing?”

“Probably not.”

Norma jumped up and went to the phone. “Well, I’m calling Dr. Clyde and asking him.”

As Norma was dialing, Macky said, “I give up. Do what you want, you’re going to anyway.”

Norma said, “Macky, get me some vanilla ice cream in a dish, I’m a nervous wreck. Look, my hands are shaking like a leaf.… I can hardly dial the—Tootie? It’s Norma Warren, is he there? Well, tell him I need to speak to him right away. Yes, it is. Macky, give me two scoops, I’m—Oh, Dr. Clyde … this is Norma and I need to ask you a question. Is there a disease called gastro inter-something? Hold on.” She called to the kitchen. “Macky, gastro what?”

“Enteritis, I think.”

“He says enteritis, he thinks. Macky, did that woman say gastroenteritis? Yes, that’s it.” She turned away from the phone. “Macky, he says, yes, there is, only it’s a condition, not a disease. No, Doctor, we don’t have it, it’s Baby Girl.”

Macky came in and handed her a bowl of ice cream and took her purse from her.

“Thank you, honey. No, I was talking to my husband. What kind of condition?” She repeated everything she heard in a loud voice. “It’s an inflammation of the stomach lining … uh … caused by too much acid. Usually brought on by stress. Did you hear that, Macky? Well, Macky was right, he said she was working too hard and now look what’s happened. She can’t die of it, can she? Ahhh, he says no, he doesn’t think so. Well, thank heavens for that. I was … oh … OK, yes, in that case you better get on back. Thank you, Doctor.” She hung up.

“See, she’s not going to die,” Macky said. “Now, don’t you feel better?”

“Not yet.”

An hour later, she picked up the phone in the kitchen and dialed Aunt Elner while Macky made himself a ham and cheese sandwich.

“Aunt Elner, were you taking a nap? It’s Norma. Put on your hearing aid, honey. Can you hear me? Well … now that we know it’s not life threatening, the tale can be told. Are you sitting down? Well, go sit down. Are you seated? I don’t want you falling out with a stroke. Well, the whole thing started last night at about ten-thirty. We had been in bed for about an hour when we heard a cricket in the living room and Macky got up without his glasses on and stepped on it and killed it! I know it’s bad luck to kill a cricket, that’s probably the reason Baby Girl wound up in the hospital in the first place!”