Xenophobe's Guide to the Italians

Character

The Italians are great actors and their lives often appear to be one big act. Most of Italian life is spent in public, on show, and Italians know the value of of bella figura (cutting a fine figure). Whether they are shopping in the supermarket or modelling clothes, working in the office or directing the traffic, serving in a restaurant or going to see the doctor, Italians know how important it is to act the part, and look the part as well. They learn how to act when they are children and go on acting throughout their lives.

Because ordinary Italian life is lived on stage, Italian theatre often looks as if it is overacted – it has to be, to differentiate it from the high drama of real life.

Italians always take great care to wear the right clothes on the right occasion. This is never a casual choice – it is important to wear the proper clothes for the role you are playing. The station master must look like a station master. He must act the part too since he is on stage in the great film set of life. This is where style is so important. The taxi-driver, the teacher, the doctor, the lawyer and the engineer must all dress, act and behave like taxi-drivers, teachers, doctors, lawyers and engineers.

Taking life easy and being seen to take things easy, whether you are at the beach, in the disco or even at work, is part of bella figura, which explains why Italians are often happy to work in jobs that might seem very boring, such as lifeguards or security guards. There they can be on show all the time and be seen to be looking good and taking it easy – on the beach, or hanging around the bank looking important dressed up as a gunslinger. It doesn’t matter that the job is not so pleasant in winter, nor whether the guard is actually able or even allowed to use the gun, as long as he looks the part.

Nowhere can this be seen better than in the world of sport. It makes no difference if you can’t swim very well, for that sub-aqua course you must have the right clothes and gear and style and you must look and act like a sub-aqua diver. This is why the latest fashion is important, for it makes your performance more convincing. Many Italian lofts are full of sportswear and gear, bought at great expense, but abandoned because they are out of date or their owner has taken up another activity.

Sports are often taken up just for the look. Cross-country skiing enjoyed a boom when skin-tight Lycra ski-suits were invented. It was worth braving the freezing cold and the physical agony of this tiring sport for a couple of hours in order to be able to show off in the bar afterwards (and it might even have been good for your health, too).

Italians are very observant of how other people dress, particularly foreigners who are generally considered to dress badly. During the Second World War the Allied prisoners of war who managed to escape from prison camps had far more problems travelling in Italy than in any other country in Europe. The suits and clothes they made from their uniforms, sheets and blankets often took in the Germans, but rarely fooled the Italians.

The price rises that came with the euro have alarmed the population. Many shopkeepers ignored the official exchange rate and simply knocked off one zero (so that 1000 lire became 1.00 euro), thus doubling their profit at one stroke. But of even greater concern to the smart set is the effect of the new currency on their appearance. Unlike the old Italian paper money, it has lots of chunky coins, thus ruining the style of figure-hugging designer jeans with unseemly bulges in the pockets.

Italians are not in the least bit snobbish, and their only real social divisions are based on wealth. Those who have money, even temporarily, may spend it and flaunt it where and how they like. They will be treated as potentates – as long as they have enough, of course.

The one thing that captures the imagination of Italian males far more than the dream of being a star footballer is owning a major football team. As a business, everyone knows it’s unprofitable, but as an image-booster, it’s the tops. It is not by chance that the Agnelli family (of Fiat fame) are at the helm of Turin’s Juventus, and it was not sufficient for the highest flying arrivista (parvenu) of his generation and the wealthiest man in Italy, Silvio Berlusconi, to own major media networks; he had to buy A.C. Milan in order to be seen as a real success.

Allegria is a general effervescence and delight in living that is not easy for the outsider to penetrate. It is linked to the joy of being and tends to involve sunshine, company and collective high spirits and it is why Italians so often seem to be laughing and smiling together.

Allegria is infectious and not sharing in it is regarded as bad form. All those attending that big family picnic in the mountains will demonstrate allegria in a big way, roaring with laughter at Uncle Gianni’s imitation of Aunt Rita sitting down on a cactus by mistake, even if they have heard the story countless times before.

The counterpart of allegria is a depressing form of melancholy and suffering that visitors are usually spared, since it is often brought on by the damp, cold weather of late autumn and coincides with the seasonal increase in prices and taxes. But generally speaking, the Italians tend to look on the bright side of life – a positive outlook aptly illustrated by their touching salutation: ‘May the saddest days of your future be the happiest days of your past.’