The Egyptian

3

But I shall tell how Ammon revealed himself to me.

On the fourth night it was my turn to watch over the peace of Ammon. There were seven of us boys: Mata, Mose, Bek, Sinufer, Nefru, Ahmose, and I. Mose and Bek were also candidates for the House of Life, and so I knew them but not the others.

I was weak with fasting and suspense. We were in a solemn mood and walked unsmilingly after the priest-may his name perish in oblivion-as he led us to the enclosed part of the temple. Ammon’s ship had sailed beyond the hills in the west, the watchmen had blown their silver horns, and the temple gates were shut. But the priest who guided us had eaten a good meal of meat from the sacrifices and fruits and sweet cakes; oil dripped down his face, and his cheeks were rosy with wine. Laughing to himself, he raised the veil and let us look into the holy of holies. In his alcove, which was carved out of one huge block of stone, stood Ammon. The jewels in his headdress and collar sparkled green, red, and blue like living eyes in the light of the sacred lamps. In the morning under the direction of the priest we were to anoint him and clothe him afresh, for each morning he required a new robe. I had seen him before at the Spring Festival when he was carried out to the forecourt in his golden boat and all the people prostrated themselves before him, and when the river was at its height, I had seen him sail upon the sacred lake in his ship of cedarwood. But then as a lowly novice I had but glimpsed him at a distance. His red robe had never made so fierce an impact as now, by lamplight, in the inviolate silence of the sanctuary. Red was worn by gods and Pharaohs alone, and as I gazed at his lifted face, I felt as if the very slabs of stone lay upon my breast to stifle me.

“Watch and pray before the evil,” said the priest, clinging to the border of the curtain, for he was unsteady on his legs. “Perchance he will call you. It is his custom to reveal himself to the postulants, addressing them by name and speaking, if they be found worthy.”

Hurriedly he made the holy signs, mumbled the divine name of Ammon, and pulled the veil back into place without troubling even to bow and stretch forth his hands at knee level.

He went, leaving us alone in the darkness of the inner antechamber, whose stone floor struck cold to our bare feet. But when he had gone, Mose brought forth a lamp from beneath his shoulder cloth while Ahmose walked coolly into the sanctuary and fetched some of the sacred flame with which to kindle it.

“We should be fools to sit in darkness,” said Mose, and we felt safer, though I think we were none of us without fear. Ahmose brought out bread and meat; Mata and Nefru started throwing dice on the flagstones, calling the score so loudly as to wake the echoes in the hall. But when Ahmose had eaten, he rolled himself in his shoulder cloth and, after swearing a little at the hardness of the stones, settled down to sleep; a little later Sinufer and Nefru lay down beside him for warmth.

But I was young and I watched, though I knew that the priest had been given a jar of wine by Metufer, whom he had invited with one or two other distinguished candidates to his room, and therefore would not be coming to take us by surprise. I watched, though I knew from the tales others had told me that it was the custom for would-be initiates to spend their vigil in eating, gaming, and sleeping.

My night was long. While the others slept, I was filled with devotion and aspiration, and I reflected that I had kept myself pure and fasted and obeyed all the old commandments so that Ammon might reveal himself to me. I repeated his holy names and listened to every rustle with senses alert-but the temple was void and cold. With the approach of morning the veil of the sanctuary stirred in the draft, but nothing further happened. As daylight began to creep into the hall, I blew out the lamp with a heavy heart and woke my companions.

Soldiers blew their horns, on the walls the guard was changed, and from the forecourts came a murmur like the rushing of distant waters. We knew that day and its work had begun. At last the priest entered in a great hurry and with him, to my surprise, Metufer. A strong reek of wine came from them; they were walking arm in arm, the priest swinging the keys of the sacred shrines in his hand. Prompted by Metufer, he gabbled off the holy formulas before greeting us.

“Postulants Mata, Mose, Bek, Sinufer, Nefru, Ahmose, and Sinuhe! Have you watched and prayed as you were commanded, that you might be acceptable to the Most High?”

“We have watched and prayed,” we answered with one voice.

“Has Ammon revealed himself to you according to his word?”

The priest belched, and his eyes traveled over us unsteadily. We glanced sideways at each other and hesitated. At last Mose faltered, “He has revealed himself.” One after the other my companions repeated, “He has revealed himself.” Last of all Ahmose firmly and reverently declared, “Most certainly did he reveal himself.” He stared the priest straight in the eye, but I said nothing. I felt as if a hand were squeezing my heart, for to me my companion’s words were blasphemy.

Metufer said impudently, “I also have watched and prayed to be worthy of initiation, for this next night I have other things to do than to tarry here. And to me also Ammon appeared, as the priest can testify. His form was that of a huge wine jar, and he spoke to me of many sacred matters that it is not fitting I should repeat to you; but his words were as refreshing to me as wine so that I thirsted to hear more and yet more until the dawn.”

Then Mose plucked up courage and said, “To me he appeared in the shape of his son Horus, perching upon my shoulder like a hawk and saying, ‘Blessed be thou, Mose, and thy family and all thy deeds, that thou may’st come to dwell in a house with two gates and have command over many servants.’ “

Now the others also hastened to relate what Ammon had said to them; they talked eagerly, several at a time, while the priest listened and nodded and laughed. I do not know whether they spoke of their dreams or whether they were lying. I only know that I stood apart and said nothing.

At last the priest turned to me, knitted his shaven eyebrows, and said sternly, “And you, Sinuhe! Are you not worthy? Did not Ammon appear to you in any shape at all? Have you not seen him even in the likeness of a little mouse? For he manifests himself under many forms.”

My entry into the House of Life was at stake, so I summoned courage and answered, “At dawn I saw the holy veil of the sanctuary stirring a little, but I have seen nothing else, and Ammon did not speak to me.”

Then everyone burst out laughing; Metufer laughed and slapped his knees and said to the priest, “He’s simple.” Then tugging his wine- soaked sleeve, he whispered something to him, his eyes still upon me.

The priest looked at me again sternly and said, “If you have not heard the voice of Ammon you cannot be initiated. Yet, for all that, we may find a remedy, for I believe you to be a steadfast youth, full of honest purpose.”

When he had said this, he vanished into the holy of holies, and Metufer came forward to me. When he saw my woeful face, he smiled in a friendly way and said, “Have no fear!”

A moment later we all jumped, for through the darkness of the hall came the braying of a supernatural voice that was unlike the voice of any man. It seemed to come from everywhere at once: from the roof, the walls, and between the pillars-and we looked about us to discover whence it came.

“Sinuhe, Sinuhe, thou sluggard, where art thou? Come swiftly and bow down before me, for I have but little time and cannot tarry all day for thee.”

Metufer drew aside the veil of the sanctuary and, pushing me in, gripped the back of my neck and bent me to the floor and into the attitude in which salutation is made to gods and Pharaohs. But I raised my head at once and saw that the holy of holies was full of light.

A voice came from Ammon’s mouth, saying,

“Sinuhe, Sinuhe, thou swine and baboon! Wast thou then drunk and sleeping when I called thee? Verily thou should’st be cast into a pool of slime and eat mud all thy days; nevertheless, for thy youth’s sake I will have mercy, despite thy foolishness, thy uncleanness, and thy sloth. For I have compassion on those who believe in me, but all others shall be cast into the abyss of the Kingdom of Death.”

Many more things were spoken by the voice, with howls, revilings, and curses, but I no longer remember it all nor desire to remember, such was my humiliation and bitterness of spirit. For as I listened, I could detect through the superhuman reverberations the voice of the priest, and this discovery so shocked and horrified me that I could no longer give ear to it. After the voice had ceased, I remained lying before the statue of Ammon until the priest came in and kicked me aside. My companions made haste to bear incense, ointments, cosmetics, and red cloths.

Each of us had a task allotted to him, and remembering mine, I went out to the forecourt to fetch a vessel of holy water and the consecrated towels for washing the god’s face, hands, and feet. On my return I saw the priest spit in Ammon’s face and rub it with his dirty sleeve. Then Mose and Nefru painted his lips and cheeks and eyebrows. Metufer anointed him and laughingly rubbed holy oil into the priest’s face and his own. Lastly the statue was undressed to be washed and wiped as if it had befouled itself, and then a red pleated skirt and an apron were fastened round it, a cloth hung across its shoulders, and its arms thrust into sleeves.

When all this had been done, the priest collected the cast-off garments and took charge of the washing water and the towels. All this was to be divided up and sold in the forecourt to wealthy travelers, the water being dispensed as a remedy for skin diseases. Then we were free to go out into the sunshine of the court, where I vomited.

My brain and heart were as empty as my belly, for I no longer believed in the gods. But when the week had passed, my head was anointed with oil, and having sworn the priestly oath, I was given a certificate. On this document was the great seal of the temple of Ammon and my name, and it entitled me to enter the House of Life.

So we entered it, Mose, Bek, and I. Its gate was opened to us, and my name was inscribed in the Book of Life as my father Senmut’s name had been inscribed before me and his father’s name before him, But I was happy no longer.