Dead Famous

DAY THIRTY-THREE. 11.00 a.m.

“It’s eleven o’clock on day thirty-three,” said Andy the narrator, “and the housemates have been summoned to the confession box in order to give a sample of their DNA. The police request is voluntary but none of the housemates refuse.”

“Charming,” Dervla observed drily. “Today’s task is to attempt to eliminate yourself from a murder investigation.”

Gazzer seemed disappointed. “I thought I was going to have to have one off the wrist and give ’em a splash of bollock champagne,” he said, “but they only wanted a scrape of skin.”