Dead Famous

DAY THIRTY-SIX. 11.00 a.m.

The results of the house DNA tests took three days to arrive, which Coleridge thought was outrageous.

As expected, the individuals represented on the sheet were the male housemates. Jazz, most prominently, Gazzer, David and Hamish equally clearly, and Woggle the least. Woggle, of course, had not been available to supply a sample, having famously skipped bail and disappeared. However, when he left the house he had accidentally left his second pair of socks behind, which despite having since been buried in the garden by the other boys, yielded copious quantities of anarchist DNA.

“So the sheet points towards Jazz, then,” said Hooper.

“Well, perhaps, but we’d expect his presence to be detected more strongly, since he wore the sheet after Geraldine and her team had arrived.”

“Yes, convenient, that, wasn’t it?” Hooper observed drily. “Covers his tracks very nicely, except that if one of the others had worn it too we would expect their presence to show more strongly also. After all, the killer would have been sweating like a pig when he put it on.”

“But all the other three have come up equally.”

“Exactly, sir.”

“Which is a bit weird in itself, isn’t it?” said Trish. “Sort of supports the idea that they were all in it, and they had a pact, to divide suspicion.”

“Well, anyway, at least it rules the girls out,” said Hooper.

“You think so?” Coleridge enquired.

“Well, doesn’t it?”

“Only if the sheet under discussion was the one the killer used to hide under, which it probably is, but we can’t be certain. We know that it’s the sheet Jazz grabbed after the Peeping Tom people had entered the house, but can we be sure it was the one that the killer dropped onto the pile when he returned to the sweatbox?”

“Well, it was on top.”

“Yes, but the pile was fairly jumbled, and all the sheets were the same dark colour. More than one sheet may have been on top, so to speak. The tape is not entirely clear.”

“So it doesn’t help us at all, then?” said Trish.

“Well, I think it could strengthen a case; it just couldn’t make one. If there was further evidence against Jazz, this sheet would help, that’s all.”