CHAPTER 14

I have heard the cries of the forlorn who often say, 'I am at the crossroads of my life', and look to one to give directions. Being of occasionally morbid mind, I envisage immediately four muddy, empty roads, some flanked by trees and others by broad fields, and all an emptiness, a lonely sea of mud and waiting wet the farmers have deserted. There are no signposts. No one else invades that misty scene of silent grass, and fog amid the boughs of trees deserted by the birds. A cloaked and timourous one arrives, lamp held with little hope and-having cast around and finding neither light nor dark but only that unease that lies between the two-takes hopelessly upon one of the tracks towards an horizon that ever further moves away, away, oh on and on, the long, long lea away. Morbidity, however, brings me to desire. Moods come upon me when I wish to be slothful, desire to be unclothed almost against my will, and bundled, badgered, coaxed into being mounted, then to feel the stinging, surging, soothing of the prick inside my cunny, lying plaintive underneath the heaving male. I think of myself thus as 'being worked'. I do not mind. I may by turns, by other wendings of my mind, be maid or mistress, wife or daughter, whore or nun. So many words and actions can excite in changing roles. Whether I would see Elizabeth again or whether I would cast myself in the path of Jenkins, I did not know, and slept on it. Upon the morrow, however, the false manservant had left, or had appeared to do so by his absence. That small thing decided me. I had used the house for a moment, had been used in it as well. Even so, it had a comfort and an ambiance I liked, and hence I said to Aramintha that I would visit Elizabeth that afternoon. Her house being but four miles from theirs, I would return in several hours, I said. 'If you then wish to, Emily, yes, but take your nightgown just in case', she smiled. 'Oh pouf! Your mind runs in one channel, Aramintha!', I replied, but even so I sneaked a toothbrush in my reticule. Was it a journey that I really wished to make? I was not sure, but even so it got me out into the world again. Fears, wonderings, desires, doubts, hesitations, all mingle in the mind, and to no purpose usually, for what will occur will occur once the right foot has moved a single step before the left. Elizabeth greeted me with great pleasure in a drawing room far too ornate for my taste. Her husband was away, she said, though uttered it with some relief. All the time speaking, all the time speaking, she stood close to me and touched my face, my breasts, my thighs. 'I was itching for you to come again, and you have chosen the right day: a perfect day, in fact. I thought of you, upstairs just now, and wished you here'. 'Upstairs?' I have occasionally an empty, foolish habit in repeating words. 'Indeed, and I will show you. Fortunately he is very quiet. One has to depend so much upon discretion, does one not? I love your grey dress-how it moulds your breasts and shows your bottom to perfection, Emily. Come-the young man in question will delight you; I am sure of that'. 'The young…?'

I wished to say it only in my mind. The words spilled out.

'He is fifteen, my pet'. She had already begun to lead me out again, and then went on in hushed and solemn tones, 'He has the most beautiful Mama you could ever see, but the silly woman has no fancies such as we evolve and toy with and make true. The dear boy wants to but she will not let me, and complained to me of his behaviour-peeping in her boudoir, and all such. He has had his hands a little up her clothes and kissed her, but she will not donate her tongue nor let his fingers touch her drawers. How wasteful, Emily! Do you not think it is?' The question took me by surprise. 'I do not know', I said, and halfway up the broad stairway she paused and tucked her arm about my waist. 'That which is known need not have been experienced. In the mind, all things are known, and therein frequently are done. When one lets go, lets go, ah then, the splendour and the daring rise. Do not tell me you have not tasted the forbidden fruit!'

We had stayed ourselves, my back against the bannisters. A waiting quiet, like a deep breath with-held, waited above: a panther without form, as I thought of it. 'No, I have… Yes, I have', I murmured truthfully enough. Poor James-I had so flirted with him, teased. Mary had sucked his cock and I had loved to see it done. Pale face, his sweet face, and his lips to mine. No one had held my bottom boldly before Papa had done. 'You see! I knew it! We are really of one mind- can even speak of it, and no harm done. May I tell you that I love you, and that I love to see you being done, as much as I would have you to myself? Lick my tongue now, for a moment, Emily, and be obedient, but at other times…' 'Yes, what?', I asked and laughed and licked her long, pink tongue luxuriously. 'At other times be bold, you sillikins. Speak what you want to speak. Speak now of the first thing that comes to you'. I was conscious of the waiting up above, and yet more of the resilience of her breasts to mine. Such consciousness brought words into my head. 'I like to see my sister with a cock in her', I said, and hated myself for the crudeness of my words, yet Elizabeth but smiled. 'You will see my husband on her soon enough. I will smack her first, then bring her bottom to his prick. What fun! But come now, I am already moist at all these naughty thoughts. I swear you are!' Lips loosed themselves.

My hand was taken. I was sped beyond on to the landing and then towards a boudoir where the door was just ajar. Pushing it open boldly, Elizabeth drew me in and closed the door. The youth lay naked on the bed: a girlish boy with narrow hips, eyelashes not unlike a girl's, and tousled hair as if he had fretted there for long. Beside him lay a pair of long white drawers his fingers clasped. 'They are his Mama's, the poor sweet. See how still he lies and waits. His teeth are perfect and his breath is sweet. I have seen to that with milk and bonbons, haven't I?', she asked him, and he blinked, first nervously at her and then at me, then nodded. As for myself, I felt almost a motherliness towards him, for he looked so unguarded to the world, and yet I felt too a sense of excitement at his passive waiting, arms down at his sides and cock erect. 'His balls are small-almost like plover's eggs- and yet he comes with fair abundance for his age. Bend over-feel them-Emily. No-wait! Strip to your stockings and I will do the same. He will not move at all until we touch him, and then becomes a little fury. One can tame him quickly, though, by bringing him to spend, and then he likes to cuddle with his cock all limp and wet between one's thighs. Oh dear, what things young boys will get up to these days!' Her hands were at her clothing as she spoke, though first she had unbuttoned me, loosed all the buttons down my back, then-swooping up her own pink gown-showed wondrous pearly thighs above her stocking tops. 'Quickly!', she laughed and, casting off her dress, revealed herself to have been naked underneath. And what a wondrous form she had! Her hips had that 'violin curve' that makes a woman so desirable. Her belly curved but slightly. Underneath was a dark thatch luxuriant with curls. Her breasts were perfect melons-ruby nipples set upon the cream of her fine skin, the mounds aggressive, jiggling as she moved and waited for my own uncovering which took not but a moment more. We faced each other-faced each other in a moment of desire, and had no need to speak of it. I felt her belly fitting close to mine before it even did.

Three steps and we were touching nipples, manoeuvering our thighs to let our bushes touch. 'Boldness becomes you, Emily, to stand so.

Have you done so always? You must tell me more about yourself. Mouth open now-receive my tongue. Move closer backwards to the bed and let him sniff your bottom while we kiss. I promise you he'll do no more than that, until I say. Darling, my love, what lovely bottom cheeks you have. I trust you have received intruders there?' 'Yes', I said faintly. Cloudily her mouth came on my own. We swayed, moved backwards, dragging feet. I heard the youth shift and tensed myself.

His body rolled behind me on the bed. I felt the breathing of his breath close to my offered hemispheres. 'A little sniffing does him good, for he will know the scent of you henceforth', Elizabeth murmured. I confess to a squeak then, for as she spoke and squashed my mouth to hers, so the youth's nose intruded, searching like a tiny dog to poke between my nether cheeks and rummage, hotly breathing, at my hole. 'Is he there?', Elizabeth asked softly to my lips. 'Mmmmm…', I hummed against her own. His nose was moving as a gentle finger moves, around the puckered rim and up and down. I waited for his tongue, but felt no touch of it. 'He may not lick you less you wish him to'. Her voice was husky, urgent, tickling on my lips. I sensed her need that I should follow on the path her words had laid and bulbed my bottom more and felt as wickedly obscene as I had done with Jenkins on the bed. 'Want him to lick me there', I murmured, drawing in my breath and thus her own which flowed upon my tongue. 'Excellent! The posture must be quite exact, my pet. It is one of both obedience and offering we teach to younger girls sometimes. May I show you, Emily? Oh, do say yes!'

I assented softly. There was safety here. I felt love lambent in her lips and knew it to be so. Upon my whispering yes, she moved to one side of me and placed her fingertips beneath my chin, exhorting me to bend my body forward and thus thrust out my bottom all the more.

But she had asked, not forced me to the trick. I did so-felt a mischief in the stance, my legs apart, eyes facing forward at the wall, her hand quite firm but comforting that held my head up.

Tenderly, with her free hand, she tickled up my nipples one by one and then softly exhorted the boy to lick whatever he could find. I quivered as I felt his tongue. It roamed the bulbing surfaces at first, sauntered into the cleft, retreated, licked around again, and then returned to toil and tingle round my orifice. It swirled, it dipped. He had been taught- as I later realised-the feuille de rose wherein the tongue is pointed, curled each side upon itself, and so brought to intrude within. When a young girl is teased thus- one who had not then taken cock, but is to be persuaded to-a stout bar is held across her thighs to prevent her jerking forward. Three women attend her: one holds up her chin (standing in front of her) while the others hold the bar or-equally-may hold her arms stretched out on either side. The male attends her bottom then with tongue, or it may be another girl who will as equally enjoy her little moans and cries.

'He has his tongue in, hasn't he?', Elizabeth asked.

'Mmmm… MMMMMM!', was all that I could say. The warm tickling, the invasion, was delicious, sending further, gentle tongues of flame throughout my belly. I sniffled, snuffled, rolled my eyes. Elizabeth laughed agreeably. Taking her hand from under my stiff-nippled breasts, she evidently grasped the boy's head at the back and forced his face more into me, making me breathe more deeply and causing him to splutter so that I felt the spatterings of his saliva everywhere.

'Are you ready to receive him, Emily? Move back- lie down upon your hip!', she uttered to him sharply. As he did, she gently urged me on my back upon the bed, wet bottom facing into him, then slumped beside me in her turn, sharp nipples to my own and face to face. 'Just kiss. He loves to hear the sound', she said.

Wet-lapping were our tongues together while the youth's prick ticked its urgency against my bottom cheeks. He did not stir, though, did not stir. 'Clasp me tightly, Emily, for I am going to hold you by the waist', she murmured and, with that, did so and cupped my springy bottom cheeks and held them wide apart to him. 'GOOO!', I choked next, for then his knob slipped in, push-probing through the rimhole of my rose and seeking tightly upwards in its path. The veins on his slim penis throbbed. I gripped him of a mischief, with four inches in, and then let him proceed as inch by inch he urged his syringe up between my cheeks. 'Nice? Is it nice? Say it is nice?', came Elizabeth's cooing voice against my lips. 'Nnnnng!', I gritted for, with that, he pistoned it full in. I felt her hand beneath my cunny tickling both his balls. His tummy slapped against my bottom hard. 'L… let me kiss you!', came a whine, he panting warm breath on my shoulder then. I thought him to mean me, and in the swimming pleasure turned my face, but Elizabeth's brushed past my cheek to push her lips to his and I between them tightly sandwiched. -'Mer-mer-mer-mer!', he moaned. I heard the sibilance of meeting tongues and worked my bottom to his gliding thrusts, my tube so close-clenched around his prick. 'Bugger her, darling-do it to her nicely, though. You little devil, if I let you… OOOH!'

Desire had overcome her and she sprinkled on my amourous hand, her bush crushed down upon my palm. I felt her ecstasy and then was coming on myself, dizzy with white light-the most exquisite of sensations as that youthful syringe pulsed and pumped the more, the three of us a-panting and the sounds of tongues and lips. 'Mama!, I'm coming!', the youth moaned. His cork swelled for a moment up between my springy cheeks and half drew out. Then, pistoning full in again, he loosed his fine and bubbly jets, a-gasping as he was into her mouth, my breasts full bulged to hers, our nipples thorns.

'HAAAR! Do it to her, darling-yes-right up!' My feet kissed hers, knees bumped, and I received his final jets within my sucking orifice, he moaning much as if he were in pain, but really in that hot, volcanic pleasure that comes when all the juices flow and flesh is stung with sweetness of release. A-bubble-bubble came his weaker spurts, then he was done. The fleshy slug ticked in me still and then withdrew with a faint 'Plop!' 'Oh god, that was delicious!', came my sigh. I felt the boy roll from me, weakly stir. 'There! Was it not? The advantages of youth, my pet. He will get his corker up in half an hour, or less, if he's encouraged', said Elizabeth. We rolled upon our bottoms-all lay hips to hips. I moved my right hand idly and touched the boy's moist prick and felt his balls. Then of a sudden I recalled his cry and rolled upon Elizabeth and held her down, her belly quivering underneath my own. 'He is your son!', I said.

'Oh no, he's not! He loves to call me Mama since I nourish his desires so well'. 'He looks like you a little-yes, he does!' I swung my head sideways and kissed the boy. His lips were like a girl's and trembled underneath my own. 'Oh, really, Emily! Imagine if he were. You think I would permit such naughtiness?' 'I do indeed, you witch!', I laughed. My nose rubbed to her own again, my eyes explored her deep blue ones and so much mischief glimmering in their depths.- 'Oh tell me-honestly'. I knew I could not ask the youth who had half turned in shyness.-'You said he had a beautiful Mama', I wheedled, urging my quim-hairs deep into her own. 'I did? Would I make such?', she teased, and I not knowing whether to believe or not.

'He does it to you, though?' 'Sometimes, of course, I let him, yes. I make him do it to me standing up, my back against the wall, knees bent. How lewd it feels! I swear I will coax her into letting him, someday'. 'Suck his penis now, Elizabeth. I want to see'. 'Oh!' Even as she gasped, however, so she rolled from under me, curled up-I kneeling, looking down at them. The boy stirred at her touch, stared up at me, eyes open wide, and uttered a pathetic little whine as her velvet lips enclosed his sticky knob.

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