Fast Times at Ridgemont High - A True Story

War Games

There had been a poll taken in the Reader earlier in the year. The question had been, Would you be willing to go to war to defend American interests in the Middle East?

Overwhelmingly, from liberals to reactionaries, the basic student response was, No way. I wouldn’t go to war unless America was attacked.

But you had to wonder just how sincere that was when Mr. Hand began his most popular class exercise, the five weeks in March and April when his class played War Games.

War Games was a Mr. Hand invention, built as a large-scale version of the popular home game of world domination, Risk. Each player-student was allotted a number of armies and countries. Turn by turn, the students were expected to defend and bombard each other until only one remained—the ruler of the world U.S. History class.

War Games brought out the maniac in some students. This was a time when the kids who carried briefcases to school reigned. They could barely wait until U.S. History, when the moves began again.

“How are you doing?”

“Okay. I’ve got Bulgaria. I’m going for the entire continent today.”

“Are your armies in good shape?”

“Are you kidding? I’m going to blow their heads off, eat their flesh, and drink their blood!”

“Okay, Delbert, see you at lunch.”

“Yeah.”

Jeff Spicoli was, naturally, one of the first players to lose all his armies and sit drawing motorcycles for the rest of War Games.

“What is your problem?” Mr. Hand had demanded of him.

“Boredom,” said Spicoli.

“Mr. Spicoli,” said Mr. Hand, “the next world war will be fought out of boredom.”