Fries Alive

CHAPTER12

After the Funkhousers got back from the Burger Castle that night, Freddy raced to his lab to see the Fries.

Wally wailed, “Look, little dudiski, I haven’t eaten in over four hours! I’m starving to death.” He tapped Theodore on the shoulder. “Look at me, Theodore. Can you still see me or am I too thin?”

Theodore took off his glasses and wiped them. “I don’t need my glasses to see you, Wally. In Latin you would be known as purpulis enormosis.”

“Purpulis enormosis,” Wally bellowed. “That sounds important.”

“So is everything okay?” asked Ziggy. “Are we still going to be famous?”

“I don’t even know if I’ve figured out a way for us to keep on living in this country,” answered Freddy despondently.

“Is it really that bad?” asked Theodore.

“The police arrested my dad, property was damaged, people went to the hospital, and the whole town is up in arms,” said Freddy. “Other than that, everything’s great.”

“Is there anything we can do to help?” squeaked Ziggy.

“Not that I can think of, Ziggy, but thanks for asking.”

“Whew, that’s a relief,” said Wally. “Okay, let’s eat.”

“I’ll get some food and bring it down to you,” said Freddy. “Is there anything else you guys need?”

“Well, some books would be nice,” answered Theodore. “Some good literature.”

“All right!” exclaimed Wally. “I love good literature.” He paused and added, “That’s a cheese, right?”

“That’s limburger!” said Theodore in exasperation.

Si piped in, “Well, you could bring some cards back. That way I can play Meese and get my five bucks back.”

“Well, of course you will. I always lose!” complained Meese.

“Do you want anything, Ziggy?” asked Freddy.

The little Fry thought for a moment. “Well, do you have a spare blanket?”

“Sure thing,” said Freddy kindly. “Okay, books, cards, blanket.” He looked over at where Curly was keeping watch by the window. “Curly, do you want anything?”

Curly mumbled, “CouldIpleasehaveaballandglove?”

“You bet, Curly, I have those in my room. I’ll throw some with you.”

Curly blew his nose and wiggled his ears in thanks.

Just then, Freddy’s special phone rang. Someone was at the entrance to the lab.

Freddy answered it, “Who’s there?”

“Howie Kapowie.”

“Password?”

“Adam Spanker poops in his pants.”

Freddy pressed a button, there was a scream, and Howie fell from the ceiling and into a pile of straw.

“I thought you were going to fix that,” complained Howie. “Now I’ve got hay up my butt.”

“I’ve been a little busy, Howie,” Freddy shot back.

“I came here to tell you something really important. I was at my aunt’s flower shop today when this stranger came in and ordered a bunch of flowers to be delivered to the Spankers’ restaurant the day before the parade. I saw his car outside. It had New York license plates.”

“Was he well-dressed and short with blond hair and a thin mustache?”

“That’s him.”

“Like you said I bet he’s some big-shot designer they hired to build their float for them. That means the Spankers are breaking the rules.”

“I bet they are, but there’s no way for us to prove it.”

“I guess that’s true,” sighed Freddy.

Howie pulled out a cheese cube and was about to pop it in his mouth when a long purple arm shot out and snagged it.

“Hey,” cried out Howie as he watched his cheese cube disappear into the abyss of Wally’s mouth.

“MMMM. Me love cheese cubes,” said Wally. “Do you have any more?” He headed toward Howie, who started backing up.

“Uh, Freddy, I’m getting ready to pee in my pants here,” yelled a terrified Howie.

“More cheese cubes,” said Wally, as though in a trance as he stalked toward Howie. “Need cheese cubes, feeling faint… need cheese.” He lifted Howie off the ground, turned him upside down, and shook the little boy until a bunch of cheese cubes fell out of Howie’s pockets. Wally sucked these up in an instant. Then he pulled on Howie’s shirt. “Is this edible?”

“FREDDY!” screamed Howie. “I’m about to be eaten over here, for crying out loud.”

Freddy made Wally drop Howie. “Come on, Howie, you can go to the house with me and help me bring some supplies to the Fries.”

A few minutes later Freddy and Howie slipped into the farmhouse. Freddy listened at the door of his father’s bedroom.

“Okay, he’s asleep,” he whispered to Howie. “We’d better make sure my sister’s asleep too.”

When they got to Nancy’s bedroom door they heard the most awful noise.

Howie covered his ears. “What is that? Sounds like an elephant farting.”

“Just my sister snoring. Okay, let’s get to work.”

They piled food, books, balls and gloves, playing cards, a blanket, and other supplies into a wagon and quickly returned to the lab and handed them all out. Howie played ball with Curly while Theodore read and Ziggy lay down with his blanket.

Freddy sat by himself in a corner and stared at a wall. One by one the Fries and Howie stopped what they were doing to watch him.

“You okay, Freddy?” asked Howie.

“You look very sad indeed,” noted Theodore.

Freddy shook his head. “It’s nothing. I’ll be okay.”

“I’ll hit myself in the head and make my arms, legs, and face fall off,” offered Ziggy. The yellow Fry bopped himself in the head and flew apart. Freddy kicked Ziggy in the butt, and the Fry sprang back together.

“Thanks, Ziggy,” said Freddy, but he still looked sad.

“I can bop Meese in the head and make him cry,” suggested Si. “He likes to cry.”

“I do,” admitted Meese. “In fact the only time I’m happy is when I’m bawling my guts out.”

“You know, Freddy, if friends can’t ask other friends to help, there’s something undoubtedly wrong with such a scenario,” said Theodore.

Freddy thought about this for a minute. “Well, maybe there is something you can do.”

Howie and all the Fries eagerly gathered around him.

“There’s a Founders’ Day parade in two days, and we were going to enter the float competition,” began Freddy. Then he quickly told the Fries all about the Burger Castle, the Patty Cakes restaurant, and about Adam Spanker and his gang and what they had done to the Burger Castle float.

“And Spanker’s family controls this town. His dad’s the police chief who arrested my father and who’s still looking to get him over what happened.”

“It sounds like the first step is to refurbish as expeditiously as possible your entry in the competition,” said Theodore.

“Yeah, but first we better fix that thingie-thing they want in the parade,” said Wally.

Theodore looked at his purple friend in exasperation. “That’s what I just said.”

“You guys really want to help me?” asked Freddy.

“You bet,” they all yelled together.

“Okay, let’s get going. Lead the way, Freddy,” said Howie.