Fries Alive

CHAPTER2

Freddy had spent the last week reworking the special project he was doing for the Burger Castle float. Exhausted, he now leaned against the wall of his laboratory. His lab was underneath one of the old barns on the farm he and his family lived on. Over the last few years Freddy had outfitted his lab with leftover equipment and machinery he had found on the farm. The large room was crammed with inventions he had built from old tractors, generators, combines, tillers, lawnmowers, milking machines, and tons of other stuff. He had done many experiments, first under the close eye of his father, but now he did a lot by himself. His father had taught him that a good scientist thought through all the consequences before conducting an experiment. Well, Freddy had given his latest project a lot of thought and work, but he still had a big problem.

There was a loud buzzing sound and Freddy picked up an old phone that was attached to a black cord.

“Who is it?”

“Howie,” said the voice on the phone.

“What’s the password?” Freddy said.

“Adam Spanker eats his own boogers,” said the voice.

“Roger that,” answered Freddy.

“Over and out,” said the voice.

Freddy hit a button on his big lab table. There was a scream and something dropped from the ceiling and landed in a pile of hay behind him.

Howie Kapowie stood unsteadily and brushed the straw off his clothes. He was one of Freddy’s friends. Actually, Howie was Freddy’s only friend. Howie was even smaller than Freddy, with brown hair that had an even bigger cowlick than Freddy’s. He looked unhappily at his chum. “I thought you were going to work out the kinks on the trapdoor. I’ve got straw in my underwear.”

“I’ve been too busy, Howie,” said a weary Freddy. “I’ve been working on this experiment every night for the last week.”

Howie pulled out a cheese cube from his pocket and popped it in his mouth. Howie loved cheese cubes more than anything. “What kind of experiment?”

“Well, I’m trying to make something really special for our Founders’ Day float.”

“But the Spankers win every year.”

“I know. Their float’s pretty awesome this year,” admitted Freddy. “I snuck a peek in their warehouse. There was some strange man in there talking with Chief Spanker.”

“Knowing the Spankers they probably hired him to build it for them.”

“The rules say you have to build your own.”

“The Spankers make their own rules, you know that.”

Freddy sighed, but then looked excited. “Can you keep a secret?”

Howie looked offended. “I’m a Kapowie; we’re very trustworthy people.”

“This is a super top-secret secret of the highest order.”

“Does the fate of the entire world hang in the balance?”

“Quite possibly.”

Howie popped another cheese cube in his mouth. “Okay, I’m cool with that. Let me have it, Freddio.”

Freddy led him over to a door, opened it, and went into a small room. Howie followed him. It was very dark.

“I can’t see anything,” said Howie.

“The lights automatically come on when the door’s closed.”

Freddy shut the door and the whole room lit up.

“AAAAHHHHH!!!” screamed Howie Kapowie, and he fainted.

Freddy looked down at his friend. “Howie? Howie?” Freddy shook his head, reached in Howie’s pocket, pulled out a cheese cube, and held it under his friend’s nose.

Howie’s nostrils started quivering as they sucked in the smell of the cheese. Finally, Howie’s tongue shot out, scooped up the cheese cube, and his eyes opened and he sat up.

“What is THAT?” he asked, pointing.

“I made them for the float. And I thought we could use them as the symbol for the Burger Castle. You know, like Patty Cakes has. Only lots better.”

Howie stood and peered at the figures lined up against the wall. There were five of them, and all except one were a lot taller than Freddy. They sort of looked like French fries, but they were painted bright colors with faces, arms, and legs. The blue one had on a bowtie and wore thick black glasses. The green one wore a baseball cap. The purple one was the biggest of all with a big butt and belly. The yellow one was the smallest, but had really huge eyes and mouth. One half of the red one’s face was smiling, the other half was frowning.

Freddy explained. “At first I just made them out of my Dad’s secret potatoes and wired them so they could do a few movements. But after seeing the Spanker float I knew I needed something a lot cooler than that. So I used microchips from some old computers to hardwire their brains. I used the biggest microchip I had in the blue one. I call him Theodore. The purple one is Wally, because he’s in the shape of a waffle fry. The chip in his brain got damaged, but I figured it would still work. The yellow one is Ziggy. I gave him a very funny feature.” He pointed to the green Fry. “That’s Curly, because he’s a curlicue Fry. He can stretch twenty feet into the air, although I had some problems wiring his voice box.”

“So they can talk?” asked an amazed Howie.

“Well, that’s the general idea. The red Fry I don’t have a name for yet. I split its brain chip in half and did some special wiring to give it two different personalities. I thought it’d be kind of neat.”

Howie timidly walked over and gently touched the purple Fry’s leg.

“What are they made of?”

“That’s the best part. Like I said, I used my dad’s super secret potatoes, but I reinforced them with carbon tubes bonded together. Carbon tubing is stronger than anything else in the universe and it’s more flexible than rubber or plastic. It’s called nanotechnology. My dad worked on it when he was with the government. I also built in an electronic-based nervous system and aluminum skeletal platform.”

“Does your dad know you used his stuff?”

Freddy looked a little nervous. “Uh, I haven’t exactly told him yet. I just sort of borrowed the nanotechnology formula and added the potatoes and a few things of my own. I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“So, how come they’re not talking or moving?”

“That’s the problem. I discovered that the energy source required to jump-start them is huge, at least a million jiggy-watts of power. I don’t have anywhere near enough in my generator. I don’t know what I’m going to do,” he added glumly as he sat on the floor.

Howie sat next to Freddy. “A million jiggy-watts, huh? Heck, the hydroelectric dam where my dad works only has half that much power.”

Freddy looked at his friend. “But aren’t there two dams-an upper and a lower one?”

“Yeah, so?”

“So they each produce half-a-million jiggy-watts?”

“Yeah?”

Freddy said excitedly, “Well, the last time I checked, 500,000 plus 500,000 equals a million.”

“But how are you going to use the dam’s power to fire up the Fries?”

“I know just how, but I’m going to need your help. It could be dangerous, though.”

Howie paled. “Gee, Freddy, I don’t know.”

“Are you my best friend?”

“I’m your only friend.”

“Okay, so are you a man or a mouse?”

Howie pulled out a handful of cheese cubes. “Squeak-squeak,” he said.

“Listen, Howie, if we pull this off, we’ll be world-famous. That’s always been my dream. We’ll meet the president, for gosh sakes. We’ll even go to Disney World.” Howie didn’t look impressed with any of this.

“Gee whiz, Howie, what will it take for you to help me?”

Howie thought for a bit and then said, “The world’s largest cheese cube is at a museum in Paris. It’s made from the world’s most stinky cheese, Pâté du Pooty; it’s a hundred feet high and weighs eight and a half tons.”

“It’s yours.”

“Let’s go get those jiggy-watts.”