Fries Alive

CHAPTER8

As Wally and Ziggy headed down the trail, Wally stopped and sniffed the air.

“Blueberries,” he said after a long whiff. “And strawberries. And now I smell raspberries, and blackberries, and pumpkin, and apple and -”

Ziggy interrupted. “Look up there.” Situated in a big field was a large brick building with twin chimneys out of which smoke was pouring.

“It’s the Pookesville Pie Factory,” observed Ziggy, pointing at the sign over the door.

Wally almost fainted. “Pies! That’s my favorite finger food. Come on, Ziggy.”

“Wait a minute. We came into the woods to hide. Freddy said not to let anyone see us. We can’t go in there.”

“Not to worry, little papoosie, it’s, uh, lunch-time, so everybody will be out eating.”

“How do you know that?”

“It’s a food thing – you’ll just have to trust me. Come on.”

Wally put Ziggy on his broad shoulders and sped toward the building. They slipped in the back door and looked around. Wally’s big eyes grew even larger. The room was as large as a football field. There were big ovens at one end and lots of tables set up on the floor. And on each table there were dozens of different pies.

“Quick, Ziggy, pinch me, I must be dreaming,” said Wally. Ziggy did as he was told. “Ouch,” yelped Wally. “See, I told you, nobody here. All right, little Fry guy, you wait here while old Wally scouts out the place.”

“Remember, Wally, those pies don’t belong to us, so don’t eat them.”

“Eat them! Ziggy, what kind of Fry do you think I am?”

“A big, hungry one.”

“Oh, I smell gooseberry.”

Ziggy hid in the corner while Wally sneaked – to the extent that a large purple Fry can actually sneak anywhere – up to one of the tables and took a long sniff.

“Pumpkin,” he said in a long, hungry moan. “My ninth favorite pie of all time. I could eat it all day.” He started to stick his plump finger in one of the pies when he saw Ziggy staring at him.

“No, Wally. Be strong,” cautioned the yellow Fry.

“If only I weren’t so weak from hunger,” he moaned.

He went farther down the row of tables so that Ziggy couldn’t see him.

“Getting weak… resistance falling… feel food frenzy coming on,” Wally said in halting words. He picked up one of the pies and held it under his nose.

“Wally!” scolded Ziggy, who had followed him.

“Aw, come on, Zig. They have so many pies. They won’t even miss it.”

Ziggy thought about it. “Well, okay, I guess. But only one bite.”

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!” Wally looked around. “But which one? Apple…? Or blueberry…? Pumpkin…? Or banana cream over there…? And there’s strawberry. Yum, I love strawberry. Oh, there’s Key lime over there. Me LOVE Key lime. I want them all. Can’t decide, mind failing, resistance nearly gone, must try and stop… but…”

As he was talking Wally’s eyes started spinning and his tongue started wagging like a big, thirsty dog. His fingers were bending and unbending and his belly was heaving up and down.

“Uh, Wally, are you okay?” asked Ziggy.

Right at that moment, Freddy ran panting into the pie factory and saw Wally and Ziggy.

“Just fine, little papoosie. Wally’s just… just… just… FFFFFFIIIINNNNEEEE!”

“No!” yelled Freddy. “Don’t!”

Ziggy saw it coming too and ducked just in time. Wally opened his mouth as wide as he could and took one humongous breath. All of sudden there was an enormous suction force in the room. The tables started to quiver and the windows rattled and the tablecloths started whipping around.

Then the first pie flew off the table and was sucked right into Wally’s gaping mouth. Another pie – a key lime – zipped right through the air, followed by several others. Then the whole table of key limes followed. And then the apples, and banana creams, and raspberries… and within barely a minute every pie in the place was now in Wally’s bulging mouth. The purple Fry was now so large that his belly touched one wall and his butt the other.

Hearing the commotion, the pie factory workers ran out of another room and were immediately caught in the suction. They grabbed onto pipes that ran along the wall so they wouldn’t end up in Wally’s mouth too. When Wally finally closed his mouth and gave a huge swallow, the suction stopped and the workers fell to the floor.

Ziggy stared at his purple friend with his huge eyes. “Wally, look what you did. I said just one bite!”

“Well, it was only one bite. There was just a lot in it.”

“Hey, you!” shouted one of the workers, pointing at Wally and Ziggy.

“Wally, Ziggy!” yelled Freddy. “Run, guys!” He ducked down before the man saw him.

“Oh boy, time to head out, little papoosie,” said Wally.

“But we have to stay here and explain all this,” countered Ziggy. “I’m sure they’ll understand.”

Wally stared at the men as they picked up chairs and sticks and came at them like junkyard dogs circling an intruder.

“We’ll write ’em a letter instead,” hissed Freddy. “Come on!”

But now they were surrounded. As Wally shrank back, one of the workers came forward holding a stick.

“Okay, what’s your name?” the worker called out to Ziggy.

Ziggy’s little face scrunched up into something very frightening.

“MY NAME IS ZIGGY!” he screamed so loudly that the force of air coming out of his mouth knocked the stick out of the man’s hand. But in his excitement Ziggy bumped his head against a table and his arms, legs, and face immediately fell off.

All the workers screamed at this horrible sight and fled the room.

Wally looked at most of Ziggy lying on the floor. “Wow, little papoosie, that was really cool. How’d you do that?”

Ziggy’s mouth moved from where it was on the floor. “I don’t know. And how do I put myself back together?”

Freddy ran up, kicked Ziggy in the butt, and all his parts sprang back up and reattached themselves.

“Sorry, Ziggy, I didn’t have time to tell you about that special feature of yours. I thought, you know, it would be kind of funny.”

“Hey, how’d you do that?” asked Wally.

“Relative theory of magnetic conductivity and reverse polarity phenomenon.”

“That would’ve been my guess,” concluded Wally.

Freddy said, “Now let’s get out of here before they come back.”

They ran out as fast as they could go, which wasn’t all that fast since Wally was so much bigger now.

Once outside they hurried into the woods, but Wally slowed down and then stopped. He let out a burp so loud that five squirrels fell out of a tree and three deer roaming nearby fainted from sheer terror. “Not feeling too good,” complained Wally.

“Well, I guess so. You just ate four hundred pies!” exclaimed Ziggy.

“Four hundred? You sure? Seemed closer to two-fifty. OOOOHHHH! Be right back,” mumbled Wally. He ran behind some trees. Freddy and Ziggy heard a bunch of disgusting sounds, and when Wally came back he was normal size – at least for a huge purple thing.

“Feel better?” asked Freddy.

“Lots,” he said with a big smile and rubbed his hands together. “So, we had dessert. What say we grab a little lunch?”

Freddy could only stare at the big purple guy. Then he walked off, shaking his head while Ziggy followed him, doing the very same thing.

They came back to where the trails branched off and found Howie, Curly, and Si and Meese waiting for them there.

“Where’s Theodore?” asked a frantic Freddy.

Curly pointed down the center path. “Hewentthataway.”

Freddy paled. “But that leads to downtown Pookesville!”

“Oh boy!” exclaimed Howie. “That isn’t good.”

“All of you just stay here,” yelled Freddy, and he ran as fast as he could toward downtown Pookesville.