From Rags

CHAPTER SIX

There would always be times when Connor questioned what exactly had inspired his mate to make him god-father of his son. He’d never thought of himself as role-model material, despite that he was admired and respected for coming from nothing and achieving what he had. Even though Jaxx had always insisted there was good in him, all he’d been able to see was a volatile temper and an overbearing nature. Then there was the fact that nowadays he had a reputation as a womaniser.

Yet, here was Dane’s two and a half year old son, Little Dane, hanging off Connor’s neck talking about Thomas the Tank Engine and calling him Uncle Connor. He had met Dane when he was sixteen when they were both in the Young Driver’s Support Programme. Dane hadn’t had a similar upbringing to Connor but seemed to understand him and never looked down on Connor for not coming from wealth as he had. When Dane got married Connor had expected to see much less of him but Dane and Niki always invited him round. It hadn’t escaped his notice that his god-father duties were pretty damn heavy. Sometimes he wondered if Dane was trying to domesticate him.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, mate, but you look knackered,” said Dane as he settled down on his sofa to watch the football match, crossing his long legs.

Connor, who was slouched in one of the armchairs with Little Dane on his lap, shrugged. “Not sleeping much lately.”

“You never sleep much. But today you look like shite.”

He shrugged again. “Training hard in the day and then not getting much kip in the night will do that to you.”

“You’re not losing sleep over Anita, are you?”

Connor snorted; that question wasn’t even worth an answer.

Dane nodded approvingly, making his tousled dark hair fall over his forehead. “I never could stomach her. I wasn’t really all that surprised when Niki said Anita was planning to get pregnant thinking it would trap you. Why she thought Niki wouldn’t tell me something like that and I wouldn’t then tell you is beyond me.”

“You’re not talking about her, are you?” Niki grumbled as she entered the room and sat snuggled into her husband’s side. She held out her arms invitingly to Little Dane but he shook his head madly, wanting to stay with Connor. Niki had taken an immediate dislike to Anita, instantly picking up on her deviousness. She hadn’t liked the way the actress clung to Connor either. It was unhealthy. But Niki had still been friendly and pleasant to keep things from being awkward for Connor. Anita, however, had read more into their ‘friendship’ and treated Niki as her confidant. If she hadn’t, the manipulative woman might be pregnant with Connor’s baby right now.

“Niki’s right, she’s not worth even thinking about,” said Connor.

“True. Still gets my blood boiling though.” Dane had been through something similar himself; an ex of his had turned up claiming the baby she was pregnant with was his, hoping to drive Niki away. Niki, however, had seen the crazy cow for what she was and had stuck by Dane. Paternity tests had then proven the baby wasn’t his at all. To think he could have lost Niki because of some callous lies…They would never have gotten married, wouldn’t have all that they had now, and Little Dane wouldn’t even exist. A world without his son – he couldn’t even imagine it.

“Connor, do me a favour and pass those magazines to me please. They’re on the little table next to your chair.” Holding out her hand, Niki waited for him to pass them over. However he stopped still as something on the cover of one of the magazines caught his eye. He had the oddest expression on his face. “Connor?” Quickly he handed them over. Curious, she examined the cover. She smiled. “Oh I remember reading something in the papers about you and her getting together after that charity event.”

“Who?” asked Dane.

“Jaxxon Carter.”

Dane enquiringly raised a brow at his mate who just nodded, verifying it was true. Dane thought it was odd that Connor wasn’t saying a word and was wearing a blank expression. The girl was absolutely gorgeous, any male would be smug to have had her. And yet Connor wasn’t even wearing a very-pleased-with-himself smirk.

“She is beautiful,” conceded Niki. What she wouldn’t give to exchange her thick, wavy red hair for those silky curls. If she could also exchange her pale complexion for Jaxxon Carter’s olive skin she’d be a happy woman. “From everything I’ve read she’s a right character. She doesn’t seem conceited or uppity, seems really down to earth. Is she?” She looked at Connor for confirmation. He simply nodded. Niki cast a confused glance at Dane who looked equally confused.

In Dane’s experience, there was only one reason why a male kept totally zipped on what was going on between him and a woman – there was a little more to it than physical stuff. He winked at Niki then signaled for her to leave the room.

“I need to phone my mum about Sunday,” announced Niki. “Dane, want to come and talk to Nan on the phone?” The two year old nodded excitedly and bounded out of the room.

Dane picked up the magazine Niki had been looking at and whistled at the photo of Jaxxon Carter on the cover. “If I weren’t married I’d happily shag that.”

Connor’s head whipped round. It was an effort not to growl. It wasn’t unusual for Dane to comment on one of Connor’s ‘conquests’, as Dane liked to call them, but Jaxx was anything but a conquest. “Don’t let Niki hear you talking like that.”

“I’ll bet she was a good shag.” Dane could swear Connor was grinding his teeth. “Are those tits real?” Still no response. “Come on, give me some details.”

Connor was seriously considering punching his mate.

“I’ve never known you to tap a model. You always said they got on your nerves ’cause they were so vain.”

“Well the ones I’ve met in the past were but, like Niki said, Jaxx isn’t.” Connor inwardly groaned as he realised he’d only gone and abbreviated her name in front of Dane.

Dane chose not to comment on how Connor had shortened the girl’s name but it wasn’t easy to hide his smile. “Mate, I don’t blame you for breaking your rule. If I’d had a girl like that throwing herself at me – before Niki, I mean – there’s no way I’d have turned her down.” He saw something on Connor’s face that made his suppressed smile break free. “Oh,” he chuckled. “She didn’t throw herself at you at all, did she? You had to do the chasing for once in your life.” He chuckled again. “Oh I like this girl. I have to meet her.”

Connor scowled. “Drop it, Dane.”

“Not a chance. I’ve been waiting for this for far too long. I intend to enjoy it.”

“Waiting for what?”

“For you to get sucked in by a woman.”

“I haven’t been sucked in.”

Dane snorted. “Sure you haven’t, mate. Why chase her when you’ve a got a line of women waiting then? Why’re you so prickly about me complimenting her?”

Connor concluded that he had to give him something if he was going to shut him up. He sighed. “I knew her before all this.”

“Before?”

“Yeah. Before.”

“You mean, like, you were together back then when you were teenagers?” asked Dane. Then something occurred to him. “She’s not the girl you mentioned that time I found you absolutely hammered when you were seventeen, is she? You said something about it being her fifteenth birthday and you’d had to get yourself well and truly rat-arsed or you’d have gone to see her.” Connor’s silence told Dane everything. “Let me ask you something then. If Jaxxon Carter is that girl who was important enough to you that you would drink yourself into a stupor over her – something I’ve never known you to do over anything – and she’s now back in your life again, why are you sitting here with me?”

Oh Connor was deeply regretting that he was there with Dane. All Connor had really wanted was to distract himself from thoughts of Jaxx. He had managed to ruffle her on Sunday and knew he couldn’t afford to allow her too much of a reprieve or a lot of recovery time. He needed to be right there taking up her breathing space if he had any chance of wearing her down. However he had also wanted her to sweat, wondering when he’d next show. Plus, a few days for her to cool off would help his cause. But thinking about her all the time wasn’t helping him keep to his plan.

If he was honest, they weren’t the only reasons he was staying away. It rattled him that he had such a driving urge to see her. Since kissing her on Sunday, he hadn’t been able to shake the memory of how she tasted, and he hadn’t wanted to. What he wanted was more. Maybe it was time to go and get it.

“Please tell me you’re done ’cause I’m freezing my tits off here!” griped Jaxxon, to which ‘Uncle’ Tony and his small crew chuckled. It was alright for them; they weren’t required to appear one with bloody nature in the chilly evening air wearing a thin dress.

“We’re done now, chick,” said Tony, almost drowned out by the bustle of the equipment being gathered to be loaded into the SUV which was parked down the hill.

Literally dithering, she leapt from the fallen tree she had been posed on and dived into her coat. She saw Tony’s smug look and shot him a glare that swore revenge. The idiotic man had come with the proposal of her modeling a collection of designer dresses made by a friend of his. Regardless of the fact that he was a popular designer, Jaxxon wasn’t keen on modeling skimpy things that revealed her body. Her response had been ‘Oh no’. Ollie had said ‘Sounds good’. Richie had said ‘I like that designer’. Their claims that she was out-voted meant jack to her, so Tony had resorted to gambling. He had bet her that she couldn’t get through a photo-shoot without swearing. Of course he’d won, so there she was in the middle of a woodland area having spent the day posing on rocks and protruding tree trunks.

“Just think, in a few weeks’ time you’ll be on that tour advertising the Allure line, sunning it up in places like Miami,” said Tony as he urged her to walk beside him down the hill. “You won’t be shivering then. Have you thought anymore about going to that trip to Milan before you go?”

“Still undecided.”

“Oh, chick, you don’t want to miss an opportunity like that. Others would kill to have a famous designer release an exclusive collection for them to model in their very own name. Did they want to use just your first name or was it your surname as well?”

“Tone, you must know by now that I’m not seeking the keys to Catwalk-dom. Strutting just isn’t me.”

“If nothing else, you can go over there and find yourself a fine, rich hubby whose life you can make miserable even while he adores you.”

“Funny, Tone.”

“Did Richie tell you about FHM magazine wanted you to pose for it?” he asked, smiling.

“You know very well what my response was to that. No way am I spreading myself all over a men’s magazine.”

Tony giggled. “Jaxxon, darlin, blokes will wank over that body of yours whether you’re in a men’s mag in your underwear or not, so what’s the difference?”

“I wouldn’t be comfortable on display like that.”

“Why? You’ve got the body for it, though I can’t for the life of me figure out how you can’t see that for yourself. Go on, give the men of your country something to add to their wank-bank.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Anthony Masters you are going to roast in the lowest level of hell.”

He laughed. “Oh, speaking of roasts, Lily asked me to invite you over for Roast Dinner on Sunday again. She also asked to adopt you but I told her that would be pushing it a bit.”

Jaxxon chuckled. “I wouldn’t miss one of your wife’s Roast Dinners for anything.”

“I’ll try to make sure my son doesn’t drool all over you this time. I suppose sticking him in the shed is always an option.”

“I still can’t believe Ant’s sixteen, he only looks about twelve.”

He nodded. “Don’t say that in front of him. The lads have always given him grief over it. Poor bugger – when you were in the annexe we swore him to secrecy so you wouldn’t have fans sitting outside the house, so now that you’ve moved out he told all his mates you used to live there and they didn’t believe him. He was guttered.”

“Aww.” Jaxxon giggled. As they continued toward the vehicles he told her which were his favourite shots and teased her about which were most wank-worthy. She swatted his arm for that. Jaxxon hadn’t thought much of the azure-blue convertible parked next to her Audi until she saw the figure leaning against it. Her heart stuttered and her stomach knotted. It had been three days since he had ‘visited’ her apartment; three days during which she had wondered when he would be in touch again, three days during which every time she had unlocked the door to her apartment she had wondered if he was waiting inside, three days during which she had hated herself for obsessing about it all.

Connor grinned at Jaxx’s scowl. He hadn’t expected a warm, welcoming reception, especially since he technically shouldn’t know where she was, but he wanted her to know how easily he could find her. As always, the urge to touch her had his fingers tingling. Seeing those bare legs of hers had his cock rising to attention. That scowl…Did she have any idea what she did to him?

“You gonna be alright?” Tony asked her as the sexual tension smothered him like humidity in summertime. He saw the way the F1 bloke was looking at her and he didn’t like it. People stared at Jaxxon all the time but this was different. He made Tony think of a predator that had already caught his prey and was finding humour in watching it try to get away.

“I’ll be fine, Tone,” she reassured him with a nod and a half-smile. Then she stood in front of her car, keeping at least three feet between her and Connor. She could feel her body tightening with a carnal hunger. His primitive need for her was beating at her skin, making her close to vibrating with her own. He was so magnificently masculine that it hurt. As his dark, hooded eyes roamed over her a blast of heat coursed through her.

Once they were alone she spoke, “I won’t ask how you got my schedule.” The smoky tint to her voice betrayed her desire. Same way he got her phone number and address, she imagined. Ollie’s secretary was obviously easily charmed.

“I’ll always be able to find you, Jaxx. Remember that.”

“What do you want?”

“Only the same thing I’ve always wanted: You.”

His frank words didn’t help reduce her horniness level. “I already made clear my feelings on that issue. For the record, they haven’t changed. So now you can run along home.”

She was so wrong. As it was, Connor was rooted to the spot by the thick and heady lust in her brown eyes. He conceded to himself that it was in fact possible that if he didn’t get to touch her in some way he would break down and pounce on her. He regarded her Audi. “I remember you used to say you’d buy a car like that if you won the Lotto. Ever fucked in a car, Jaxx?”

She snickered at what was more of a proposition than a question. “You really do have selective hearing, don’t you.”

He shrugged. “I want you. You want me. I don’t get why you’re fighting it. I don’t get what I’ve done to make you want to fight me.”

“Basically, then, this is like a mathematical equation to you? ‘I want you’ plus ‘You want me’ equals ‘Shag’?”

Just the way she said that last word had his cock hardening excruciatingly. He shrugged again, smirking.

“Connor,” she said tiredly. “If you want sex so bad I’m sure there are easier ways to get it than chasing after an anti-social bitch.”

“I don’t want sex so bad, I want you so bad. There’s a difference.”

He said it so resolutely that Jaxxon knew Plan A wasn’t a viable option. The bloke had no intention of letting this go, probably just because her rejection was biting his ego. Worse still, her body didn’t appear to care that he could so easily emotionally scar her for life, and the importance of the fact that he had already caused her pain was fading against the pressure of the mindless lust. “Alright.”

“Alright what?”

She pinned his gaze with her own. “You’re right. I do want you, whether I like it or not. So” – she lazily unzipped her coat – “I’m going to take this off, then I’m going to brace myself against one of those trees behind me” – she flung the coat on the hood of the Audi – “and we’ll see what you want to do about it.” His eyes darkened, his nostrils flared and his Adam’s apple bopped. That seemed promising.

Turning, she advanced through the cluster of trees and over to an old oak. She stood with her palms flat against the tree and her feet a foot apart. She needed it to be like this; nothing that anyone could term romantic or loving. Out in the open, in relative darkness, facing away from him, and not even naked. It would just be sex. No emotions. No gentle shite. No flowery words. No sense of closeness. Just burning out this overwhelming need.

Connor wondered why he was stood there like an idiot when he could be touching and caressing that body that had been tormenting his every waking thought – and his dreams, for that matter. The answer? He hadn’t wanted it to be this way. He had envisioned having her spread-eagled on his bed while he feasted on her and savoured every minute. This seemed too impersonal. Sordid, even. But that didn’t mean that he would or could walk away. He would take her any way he could get her.

Each moment that went by was agonising for Jaxxon. Her entire body was on high alert. Anticipation was twisting around inside her as she waited for him to touch her somewhere, anywhere. Just when she began to wonder if the rat was backing out, there was the rustle of footsteps in the grass. Hands landed on her outer thighs as a hot mouth landed on her earlobe, sucking and nibbling. His splayed hands slowly skated upwards, edging under her dress, as he trailed kisses along the curve of her neck. She nearly groaned from that alone. Jaxxon let her head fall back on his shoulder to give him better access to her very sensitive neck. Her stomach clenched as his hands reached her thong, but instead of getting to work they slid down her inner thighs. His movements were too slow for her liking. She would have snapped at him with impatience but then his fingertips bit into her skin as they ascended and one hand cupped her while the other continued upwards under her dress and palmed her bra clad breast. A soft moan was followed by a gasp as a finger slid passed her thong and along her wet crease.

“You know, Jaxx, I have to ask myself why you caved just like that.” He worked a finger inside her and groaned inwardly at how wet she was and at how her muscles tightened around his finger. “You’re one of the most stubborn people I know. You’ve fought me since you first saw me again. And up until, what, five minutes ago, you wanted to fight this.”

Jaxxon was beginning to think this might not have been a good idea. Not only was his every touch sending a thundering rush of desire through her that topped anything she had ever before known, but the fact that they were outside and it was dark was only adding to the thrill. Her back arched slightly as he thumbed a hard nipple through the lacy bra. And now his finger was picking up its rhythm…Oh Jesus. They needed to get to the shagging part quickly. Why was he still talking?

“I can’t work out why you just threw in the towel like that.” The complete turn-around was really bugging him. If she had caved during a moment of pleasure then he could have accepted that. But for her to go from a confrontational stance to a ‘shag me’ position – he just didn’t get it. He was about to say as much but then that perfect arse teasingly rubbed against his hard cock. Control gone. He drove his hand into her chocolate-brown curls, yanked her face to his and slammed his mouth down on hers. He took complete possession of it, tangling his tongue with hers over and over and then sucking on it. As he added another finger inside her she hummed her satisfaction into his mouth. It was going to be a tight fit. He scissored his fingers; stretching her, teasing her, preparing her. “Why the sudden white flag, Jaxx?”

“For God’s sake,” she snapped. The bloke never let up. “I’m horny and I want you; if that’s not enough, if this was only fun when I was resisting you, then get into your car and piss off.” His fingers stilled. A moment later he withdrew them. For a second she thought he was leaving but then she heard the telling sound of a wrapper being torn and a zipper being lowered. Her thong went with a snap. Finally she felt the tip of his condom covered cock teasing her soaking wet entrance.

Connor caught her hips firmly and worked an inch inside her. So tight. He closed his eyes against the temptation to plunge into her; he was long and thick and she was so tight. She squirmed and her muscles clutched at him, trying to take him further inside. But he held himself immobile and tightened his grasp on her hips to stop her squirms. “Want more?”

Oh he better not be one of those people who loved to hear begging. She didn’t do begging. She gave him a curt nod.

“Then tell me who’s inside you.”

“What?”

“I need to know you’re not picturing yourself with just anyone.” It bugged him that she wanted to have her back to him. “I need to hear that you know it’s me who’s about to bury my cock inside you and fuck you raw.”

A tremor rippled down the length of her spine. “I’m not picturing anyone else.”

He rewardingly pushed in another inch. Her muscles clamped down on him, practically squeezing the life out of him. “Then you can tell me who’s inside you.”

Swallowing her profanity, she relented. “Connor.” He gave her another inch. God the feeling of him stretching her…It tingled, it burned, it stung. It was absolutely amazing. She was sure that she hadn’t accommodated someone so thick before.

“Tell me again.” He didn’t doubt for one minute that his insistence would have her snapping at him, but he wouldn’t let her try to treat this as a nightly encounter with a stranger.

“Connor.”

Another inch. He groaned. She was so gorgeously hot and tight around him. It was taking every ounce of his control not to fully sheath himself in one last stroke. It really didn’t help that her body language was egging him on to do exactly that. “Again, Jaxx.”

So far Jaxxon had bit back at least a dozen curses and even resisted the temptation to stomp on his foot, but now he was just cheesing her off. She growled. “Christ, Connor, either stop with this crap and fuck me or sod off and I’ll get someone else to take care of the itch.” He stiffened and everything suddenly seemed deathly quiet. Alright maybe that wasn’t the smartest thing to say. But the bloke was getting on her wick, and he knew it.

She silently cursed herself as he withdrew from her. Yep, she’d pushed too far. But then he abruptly slammed into her, seating himself to the hilt. Her eyes snapped open and she cried out at the painful but so blissful invasion.

He bit her ear. “Don’t talk to me about letting another bloke touch you.” He surged into her again. “D’you hear me? Don’t.” It didn’t matter that they weren’t in a relationship. It didn’t matter that once the lust had burnt away they’d go their separate ways. His soul had already claimed her as his a long time ago and would always see her that way no matter where in the world she was or who – he hated even the thought of it – she was with. The idea of another bloke’s hands on her…It would always drive him to breaking point.

Jaxxon’s back was arched like a bow as he plunged in and out of her with hard, fast, powerful strokes. She threw her head back to rest on his shoulder again, relishing every sensation. He nibbled and kissed and sucked on her neck. She knew he was purposely marking her but she couldn’t find it in herself to care; the concoction of heat, lust and bliss that was blasting through her like a hot wind was so intense that it left no room for anything else. It was all simply too much. It was nowhere near enough.

“Ten years, Jaxx,” he gritted out. “Ten years we’ve wanted this and you thought you could ignore it?”

He was right, she acknowledged. It was always going to happen. From the moment she had heard his voice again on her machine, it was inevitable. But even if she had been prepared to admit that aloud, it seemed that she had forfeited the power of speech in favour of carnal bliss. She was adrift in the sensation of his thick, long shaft pumping in and out of her. She knew that with one touch to her clit she’d go off like a sodding volcano.

As the tenor of her cries signaled to Connor that her climax was looming, he pulled out of her, spun her round and meshed his lips with hers. The kiss was raw and primitive just like their joining. The second he lifted her she locked her legs around him. Then, holding her gaze, he drove into her over and over and over, making her take everything he had to give.

Jaxxon clung to him, her nails digging into his back through his shirt. She loved the feel of him so deep inside her. But she didn’t like the eye contact. It made her feel exposed, vulnerable even; she didn’t want him to see the truth that this was more to her than just a shag in the dark, an itch to a scratch. She tucked her face into the crook of his neck. She was so close now.

“Look at me, Jaxx.”

Oh the bastard.

“Look. At. Me.” He wanted to be caught up in that feral gaze when they both came. “Jaxx.”

Hoping against hope that the out-of-control sensations spiraling through her might disguise any deeper emotions from her eyes, she lifted her head. And just like that, at the raw possessiveness and fevered passion she saw on his face, a violent climax tore through her.

Connor covered her mouth with his own, capturing her scream, as his own release hit and his seed exploded out of him. “Fuck.”

Neither of them moved as, panting and gasping for breath, they waited for the aftershocks to subside. He wanted to say something but didn’t know what. He could tell her the truth; that that had been the best sex of his life; that it hadn’t been meaningless to him like every other shag he’d had; that he’d missed her so fucking much. But wouldn’t telling her that be the equivalent of leading her to believe that more could come of this?

Jaxxon slid down his body, not letting it show that she felt the loss of him being buried deep within her. It hadn’t been as good as she’d always imagined it might be, it had been a million times better. “Not bad, McKenzie.” She was going for calm, flippant and casual. It must have worked a lot better than she thought because his eyes bugged and his mouth drooped open. Clearly he had been hoping for a much more decent compliment. She fixed her dress, praying her legs would support her quick exit. No sign of her torn thong. Great. Seeing that he already had questions in her eyes, she decided she’d just have to leave the thong – it was time to go.

“Not bad, McKenzie,” he echoed in a tone filled with disbelief as he removed the condom and zipped up his pants. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he called after her as she scuttled off. “Is that all you can say?”

“What do you want me to say?” She retrieved her coat from the hood of her Audi and slung it onto the passenger seat as she hopped into the car. Before she could close the door a hand grabbed it tightly. She looked up to see a highly annoyed bloke. “Connor, what’s the problem? We both got what we wanted. We’re both going home satisfied.”

“So that’s it? One shag and done?” It wasn’t lost on him that he sounded a lot like some of the women he had shagged in the past.

Jaxxon veiled the relief she felt at hearing that he hadn’t had just a one-off shag in mind, it was going to take more than the one time to rid him from her system. But she couldn’t let him see that weakness. Connor was, essentially, a predator. Predators and weaknesses did not mix well. She maintained her casual air. “Alright, look, I’ve got a lot on at the minute but I don’t see why we can’t get together again. Phone me.” With that she snatched the door from his grasp, banged it shut and drove off without a second look. It was the only way to keep herself safe – she couldn’t let anyone in, especially not Connor McKenzie.