Holy Cow

A NOTE FROM THE COW-WRITER

It’s been brought to my attention that certain aspects of Elsie’s story are implausible: that our heroes could actually pass for humans as they make their way around the world; that Shalom could actually find a mohel willing to work his magic on a pig; that Elsie could be a milk cow before giving birth; and, maybe most suspect of all, that all three of their intercontinental flights abroad left on time. I know Elsie; perhaps she is given to embellishment like any good storyteller, perhaps to outright lies like any great storyteller. I was taught in school to “trust the tale, not the teller,” and I would ask you, dear reader, to extend this generosity to our friends in the animal kingdom.

Trust the tail, not the teller.

DAVID DUCHOVNY