Holy Cow

5 OUTSIDE THE GATE

See what I did there? I left you on a poetic cliffhanger. And a chapter title again. Gives you a chance to take a break, maybe dog-ear a page, get something to eat, and when you come back, the chapter heading will refocus you on the story. Like a Jedi, I tell you, a Jedi. But really, I’m just thinking about your comfort and enjoyment.:)

It was a pretty moonless night. It was pretty, and it was moonless, so it was pretty moonless. Which was good news for Mallory and me, ’cause it would be harder to see us in the near-total darkness. We waited for what seemed like forever for the rest of the animals in the barn to fall asleep, and for the dogs to stop nosing around. Don’t get me wrong, dogs are fine, though about half are bitches, but because they are often allowed to sleep in the house and are considered to be domesticated and man’s best friend and all, they tend to have a pretty high opinion of themselves and think whatever they do is the right thing ’cause it’s for the boss, the farmer. I actually feel sorry for them a little, ’cause they’re neither here nor there, neither fully animal nor fully human; they’re caught somewhere between wolf and man, wild and mild, and that must be pretty confusing at times, and sad. Like broccaflower. Dogs are the broccaflower of the animal kingdom.

The two dogs on our farm are called Will and Grace, a couple of border collies. Like I said, smart and stuck-up. So Will and Grace are patrolling around, barking at nothing, saying things to each other like “sector four clear, sector two clear,” I mean, come on, it’s a farm, dudes, no sectors. Anyway, after they’re convinced all the sectors are clear, they run back to the house to go do whatever it is they do in the house. I listen to the sounds in the barn, lots of snoring, some shuffling, but generally the contented, murmurry sounds of sleeping animals. It’s a little like music. But this night, I’m not going to stay till the end of the concert. To talk like one of the dogs, I lean over to Mallory and whisper, “It’s go-time.”