Incomplete And Utter History Of Classical Music

DANDY

s o, what's happened since our last little chat? Well, let's see.

Johnson's Dictionary has been out seven years now, taking its place on all good bibliophiles' shelves, alongside, perhaps, Laurence Sterne's Tristram Shandy, Voltaire's Candide and, just this year, Rousseau's Social Contract.

Not so much of a bedtime read, that last one. The same house that had a burgeoning bookshelf also might have had one of Thomas Chippendale's cabinets - very 'This Year' - or even a painting by George Stubbs. George Stubbs was more or less like Damien Hirst in his time, except that he left his subjects whole and favoured oil over formaldehyde. Josiah Wedgwood had, only a couple of years ago, started a pottery in Etruria, Staffordshire, and, more recendy, Beau Nash had… well, been busy being Beau Nash - dandy and bon-viveur. Great tide, isn't it, Dandy? I can just imagine him down the job Centre. In fact, I think there's mention of such an incident in Fry's (llassical Lives. Gosh, that book is useful. I had been a guest of the government before, and found their weekly gatherings at the 'Maison de Travail* to be not unpleasant. On this occasion, I found myself next in the queue to the great bon-viveur, raconteur and general dandy Mr Beau Nash Indeed, at one point it appeared that he had been 'viveur-ing' rather too???-ly' the previous night, and his right cheek made a more than passing acquaintance with my shoulder. When it came to his turn to demonstrate his government artistry, I woke him from his slumbers and prompted him to play his part. He requested mat I accompany him to his desk, as he had a touch of gout mat might make his walking a little less stable than normal. This I was glad to do, and, as a result, I was by his side for the entire encounter, which passed in something like this manner. TMame?' 'Nash, Beau.' 'Occupation?' 'Dandy' 'Sorry?' 'Dandy,' I say 'Dandy?'

'Yes sir, dandy I am a dandy I… I… I dand. And frequendy Now pray tell me, my good man… I am present primarily to solicit travails and labours wherein I might, by their subsequent execution, seek to procure, for my own part, a modest pecuniary - some might say nummular - advantage. What say you?'

The representative of good King George raised his head. 'Come again?' he said, somewhat nonplussed.

Nash stared at him, sniffed once and said, 'Gizza job!' What a beautiful extract. How lucky we are to have such a fine account of the times. Thank goodness for my forefathers, that's all I can say.