Last Orders

Lenny

He gives me the bag. He don't look at me, he looks at the guidebook. It's like the only reason he's given me the bag is so he can flick through the guidebook. But I can see it aint. He's studying that guidebook like it's got all the answers.

He says, 'They got the Black Prince in here somewhere.'

I say, 'Who's he when he's in?' Maybe they got Snow White an' all.

He says, 'I reckon we should find the Black Prince.'

I say, 'Whatever you say, Big Boy.'

So we shuffle on, down some steps and up some steps, past all these geezers made of stone, lying face up, flat out, out for the count.

I reckon he's sorry, that's what he is. I reckon he's trying to make amends. We've all got a bit of that to do if you look back over the years. Excluding Vie maybe. Clean hands, as always.

Seeing as there's three of us here involved, counting Raysy. And Sally's paid her price, if you can say she ever deserved to in the first place, being the innocent party, or at least the least guilty. Since I don't suppose it happened while she was looking the other way. It was Vincey's doing in the first place, but it was me who said, when she came right out with it and said she wanted to have the baby, 'No you don't, my girl.' My first fully weighed-up response as a father, words just shot from my gob. She said he'd come back and do right by her. I said, 'Don't talk bollocks, girl. What book've you been reading?' And she aint ever forgiven me since.

I reckon that's when it really happened, that's when we really parted company, though it wasn't till later, till she teamed up with that Tyson toe-rag, then started taking on all-comers, that I washed my hands altogether, did a Vie. Daughters, eh Raysy?

It was me who found the doc to do the job. O'Brien. And it was me who found the money to pay him. I need a winner, Raysy, I need some readies double quick. So Raysy was a party.

You just leave it all to me, girl, you just make yourself ready. Well, you should've thought of that. You just make yourself nice and ready.

And the fact is I never even spared a thought at the time for that poor little unborn perisher. Except it went through my head, like some sort of excuse, like some sort of cockeyed warning, that it might turn out like June, it might turn out to have been better not born. Settling up for your sins. So, either way, you end up short.

And the fact is that when you can remember, just a few years before, loading and firing, loading and firing, whacking it home and knowing that that's a few more of 'em blown to bits, and not thinking twice about it, even being glad, because it's them not you, less of them to do it to you and it's only what's asked of you, any case, what you're trained for, then what's one little unborn sod who aint ever going to see the light of day?

Gunner Tate.

And what they call a sin and a crime and against the law at one time aint at another, is it? Like if it'd been five years later, we could've solved that little problem, no fuss, all above board and legal. Different time, different rules. Like one moment we're fighting over a whole heap of desert, next we're pulling out of Aden snappy.

It's only now that I think what it might've been. It. He. She. A whole life. All these stony geezers. It might've been the next Archbishop of Canterbury. It might've been Kath, Kathy Dodds. Different mother, same result: Vincey's brat. Same old game now, it seems, for Kathy as for Sally anyhow. Just better luck at it. Turns up at the funeral dressed to kill.

I'm carrying the bag, but like it aint got nothing to do with me. Rochester Food Fayre. Vic's walking ahead. I tap him on the shoulder. I say, 'Here, Vie.' Like it's a relay, a relay round Canterbury Cathedral, and it's his lap.