Little Apples

TWENTY-SIX

(Excerpts from a Diary)

June 2nd

After dinner, I pondered the sad state of the Western European economy. I hired her as housekeeper.

June 18th

She was quarrelsome during dinner. From what I can tell, she must be going through some kind of emotional upheaval. I fear she is having an affair. I read in one of the lead articles in Golos that . . . Madness!

December 4th

My gates were opening and shutting all night. At five in the morning I saw Karyavov the clerk leaving the courtyard. When I asked him what he was doing, he was embarrassed. He was obviously up to no good, the rascal. I will have to fire him.

December 28th

She has been quarrelsome all day long. I’m sure someone has been loitering about outside. I caught a mouse in file folder 1302. I killed it.

New Year’s Day

Was wished a happy New Year. I presented her with an edifying book for her improvement. She was quarrelsome all day. Feeling despondent, I wrote a piece called “On the Pecheneg Raids in the District of Ufa.” I had a vision.

January 4th

She tore up both the piece I wrote and the book I gave her. She ordered me to rehire Karyavov. Yes, my sweet darling, right away! That night she was quarrelsome, tore up my papers, flew into hysterics, and informed me that she was leaving for Samara for a rest cure. I will not let her go!

February 6th

She has left! All day I lay on her bed weeping, and have come to the following conclusion: “She is in the best of health and consequently cannot have gone for a cure.” Something else is behind this—a love affair! I suspect that she might be drawn to one of my milksop clerks. But which one? I’ll find out tomorrow, since the culprit is bound to ask for a leave, and I . . . I will give him a good hiding! The gates didn’t keep opening and shutting last night, but I still slept badly. In spite of my dejection, I pondered the terrible state of France. I had two visions at the same time. Lord in heaven, forgive us sinners!

February 7th

I was handed twenty-six requests for leave. From all the clerks! Just you wait! They want to go to Kronstadt. Ha! So now Samara is in Kronstadt, is it? Just you wait!

February 8th

My grief has not diminished. I am deeply dejected. I have launched a reign of terror. All the clerks in the office are in a state of panic—the last thing on their minds is love. I dreamed of Kronstadt.

February 14th

Yesterday, Sunday, Karyavov went somewhere out of town, and today he is strutting about the office with a sarcastic smile on his lips. I am firing him.

February 25th

I received a letter from her. She is ordering me to send her money and to rehire Karyavov. “Yes, my sweet darling, right away!”

Just you wait, you rogues! Yesterday, three more clerks went somewhere out of town. Whose gates are they opening and shutting?