Palace of Desire

103

The wheels of the carriage that stopped in front of Ahmad Abd al-Jawad's store were spattered with the mud of al-Nahhasin Street and with the water collected in its potholes. Mr. Muhammad Iffat, wearing a wool cloak, stepped down and went into the store. He laughingly commented, "We came in a carriage. It would have been safer to come by boat."

It had been pouring rain for a day and a half The ground was soaked, and the alleys and cul-de-sacs were flooded. Although the rains had finally abated, the gloomy sky had not cleared yet. Qouds overshadowed the earth in a dark canopy that made the air murky enough to presage a pitch-black night.

Ahmad Abd al-Jawad welcomed his friend and invited him to sit down. Muhammad Iffat had scarcely settled himself in a chair by the corner of the desk when he disclosed the reason for this unexpected visit: "Don't be surprised that I've come in this weather even though we'll meet at our usual party in a few hours. I wanted to talk to you privately". He laughed as though to apologize for these strange words. Al-Sayyid Ahmad laughed too, but his laughter seemed almost more like a question.

Jamil al-Hamzawi, his head wrapped from chin to crown in a scarf, went to the door, where he called to the waiter at the Qala'un coffeehouse to bring some coffee. Then he returned to his chair, since the rain and cold had freed him from waiting on customers.

Al-Sayyid Ahmad sensed in his heart that there was an important reason for this visit, since it came at a time when only dire necessity could justify it. He was more anxious than usual because of the psychological criseshe had suffered and the ill health he had experienced of late. All the same, he camouflaged his anxiety with a polite laugh and said, "Just before you arrived I was remembering last night and what al-Far looked like dancing. May God strike him down."

Smiling, Muhammad Iffat said, "We're all your pupils! With regard to this, let me tell you what Ali Abd al-Rahim's been saying about you. He claims the headache you've had for the past weeks results from a lack of women in your life during this time."

"A lack of women? Is there any cause for headaches besides women?"

The waiter appeared carrying a yellow tray with glasses of coffee and of water, placed it on the corner of the desk between the two friends, and then departed.

Muhammad Iffat drank some water and said, "It's pleasant to drink cold water in winter. What do you think? But why should I ask? You're one of winter's admirers and bathe every morning in cold water, even now in February. So tell me: Did you like the news of the nationalist conference held in the home of Muhammad Mahmud? We've lived to see Sa'd, Adli, and Tharwat all in a united front once more."

"Our Lord in His wisdom welcomes repentance."

"I don't trust those dogs."

"I don't either. But what can be done? King Fuad's made things worse. It's sad the struggle's no longer against the English."

They began to drink their coffee silently. This indicated, if anything, that the period for making polite conversation had ended. It was time for Muhammad Iffat to speak his mind. He sat up straight and asked al-Sayyid Ahmad earnestly, "What do you hear from Yasin?"

The anxious concern the question evoked was evident in the man's wide eyes. His heart began pounding at an alarming rate. He answered, "Good news! He visits from time to time. The most recent one was last Monday. Is there something new? A matter relating to Maryam? Her whereabouts are unknown. I learned recently that Bayumi the drinks vendor bought her share of her mother's house."

Trying to smile, Muhammad Iffat said, "The matter doesn't concern Maryam. Who knows? Perhapshe's forgotten her. I won't beat around the bush. It's a new marriage."

His heart was pounding again in a frightening way. He exclaimed, "A new marriage! But he's made absolutely no reference to it in his conversations with me."

Muhammad Iffat shook his head regretfully and said, "He's been married for a month or more. Ghunaym Hamidu told me just an hour ago. He assumed you knew all about it."

Al-Sayyid Ahmad's left hand began to fidget with his mustache nervously. Then, as though addressing himself, he said, "It's gone that far! How can I believe it? How could he have kept it from me?"

"The circumstances dictated secrecy. Listen to me. I wanted to tell you the truth before it came to you as an unpleasant surprise. But don't rail against it more than it deserves. And above all, you mustn't get angry. Anger's not something your health can withstand anymore. Remember how tired you've been and have pity onyouiself."

Al-Sayyid Ahmad asked desperately, "Is there a scandal involved? That's what my heart senses. Tell me what you know, Mr. Muhammad."

Muhammad Iffat nodded his head sadly. Then in a low voice he said, "Be the brave Ahmad Abd al-Jawad we've always known. … Yasin's married Zanuba the lute player."

"Zanuba!"

They exchanged glances that showed their full grasp of the significance of this news. Ahmad's discomfort was obvious from his face, and his friend looked apprehensive. The question of the marriage itself no longer seemed so important. Al-Sayyid Ahmad asked breathlessly, "Do you suppose Zanuba knowshe's my son?"

"I don't doubt it, but I'm almost certain she hasn't revealed your secret to him. Otherwise she would have had more difficulty getting him to fall into her trap. She's succeeded so admirably in this that she deserves our congratulations."

But Ahmad Abd al-Jawad asked again in the same breathless voice, "Or do you think he kept it from me because he knew what had happened?"

"Of course not. I don't believe that. If he had known this in advance he would never have married her. No doubt he's a reckless young man, but he's not depraved. If he kept it a secret from you, it's because he couldn't get up the courage to tell you he'd married a woman entertainer. What a burden headstrong sons are to their fathers…. The truth is that it upsets me terribly, but I hope you won't allow yourself to get angry. It's his fault. You're not responsible for what he's done. No one can blame you."

Ahmad Abd al-Jawad sighed audibly. Then he instructed his friend, "Tell me what Ghunaym Hamidu said about this."

Muhammad Iffat waved his hand disdainfully and replied, "He asked if al-Sayyid Ahmad had agreed. I told him, 'The man knows nothing about it.' He expressed his regrets and said, 'See how big a gap there is between the father and his son. May God come to his aid.'"

In a mournful voice Ahmad commented, "Is this the result of the way I've raised them? I'm bewildered, Mr. Muhammad. The disaster is that we lose effective control of them just when they most require our guidance for their welfare. They're old enough to take responsibility for themselves, but they mishandle their affairs and we're not able to straighten them out. We're men, but our sons aren't. What do you suppose has caused this? The ox! Why did he have to marry a woman within reach of every hand? Let's weep for ourselves. There's no power or might save God's."

Muhammad Iffat placed his hand sympathetically on his friend's shoulder. "We've done our duty," he said. "Beyond that each person's responsible for himself. It's impossible for anyone to think you're to blame."

Then al-Hamzawi's sad voice spoke up: "No fair person would blame you for something like this, al-Sayyid, sir. Although it seems to me there's still hope for reform. Give him some advice, al-Sayyid, sir."

"He'll stand before you like an obedient child. He'll certainly divorce her tomorrow or the next day. The best good deed is a quick one."

Al-Sayyid Ahmad asked plaintively, "What if she's pregnant?"

Al-Hamzawi's anxious voice said, "May God not decree or allow that."

Muhammad Iffat seemed to have more to say. He looked at his friend apprehensively and then remarked, "It's really sad that he sold his store in al-Hamzawi to refurnish his apartment."

Ahmad stared at him. He frowned in disgust and yelled resentfully, "As if I didn't exist!.. He didn't even consult me about that."

Striking his hands together, he continued: "No doubt they robbed him blind. They came upon an easy prey… a mule without a groom, wearing a gentleman's clothes."

Muhammad Iffat said compassionately, "Childish behavior! He forgot his father and his son. But what's the use of getting angry?"

Ahmad Abd al-Jawad shouted, "It seems to me that regardless of the consequences I've got to deal with him firmly."

Muhammad Iffat stretched out his arms as though to ward off danger. Then he said imploringly, " 'When your son grows up, be a brother to him.' All that's required of you is some advice. Leave the rest to God and His decree". He lowered his eyes thoughtfully and seemed to hesitate for a few moments. Then he said, "There's something that concerns me as much at it does you … the question of our grandson Ridwan."

The two men exchanged a long look. Then Muhammad Iffat continued: "In a few months the boy will be seven. I'm afraid his father w ill ask for custody, and Ridwan will grow up in Zanuba's home. This evil must be averted. I don't imagine you'd agree to it either. So convince Yasin to leave the boy with us, until God straightens things out."

It was contrary to the nature of Ahmad Abd al-Jawad to agree voluntarily to allow his grandson to remain with the mother's family beyond the period established by law for her custody, but he also d id not wish to suggest that the boy become part of his own household, for fear of adding to Amina's burdens another one she could not be considered eager to assume, because of her age. So with sad resignation he answered, "I admit it wouldn't be right for Ridwan to be reared in Zanuba's home."

Sighing with relief, Muhammad Iffat said, "His grandmother loves him with all her heart. Even if unavoidable circumstances in the future forced him to be transferred to his mother's home, he would be in good hands, for his mother's married to a man in his forties or older, deprived by God of the blessing of offspring."

Ahmad Abd al-Jawad said hopefully, "But I'd prefer him to stay with you."

"Of course, of course. I was just speaking about remote possibilities, which I pray that God will never impose on us. Now all I have to say is to be gentle when you speak to Yasin so it'll be easier to convince him to leave Ridwan with me."

Then al-Hamzawi's conciliatory voice said, "Al-Sayyid Ahmad's. the wisest man I know. He realizes Yasin's a man who, like other men, is free to act as he pleases and to dispose of his possessions. Al-Sayyid Ahmad knows these things. He simply needs to advise his son. The rest is up to God."

Ahmad Abd al-Jawad gave over the remainder of the day to sorrowful reflection. He told himself, "In a word, Yasin's a loss as a son. There's nothing more miserable than having a son who's a disappointment. Unfortunately, the direction he's heading is only too clear. No particular insight's required to discern it. Yes, he'll go from bad to worse and need all the grace God grants him."

Jamil al-Hamzawi asked him to postpone his talk with Yasin until the next day. He yielded to this request, more from despair than because he valued the advice.

He summoned Yasin to meet him the following afternoon. As was appropriate for an obedient son, Yasin hastened to comply with his father's request. The truth was that Yasin had not severed relations with his family. The old house was the only place he had not had the courage to visit, even though he felt homesick for it. Every time he met his father, Khadija, or Aisha he would ask them to convey his greetings to his stepmother. If he had not forgotten her anger with him or what he termed her obstinacy, he also refused to overlook the old days when she was the only mother he knew. He had not stopped visiting his sisters. Occasionally he met Kamal in Ahmad Abduh's coffeehouse. He would also invite his younger brother to his home, where Kamal encountered Maryam first and then Zanuba. Yasin visited his father at his store at least once a week. This call allowed him to observe another side of his father's personality, the one al-Sayyid Ahmad used to captivate people. A solid friendship and a deep affection flourished between the two men, encouraged both by the ties of blood and by Yasin's joy at discovering his father.

Even so, when Yasin examined his father's face that afternoon, its expression reminded him of the old look, which had so frequently terrified him. He did not ask what was bothering his father, for he was sure he would discover the secret sooner or later. No doubt he was encountering the tempest he had expected ever since acting so rashly.

Before he could speak, his father said, "I'm sad to find myself so humiliated. Why should I have to learn my son's news from third parties?"

Yasin bowed his head but did not breathe a word. His father was outraged by this deceitful veneer of humility, shouting, "Take off that mask. Don't play the hypocrite. Let me hear your voice. You know what I'm talking about."

In a scarcely audible whisper Yasin said, "I couldn't get up the courage to tell you."

"This happens when someone tries to conceal an offense or a scandal."

Yasin knew instinctively that he should not attempt any form of resistance. So he said with resignation, "Yes…."

Aghast, al-Sayyid Ahmad asked, "If that's really what you think, then why did you do it?"

Yasin resorted to silence once more. His father imagined this failure to reply indicated: "I knew it was scandalous, but I gave in to love". He was reminded of his own disgraceful situation with the same woman.

"How shameful!" al-Sayyid Ahmad told himself. "You washed away your humiliation with an outburst of anger, but then you started pursuing her again…. And what a loss this ox is!"

"You embraced a scandal without any consideration of the consequences, which you let all the rest of us suffer."

Yasin cried out ingenuously, "All of you? God forbid."

Furious again, al-Sayyid Ahmad shouted, "Don't pretend to be stupid! Don't claim you're innocent. When you're trying to satisfy your lusts, you pay no attention to the damage you're doing to your father's reputation or that of your brother and sisters. You've forced a lute player on the family. She'll be one of us along with her children. I don't imagine I'm telling you anything new. But you ignore everything for the sake of lust. You've disgraced the family's honor. You yourself are collapsing stone by stone. In the end you'll find you're nothing but a ruin."

Yasin lowered his eyes and was silent for so long that his guilt and submission were obvious.

"This scandal will only cost you a certain amount of theatrics, so far as I can see," al-Sayyid Ahmad fumed to himself. "That's all it means to you, but tomorrow I'll be blessed with a grandson who has Zanuba for a mother and Zubayda as his great-aunt… a unique relationship linking the well-known merchant al-Sayyid Ahmad to Zubayda the notorious singer. Perhaps we're atoning for sins we're not even conscious of."

"I tremble when I think of your future. I told you that you're falling apart. Your collapse will become more and more evident. Tell me what you did with the store in al-Hamzawi?"

Yasin raised his melancholy eyes and hesitated momentarily. Then he said, "I was in urgent need of money". Looking down, he continued: "Had the circumstances been different, I would have borrowed what I needed from you, sir, but it was an embarrassing situation…."

Al-Sayyid Ahmad replied furiously, "What a hypocrite you are! Aren't you ashamed of yourself? I bet you didn't see anything odd or reprehensible in what you did. I know you and understand you. So don't try to deceive me. I just have one thing to say to you, even though I know in advance it's pointless: You're ruining yourself, and your fate will be grim."

Yasin was silent once more and pretended to be distressed.

"The ox!" his father thought. "She's an attractive devil, but what forced you to marry her? I imagined she asked me to marry her because of my age. But she trapped this bull, even though he's young". He felt some relief and consolation at that. "Her premeditated plan was to get married at any cost, but she preferred another man. And this fool fell for it."

"Divorce her! Divorce her before she becomes a mother and we're disgraced for generations to come."

After hesitating for some time, Yasin mumbled, "It would be wrong for me to divorce her without any cause."

"You son of a bitch!" he exclaimed to himself. "You've presented me with an exquisite anecdote for tonight's party."

"You'll divorce her sooner or later. Do it before she bears a child, who'll be a problem for you and the rest of us."

Yasin sighed audibly, allowing that to serve as his response. His father began to examine him rather anxiously. Fahmy was dead. Kamal was an idiot or insane. Yasin was hopeless. "The sad thing is that he's the dearest to me of them all. Leave the matter to God. O Lord! What would have happened if my foot had slipped and I'd married her?"

"How much did you get for the shop?"

"Two hundred pounds."

"It was worth three hundred. It was an excellent location, ignoramus. Who bought it?"

"Ali Tulun… he sells sundries."

"Great! Congratulations! Was the whole sum squandered on the new furnishings?"

"I still have a hundred."

"You've done well," he said sarcastically. "So the bridegroom's not short of cash". Then he continued in a serious and mournful tone: "Yasin, listen to me. I'm your father. Watch out. Reform your conduct. You're a father yourself. Don't you think of your son and his future?"

Yasin protested vehemently, "The monthly support payment gets to mm down to the last millieme."

"Is it just a matter of money? I'm talking about his future … and about die future of other children still unborn."

"Our Lord creates and provides sustenance," Yasin said with calm assurance.

His lather yelled disapprovingly, "Our Lord creates and you fritter away your sustenance. Tell me. …" He sat up straight and then, focusing his eyes forcefully on his son, commented, "Rid-wan's almost seven. What are you going to do with him? Are you going to take him and have him grow up under your wife's supervision?"

Yasin's plump face looked uneasy. He asked in turn, "What should I do, then? I haven't thought about it."

The man shook his head sadly and ironically. He said, "May God preserve you from the evil of thinking. Do you have any time to waste on it? Let me think for you. Allow me to tell you that Ridwan must stay in the custody of his maternal grandfather."

Yasin reflected for a moment. Then he expressed his agreement by lowering his head. He said obediently, "Whatever you think best, Father. No doubt that's in his best interest."

His lather replied sarcastically, "It seems to be in your best interest too. That'll save you from troubling yourself with such trivial matters."

Yasir/s only comment was a smile that implied: "I'm sure you're teasing me, but that's all right."

"I thought it would be hard to convince you to surrender custody."

"It's the confidence I place in your opinion that made it so easy to convince me."

With ironic astonishment al-Sayyid Ahmad asked, "Do you really place so much confidence in my opinion? Why don't you oact on it in other matters?" Sighing sadly, he continued: "What's the point? … May our Lord guide you. The guilt's all yours. I'll speak to Muhammad Iffat tonight about retaining custody of Ridwan, with the understanding that you'll bear all the boy's expenses. Perhapshe'll agree."

Yasin rose then, said goodbye to his father, and headed for the shop door. He had only taken two steps when he heard his father's voice ask, "Don't you love your son like any other father?"

Stopping to look back, Yasin said reproachfully, "Is there any doubt of that, Father? He's the dearest thing in my life."

Al-Sayyid Ahmad raised his eyebrows. Shaking his head cryptically, he said, "Goodbye."