Pitifully Ugly

Chapter 11

Honesty sucks.

As I waited for Marci on Friday, I prayed that we wouldn’t

run into Hailey. I’d waited at the courtyard gate, nervously

looking back at the door, hoping for the first time that Hailey

didn’t appear. I looked up at her window. The room was dark, but

I had a feeling I was being watched.

I’d picked up the phone a dozen times to cancel the date but

changed my mind. Maybe Kalen was right. I spent too much time

crushing on Hailey that I couldn’t allow myself to be interested in

anyone else. But there was a part of me that wished Hailey would

burst through the door and beg me not to go.

Marci had made reservations for Ralph’s On The Park. Kalen

had been there and told me about it. I’d always wanted to go, but

I couldn’t get excited about it now. I knew the minute I got into

Marci’s car and looked into her eyes how the evening would end,

and I felt like a first-class cad.

“This must be the hotspot of New Orleans,” I said, looking

around at the crowd.

Marci nodded enthusiastically. “I’ve been here a couple of

times, and the food is fantastic. Why don’t you order the tuna two

ways and I’ll order the disgruntled shrimp? We can share.”

I’d hardly opened my menu, and she was already picking out

dinner for us. It grated my nerves. If Kalen, or I dare say even

Hailey, had suggested it, I wouldn’t have batted an eye, nor would

Robin Alexander

I have hesitated to say that I hated tuna regardless of how it’s

served. But there I sat nodding like an idiot because I felt guilty

for being there in the first place.

I listened as Marci ordered a bottle of white wine when the

waiter asked us what we’d have to drink. The wine she chose was

the perfect complement to seafood, but I didn’t care for it. Of

course, it’s considered by some to be unsophisticated to drink an

inappropriate wine with dinner, but I never cared for convention

and always chose red over white regardless of the meal. I’m sure

there are women out there who like for someone to take charge

when it came to ordering, but I wasn’t one of them.

I blinked a few times when Marci interrupted my internal

bitch session. “You look lovely tonight.” I was about to return the

compliment when she tilted her head to the side and said, “Have

you ever considered wearing your hair shorter?”

“I…um…no. I don’t care for short hair…on me.”

“I just asked because I think it would make your face look

fuller and,” she smiled, “you have beautiful eyes, and I think

they’d stand out even more.”

“Thank you,” I said as the waiter arrived and opened the

wine. For a fleeting second, I had a vision of sitting around in

my underwear waiting for Marci to dress me. I knew I was being

unfair and looking for anything to cling to that would make it

easier for me to pull away.

“How was your week?” I asked when we were alone again.

“Very busy, which was especially difficult because I was

distracted.”

“How so?”

“I was nervous about tonight,” Marci admitted with a shy

smile.

“Me too,” but for different reasons, I was sure.

Marci smiled and toyed with the stem of her glass. “That

makes me feel better.”

“What is it you do? I neglected to ask the night we met.”

“I’m a veterinarian. Cats are my specialty.”

“Do you have a cat?” I had flashbacks of the cat that didn’t

approve of me.

0

Pitifully Ugly

“Two, one has three legs, his name is Tripod, and the other is

missing an eye. I tend to take in the ones that have already gone

through eight of their lives.”

“What’s the name of the one missing the eye?” I asked before

taking a sip of wine.

“Spike. He’s really tough.”

“Tough, huh?” I remembered my ankle mauling and agreed.

I thought cats in general were tough.

“Do you have any pets?”

I shook my head. “Although I am getting to know my

neighbor’s dog. She allows me to play ball with her, the dog, I

mean.”

Marci laughed. “I was going to ask the neighbor or the dog.”

I laughed along with her, but on the inside, my brain was

chastising me for bringing up Hailey, but still I went on. “We

played tennis the other day, and the dog got jealous, so I had to

play an extra-long game of catch with her.”

“I didn’t know you played tennis,” Marci said. “I love to play.

Maybe we could try it sometime.”

“I really don’t play all that well, I’m just learning. So how do

you handle working with animals you obviously love? I imagine it

can be heartbreaking at times,” I said, anxious to change the subject.

“I try to disassociate myself and do what I’m trained to do.

Sometimes I manage just fine, then there are other times that it

really gets to me. I’ve learned to look at it like a mechanic does

when they’re working on a car. If something isn’t functioning

correctly, I try to find out why and correct it.”

I watched Marci as she talked about tending to sick and

wounded animals. Her compassion was obvious. She was kind

with a generous heart. I should’ve felt like the luckiest girl in the

world, and I despised myself for not being able to.

After dinner, we walked to Marci’s car. I thought she was

about to open the door for me, but she turned suddenly and leaned

against it, pulling me into her arms. “It’s a beautiful night, and

it’s still early. Would you like to go dancing? Besides, I feel like

I should at least buy you a drink since you insisted on paying for

dinner.”

1

Robin Alexander

She had me around the waist and was holding me tightly

against her. It felt wrong. I fought a wave of claustrophobia as

I put my hands on the side of her car. She looked at me oddly,

clearly expecting me to give into the embrace. “You seem kind of

distant,” she said as she released me.

I winced. The doorway to honesty was wide open, and I owed

it to her to take that step. “I’m having a bit of a problem. I find

myself torn, and I’m not sure what to do.”

I took a step back as Marci narrowed her eyes and looked at

me. “My neighbor, the one I mentioned earlier…I find myself

attracted…to her.”

Marci inhaled deeply as her arms dropped to her sides.

“I don’t want to end up hurting you, but I have to be honest

and tell you that I’m really conflicted right now.”

“Thank you for telling me the truth,” she said. “I’ve been

there before, I know how if feels.”

“You’re a wonderful person, and if I’d met you sooner, I don’t

think I’d be where I am emotionally right now.”

“That’s sweet of you to say,” Marci said somberly. I felt ill.

She surprised me by reaching over and taking my hand. “I’d

really like to get to know you better, but I think it wouldn’t be fair

to either of us to continue like this. I think you should concentrate

on sorting your feelings. If things don’t work out, give me a call,

and if I’m available, I would love to try again.”

All I had to offer was friendship—just like Hailey had offered

me. It sucked to be on either end of that offer.

We ended the night with a hug. I apologized so many times

that I think Marci wanted to tell me to shut the hell up. I walked

through the gate of the courtyard alone. Hailey’s window was still

dark, but I felt her there watching me.

2

Pitifully Ugly