Pitifully Ugly

Prologue

“Don’t you dare, Shannon. Those online dating sites are

a hotbed of people looking to cheat on their mates, or worse,

monsters masquerading as princess charmings. Just do it the old-

fashioned way—charm some cutie into a date and see where it

goes.”

Kalen, my older sister, accentuated every point by stabbing

her fork in my direction. As usual, I sat silent and listened to her

well-intentioned advice until she stopped long enough to take the

last bite of her dinner.

“You’re missing the point,” I said. “I have no game, no

charm.”

“You have to practice.” Kalen’s eyes sparkled with excitement.

“Practice on the waiter when he comes back.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“He’s a man.”

“I didn’t say seduce him and take him home. It’s simple. Just

smile and maybe compliment him. Oh! Say something about his

eyes.” Kalen looked around for the unsuspecting guinea pig.

“Show me how it’s done.”

Kalen rolled her eyes. She’d demonstrated the Brycen

charming skills that I was sorely lacking countless times. Our

victim was approaching too quickly for her to argue. I watched as

she smiled up at him and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

He was putty in her hands, and she hadn’t spoken a word. Flirting

was second nature to Kalen, and if she were single, she’d never

lack for companionship.

1

Robin Alexander

I’ve often thought it a cruel cosmic joke that I was passed

over for the charismatic gene that my parents and sister shared.

If Kalen and I didn’t look so much alike, I would have gone in

search of my real father, an introverted milkman who my mother

had her way with.

“See how easy that was?” Kalen said triumphantly. “He’s

giving us a slice of pie on the house. We’re going to have to leave

before he asks for my number because I might just give it to

him.”“Better hope that my brother-in-law doesn’t answer when he

calls.”

Kalen raised an eyebrow. “When he comes back, you give it

a whirl.”

I opened my mouth to balk as I’ve always done, but then I

wondered, why not? The food wasn’t that great. We probably

wouldn’t revisit this place. What did I have to lose? I watched as

the waiter weaved between tables, coming closer with each step.

My hands tightened into fists as I tucked them under my legs.

That was the closest I was going to get to being poised.

All was going well until I heard my brain screaming out to the

rest of my body. Oh, my God! She’s going to speak. Who told her

this was a good idea? My stomach began to growl its protest, and

it kind of sounded like Scotty from Star Trek. She’s breaking up,

Captain. I can’t hold her much longer. My brain began barking

out orders, but my body was too stunned to comply. Legs, what

are you waiting for? Get moving! Can we have a coughing fit, a

sneeze, anything? All fell silent as a slice of pie and two cups of

coffee were set on the table.

I glanced over at Kalen, who wore the expectant but fearful

smile of a mother watching her baby take the first ride without

training wheels. The waiter was smiling down at me, and it was

show time.

“I…you…well…I like your shirt.” The last part of my pathetic

attempt came out sounding like a balloon being deflated. He

blinked for a moment, then looked down at the black polo with

the restaurant’s name emblazoned on the breast pocket. With no

more than an awkward smile and a nod, he left me to my misery.

2

Pitifully Ugly

I couldn’t look at Kalen. She cleared her throat and went

on talking as though nothing gruesomely embarrassing had

happened.

“You know…there’s a new customer that’s been coming to

the Rampart store. I think she may be single.”

Pitifully Ugly