Pleasures and follies

Chapter Fourteen

We supped. Bubs were no longer dangling, gleaming, swinging pendant in full view. The conversation was decent.

" They say, Monsieur," Minonne began, addressing me, " They say you' ve had a least eight pretty wives, and they mention their names."

" Ah," Conquette interrupted. " Don' t get him started telling more of those stories. The day' s sport is over and we ought now to behave properly, like ordinary people do."

" You' ll have to save it then," Trait- d' Amour put in, " for some interlude in our future games."

As we were all preparing to disband and, as there was no further danger of a libidinous tolly- polly, I was asked to recommend to the company that our six cunts and twelve bubs be brought into sight and kissed indiscriminately in token of our separation for the week. I thought this a good proposal. Immediately, Conquette, Tendrelys, RoseMauve, Minonne, Connette and Madame Brideconin relieved themselves of their kerchiefs, bared their bottoms, betook themselves to the fucking furniture. Their cunts were prodigiously licked. The five gentlemen present sucked their nipples; the ladies grasped, uncapped and kissed the five pricks. Mine however, was mouthed out of kindness: " Farewell for a week, adorable prick!" was the valediction it received six times over.

We were about to leave when Vitnegre' s lovely wife was seen to sink to her knees, her bubs flying. She raised her eyes heavenward and spoke: " Holy and pretty Virgin Mary, whom the angel frigged, cunttongued and tit- fondled in the bed that was Joseph' s, the cornute dupe of much blessed frolicking, from which fuckery resulted the gentle Jesus, that Good Fucker who stuffed the beauteous and public whore Magdalen, Marquess of Bethany, of whom the vagabond Jesus was, furthermore, the keeper and sometimes the pimp, who, to the infinite chagrin of the blessed Slut also embuggered His fairy companion, Saint John. Blessed and pretty Mary, virgin as am I, we thank you for this happy day of fuckery. By the merits of your Son and in His name, grant us another like it next Sunday. And you, holy Magdalen, who was fucked by the grave prayer- speaking Jesus and by John the Embuggered as well, grant me my prayer, which is that I be enabled to fuck as often as you did, cuntwise or asswards, fifteen, yea, twenty times an hour, and all that without being wearied therefrom or sate. You fucked with the Pharisees, with Herod, and even with Pilate so as to have the wherewithal to feed the hungry rake Jesus, your lounge- lizard and the shiftless wastrels who collaborated with Him on His enterprises, Oh, beseech your pimp Jesus – who, being God, has doubtless much power – to grant that I someday have between the hairs of my cunt that rich swaggerer whom I once saw get out of his carriage with an erection begot by the sight of me as I was returning home from the house of my friend, Madame Congrele. For, with the money I earn with my cunt, my ass, my bubs, my tongue, and lips, I shall be able to relieve my worthy father in his old age. Not only would I fuck with him and give him pleasure thereby, but I would sell myself as did the pious daughter of Eresichthon the fanatic, or the devout Ocyrhoe, daughter of the centaur Chiron, who both became mares, that is to say, the steeds of male riders, and whores. Model of a man, most excellent pimp, gentle Jesus, passionate fucker, complaisant street- companion of the burning, the oftfucking, and the exemplary whore Magdalen, who was so in love with Your divine prick and Your blessed balls, by Your omnipotence preserve my cunt' s narrowness and satin quality, keep my bubs firm and round, allow not to desert me the fairness of my skin, my ass, my buttocks, my arms, my hands, my cunt, my shoulders. Maintain forever the rigid stiffness of my lovers' s pricks and above all my father' s. Maintain their balls full always of fuck, for you know the art and have the skill to do so, having inherited them from the blessed King David, beloved of the Lord and His favorite because that sovereign was the Number One Fucker of his age. Oh, Jesus, grant that my high heels, which lend me such grace when I walk and cause so many men' s pricks to harden, grant that they never give me blisters or put corns on my toes, but that these tempting and fuck- inspiring feet remain as now they are for many a long year."

" Amen!" murmured the entire assembly, pricks straining and cunts moist with emotion.

Everyone left edified by my daughter' s extraordinary piety. As they filed thoughtfully out, they said: " That' s indeed what one may justly call having religion, the true religion of Nature; and that' s the proper way to address the divinity. One ought always ask Him for reasonable things. Oh, indeed, she' s an unusual girl!"

Two days later, when I went to see Conquette (I had stayed away from her on Monday), I found her, although fully dressed, blinking sleepily which, what, for her large eyes and long lashes, made her appear especially charming. She was wearing a pair of new silk slippers she had put on for the first time.

I sank to my knees before her. " Conquette," I said to her, " no living mortal has prettier feet – they are a shade large, and the pointed toes of your slippers and their very high heels make them look half their actual size. How divine they are! My prick is mightily hard, as you observe."

" Dearest Papa, knowing how much you adore me, I wanted to consecrate these shoes before presenting them to you as ornaments to go on your mantelpiece. Here are the white ones I had on the other day, in which I was so often – so much and so well – you know what."

" What, my dear? Say it."

" Fucked, Papa, FUCKED!"

" Quite. Excellent. And those shoes?"

" Do you see the pretty shape my feet have given them? They are far more voluptuous now that they have been worn."

Avidly, I inhaled the scent that the interior of those slippers distilled. " Oh, but my prick is a veritable pillar!" I cried. " Your blessed buggering shoes have an odor of paradise! I' m lost, I' m damned. I' ll have the worst aches and pains in my balls if I don' t shove it into your cunt one little time; are you going to let this paternal prick eject its seed upon the floor? No, I hope not."

" Put your ass and your balls in this big flat bowl like a good loving papa. I had the water fetched up. It is nice and cool and will relax that poor darling prick of yours. That' s what I do when my cunt is afire."

This all seemed like good common sense and I followed her recommendation. She hid her feet from my sight. That too was prudent for her. I felt much calmer.

" I had to cool myself a short while ago. Trait- d' Amour paid me a call; I was still in bed when he arrived. He laid hands on my cunt and my bubbies. Just to see his prick standing up on his hind legs made an impression upon me, but in my heart, do you know, I felt nothing. He said he wanted to cunt- tongue me and to have me frig him afterwards. I' m not a whore you know-"

" You are chilly, it seems to me-"

" That' s because I have ceased to love… in a sense. You are my lover, dear Father, and your lieutenant Trait- d' Amour also has definite rights to my cunt: he' s your prick' s double, its alter ago, and when it buries itself in me it' s you all the time who is fucking me. Anyhow, I felt a little sorry about my harshness with him. So I took his prick in my hand and he put it in my mouth, the foreskin pulled all the way back. I made him discharge and swallowed his fuck, which tasted marvelous, I must admit, after my morning chocolate. It was like a heavenly mouthwash. But, as I was saying, if you would like to give your cherished daughter an unspeakable pleasure, kiss her, put your tongue in her mouth, and she' ll put hers in yours. She' ll tickle your balls and squeeze your prick in her fist and she' ll discharge like a goddess."

" Oh, you are too wonderful for words! An end to them. Let' s fuck like intelligent human beings. Just a little bit."

" My cunt was cool as moment ago, but now you' ve gone and set it afire again. Only fuck will extinguish the blaze, I' m afraid. Therefore, dearest Papa, let' s fuck away! Encunt your devoted daughter! But proceed softly so that I discharge several times. And I' ve something to tell you while we fuck."

She leapt upon me, thrust my member into her cunt and advanced it gradually, by almost imperceptible little nudges of her ass. The water' s coolness had checked my impetuousness and retarded my ejaculation now. Her movements grew more energetic and she began to moan, crying at last, " I' m coming, oh, sweet Jesus, I' m melting!" Then she lay still for a minute or two. " I forgot to give you the address of that man we saw in the street the other day. He handed me a slip of paper, on it was written a request that I come and see him for a- a- a fuck, oh FUCK! Drive it in, drive it, Father. Drive it all the way in, I' m discharging all over again. I' m coming… ah, heavenly Father!" and she leapt and danced and twittered and chirruped as never did a fuckeress before her leap, dance, twitter, and chirrup. After a copious discharge, she resumed what she had been saying, " Yes, that man in the street, his message. It' s here, on the bedside table. Tell him, or write to him, that I never go abroad, and enclose our address."

" Aye, it shall be done, Fututrix!" I replied. Madame Brideconin brought us cups of chocolate and I left so as to attend to the business. I went straight to the lodgings of him who was so eager to be my daughter' s lover and next fucker. I found him at home, transmitted a note Conquette Ingenue had written, in which she said that, if he had any reply to make, he give it directly to her father. I was warmly received. The gentleman was well- to- do. He said he was searching for a mistress who knew how to please in bed.

" My good Sir," I made him prompt answer, " your quest is at an end. My daughter has been married. She may be yours upon condition she keep her present residence, which neighbors mine. You shall eat there with her if you like and sleep there too – I shan' t be bothered in the slightest by whatever you choose to do. As for voluptuousness and ability to move the ass and flanks, a libertine husband saw to it she had the most arduous and thorough novitiate in this vocation. But in surrendering her to you I wish to be certain her fate will be a happy one and that her practical circumstances will improve a little each year. If you will guarantee her welfare, I shall take upon myself full responsibility for her fidelity. She is prudent, sensible, and wellbehaved; the certitude of a future independent of her monstrous husband is the sine qua non of her consent to your proposals."

The gentleman found these conditions highly acceptable and the definitive decision was put off until after a business trip whence he expected to come back in a week or ten days. I returned to Conquette with this news.

" Papa," said she, " however much or little he fucks me, you will always be there, won' t you, to take your daughter in your arms and perchance put your prick in her cunt? You and he shall be my two fathers. I' ll even renounce your extraordinary former secretary if you promise to encunt no one but me. Where will you find a cunt better adapted to your requirements? Hold your fuck strictly in reserve for me, as you shall your heart, Oh, most lecherous of fathers!" It was plain she was jealous. I encunted her straightway. But I was too much of a libertine to confine myself to the exclusive fuckery of the woman I loved most.

Madame Brideconin brought us some cool lemonade. She was lame, had been born that way, but she limped in a seductive manner. She had arranged her hair in a new fashion. Though pockmarked, she was exceedingly provocative. I said so to my daughter.

" Even before our parties began," Conquette told me, " her husband was eager to stuff me, but I found him displeasing. Since last Sunday, his wife has approached me twice and asked to suck my cunt. They both adore me, but I haven' t let them do anything serious – nothing but kiss my feet. He fucks her whenever I tell him to. I watch. It' s a little pastime I indulge in while waiting for Sunday to come. All I need to do is sit down in front of Brideconin with my skirts raised ever so little. That' s enough to get him started. He grows so excited when he sees my ankle and then my lower leg that he hops abroad the whore. He keeps it up as long as I like. I give a tug at my skirt and he sets in anew. If he catches a glimpse of thigh, it' s pandemonium: he begins to roar with lust. One day, when the weather was especially warm, I decided to give my cunt some air and raised my skirts all the way. That fucker saw the view and brayed like a mule and nearly split the landlady in two. He exploded fuck all over the room, continued to rummage in her cunt and was like to kill himself with overwork when his wife glanced at me. She finished her discharge and came over and pulled my skirt back down. Brideconin was terribly weary and didn' t feel at all well, as a matter of fact."

Conquette' s little story stiffened me, but I thrust my prick in cool water again. When my desires had subsided, I dried my engine, buttoned my breeches, and left.

We restrained ourselves throughout the remainder of the week.