The Mysteries of Max: Books 25-27

Chapter 36

“I don’t trust that guy,” said Clarice the moment Dudley and Tex were out of sight.

But since moments later Tex went down again and everyone convened in the kitchen to try and revive him, I momentarily forgot about her words.

Tex turned out to be all right, though, and when five minutes later he came to, he said he’d clumsily got tangled up in his own feet and hit his head against the kitchen table.

Against Tex’s protestations Marge called a doctor, just to make sure he was all right and no permanent damage had been done, and by the time we all returned next door, Tex lay tucked into bed, sleeping the sleep of the dead—though hopefully not too dead!

“He’s a bad one, that,” said Clarice once we were all installed on the couch, with Odelia moving around in the kitchen preparing dinner.

“Who are you talking about, Clarice?” asked Harriet.

“That Dudley, of course. Who else? I can see it in his eyes. He’s up to no good.”

“He seems like a great kid,” I said.

“He’s very nice,” Harriet chimed in. “Last night he even gave me some of that special pâté Marge likes to keep for special occasions.”

“And he cleaned out our litter boxes and put some extra litter inside—the nice-smelling kind,” said Brutus.

“He gave me a boost when I had trouble jumping on top of the couch,” said Dooley.

“I don’t care if he’s the perfect boy scout,” said Clarice. “I’m telling you now that he’s bad news. Also, I’m pretty sure he tripped up Tex just now, causing him to hit his head.”

“He did? I didn’t see that,” I said.

“That’s because your eyes aren’t as sharp as mine,” said Clarice, making me bristle a little.

“My eyes are perfectly fine,” I said.

“Your eyes may be fine, but Dudley’s got you all bamboozled. And now you only see what he wants you to see. And that goes for the entire Poole family.”

We let those words sink in for a moment, and just then Dudley walked in and said, “Need a hand, sis?”

He got a radiant smile in return from Odelia.

“No, that’s all right, Dudley,” she said. “Chase will be here any minute. It’s his turn to cook tonight. I’m just making sure we’ve got all the ingredients for spaghetti.”

“Chase only cooks spaghetti?” asked Dudley with a laugh.

Odelia made a comical face. “Don’t laugh. It’s his specialty.”

“I like spaghetti. So if what you’re saying is true, Chase is just my kind of guy.”

“Won’t you stay for dinner?”

“You don’t mind?”

“No, of course not.”

“Then sure,” said Dudley, and took a seat at the kitchen counter.

And as he and his sister continued to shoot the breeze, I saw Clarice study him all the while, never taking her eyes off him. And when Dudley glanced in her direction once or twice, her eyes narrowed, and her upper lip pulled back in a snarl. If Dudley was worried about this obvious display of enmity, he didn’t show it.

Until suddenly he got up and walked over to Clarice. “So this one isn’t yours?” he asked.

“No, Clarice doesn’t belong to anyone,” said Odelia. “But she drops by from time to time, so you might say I’ve half-adopted her.”

“She’s not very clean, is she?” he said, inspecting our friend more closely.

“That’s what living on the street will do.”

“Are you sure it’s safe for your own cats? I mean, she’s bound to be teeming with all kinds of parasites and other vermin. Fleas and lice and who knows what else.”

“I hadn’t thought about that,” said Odelia, considering Clarice for a moment.

“Fleas and lice have a tendency to jump from one carrier to the next, sis. It only takes them a fraction of a second to contaminate Max and the others, not to mention your home. Do you really want to wake up tomorrow morning with your head full of lice?”

“Pet fleas or lice don’t jump over to humans,” said Odelia, but I could see that Dudley’s comments had given her pause.

“If I were you I’d get rid of her,” he said now, then shrugged. “Just my opinion. You do what you want, of course. Your cats, your decision.”

Chase arrived home, then, and as the trio ate their dinner, I could see that this time it was Odelia who kept darting anxious glances at Clarice from time to time, no doubt wondering about all those fleas and lice and other parasites jumping all over her couches now, and all over her four cats.

“You have to watch out for this guy,” Clarice repeated at a certain point.

“But why do you say that?” asked Harriet. “He looks perfectly nice to me.”

“Because he reminds of my own human, that’s why,” said Clarice. “He has the exact same look in his eyes. And my own human was a sweetheart, or at least I thought he was, until one day he drove me into the woods, tied me to a tree, and left me to die.”

“How did you escape, Clarice?” asked Dooley, interested, even though he’d heard the story many times before. “Is it true you had to gnaw off your own paw to get away?”

Clarice held up two perfectly fine paws. “No, Dooley. I don’t know who invented that story, but that’s definitely not what happened. Who’d want to gnaw off their own paw?”

“Oh,” said Dooley, looking slightly disappointed.

“No, a kind-hearted couple happened to pass by the spot where my human left me, and rescued me. I would have stayed with them, but by then I was frankly over humans, so I ate my fill, said thank you very much, and I’ve been on my own ever since.”

“Good for you,” said Brutus with a nod.

Rambo, who’d been fast asleep, now woke up and yawned, causing a very foul smell to waft in our direction.

“What did I miss?” he asked.

“Clarice was just telling us how her human abandoned her and tied her to a tree,” said Dooley excitedly. “But then a couple of very kind humans came by and saved her from certain death! Isn’t that the most beautiful story you’ve ever heard, Rambo? I think I like it even better than the one about you gnawing off your own paw, Clarice.”

“Oh, brother,” Clarice muttered.

“I was once tied to a tree,” said Rambo. “So I yanked that sucker out of the ground and ran off with it.”

“You yanked a whole tree out of the ground?” asked Harriet.

“Yes, ma’am. Big tree, too. Just gave it a yank and that was it for Mr. Tree. Game over.”

“I don’t believe this,” said Clarice, shaking her head.

“Well, you better believe it, cause that’s what happened. And now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll have a bite to eat. I’m starting to feel faint. Hunger has that effect on me.”

And he waddled off, leaving a trail of goo on Odelia’s nice hardwood floor. It glistened.