The Mysteries of Max: Books 25-27

Chapter 35

Jerry Vale was brooding again. Even though he’d sworn not to stage another escape attempt after the previous one had so gloriously backfired, he couldn’t help the way his brain worked. And his brain wanted freedom, and so did the rest of him. And he’d just had another brainwave and was about to convey his latest scheme to his partner in crime, when the cop in charge of keeping sure the prisoners were safely ensconced inside their cells at all times came ambling up in his customary good-natured way, and announced that Jerry had a visitor.

“A visitor!” Jerry cried, springing up from his perch.

“Yeah, I was as surprised as you are,” said the cop. “And a good-looking dame, too. Your sister, I presume?”

“I don’t have a sister, you moron,” he said, causing the sunny demeanor of the cop to lessen to a certain degree. Clearly the man hadn’t forgotten being beaned over the head.

“Less of that, Vale. Now do you want to see your visitor or not? If you do, I suggest you behave.” And he raised a menacing eyebrow to emphasize his words.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll behave,” said Jerry, craning his neck to see past the cop and catch a glimpse of this surprise visitor.

“Do you have a visitor, Jer?” asked Johnny from his own bunk.

“Yeah, looks like,” said Jerry.

“Who is it?” asked the gentle giant.

“How should I know? That idiot cop thinks it’s my sister.”

“But you don’t have a sister, Jer.”

“Oh? Is that a fact? Gee, I didn’t know. Of course I don’t have a sister, you numnuts!”

“Still the charmer, I see?” suddenly a woman’s voice spoke from the other side of the metal bars.

“Marlene!” Jerry cried out, as surprised as he was pleased to see his better half suddenly move into view. “What are you doing here?”

“That’s what I keep asking myself, but here I am.” Marlene, a handsome woman, slim and exceedingly tan with plenty of makeup and short blond hair, narrowed her eyes at her former husband. “You lost weight, Jer.”

“Prison life doesn’t become me,” he said ruefully.

“Is it true you spent a couple of weeks in Mexico before they shipped your ass back to the States?”

“We were in Tulum, Marlene,” said Johnny, smiling his goofy smile.

“Hi, Johnny. Living la vida loca, huh?”

“I don’t know about lavi loco but we spent a lot of time on the beach, sipping cocktails and looking at the ladies. Pretty ladies they got down there, isn’t that right, Jer?”

“Shut up, Johnny.”

“Pretty ladies, huh? So all that talk about missing me and wanting to get back together was just talk, is that it?”

“No, it wasn’t,” said Jerry. He directed a pleading look at his ex-wife. “I miss you, sweetie. When are you going to forgive me?”

“How about never?” she suggested tartly.

“There was one Mexican lady who kept pouring us tequila, isn’t that right, Jer? I think she took a shine to you.”

“Shut. Up,” said Jerry through gritted teeth.

“Look, I didn’t come here to listen to your travel itinerary,” said Marlene. “I heard that you stole a Picasso and a ton of gold. Is that true?”

“No, it’s not,” said Jerry. “We’re innocent, Marlene—you gotta believe me.”

She frowned. “No gold?”

“No gold.”

She chewed on that for a moment. “Jewelry?” she suggested.

“No jewelry.”

“Diamonds? Necklaces? Furs? Anything?”

“Look, this time we’re actually innocent,” said Jerry. “Isn’t that right, Johnny?”

“Yeah, we found religion,” said Johnny, folding his hands like the elders at Kingdom Hall had taught him. “We’re reformed now, Marlene. The life of crime is behind us.”

“Too bad,” said Marlene. “When I read about that gold, I figured…” She made an airy gesture. “Eh, it doesn’t matter. It was nice to see you again, Jer. Take care of yourself.”

“You’re not going already, are you?” asked Jerry, much perturbed. “You just got here!”

“And now I’m going. See you, Johnny. Bye bye, Jer.”

And with these words, she effectively stalked off, her high heels tapping on the polished concrete floor, the sound growing fainter as she went.

Jerry yelled after her, “So when are we getting back together?”

“Never!” her voice echoed. Then a door slammed and she was gone.

Jerry sank down onto his bunk again, more distraught than ever.

“I think she was disappointed we didn’t steal no gold, Jer,” said Johnny.

“You know, Johnny? I’m starting to wish that we had stolen that gold.”

“But we can’t, Jer. We’re on the straight and narrow now. We’re reformed.”

“I gotta accept that my marriage is over,” said Jerry sadly.

“I thought it was over last year?”

“Oh, shut up, will you? I need to think.”

And soon he was deep in thought again. It stood to reason that the only way to convince Marlene to give their marriage another shot was to wear her down. Talk to her like he’d never talked before. But how could he do that when he was locked up?

So he had to get out and he had to get out pronto.

And this time he was going to come up with a plan that was foolproof.