The Mysteries of Max: Books 25-27

Chapter 26

Odelia pushed up her push-up bra and checked her assets. She’d stuffed the bra with a pair of panties to fill it out, as her natural bust was a modest one.

“You look great, babe,” said Chase, who looked more like a Russian mobster now than the honest cop that he was.

“You think so?” she asked a little uncertainly.

“Absolutely,” he assured her.

They were waiting in the lobby of the Garibo building, where their arrival had been announced ten minutes before. Four cats sat at their feet, all of them dressed to the nines, and clearly a little ill at ease. There had been some kind of fight between the cats, and now Max and Dooley weren’t talking to Harriet and Brutus. The exact details of the rift escaped her but it had something to do with Max’s hairless new look.

“So I’ll do the talking, all right?” said Chase. He sat a little straighter on the plastic bench that was molded in the shape of one of Garibo’s typical colorful candies.

“Yes, Sergei,” said Odelia, adopting the Russian accent she’d been practicing. “You do ze talking and I do ze looking sexy.”

“Exactly,” said Chase with a slight grin. He fingered his stick-on beard. “I hope this thing stays glued on. If it starts to fall off please tell me.”

“Oh, I vill tell you, Sergei, darlink,” said Odelia, laying the accent on thick now. “When can ve go back to ze yacht?” she asked in a slightly whiny voice. “I vant to go yachting and spend time in Saint-Tropez vid my many super-rich girlfriends and zeir hunky huzbands.”

“Ve vill go yachting soon, my pet,” Chase assured her. “I just bought a bery beeg yacht—ze beegest yacht in ze vorld. Beeger zan Yuri’s yacht—zat stoopid loser.”

“Good for you, zveetheart.”

They both grinned now, and Odelia noticed how four cats were all staring up at them, mouths agape. They clearly were wondering what had gotten into them.

Just then, the receptionist announced, “Mr. Garibaldi will see you now, Countess and Mr. Abromavich.”

“Go time, babe,” Chase grunted, and led the procession of humans and cats in the direction indicated by the receptionist.

A smallish man with his black hair in a ponytail awaited them with a wide smile. He had the kind of sharp incisors that reminded Odelia of a vampire, and his face was as tan as cowhide.

“Welcome, welcome!” he caroled as they stepped into his office. “Can I offer you some refreshments?”

“Na, ve are fine,” said Chase with a dismissive wave of the hand. “Unless you ave ze vodka?”

“Um…” said Bobby Garibaldi hesitantly.

“Just yoking,” said Chase, and produced a deep booming laugh that reverberated around the room, then clapped a hand on the man’s shoulder, making him buckle at the knees. “Russian humor. Very funny.”

“Very funny,” said Mr. Garibaldi, smiling a little uncertainly. “Ha ha. Please take a seat.” It was only then that he spotted the four cats, all dressed up as if ready to join the Moscow State Circus. “I see you brought your…”

“Cats,” said Odelia. “Ve love our precious vur babies. Ve take zem everywhere. Isn’t that so, Sergei?”

“Zat ees so,” Sergei confirmed. “My vife loves ze cats more than she loves me sometimes I think. Ha ha ha!”

“Ha ha,” said Garibaldi nervously. He didn’t look like the kind of person who liked cats—or any pet for that matter.

The collected company took a seat in a corner of the office which had clearly been designed as the place where Garibaldi hosted his business guests and conducted his negotiations. The table was shaped like another one of his candies, and the chairs were all vividly colored molded plastic.

Odelia took a seat, making sure that her artificially enhanced bust was on full display. She felt a little awkward playing out her assets like this, but when Garibaldi’s eyes almost popped from their native sockets it was clear the gambit was working.

“So you want to invest in Garibo Enterprises, is that correct?” asked Garibaldi, getting down to business without further ado.

“Zat ees so,” Chase confirmed. “Ve vant to expand into ze candy beeznees—a bery good and lucrative beeznees am I right?”

“Oh, you’re absolutely right,” said Garibaldi, rubbing his little hands gleefully at the prospect of getting a nice big influx of cash. “And how much were you thinking of investing, if I may be so bold?”

“You may be so bold,” Chase confirmed. “Ow much?” He made an airy gesture as he blew out some air. “Forty millions? Fifty? Just a small sum to establish good faith, you understand.”

Now Garibaldi’s eyes popped out even further. “F-fifty million dollars?”

“Dollars, yes,” Chase confirmed. “Chump change for me, and a nice vay of getting zees beeznees relationsheep off to a good start, yes?”

“Y-yes, indeed.” Garibaldi licked his lips eagerly. “What business are you in right now, Mr. Abromavich?”

“Oh, a leetle beet of zis and a leetle beet of zat. But we like the candy, isn’t that so, sweet puss?”

“Ve like ze candy very much,” Odelia agreed with a purr.

“Everybody likes the candy,” said Garibaldi, his eyes now taking in Odelia’s form. “I like the candy, you like the candy—they like the candy.” He gestured to the four cats, who were all staring at the scene, as if having a hard time grasping what was going on.

“So I vanted to ask you,” said Chase, settling back and adjusting his tie. “Zertain rumors ave reached my eers.”

“What rumors?” asked Garibaldi, reluctantly dragging his eyes away from Odelia.

“Ze dead voman–she vas your aunt?”

Garibaldi swallowed. “Not my aunt,” he said, shaking his head.

“Zen oo ees she?”

“I have absolutely no idea,” said the CEO. “But I can assure you her unfortunate death has nothing to do with Garibo whatsoever. No matter what you’ve been told—”

“I’ve been told your aunt disappeared tventy years ago and now she turn up dead.”

“No, no, no,” said Garibaldi, shaking his head in quick motions. “No, she isn’t my aunt. My aunt disappeared, that’s true, but the woman that was found—she shares a vague resemblance to my aunt. But apart from that—”

“You are zure, Mr. Garibaldi?” asked Chase, arching an inquisitive brow.

“Yes, absolutely. No connection to Garibo Enterprises whatsoever. You have my word on that.”

Odelia noticed how the little guy was getting more and more nervous, perspiration beading on his brow as he spoke.

“I ave another qvestion for you.”

“Shoot,” said the manager.

“Your uncle—he owns Garibo Enterprises does he not?”

“Yes—Uncle Quintin is the company’s owner.”

“And he’s retiring soon? Leaving you in charge?”

“No, well, yes.” The little guy cleared his throat and flashed a nervous smile. “The thing is, Uncle Quintin has a hard time letting go. So even though I’ve been running the business for the last twenty years or so, technically he’s still in charge. But since he’s pushing eighty, he obviously realizes a transition is the best thing for the future of the company.”

“And has dees transition taken place?” asked Chase, giving the manager a hard stare.

The man wilted a little under the onslaught. “Um, well, I can tell you in confidence that a transition is indeed in the works, and that you are looking at the future owner of Garibo Enterprises.”

“Beecause if you are not ze boss, and Quintin Gardner ees ze boss, you understand ve vould like to speak to ze real boss instead of you.”

“Oh, no, I understand—absolutely. But rest assured, I am the man in charge. So if you’re ready to invest, I’m the guy to talk to—one hundred percent your guy.”

“Very good,” said Chase, satisfied.

Suddenly there was a commotion at the door, and the receptionist came in, followed by two ladies. “I’m sorry, sir. They insisted to speak to you.”

“Ve are two Russian investors and ve vould like to invest in your company!” the first lady bellowed. Odelia was surprised to discover it was her own grandmother, dressed up like a model, complete with fishnet stockings, a tight dress and about an inch of makeup.

Next was Scarlett Canyon, teetering on the highest heels Odelia had ever seen.

“Ve vould like to invest money in your candy,” Scarlett announced. Her top was cut even lower than usual, her bust practically spilling out and causing Garibaldi to make a whimpering sound as he caught sight of it.

And then Gran suddenly noticed Odelia and Chase and her smile vanished. She pointed at them. “Vat are zey doing ere?”

“What?” asked Garibaldi feebly.

“Zey are thieves, Mr. Garibo,” said Gran. “Zey vork for KGB. Zey are spies—here to steal your candy-making secrets!”

Garibaldi’s head turned so fast it actually creaked. “Is this true?” he asked, his voice a squeak now.

“Of course not,” Chase assured him. “Ve are honest investors, here to invest our meelions of dollars.”

“Lies!” Gran cried. “Zey ave no munney. No munney at all. Only lies and cheating!”

Scarlett, who must have sensed things were getting out of hand, came teetering up to Garibaldi, then actually fell down on top of the man. “Oopsie poopsie,” she said as she clung to him. “I vant to know all about you, Gari. Vill you tell Svetlana all about candy?”

“Y-yes,” said Garibaldi. “O-of course.”

“Oh, for crying out loud,” muttered Chase, suddenly not sounding like a Russian oligarch at all.

And things would presumably have gone downhill even further, if the burly security guard from last night hadn’t walked in at that moment. “What seems to be the problem?” he asked, then caught sight of Gran and Scarlett and his expression darkened.

“Didn’t I tell you two to get lost and stay lost?”

“Wait, you know these people?” asked Garibaldi.

“They tried to breach the perimeter last night, sir,” said the guard. Then he noticed Odelia and Chase, even though they’d been trying to make themselves inconspicuous. “Detective—I hope this time you’ll make an arrest, sir.”

Garibaldi gaped. “Detective? What the hell is going on here?”

“I zink eet ees time to go, zweetheart,” said Odelia, getting up.

The security guard arched an eyebrow and displayed a slight smile of surprise. “Yes, I think maybe that’s the best course of action, Miss Poole.”

“Miss Poole?” asked Garibaldi? “Wait, so your name isn’t Anastasia Kuranova?”

“May I introduce you to Miss Odelia Poole,” said the security guard. “She’s a reporter for the Hampton Cove Gazette, and this is Chase Kingsley, detective with the Hampton Cove Police Department.” That amused little smile was playing about his lips. “We met last night when they came to pick up miss Poole’s grandmother over there, and her friend Miss Canyon.”

Garibaldi’s face had taken on a reddish tinge. “Out,” he now said, surprisingly quietly. “All of you, out!”

And so out they all went.

“Does this mean we’re not going to get a tour of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory, Max?” asked Dooley.

“Yes, this means exactly that, Dooley,” said Max.

“And no million-dollar investment either,” murmured Brutus.

“Bruno—how could you allow these people to walk into my office like this!”

“I’m sorry, sir,” said Bruno. “It will never happen again. Will it, Detective Kingsley?”

Chase, much chastened, shook his head.

And thus ended their Russian adventure.