The Mysteries of Max: Books 25-27

Chapter 9

Ted Trapper was traipsing through the fields surrounding the lovely little hamlet of Hampton Cove, photographing birds, butterflies and other representatives of Mother Nature, and having a whale of a time. He didn’t get a lot of time off from his job at the accountancy firm where he worked, and so when he did he tried to make the most of it.

On a scorching hot day, like today was promising to be, most people headed down to the beach or the pool to cool off. But not Ted Trapper. He was lying in a shallow ditch, his camera prone, shooting pictures of birds in action, and inaction, too.

And he’d just pointed his viewfinder at a particularly interesting specimen he thought might be an osprey when suddenly he became aware of a distinct smell filling his nostrils.

It was not a pleasant smell. On the contrary, it was the smell of death and decay.

As he wrinkled up his nose, he glanced around and inspected the ditch he’d selected as his bird hide, and wondered about the nature of the pervasive and unpleasant smell.

And then, suddenly, and much to his dismay, he saw a foot.

Then, relaxing, he realized it was probably not a foot as such but a shoe.

“What people throw away these days,” Ted muttered to himself, and moved over to pick up the shoe with the intention of getting rid of it at a later date. He then discovered that the shoe was stuck, and as he pulled this way and that to dislodge it, he suddenly realized to his horror that it was attached not to the soil, but the sole of someone’s foot!

The stockinged foot stared back at him, as he stared at it, and soon he realized that the weird and unpleasant smell must have come from the human being who was lying in the ditch, which meant that this human being was very much… dead!

He yelped again as the realization hit that he’d been lying right next to a dead body.

And as he scrambled to his own feet, he finally saw the body whole and saw it well: it was a young woman, dressed in a flashy-colored leotard, with blond hair partly covering her face but not enough to hide the fact that she was, indeed, dead, and that she’d been, in life, a very lovely young woman indeed.

And then he was running like a headless chicken, with no clear plan in mind, but only the realization that he needed to get away from this dead person as quickly as possible.

Dolores Peltz was huffing and puffing. The AC in the police station was busted again, and of course it had to happen on the hottest day of the year. She had a tiny ventilator posted on top of her desk, and a bigger one underneath, but they didn’t do much to alleviate the intense heat hanging like a miasma over the station and the town in general.

She’d already put a plastic tub of cold water underneath her desk, and placed her feet in it. It helped, just like Chief Alec had said it would. And there he was now, walking into the police station vestibule, his armpits looking like the victims of a drowning accident.

Perspiration beaded on his brow, and he cried, “When is this repair guy going to get here?”

“Soon, he said,” said Dolores. “Which probably means sometime in the next decade.”

“Maybe we should get one of those portable AC units in here,” said the Chief, fanning himself with a cardboard folder he’d picked up from Dolores’s desk. “We could have one in here, one in my office, and a couple in the main area. What do you think?”

“I think that’s a great idea, Chief. If only you’d ordered them last week, we might not be melting right now.”

“I’ll order them right now,” said the Chief, and started to walk off.

“Holy moly would you look at that,” said Dolores, halting the Chief in his tracks.

They both watched as Ted Trapper came staggering in, looking like a melted piece of cheese, if cheese was completely red in the face and dressed like a boy scout.

“Ted, didn’t you listen to the health advisory?” asked the Chief. “No strenuous activities today. This heat will kill you if you keep running around like that.”

“A… dead… body… Chief,” gasped Ted in between sucking in big gulps of air. “I… found… dead body.”

“Slow down, buddy,” said Chief Alec. “Now what did you just say?”

Ted gulped, and gratefully accepted a tall glass of cold water from Dolores, who’d downed a couple of those big suckers herself already that morning. But instead of drinking the stuff, Ted simply chucked it over his head. It seemed to do him a lot of good, though the Chief didn’t look pleased when the water hit the carpeted floor of his vestibule.

“I found a dead body,” said Ted, sounding more coherent already. “Out by Farmer Giles’s field. I was shooting birds when I saw her. Lying right next to me. Dead in the ditch!”

“You were out shooting birds?” asked Dolores censoriously. She liked birds, and intensely disliked the kind of people who shot them for fun and sport.

“With my camera,” Ted specified, pointing to the bulky object on his chest.

“Man or woman,” said the Chief, immediately shifting into operational gear.

“Woman,” said Ted. “Can I have another one of those, please, Dolores?”

“Not if you’re going to chuck it over your head again,” said Dolores.

“No, this time I’m going to drink it,” said Ted. “She was dressed in a leotard. The kind of outfit people wear when they go to the fitness club. Sneakers, blond hair, blue eyes…” He swallowed away a lump. “Oh, and the smell, Chief. She must be dead days.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’ll determine that,” said the Chief. “You go on inside, Ted, and I’ll have someone take your statement.” Turning to Dolores, he said, “Any missing persons?”

“None, Chief. At least not in the last couple of days.”

The Chief nodded, then said, “Had to happen today, of all days. Hottest day of the year, and boy scout over there found himself a dead body.”

“Look at it this way, Chief. At least you get to drive out there in your nice air-conditioned car,” said Dolores, and handed the Chief her little tub of water.

“What am I supposed to do with this?” he asked, surprised.

“Fill her up, of course. And make it nice and cold.” And before he could respond, she’d already picked up her phone and barked, “Hampton Cove Police how can I help you?!”