So Now You’re a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead

It’s not just you—all zeds are infatuated with the living. After all, they are your only physical need. Obsessed as you are with feeding, it’s not abnormal (relatively speaking) for you to turn a deaf ear to all other distractions. But while you’re eating humans, you should also give some thought to recruiting them. After all, like most predators, zombies are stronger in numbers. The more zombies you walk with, the more humans you can kill and infect—which means still more zombies, and on and on!

Amazingly, as you hunt and battle humans, something magical happens: you will automatically transfer the z-virus to your opponents. Also known as the zombie shot, it’s a simple fluid transfer that occurs during a bite or blood splatter. Once the virus is in a breather’s bloodstream, the infection is irreversible.

Though you have completed your task, the newly infected human has just been introduced to a new world. The infected’s first hours are the most critical. First, the zed-to-be must avoid being consumed. He or she will often flee from your attack, even as the early symptoms of the z-virus kick in. During the virus’s incubation period, the victim’s own bodily fluids become progressively more infectious; often an infected individual will seek shelter with other humans only to spread the virus to those in hiding. They will only welcome the stealth zed until obvious symptoms appear, at which point the infected human will be quarantined or destroyed. The good news is, the communicable seed has already been planted! Depending on the humans’ health precautions and the virulence of the z-virus strain, this common scenario can lead to an impressive outbreak.

On the flip side, as mentioned in earlier chapters, it’s very possible that a newly infected human will be so weakened by the virus that he or she is incapable of escaping your clutches. Good job—eat up! If your feeding frenzy does not damage your victim’s cranial area, and the victim was still alive before the z-virus stopped his or her heart, reanimation as a zombie is still possible. Your new zed friend likely will be a bit dismantled, and not easy on the eyes, but who among the undead is?

In other words, if you continue to properly hunt and attack, your horde should grow without any extra effort on your part. What’s better than getting something for nothing? However, if you have a rabid itch to maximize your infectious potential, this chapter is for you.

Administering an Infection

Most zombies are very reluctant to exert themselves by actively trying to infect a human. They really don’t care! Behavior like this may seem lazy, but it’s to be expected. Zombies may mob together, but they’re mostly independent. We certainly wouldn’t expect you to sacrifice a meal for the greater good of the apocalyptic pandemic! However, in every zed’s post-life comes a time when it is overwhelmed with meal choices. At that moment, when the human supply seems like more than you can handle, why not use your built-in biological weapons to weaken the resistance?

The most common way to transmit the z-virus is to expose your victim to your infected bodily fluids. The human body is covered with entry points that are vulnerable to viral penetration. The eyes, mouth, nose, and ears are all potential gateways to the human circulatory system. So are uncovered wounds anywhere on the body. More exotic infection methods, such as injection via syringe, have also been reported.

To increase your chances of infection, use one of the popular transfer methods outlined below.

What did you say? “Bite me”? No problem! Forty-eight percent of all zombies were infected through a bite. As you already know, your mouth is like a versatile Swiss army knife. You can use it for attacking, holding, feeding, moaning—and infecting, too. Once your rotten grill breaks the skin of a living human, they’re contaminated. No wonder the zombie jaw is so feared by humans.

Cranial bites are the most effective, though humans will often block your attempts with their hands. A few fingers in your mouth shouldn’t stop you—think of them as appetizers. Unfortunately, if your fingerless target does make it to reanimation, the new recruit may be of little use in a fight. Without opposable thumbs, how will it ever use a melee weapon?

A less serious but still very effective means of transference is administered through your knifelike fingernails. Any lacerations on a living body caused by scratching will be vulnerable to your infectious blood. Once your victim is infected, z-virus symptoms will increase his or her vulnerability, including numbness around the infected scratch. Of course, too much clawing can lead to potentially fatal blood loss … which is fine if you are hungry.

The third most common means of transference is the infamous psycho blood splatter. This method is less controllable than biting or scratching, but it frequently occurs during altercations with the living. If one of your body parts is crushed or cut by a breather’s attack, infected blood may fly from your body or the attacker’s weapon and land on a human’s skin.

However, because you do not have a functioning circulatory system like a human, your blood will not spray when an artery is cut. It needs to enter an open wound or facial opening through its own momentum.

Projectile Vomiting

Records show that exposure to infected vomit is the forth leading cause of infection. As with blood splatter, the vomit will need to penetrate a wound or facial opening if it is to infect your victim. Depending on what is churning in that stomach of yours, it’s easily possible to produce a half-gallon of heave. With that much spew, you can quickly infect an entire group of last-ditch defenders. Hopefully they are shocked, standing with their mouths open.

It’s amazing how many atypical sources of infections we have observed. They’re rarely the result of zed action, but it’s still good to be aware of the possibilities. Breathers can contract the z-virus by consuming infected food or being bitten by a mosquito that has recently fed on infected blood. Human scientists may inject test subjects with the virus for research purposes. We have even witnessed a newly infected human purposely infecting friends and family for undead companionship.

Of all the bizarre viral vectors, sexual contact is most common. After close encounters with our forces, human survivors tend to feel a heightened need for physical and emotional intimacy. It isn’t uncommon for the opposition to lay down their arms for a bit, and lie down with each other. As mentioned before, early symptoms of the virus are not always visible, with or without clothing.

Stages of Zombification

The act of transference was child’s play compared to the process of zombification. Every zombie goes through a series of uncomfortable transformations that lead to reanimation. Incubation times vary, but with the most common strain of the z-virus, the process takes about 24 hours. If you are curious about what actually happens during transformation and reanimation, review the seven stages of zombification below.

Isn’t it amazing that this microscopic devil is the foundation of the undead kingdom? With millions of viruses, why is the z-virus the most feared by man? First off, it’s resilient. The armored capsid is capable of fending off 100 percent of antiviral drugs developed by human science. In addition, the z-virus is fast! It does not discriminate based on age, size, race, or method of transference, and will take only seconds to bypass the immune system and begin zed restoration. Once introduced into the bloodstream, the virus dedicates itself to reproduction (yeah, baby!) and quickly begins to self-assemble within host cells.

Within 20 seconds, all of the body’s thousands of miles of veins will flow with infected blood. At this point, the circulatory system is only helping the virus. Unaware of the invasion, it will continue to cycle blood throughout the entire body, roughly three times every minute. This makes amputation of an infected limb almost impossible; a victim would have only seconds to remove the appendage, and that’s a procedure the living prefer not to rush.

As the virus attacks and breaks down healthy blood plasma, the human’s blood begins to coagulate. Eventually the heart will experience complications from the coagulating blood, prompting it to increase the number of beats per minute. This produces the z-virus’s first symptom: high blood pressure. Amazingly, the resulting pressure is forceful enough to squirt blood up to 30 feet, assuming the still-functioning heart is lacerated correctly.

The coagulating blood also causes signs of rigor mortis in the victim’s muscles. Other early signs of infection include skin discoloration, pain, and numbness. The skin will attempt to combat the infection, and will turn a purplish-brown color. The nervous system reacts to the unpleasant sensory overload; twitching and cursing are common.

With the human immune system incapable of stopping the infection, more visible symptoms begin to appear. Although the victim experiences chills, his or her internal body temperature actually elevates, showing signs of a high-grade fever of around 100 to 106° F. The fever will continue to worsen until the paralysis of stage 4 sets in. The chart below should give you an idea of the progression.

Increased heart rate will lead to acute joint pain, and the victim’s body will try to counteract the attack by vomiting. Stomach fluids and undigested food have a high probability of being infectious at this stage, making the victim’s vomit lethal.

The host’s cognitive functions are severely damaged as the virus begins to infest the billions of neurons in the brain. Severe encephalitis (inflammation of the brain) causes confusion and abnormal behavior. Cells that are not mutated are often killed in the process.

Hallucinations and mild dementia are followed by the inability to speak or swallow. The operation of individual neurons is disrupted, impairing muscle coordination and ultimately leading to partial paralysis. The virus also alters the brain’s thalamus, shutting down all pain receptors, and damages the temporal lobe. Once these renovations are complete, the victim will be capable only of basic motor functions and primitive instinctual responses.

Full-body paralysis is necessary in order to restrain the body during the final stages of transformation. A body that does not lose complete mobility could overexert itself, possibly causing permanent death (i.e., no post-life).

In the paralysis stage, the victim first experiences overall numbness as the virus lowers his or her heart rate. Then lower-body paralysis sets in, followed by upper-body paralysis. The victim’s flesh is now 50 percent infectious, and it generates reduced levels of the once-irresistible fresh-flesh pheromone (see “Nose,” page 24). So not only is the host’s flesh becoming useless to you and your fellow hungry zombies, but it will also repel you from attacking. This is a helpful feature, because if the victim is attacked and killed before reaching the final stages of zombification, he or she will never make it to reanimation.

While it appears that the body has shut down, the virus is actually modifying the nanotubes in the host’s cellular walls. Once these structures are completely infected and transformed, they transport endogenous chemicals from cell to cell, allowing low-level intercellular communication that bypasses the complex systems of the human body. While this cellular communication is slower, it is necessary once the victim’s nervous system shuts down.

More zed puberty is also taking place. Skeletal muscles are slightly modified to serve basic locomotion. These muscles no longer need oxygen-rich blood; instead, they function with the blood already circulating in the muscles at the time of infection. This infected blood eventually will need to be replenished by uninfected flesh.

A necessary step of zombification is to disconnect all energy-draining body functions. Once cell mutation is complete, the virus pulls the plug—like you, the victim is now a flatliner! Once the heart stops, brain activity also comes to a screeching halt, erasing his or her memory.

What’s up, zombification survivor? The host’s anatomy now experiences reverse rigor mortis, unclamping the body following its final transformation. This reanimation can take anywhere from a few minutes to several hours, depending on virus strain. Body temperature levels off at approximately 70° F, and low-level viral brain activity can also be detected.

The new zombie will start to experience faint body movements that are stimulated by reflexes. It will eventually arise to discover a combination of physical and psychological changes, along with new abilities with which it is not yet familiar. Subconsciously, it feels hungry, not in the stomach but in the brain. This is the virus communicating that it needs human flesh … now! The victim is now 100 percent infected, and one bad-ass zed!

Worldwide Infection

Any brain-eating zed currently roaming the earth has the potential to fully contaminate the world of the living. No matter how an outbreak spreads, its all starts with one zombie—maybe even you! If you have the ambition to be Patient Zero, you must first squeeze out a teaspoon of infected blood and get yourself to a highly populated area for about 30 days. Your main goal should be to quickly decrease the number of the breathers while increasing the infected horde.

For a better understanding of what a worldwide outbreak would look like, we’ve created a best-case model covering 160 days. It clearly demonstrates your infectious potential. However, many factors, such as population density, geography, and the effectiveness of the human resistance could alter the real-world results. Remember, zed plans never go according to plan, so be prepared for the unexpected.

Someone’s been infected! Perhaps thanks to you, the first humans have succumbed to the z-virus and withstood zombification. Initial success isn’t just dumb luck; as mentioned before, we rely on the fact that the newly infected are often misdiagnosed and not properly treated with preventative termination. For this reason, three out of five new zombies survive the first 48 hours, and 56 percent of all outbreaks last at least 8 days.

Once reanimated and unrestrained, the new recruits are free to quickly disrupt the human status quo. Remember, without aggressive networking, the horde’s effort will simply fizzle out. If you want to maintain a terrifying crisis level, we suggest you infect 75 humans during the outbreak’s incubation period. Yes, this sounds daunting, but with a 24-hour reanimation cycle, you won’t be working alone for long.

If the outbreak has survived the first 30 days, it has a real chance. At this point, zombie numbers should have escalated into the thousands. A horde this size is very capable of generating widespread panic. The living resistance will scramble to quarantine large metropolitan areas within military perimeters. With high-density populations trapped, the infection will spread rapidly.

Cities and small countries have the potential to collapse altogether, sometimes in as short as 28 days. To further spread the outbreak, you’ll need to penetrate containment perimeters. Review previous chapters for information on how to navigate obstacles and barricades.

If the outbreak is still raging after 160 days, containment perimeters have clearly been compromised. A global pandemic is now within reach. With multiple fronts battling a worldwide outbreak, humans will show signs of exhaustion, their supplies diminished. Soon even larger countries may be overrun by hundreds of thousands of hungry brain-eaters.

The infected horde will continue to multiply unless new, unconventional weaponry is successfully deployed against the horde. To prevent such a setback, targeting the humans’ high-tech installations becomes increasingly important (see “Other Human Infrastructures,” page 58). Toward the tail-end of the first year of infection, the total collapse of human civilization will be near. With any luck, you could soon be walking through the valley of the shadow of death, fearing no evil!

Reset your calendars to 1 A.Z.—After Zombie!

Infecting Animals

Depending on z-virus strain and their own biological makeup, some animals can experience zombification. The following creatures are the most susceptible to infection: apes, bears, bulls, cats, chimps, crocodiles, crows, dogs, elephants, gorillas, hippopotamuses, horses, komodo dragons, monkeys, pigs, rhinos, sharks, and wolves. A pretty impressive lineup—so would it be a good idea to invite infected critters into the horde?

The real question is, why risk it? Animals that resemble something out of a Pet Sematary are never a good idea to have around, not even for zombies. Think about it: if infected, an animal with far superior speed and strength would be competing with zeds to consume human flesh, and would likely succeed! In addition, attempting to purposely infect an animal can end in your own disfigurement. Almost all zombified animals are uncontrollable. And some animals, because of their size and power, should be avoided, infected or not (see “Ordering Off the Menu,” page 114).

Only a few undead animal could realistically assist a horde. The most notable is zed’s best friend, the domesticated zombie canine. (Not to be confused with werezombies.) But infected dogs are susceptible to many of the same problems zeds face; they need uninfected flesh to hold back the ravages of decomposition. They also have a shorter life cycle than human brain-eaters, due to the increased physical strain their undead bodies are subjected to.

It’s also surprisingly difficult to deliberately infect even a domesticated animal. If captured, most animals will reject your toxic flesh as food. The zed body certainly doesn’t smell appetizing, and it lacks carbohydrates, fats, and proteins. Starving animals that foolishly consume infectious flesh often die and do not reanimate.

But as with humans, animal are sometimes infected unintentionally. A curious critter that sniffs infected poo-poo or a terminated zed corpse could pick up the strain. (By the same token, if an uninfected human sniffs around an infected animal corpse, he or she could be infected.) Animals can also contract the virus by attacking a zombie—but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to deliberately provoke an animal in order to infect it!