The Boudoir No. 2

A JOSKIN'S IDEAS ABOUT "FUN"

There was a case tried on one of the Circuits many years ago, it was the Northern, I think, but it matters little; we will tell the story literally as it was told to us. It was one of those cases, happily now much rarer than formerly, known as cases of bestiality. A party connected with the rural districts had carried his admiration of agricultural pursuits so far as to form a loving intimacy with a pig. This piece of we doubt not purely sympathetic enjoyment was witnessed by another gentleman strongly resembling the prisoner, both in his outward appearance, and not improbably in his tastes and mental capacity.

The examination proceeded something after this manner — Crown Counsel- Then you saw this abominable connexion between the prisoner at the bar and the animal?

Joskin- I dunnow 'bout 'proper kunnexion, but I saw 'un (indicating the prisoner with a toss of his head) getting atop — (Here the Counsel interposed irascibly with, "That will do!") Counsel- And you say you told it as a joke at the nearest beerhouse, and so the matter came to be noticed?

Joskin — Yoy, aw did — and they laughed a power they did: but Tummas he went and told Dan, Parson's man; and he told 'un measter, and he told constable.

By the Court- Why, when you say that you were only on the other side of the hedge while this abominable connexion was going on, did you not interfere as any other Christian man would have done, and pull the human brute away from the other one? (No reply to this.) Counsel- Don't you hear what his Lordship says? Why didn't you pull the prisoner off the pig?

Joskin (very deliberately) — Whoy you see! Pig wornt moy pig, and't wornt measter's pig; so it wornt not consarn o' mine. I thowt it good foon!

Counsel (in great wrath) — Stand down, sir, I believe you are as great a brute as either of the other brutes concerned in the matter. "Good foon," indeed!