The Boudoir No. 2

ECCENTRICITIES

A countryman and his wife travelling met some gypsies on the road. The peasant, thinking to put a joke on those straggling persons, said to one of them, "You black devil, can you tell me my fortune?" "Yes, that I can," answered she. "Give me your hand." He did so. Having examined it a few minutes,

"It is not long ago," she said, "that your wife made you a cuckold." The wife hearing her say so said, "The devil take these gypsies, they know everything!"

In Scotland the women call the pillows of their beds "cods."

An Englishman on his travels there one night on going to bed the maid of the house came in to take away the candle, asked him, "how his 'cods' lay, whether they were easy?" He on hearing these words, thinking the girl to be a whore, called her all the bad names he could think of; and would not for a long time be persuaded to patience, or think her any other than a strumpet.

A certain friar, being taken in the fact of great familiarity with a man's wife, was much blamed for the same, and showed the danger of breaking the seventh commandment, to which the cunning friar answered, "It is not said that T shall not commit adultery, but that 'thou' shall not commit adultery."

A Papist and a Quaker travelling through a plain where a cross was erected, the Papist very devoutly bowed to it, which so inflamed the zeal of the honest Quaker, that he told the Papist with much indignation, "He might as well bow to the gallows, because they were both made of wood." To which the Papist replied, "Why, then, in way of salute, may not you as well kiss your wife's arse as well as her mouth, seeing that they are both made of the same material."

Two actors on the stage having in their comedy appointed a place of meeting, one asked the other "Where it should be?" The other being a little absent, and having forgot his part, looked round to the upper gallery, and seeing a young fellow groping a girl under the apron he said to his companion, pointing to the place, "Let it be at the 'Hand and Placket.'" The young man finding himself discovered, suddenly drew back his hand, to whom the player said,

"Nay, pray sir, do not take away your hand; for if you pull away the sign, you disappoint us of our meeting place,"

A lively female of about sixteen years of age being asked, whether her maidenhead was "within" her or "without" her, answered, "within her." "Then," said he, "you are 'without' your maidenhead."

A maidenhead, a thing I know not what,

Some say 'tis this, and others say 'tis that; 'Tis a noun, adjective! I'll make it good; 'Tis neither seen, felt, heard, nor understood.

Lady Bridget L- said the most difficult appointment at court was that of a "maid" of honour.

Mrs. Drummond, the famous preacher among the Quakers, being asked by a gentleman if the "spirit" had ever inspired her with the thoughts of marriage, "No, friend," says she, "but the 'flesh' often has."