ECCENTRICITIES

"Mary," said Mrs. Robinson to her servant, "I believe you are in the family way!"

"Yes, marm; and so are you!"

"But, girl, you don't understand; I'm married, and have a father for my child."

"Yes, marm; and so have I."

"You don't understand; my husband is the father of my child."

"And so he is of mine, marm."

"For shame, you hussey; why my husband wouldn't touch you with a pair of tongs."

"No, marm; but he did with his little poker!"

Exit Mrs. Robinson for an explanation with the gay old deceiver.

A snob fitting on a pair of boots for a young lady On his knees and at it, put it in and pat it;

"Is it in?" says he;

"Oh, yes," says she,

"As nice as nice can be, and I like it."

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