The Boudoir No. 2

VERY AGGRAVATING

St. Stroakum's Hall was by no means one of the most celebrated among the colleges of the University of Camford; indeed properly speaking, it was not a college. There were

three subjects, however, on which it prided itself reasonably enough; the strength of the ale, the high character maintained by its men, both on the river and in the saddle, and the leniency almost universally displayed by the principal, Dr. Seebright. This leniency was, however, sometimes sorely tried; as follows, for instance. Two young gentlemen, Flewker and Bowles, went out on horseback for the good of their health; the object being of course to relieve their brains from the pressure of intense study, or peradventure from the fumes arising from the wine party of the preceding night.

As a matter of course they did not slavishly confine themselves to the high road; and as Camford hacks are expected to jump anything and everything, they had got pretty far into the middle of farmer Goodlot's land, when they found themselves "pounded" in a field with a high banked fence, and a locked gate. To smash the padlock took a little time, and when it was happily accomplished, up came farmer, accompanied by an aide-de-camp with a pitchfork, and a bulldog. How they conducted themselves in this emergency, and the valuable information the worthy agriculturist received respecting their names and colleges, may be judged from the scene which took place in Dr. Seebright's study next day. It appeared that the farmer, who was by no means such a fool as he looked, knew where their horses came from, and ascertained our gentlemen's names from the stable keeper, who was a "pal" of his. Consequently Messrs. Flewker and Bowles were surprised and considerably disgusted on being informed that the principal wanted to speak to them in his study, where, sure enough, they found farmer Goodlot in a highly excited state.

"Are these the two young gentlemen you were complaining about?" asked Dr. S., eyeing the culprits sternly.

"Ay, ay, Sir," replied the farmer, "them's them, safe enough; and when I asked them for their names and colleges, that 'un," pointing to Bowles, "fust said his name was Testiculous Pendages,' or summat like that, and when I told 'un that I didn't believe 'un, he said he was Dr. Seebright; and I knew, Sir, as ow you was principal of St. Stroakum 'All, and not likely to be up to such games."

"I should think not indeed," said the horrified dignitary.

"And the other genTman," continued the farmer, "said his name was 'P'sterior Horrifus/ or something like that, which I knew was a loy; and they smashed my gate, and they thrashed my bulldog; and they offered my man Ben half-acrown to stick a pitchfork into me; and they swore and cu'st till they gave me the guts-ache, and they wanted to know if I had any good-looking daughters, because if I had-"

"There, that will do, Mr. Goodlot," interrupted the principal, who didn't know what might be coming out next.

"Yes, your reverence," was the reply, "but the aggravatingest thing was, that there genTman," pointing to Flewker,

"would keep on saying his name was T'sterior Horrifus!' he keeps bawlin' out — very aggrawatin* that was — very!"