The Complete Plays

SASHA (yawns). Get going!

OSIP. I’m going . . . (Goes.) I’m going home . . . My home is where the floor is the earth, the ceiling is the sky, and nobody knows where the walls and roof are . . . Anybody cursed by God lives in this home . . . It’s vast, but there’s nowhere to lay your head . . . The only good thing is you don’t have to pay the county propitty taxes on it . . . (Stops.) Good night, Aleksandra Ivanovna! Please pay me a visit! In the forest! Ask for Osip, every bird and lizard knows who I am! Look there at how that little stump is glowing! Like a dead man riz up from his grave . . . And there’s another! My mother told me that under a stump that’s glowing there’s a sinner buried, and the stump glows so that folks’ll pray for him . . . There’ll be a stump glowing over me . . . I’m a sinner too . . . And there’s a third! A heap of sinners in this world! (Exits and whistles for a couple of minutes.)

SCENE II

SASHA (alone).

SASHA (comes out of the school with a candle and a book). How long Misha’s been away . . . (Sits down.) I hope he won’t damage his health . . . These open-air parties always make a person sick . . . Besides, I want to go to bed . . . Where did I leave off? (Reads.) “It is high time, at long last, to proclaim once more those great, eternal ideals of humanity, those immortal principles of freedom which were the guiding stars of our fathers and which we betrayed, to our dismay.” What does that mean? (Thinks.) I don’t understand . . . Why don’t they write so that everyone can understand? What’s next . . . Mmm . . . I’ll skip the preface . . . (Reads.) “Sacher Masoch”⁶⁰. . . What a funny name! . . . Masoch . . . I suppose he’s not Russian . . . What’s next . . . Misha insists I read it, so I’ve got to read it . . . (Yawns and reads.) “One merry winter’s evening” . . . Well, this can be skipped . . . A description . . . (Turns over the pages and reads.) “It was hard to decide who was playing which instrument . . . Powerful, majestic tones of an organ played by a firm male hand suddenly shifted to a delicate flute as if sounded by magnificent female lips and finally died away . . . “ Shhh . . . Someone’s coming . . . (Pause.) Those are Misha’s footsteps . . . (Blows out the candle.) At last . . . (Gets up and shouts.) Hey! One, two, one, two! Left, right, left, right! Left! left!

Enter PLATONOV.

SCENE III

SASHA and PLATONOV.

PLATONOV (entering). To spite you: right! right! Actually, my dear, neither right nor left! A drunken man knows neither right nor left: he knows forward, backward, sideways, and down . . .

SASHA. Please come here, my little drunkard, sit over here! Let me show you how to step sideways and down! Sit down! (Throws her arms round Platonov’s neck.)

PLATONOV. Let’s sit . . . (Sits.) Why aren’t you asleep, you infusoria?⁶¹

SASHA. I don’t feel like it . . . (Sits beside him.) They kept you late!

PLATONOV. Yes, late . . . . Has the passenger train gone by yet?

SASHA. Not yet. The freight train went by about an hour ago.

PLATONOV. Which means, it isn’t two o’clock yet. Have you been back a long time?

SASHA. I’ve been home since ten . . . When I got back, Kolka was screaming to beat the band . . . I left without saying good-bye, I hope they forgive me . . . Was there dancing after I left?

PLATONOV. There was dancing, and there was a supper, and there were scandalous scenes . . . Among other things . . . did you know? Did it happen while you were there? Old man Glagolyev had a stroke!

SASHA. What are you saying?!

PLATONOV. Yes . . . Your brother let his blood and intoned a requiem mass . . .

SASHA. How did it happen? What came over him? He seemed healthy by the look of him . . .

PLATONOV. A mild stroke . . . Mild luckily for him and unluckily for his little jackass, whom he stupidly dignifies by the name of son . . . They drove him home . . . Can’t have a party without a scandal! Such is our fate, I suppose!

SASHA. I can imagine how frightened Anna Petrovna and Sofya Yegorovna must have been! How gorgeous that Sofya Yegorovna is! I rarely see such pretty women . . . There’s something special about her . . .

Pause.

PLATONOV. Ugh! Stupid, despicable . . .

SASHA. What?

PLATONOV. What have I done?! (Covers his face with his hands.) Shameful!

SASHA. What did you do?

PLATONOV. What did I do? Nothing nice! When have I ever done anything I wasn’t ashamed of afterwards?

SASHA (aside). He’s drunk, poor dear! (to him.) Let’s go to bed!

PLATONOV. I was more despicable than ever! Where’s your self-respect after that! What’s worse than to be devoid of self respect! My God! There’s nothing about me anyone could count on, nothing anyone could respect and love!

Pause.

Although you love me . . . I don’t understand! Evidently you’ve found something in me that can be loved? You love me?

SASHA. What a question! How could I not love you?

PLATONOV. I know, but tell me specifically the good thing that you love me for! Point out the good thing that you love about me!

SASHA. Hm . . . What do I love you for? How cranky you are today, Misha! How can I help but love you, since you’re my husband?

PLATONOV. You love me only because I’m your husband?

SASHA. I don’t understand you.

PLATONOV. You don’t understand? (Laughs.) Oh, you, my perfect little fool! Why aren’t you a fly? With your brains you could be the smartest fly in the world of flies! (Kisses her on the forehead.) What would happen to you if you did understand me, if you lost your lovely ignorance! Would you be so happy a woman, if you and your pristine little mind could realize that there is nothing lovable about me? Don’t understand, my treasure, don’t get informed, if you want to love me! (Kisses her hand.) My ownliest one! And I am happy basking in the warmth of your ignorance! I have a family, like other people . . . I have a family . . .

SASHA (laughs). Crackpot!

PLATONOV. You’re my treasure! My dear little, stupid little country girl! Shouldn’t have you as a wife, but keep you on the table under glass! And how did you and I manage to bring Nikolka into God’s green world? You shouldn’t be giving birth to Nikolkas, but shaping toy soldiers out of cookie-dough, my better half!

SASHA. You’re talking nonsense, Misha!

PLATONOV. God forbid you ever understand! Do not understand! Let the world be square so ships sail off the edge!⁶² Where would we find faithful wives, if it weren’t for women like you, Sasha? (Tries to kiss her.)

SASHA (won’t let him). Get out of here! (Angrily.) Why did you marry me, if I’m such a fool! You should have found yourself a clever woman! I didn’t force you!

PLATONOV (roars with laughter). So you know how to get angry? Ah, what the hell! Why, this is a genuine discovery in the field of . . . Which field? A genuine discovery, my darling! So you know how to get angry? You’re not joking?

SASHA (gets up). Go to bed, pal! If you didn’t drink, you wouldn’t be making discoveries! Drunkard! And a schoolteacher at that! You’re not a teacher, but a piggy-wig! Get to bed! (Slaps him on the back and exits into the schoolhouse.)

SCENE IV

PLATONOV (alone).

PLATONOV. Am I actually drunk? That can’t be, I didn’t drink that much . . . And yet, my head’s not quite normal . . .

Pause.

And when I talked to Sofya, was I . . . drunk? (Thinks.) No, I wasn’t! I was not, unfortunately, good grief! I was not! My damned sobriety! (Leaps up.) How has her wretched husband done me any harm? Why did I sling such mud at him in her hearing? Don’t forgive me for this, conscience of mine! I babbled away to her like a little kid, struck poses, played scenes, boasted . . . (Mimics himself.) “Why didn’t you marry a hard-working man, a man who’s suffering?” Why should she marry a hard-working man, a man who’s suffering? Why, you lunatic, did you say things you didn’t believe? Ah! . . . She believed them . . . She listened to the ravings of an idiot and looked down at her feet! Went all limp, the wretched woman, melted . . . How stupid all this is, how despicable, absurd! It’s perfectly revolting . . . (Laughs.) A self-centered bully! They used to poke fun at our merchants for being self-centered bullies, laugh them to scorn⁶³. . . It was laughter through tears and tears through laughter . . . Who laughs at me? When? Ridiculous! He doesn’t take bribes, doesn’t steal, doesn’t beat his wife, thinks decent thoughts, but . . . he’s a scoundrel! A ridiculous scoundrel! An above-average scoundrel! . . .

Pause.

I have to leave here . . . I’ll ask the school inspector for another post . . . I’ll write to town today . . .

Enter VENGEROVICH JR.

SCENE V

PLATONOV and VENGEROVICH JR.

VENGEROVICH JR. (entering). Hm . . . The schoolhouse, in which that half-baked sage sleeps on forever . . . Is he doing his usual sleeping or his usual bickering? (On seeing Platonov.) There he is, hollow, yet reverberant . . . Neither sleeping nor bickering . . . An abnormal state of affairs . . . (To him.) Still up?

PLATONOV. As you see! Why stop here? Let me wish you a good night!

VENGEROVICH JR. I’ll be going right away. You’re bound by the spell of solitude? (Looks around.) You feel yourself a lord of creation? On such a splendid night . . .

PLATONOV. On your way home?

VENGEROVICH JR. Yes . . . Father took the carriage, and I am compelled to make my way on foot. Enjoying yourself? But then isn’t it pleasant—don’t you agree?—to drink champagne and under its influence have the nerve for self-scrutiny! May I sit beside you?

PLATONOV. You may.

VENGEROVICH JR. Thank you. (Sits down.) I like to say thank you for everything. How sweet to sit here, here on these steps, and feel yourself monarch of all you survey! Where is your girlfriend, Platonov? After all, amid this rustling, this whispering of nature, the singing and chirping of grasshoppers, the only thing missing is lovers’ prattle to turn it all into paradise! This coy, flirtatious breeze lacks only the warm breath of a charming creature to make your cheeks flush with happiness! The whispering of Mother Nature lacks words of love . . . A woman!! You stare at me in amazement . . . Ha, ha! Am I not speaking my native tongue? True, it isn’t native to me . . . Once I’ve sobered up, I’ll blush more than once at such words . . . Still, why shouldn’t I spout poetry? Hm . . . Who’s stopping me?

PLATONOV. Nobody.

VENGEROVICH JR. Or, perhaps, this language of the gods is out of keeping with my status, my looks? Is my face unpoetic?

PLATONOV. It is unpoetic . . .

VENGEROVICH JR. Unpoetic . . . Hm . . . Delighted. We Jews do not have poetic features. Nature played us a dirty trick, didn’t endow us Jews with poetic features! We are usually judged by our faces and on the grounds that we have certain features, they deny us any poetic feelings . . . They say that Jews are not poets.

PLATONOV. Who says that?

VENGEROVICH JR. Everybody says it . . . But, after all, it’s dirty slander!

PLATONOV. Stop equivocating! Who says it?

VENGEROVICH JR. Everybody says it, but in fact we have a great many genuine poets, not Pushkins, not Lermontovs,⁶⁴ but still the genuine article! Auerbach, Heine, Goethe . . .⁶⁵

PLATONOV. Goethe’s German.

VENGEROVICH JR. Jewish!

PLATONOV. German!

VENGEROVICH JR. Jewish! I know what I’m talking about!

PLATONOV. And I know what I’m talking about, but have it your way! It’s hard to win an argument with a half-educated Jew.

VENGEROVICH JR. Very hard . . .

Pause.

But even if there were no poets! Big deal! We have poets — fine, we don’t have poets—even better! A poet, regarded as a man of feeling, is in most cases a parasite, an egotist . . . Did Goethe, as a poet, ever give a crust of bread to a single German proletarian?

PLATONOV. That’s stale! That’s enough of that, youngster! He didn’t take a crust of bread away from a German proletarian! That’s the important thing . . . Besides, better to be a poet than nothing! A million times better! Anyway, let’s not talk . . . Never mind the crust of bread, about which you haven’t the slightest clue, and poets, whom your shriveled-up soul doesn’t understand, and me, whom you will not leave in peace!

VENGEROVICH JR. I will not, I will not trouble your great heart, you effervescent fellow! . . . I will not pull the cozy coverlet off you . . . Sleep on!

Pause.

Just look at that sky! Yes . . . It’s nice here, peaceful, nothing but trees . . . None of those smug, self-satisfied faces . . . Yes . . . The trees are whispering but not to me . . . And the moon doesn’t gaze upon me as affably as she does on Platonov here . . . She’s trying to freeze me with a look . . . You, and I’m quoting, are not one of us . . . Get out of here, out of paradise, back to your grubby Yid place of business . . . Although that’s rot . . . I’m rambling . . . that’s enough! . . .

PLATONOV. Enough . . . Go on, youngster, go home! The longer you sit here, the more you run off at the mouth . . . And this running off at the mouth will make you blush later on, as you’ve said yourself! Go on!

VENGEROVICH JR. I want to run off at the mouth! (Laughs.) Now I’m a poet!

PLATONOV. No man is a poet who is ashamed of being young! You are experiencing youth, so be young! Ridiculous, stupid, perhaps, but still human!

VENGEROVICH JR. All right . . . What stupidity! You are one big crackpot, Platonov! You are all crackpots around here . . . You should have lived in the time of Noah . . . And the general’s lady is a crackpot, and Voinitsev is a crackpot . . . By the way, the general’s lady isn’t bad from the physical standpoint . . . What sharp eyes she’s got! What dainty fingers she’s got! . . . Not bad, when you take her to pieces . . . Breast, neck . . .

Pause.

Why not? Am I your inferior or what? At least once in my life! If thoughts have such a powerful attractive effect on my . . . spinal cord, what bliss would inflame me body and soul if she were to appear right now between those trees and beckon me with her diaphanous fingers! . . . Don’t look at me like that . . . I’m being a fool now, a little boy . . . And yet, who dares forbid me at least once in my life to be a fool? On scientific grounds I’d like to be a fool right now, and happy the way you are . . . I’m happy too . . . Whose business is it? Hm . . .

PLATONOV. But . . . (Looks closely at Vengerovich’s watch-chain.)

VENGEROVICH JR. Anyway, personal happiness is selfish!

PLATONOV. Oh yes! Personal happiness is selfish, and personal unhappiness is virtuous! You really are full of crap! What a chain! What wonderful trinkets! How it shines!

VENGEROVICH JR. Taken a fancy to this chain?! (Laughs.) You’re attracted by this pinchbeck, this glitter . . . (Shakes his head.) Just when you’re preaching to me almost in verse, you can get turned on by gold! Take the chain! Throw it away! (Tears off his chain and throws it aside.)

PLATONOV. What a pompous jingle-jangle! The sound alone lets you know it’s heavy!

VENGEROVICH JR. The gold is heavy in more than weight! You’re lucky that you can sit on these filthy steps! Here you don’t suffer the full heaviness of this filthy gold! Oh, for me these are golden shackles, golden fetters!

PLATONOV. Fetters which don’t last forever! Our fathers knew how to drink them away!

VENGEROVICH JR. How many wretches, how many starvelings, how many drunkards there are under the sun! When, at long last, will the millions who sow in abundance and have nothing to eat cease to starve! When, I ask you? Platonov, why don’t you answer me?

PLATONOV. Leave me out of it! Do me a favor! I don’t like bells that go on ringing for no rhyme or reason! Excuse me, but leave me out of it! I want to go to bed!

VENGEROVICH JR. I’m a bell? Hm . . . More likely you’re the bell . . .

PLATONOV. I’m a bell and you’re a bell, only the difference is I ring myself, and you’re rung by other people . . . Good night! (Gets up.)

VENGEROVICH JR. Good night!

Inside the school a clock strikes two.

It’s two o’clock already . . . One should have been asleep all this time, but I’m not asleep . . . Insomnia, champagne, excitement . . . An abnormal life, responsible for the breakdown of one’s organism . . . (Gets up.) I think I’m getting an ache in my chest . . . Good night! I won’t give you my hand and I’m proud of it. You have no right to shake my hand . . .

PLATONOV. How stupid! As if I cared.

VENGEROVICH JR. I hope that our talk and my . . . running off at the mouth were heard by no one but ourselves and will stay that way . . . (Goes far upstage and comes back again.)

PLATONOV. What do you want now?

VENGEROVICH JR. My chain was somewhere around here . . .

PLATONOV. There it is, your chain! (Tosses the chain with his foot.) Didn’t forget it after all! Listen here, do me a favor, donate this chain to someone I know who is in the ranks of those who sow in abundance but have nothing to eat! This chain will feed him and his family for a whole year! . . . May I present it to him?

VENGEROVICH JR. No . . . I’d be happy to give it to you, but, word of honor, I can’t! It’s a gift, a keepsake . . .

PLATONOV. Yes, yes . . . Clear out of here!

VENGEROVICH JR. (picks up the chain). Leave me alone, please! (Goes back upstage, exhausted, sits down on the railroad track, and hides his face in his hands.)

PLATONOV. The vulgarity! To be young and yet not to be a guiding light! What profound depravity! (Sits down.) It’s disgusting when we run into people who give us a glimpse of our own shameless past! I was once a bit like him . . . Ugh!

Horse’s hoofbeats are heard.

SCENE VI

PLATONOV and ANNA PETROVNA (enters in a riding-habit, holding a hunting crop).

PLATONOV. Madam General!

ANNA PETROVNA. How am I to see him? Should I knock? (On seeing Platonov.) You’re here? How a propos! I knew that you weren’t asleep yet . . . Besides, how can one sleep at a time like this? God gave us the winter for sleeping . . . Good evening, you brute of a man! (Holds out her hand.) Well? What’re you waiting for? Your hand!

PLATONOV holds out his hand.

ANNA PETROVNA. You’re not drunk?

PLATONOV. Who the hell knows! I’m either sober, or as drunk as the most confirmed alcoholic . . . And what’s come over you? Chose to take a walk to keep your weight down, most respected somnambula?

ANNA PETROVNA (sits beside him). N-yes-sir . . .

Pause.

Yes, sir, dearest Mikhail Vasilich! (Sings.) “All this gladness, all this torment . . .”⁶⁶ (Roars with laughter.) What big, wondering eyes! That’s enough, don’t be afraid, dear friend!

PLATONOV. I’m not afraid . . . for myself at any rate . . .

Pause.

You, I see, have made up your mind to do something silly . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. In my old age . . .

PLATONOV. Old women have an excuse . . . They’re senile . . . But what kind of old woman are you? You’re as young as summer in June. Your life is ahead of you.

ANNA PETROVNA. I need life now, and not ahead of me . . . And I am young, Platonov, dreadfully young! I feel . . . My youth is running alongside me like a wind! Diabolically young . . . It’s cold!

Pause.

PLATONOV (leaps up). I don’t want to understand or guess or assume . . . I don’t want any of it! Go away! Call me an ignoramus and leave me! I’m begging you! Hm . . . How come you’re looking at me that way? You should . . . you should give it some thought!

ANNA PETROVNA. I’ve already given it some thought . . .

PLATONOV. You give it some more thought, you proud, intelligent, beautiful woman! Why, what motive has brought you here?! Ah! . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. I wasn’t brought here, I rode over, my dear!

PLATONOV. With such a mind, such beauty, youth . . . you come to me? My eyes, my ears are deceiving me. . She came to conquer, to capture the fortress! I’m no fortress! It wasn’t for conquests that you came here . . . I’m weak, terribly weak! Understand that!

ANNA PETROVNA (gets up and walks over to him). Running yourself down is worse than pride . . . What’s it to be, Michel? Doesn’t this have to end somehow? You agree yourself, that . . .

PLATONOV. I won’t end it, because I never started it!

ANNA PETROVNA. Eh . . . despicable sophistry! And aren’t you ashamed to tell lies? On such a night, under such a sky . . . and you tell lies? Lying is for autumn, if you must, in the mud, in the slush, but not now, not here . . . You’re being overheard, you’re being watched . . . Look up there, you crackpot!

Pause.

Up there the stars are twinkling that you are lying . . . Enough, my dear! Be as nice as all outdoors! Don’t spoil this stillness with your own petty ego . . . Chase away your demons! (Embraces him with one arm.) There’s no one I could ever have loved as I love you! No woman you could ever have loved as you love me . . . Let’s take for ourselves nothing but this love, and all the rest, which tortures you so, let others worry about . . . (Kisses him.) Let’s take for ourselves nothing but this love . . .

PLATONOV. Odysseus deserved to have the sirens sing to him, but I’m not King Odysseus, siren!⁶⁷ (Embraces her.) If only I could make you happy! How lovely you are! But I won’t make you happy! I’ll make you what I’ve made all the other women who threw themselves at me . . . I’ll make you unhappy!

ANNA PETROVNA. What a high opinion you have of yourself! Are you really so dangerous, Don Juan? (Roars with laughter.) How good-looking you are in the moonlight! Magnificent!

PLATONOV. I know myself! The only romances with happy endings are the ones I’m not in . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. Let’s sit down . . . Over here . . . (They sit on the railroad tracks.) What else do you have to say, philosopher?

PLATONOV. If I were an honest man, I would leave you . . . I had a foreboding of this today, I foresaw it . . . Why didn’t I, scoundrel that I am, go away?

ANNA PETROVNA. Chase away your demons, Michel! Don’t poison yourself . . . After all, it’s a woman who came to you, not a beast . . . A glum face, tears in his eyes . . . Pooh! If you don’t like this, I shall leave . . . Want me to? I’ll leave, and everything will stay just as it was before . . . Shall I? (Roars with laughter.) Nincompoop! Take, snatch, grab! . . . What more do you want? Smoke me to the end like a cigarette, stub me out, cut me up into little pieces . . . Be a man! (Pushes him around.) Funny fellow!

PLATONOV. But are you really mine? Are you really meant for me? (Kisses her hands.) Go to somebody else, my dear . . . Go to a man who deserves you . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. Ah . . . Will you stop talking rubbish! After all, it’s a very simple matter: a woman has come to you, who loves you and whom you love . . . The weather is superb . . . What could be simpler? What’s the point of all this philosophy, politics? Are you trying to put on an act?

PLATONOV. Hm . . . (Gets up.) What if you came here to trifle with me, lead me down the garden path, put one over on me? . . . What then? I’m not available for part-time jobs . . . I won’t let myself be toyed with! You won’t be able to pay me off with pennies, as you’ve paid off scores of others! . . . I’m too expensive for short-term affairs . . . (Clutches his head.) To respect, to love you and at the same time . . . the triviality, vulgarity, a philistine, plebeian game!

ANNA PETROVNA (walks up to him). You love me, respect me, then why are you, you restless soul, haggling with me, talking this filth to me? Why all these “if”s? I love you . . . I told you, and you know yourself that I love you . . . What more do you want? Serenity is what I want . . . (Puts her head on his chest.) Serenity . . . Understand me at last, Platonov! I want to rest . . . To forget, and not need anything else . . . You don’t know . . . You don’t know how oppressive my life is, and I . . . want to live!

PLATONOV. But I’m not able to provide serenity!

ANNA PETROVNA. Just try and stop philosophizing! . . . Live! Everything lives, everything moves . . . Life is all around . . . Let us live too! Tomorrow solve the problems but today, tonight, live, live . . . Live, Michel!

Pause.

Actually, why am I warbling away to you? (Roars with laughter.) Tell me, please! I’m singing, while he’s giving me a hard time.

PLATONOV (grasps her by the hand). Listen . . . For the last time . . . As a man of honor I’m telling you . . . Go away! For the last time! Go away!

ANNA PETROVNA. You mean it? (Roars with laughter.) You’re not joking? . . . You’re being silly, pal! Now I’ll never leave you! (Throws her arms around his neck.) You hear? For the last time I’m telling you: I won’t let you go! Come what may, no matter what! Even if you destroy me, even if you ruin yourself, I’ll have you! Live! Tra-ta-ta-ta . . . ra-ra-ra . . . Why tear yourself away, you crackpot? You’re mine! Now preach your philosophy!

PLATONOV. Once more . . . As a man of honor . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. If I can’t get you honorably, I’ll take you by force . . . Love me, if you do love me, but don’t behave like a fool! Tra-ta-ta-ta . . . “The bells peal out in victory . . .”⁶⁸ You’re mine, you’re mine! (Tosses a black kerchief over his head.) You’re mine!

PLATONOV. Yours? (Laughs.) You shallow woman! You aren’t doing yourself any good . . . There’ll be tears, after all! I won’t be your husband, because you weren’t meant for me and I won’t let myself be toyed with . . . We’ll see who’ll toy with whom . . . We’ll see . . . You’ll be in tears . . . Let’s go, shall we?

ANNA PETROVNA (roars with laughter). Allons!⁶⁹ (Takes him by the arm.) Wait . . . Someone’s coming. Let’s stand behind that tree a while . . . (Hides behind the tree.) Someone in a frockcoat, not a peasant . . . Why don’t you write editorials for the newspapers? You’d be great at it . . . No fooling.

Enter TRILETSKY.

SCENE VII

The same and TRILETSKY.

TRILETSKY (walks toward the school and knocks on the window). Sasha! Little sister! Sashurka!

SASHA (opens the window). Who’s there? Is that you, Kolya? What’d you want?

TRILETSKY. You’re not in bed yet? Let me spend the night, dear heart!

SASHA. Make yourself at home . . .

TRILETSKY. You can put me in the classroom . . . But for pity’s sake don’t let Misha find out that I’m sleeping over: he and his philosophy won’t let me get a wink! My head’s swimming something awful . . . I’m seeing double . . .I stand in front of one window, but it looks as though there’s two: which should I crawl through? Call an inquest! Good thing I’m not married! If I were married, I’d think I was a bigamist . . . I’m seeing double! You’ve got two heads on two necks! By the way, incidentally . . . Over by that felled oak, the one by the river—you know it? — I blew my nose, ladybird, and forty rubles dropped out of my handkerchief . . . Pick them up, dear heart, first thing tomorrow . . . Finders keepers.

SASHA. As soon as day breaks the carpenters will pick them up . . . What a careless person you are, Kolya! Ah, yes! I almost forgot . . . The shopkeeper’s wife came by and asked urgently that you go to her place as soon as possible . . . Her husband suddenly took ill . . . Some sort of stroke . . . Go quickly!

TRILETSKY. Bless and blast him! I’m not up to it . . . I’ve got shooting pains in my own head, and my belly . . . (Crawls through the window.) Please step aside . . .

SASHA. Hurry and climb in! You’ve caught your foot on me . . . (Shuts the window.)

PLATONOV. Who the hell’s coming now!

ANNA PETROVNA. Wait.

PLATONOV. Let go of me. I’ll step out, if I want to! Who is it?

ANNA PETROVNA. Petrin and Shcherbuk.

Enter PETRIN and SHCHERBUK, without their frockcoats, staggering. The former is wearing a black tophat, the latter a gray one.

SCENE VIII

VENGEROVICH JR. (upstage), PLATONOV, ANNA PETROVNA, PETRIN, and SHCHERBUK.

PETRIN. Vivat, Petrin, bachelor of laws! Hooray! Where’s the road? Where’ve we got to? What is this? (Roars with laughter.) This, Pavochka, is the Public School System! This is where they teach fools to forget God and swindle people! That’s where we’ve wound up . . . Hm . . . So, sir . . . Here, pal, is where that . . . what’s his name, damn it? — Platoshka lives, a civilized man . . . Pava, where’s Platoshka? Give me your opinion, don’t be shy! Singing a duet with the General’s lady? Ugh, Lord, Thy will be done . . . (Shouts.) Glagolyev is a fool! She told him to take a hike, and he went and had a stroke!

SHCHERBUK. I want to go home, Gerasya . . . I want to go to bed, like crazy! They can all go to hell, the lot of ‘em!

PETRIN. And where are our frockcoats, Pava? We’ll go spend the night at the stationmaster’s, but we’ve got no frockcoats . . . (Roars with laughter.) Did those hussies take ‘em off us? Ah, you, lover boy, lover boy! . . . The hussies made off with the frockcoats . . . (Sighs.) Eh, Pava, Pavochka . . . You had any sham-pane? I guess you’re drunk now? And whose were you drinking? You were drinking what’s mine . . . You were drinking what’s mine, and eating what’s mine . . . That gown on the general’s lady is mine, the stockings on Seryozhka are mine . . . all mine! I’ve given them everything! Down to the wobbly heels on my worn-out boots . . . I’ve given them everything, squandered everything on them, and what have I got to show for it? Ask me, what have I got to show? An up-yours and a snub . . . Yes . . . The footman at the table passes me by and tries to jostle me with his elbow, she herself treats me like a swine . . .

PLATONOV. I’ve had enough of this!

ANNA PETROVNA. Hold on . . . They’ll be leaving right away! What a beast that Petrin is! The way he lies! And that old dishrag believes him . . .

PETRIN. That kike gets more respect . . . A kike at the head of the table, and us down at the end . . . And why? Because the kike gives ‘em more money . . . And on his brow are etched the fatal words: to be sold at public auction!

SHCHERBUK. That’s from Nekrasov⁷⁰. . . They say Nekrasov’s dead . . .

PETRIN. All right then! Not another kopek! You hear? Not a kopek! Let the old man spin in fury in his grave . . . Let ‘im take it out on . . . the grave-diggers! Over and done with! I’ll call in the I.O.U.s! Tomorrow! I’ll shove your nose in the muck, you ingrate!

SHCHERBUK. She’s a count, a baron! She’s got a general’s face! While I’m . . . a Kalmuck⁷¹ and nothing more . . . Let me worship Dunyasha . . . What a bumpy road! There should be a surfaced road here with telegraph poles . . . with harness-bells . . . Jingle, jingle, jingle . . .

They exit.

SCENE IX

The same less PETRIN and SHCHERBUK.

ANNA PETROVNA (comes out from behind the tree). Have they gone?

PLATONOV. They’ve gone . . .

ANNA PETROVNA (takes him by the shoulders). Shall we wend our way?

PLATONOV. Let’s go! I’ll go, but if you had any idea how little I want to go! . . . I’m not going to you, but to the devil, who is hammering on the back of my skull: go on, go on! So understand this! If my conscience won’t accept your love, it’s only because I’m absolutely certain that you are making an irreparable mistake . . .

SASHA (in the window). Misha, Misha! Where are you?

PLATONOV. Damn it!

SASHA (in the window). Ah . . . I see you . . . Who’s that with you? (Bursts out laughing.) Anna Petrovna! I barely recognized you! You’re so black! What are you wearing? Good evening!

ANNA PETROVNA. Good evening, Aleksandra Ivanovna!

SASHA. You’re in a riding habit? Been out for a canter, I suppose? What a wonderful idea! It’s such a nice night! Let’s you and I go too, Misha!

ANNA PETROVNA. I’ve had enough of it, Aleksandra Ivanovna . . . I’m going home now . . .

SASHA. In that case, of course . . . Come inside, Misha! . . . I really don’t know what to do! Kolya’s feeling bad . . .

PLATONOV. Which Kolya?

SASHA. My brother Nikolay . . . He had an awful lot to drink, I guess . . . Please come in! You pay us a visit too, Anna Petrovna! I’ll run down to the cellar and get some cream . . . We’ll each have a glass . . . The cream’s nice and cold!

ANNA PETROVNA. Thank you . . . I’m going home now . . . (To Platonov.) Go ahead . . . I’ll wait . . .

SASHA. I’d be running down to the cellar anyway . . . Go on, Misha! (Disappears.)

PLATONOV. I completely forgot that she existed . . . She trusts me, that one, trusts me like?! Go on . . . I’ll put her to bed and come over . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. Quick as you can . . .

PLATONOV. Almost had a scene! Good-bye for now . . . (Exits into the schoolhouse.)

SCENE X

ANNA PETROVNA, VENGEROVICH JR., and then OSIP.

ANNA PETROVNA. What a shock . . . I’d completely forgot that she existed too . . . .

Pause.

It’s cruel . . . Still, it’s not the first time he’s cheated on her, poor girl! Oh dear, oh dear . . . One sin drives out the other! Nobody but God will know! Not the first time . . . All this hole-in-corner business! Now I’ve got to wait till he puts her to bed! . . . A full hour will crawl by, if not more . . .

VENGEROVICH JR. (moves to her). Anna Petrovna . . . (Falls on his knees before her.) Anna Petrovna . . . (Seizes her hand.) Anna!

ANNA PETROVNA. Who’s that? Who’re you? (Stoops down to him.) Who is it? You, Isak Abramych? Is it you? What’s wrong with you?

VENGEROVICH JR. Anna! (Kisses her hand.)

ANNA PETROVNA. Go away! It isn’t nice! You’re a grown man!

VENGEROVICH JR. Anna!

ANNA PETROVNA. I’ve had it with your clawing at me! Get out of here! (Shoves him by the shoulder.)

VENGEROVICH JR. (sprawls on the ground). Ugh! It’s stupid . . . stupid!

OSIP (enters). Comedians! That wouldn’t happen to be you, your excellency? (Bows.) What brings you to our neck o’ the woods?

ANNA PETROVNA. Is that you, Osip? Greetings! Were you prying? Spying? (Takes him by the chin.) Saw it all?

OSIP. All.

ANNA PETROVNA. Then how come you’re so pale? Eh? (Laughs.) You in love with me, Osip?

OSIP. If you say so . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. In love?

OSIP. I can’t figure you out . . . (Weeps.) I thought you were a saint . . . If you had ordered me to jump in the fire, I’d’ve jumped in the fire . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. Then why didn’t you walk to Kiev?

OSIP. What do I care about Kiev? I thought you were a saint . . . For me there were no saints except you . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. That’ll do, you nitwit . . . Bring me some more little hares . . . I am accepting gifts again . . . Good-bye for now . . . Come to me tomorrow, and I’ll give you some money: you can take the train to Kiev . . . You going? Good-bye . . . Don’t you dare lay a finger on Platonov on my land! You hear me?

OSIP. I don’t take orders from you any more . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. You don’t say so, goodness me! You don’t insist that I enter a nunnery? As if it’s his business! . . . Well, well . . . He’s crying . . . Are you a little boy or what? That’ll do . . . When he’s about to come to me, fire a shot! . . .

OSIP. At him?

ANNA PETROVNA. No, in the air . . . Good-bye, Osip! A loud shot! Will you fire it?

OSIP. I will.

ANNA PETROVNA. There’s a clever boy . . .

OSIP. Only he won’t go to you . . . He’s with his wife now.

ANNA PETROVNA. That’s just talk . . . Good-bye, cutthroat! (Runs out.)

SCENE XI

OSIP and VENGEROVICH JR.

OSIP (flings his cap on the ground and weeps). It’s over! It’s all over, and the hell with it!

VENGEROVICH JR (on the ground). What is he saying?

OSIP. I saw all that stuff, I heard it! My eyes popped out of my head, somebody was pounding a great big hammer in my ears! I heard it all! How can I keep from killing him, when I want to tear him to shreds, crush ‘im . . . . (Sits on the embankment with his back to the schoolhouse.) Got to kill him . . .

VENGEROVICH JR. What’s he saying? Kill whom?

SCENE XII

The same, PLATONOV and TRILETSKY.

PLATONOV (pushes Triletsky out of the school). Get out! Please head for the shopkeeper’s right this minute! March!

TRILETSKY (stretches). I’d rather you rousted me out with a big stick tomorrow than wake me up today!

PLATONOV. You’re a scoundrel, Nikolay, a scoundrel! You understand?

TRILETSKY. What can you do? Doesn’t that mean that’s how God made me?

PLATONOV. And what if the shopkeeper’s already dead?

TRILETSKY. If he’s dead, then let him rest in peace, and if he’s still carrying on the struggle for existence, there’s no point in you saying these awful things . . . I will not go to the shopkeeper’s! I want to get some sleep!

PLATONOV. You will go, you pig! You will go! (Pushes him.) I won’t let you sleep! What’s wrong with you, in fact? What are you making of yourself? Why don’t you do something? What’s the point of spending all your money on food, wasting the best days of your life and loafing around?

TRILETSKY. You’re a pest . . . What right have you got, pal . . . a regular chigger!

PLATONOV. What kind of creature are you, please let me know? This is awful! What are you living for? Why don’t you study science? Why don’t you keep up your scientific education? Science, why don’t you study it, animal?

TRILETSKY. We shall discuss this interesting subject some time when I ‘m not sleepy, but for now let me sleep . . . (Scratches himself.) What the hell! If it’s not one thing, it’s another: “get out of bed, you skunk!” Hm . . . Code of ethics . . . Damn them all, those codes of ethics!

PLATONOV. What God do you serve, you strange creature? What kind of man are you? No, we’ll never be of any use! No, not us!

TRILETSKY. Listen, Mikhail Vasilich, who gave you the right to lay your chilly big bear paws on another person’s heart? Your tactlessness is beyond belief, pal!

PLATONOV. Nothing will come of us, except weeds out of the earth! We’re a lost tribe! We’re not worth a tinker’s dam! (Weeps.) Not one single person to gladden my eyes! It’s all so vulgar, filthy, shabby . . . Go away, Nikolay! Go on!

TRILETSKY (shrugs). You’re crying?

Pause.

I’ll go to the shopkeeper! You hear me? I’m on my way!

PLATONOV. Do what you like!

TRILETSKY. I’m on my way! Here I go . . .

PLATONOV (stamps his feet). Get out, go away!

TRILETSKY. Fine . . . Go to bed and sleep, Michel! It’s not worth getting excited about! Good-bye! (Starts to go and stops.) Just one word in parting . . . Advise all preachers, yourself included, that the preacher should practice what he preaches . . . If you can’t rejoice in the sight of yourself, don’t ask me to gladden your eyes, which, incidentally, are very attractive in the moonlight! They shine in your head like little shards of green glass . . . And another thing . . . There’s no point in talking to you . . . You should get a sound thrashing, have your bones broken, I should turn my back on you forever over that girl . . . Somebody should give you the talking-to you’ve never had in all your born days! But . . . I’m not up to it! Duels are not my thing! Lucky for you! .

Pause.

Good-bye. (Exits.)

SCENE XIII

PLATONOV, VENGEROVICH JR., and OSIP.

PLATONOV (clutches his head). I’m not the only one like this, they’re all like this! All of them! Where are the real people, my God? What am I thinking! Don’t go to her! She isn’t yours! She’s somebody’s else property! You’ll ruin her life, corrupt her forever! Go away from here! No! I will go to her, I will live here, I will get drunk, act like a heathen . . . Lechers, fools, drunkards . . . Nothing but drunkards! A stupid mother breeds with a drunken father! Father . . . mother! Father . . . O, I hope your bones are spinning in your graves, for the way you drunkenly and stupidly messed up my life!

Pause.

No . . . What was I saying? God forgive me . . . Rest in peace . . . (Stumbles over Vengerovich lying on the ground.) Who’s that?

VENGEROVICH JR. (gets to his knees). A wild, hideous, disgraceful night!

PLATONOV. Aha? . . . Go and write down this wild night in your idiotic diary with ink from your father’s conscience! Get out of here!

VENGEROVICH JR. Yes . . . I will make a note of it! (Exits.)

PLATONOV. What was he doing here? Eavesdropping? (to Osip.) Who’re you? Why are you here, my loose cannon? Eavesdropping too? Get out of here! Or wait . . . Go after Vengerovich and take away his chain!

OSIP (gets up). What chain?

PLATONOV. There’s a gold watch-chain dangling across his chest! Go after him and take it! Step lively! (Stamps his feet.) Quick, or you won’t catch up to him! He’s running now to the village like a madman!

OSIP. And you’re off to the General’s lady?

PLATONOV. Hurry up, scoundrel! Don’t beat him up, just take the chain! Go on! What are you standing here for? Run!

OSIP runs out.

(After a pause.) To go . . . Or not to go? (Sighs.) Go . . . I’ll go and strike up that long, basically boring, ghastly song . . . I used to think I was clad in impenetrable armor! And what happens? A woman says one word, and a storm starts brewing inside me . . . Most people go distracted over world crises, but for me it’s a woman! My whole life—it’s a woman! Caesar had his Rubicon,⁷² I have a woman . . . A vacuous skirt-chaser! It wouldn’t be so pitiful if I didn’t fight it, but I do fight it! Weak, weak to the nth degree!

SASHA (in the window). Misha, are you there?

PLATONOV. Yes, my poor treasure!

SASHA. Come inside!

PLATONOV. No, Sasha! I want to stay in the fresh air. My head is splitting. Go to sleep, my angel!

SASHA. Good night! (Closes the window.)

PLATONOV. It’s tough to cheat on someone who believes in you unconditionally! I’m in a sweat and flushed . . . I’ll go! (Starts to go.)

KATYA and YAKOV come to meet him.

SCENE XIV

PLATONOV, KATYA, and YAKOV.

KATYA (to Yakov). Wait here . . . I’ll only be a minute . . . I’m just getting a book . . . Don’t leave, mind you! (Goes to meet Platonov.)

PLATONOV (on seeing Katya). You? What do you want?

KATYA (alarmed). Ah . . . there you are, sir! I have to see you.

PLATONOV. Is that you, Katya? All of ‘em from the mistresses to the maids inclusive, all night owls! What’s up with you?

KATYA (quietly). The mistress sent you a letter.

PLATONOV. What?

KATYA. The mistress sent you a letter!

PLATONOV. Are you raving? What mistress?

KATYA (more quietly). Sofya Yegorovna . . .

PLATONOV. What? Are you crazy? Take a cold shower! Get out of here!

KATYA (gives him the letter). Here it is!

PLATONOV (snatches the letter). A letter . . . a letter . . . What sort of letter? Couldn’t you have brought it tomorrow? (Unseals it.) How am I supposed to read it?

KATYA. The lady’d like a reply real soon . . .

PLATONOV (lights a match). The devil brought the bunch of you here! (Reads.) “Am taking first step. Come, let’s take it together. Am reborn. Come and take me. Yours.” What the hell . . . It’s some sort of telegram! “Will wait till four in gazebo near four pillars. My drunken husband out hunting with young Glagolyev. All yours S.” That’s all I needed! My God! That’s all I needed! (To Katya.) What’re you looking at?

KATYA. How can I help looking, since I got eyes?

PLATONOV. Gouge out your eyes! This letter’s for me?

KATYA. You, sir . . .

PLATONOV. Liar! Get out of here!

KATYA. Very good, sir.

Exits with YAKOV.

SCENE XV

PLATONOV (alone).

PLATONOV (after a pause). There they are, the consequences . . . You’ve landed in it for good! You’ve corrupted a woman, a living creature, just like that, for no good reason, no need at all . . . Damn my tongue! It’s led to this . . . What to do now? Come on, smart guy, think up something! Curse yourself now, tear out your hair . . . (Thinks.) Go away! I’ll go away right now and never dare show my face here until doomsday! March away from here to the four corners of the earth, and bend to the iron rod of necessity and hard work! Better a life of hardship than one with this in the background!

Pause.

I’ll go away . . . But . . . could it be that Sofya actually loves me? Really? (Laughs.) What for? How obscure and strange everything is in this world!

Pause.

Strange . . . Could it be that this beautiful, marmorial woman with the wonderful hair is capable of falling in love with a penniless crackpot? Can she love me? Unlikely! (Lights a match and peruses the letter.) Yes . . . Me? Sofya? (Roars with laughter.) She loves me? (Clutches his chest.) Happiness! This is real happiness! This is my happiness! It’s a new life, with new characters, new scenery! I’ll go! March to the gazebo near the four pillars! Wait for me, my Sofya! You were mine and will be again! (Starts to go and stops.) I won’t go! (Walks back.) Tear apart my family? (Shouts.) Sasha, I’m coming in! Open up! (Clutches his head.) I won’t go, I won’t go . . . I won’t go!

Pause.

I will go! (Starts to go.) Go, destroy, trample, defile . . . (Runs into Voinit-sev and Glagolyev Jr.)

SCENE XVI

PLATONOV, VOINITSEV, and GLAGOLYEV JR.

VOINITSEV and GLAGOLYEV JR. have rifles over their shoulders.

VOINITSEV. There he is! There he is! (Embraces Platonov.) So? A-hunting we shall go!

PLATONOV. No . . . Wait a bit!

VOINITSEV. Why tear yourself away, friend? (Roars with laughter.) Drunk, I’m drunk! For the first time in my life I’m drunk! My God, I’m so happy! My friend! (Embraces Platonov.) Shall we go? She sent me away . . . Asked me to shoot some game for her . . .

GLAGOLYEV JR. Let’s get going! It’s already light . . .

VOINITSEV. Did you hear what we’re planning? How’s this for a brilliant idea? We’re thinking of putting on Hamlet! Word of honor! We’ll put on such a show they won’t know what the hell hit ‘em! (Roars with laughter.) You’re so pale . . . Are you drunk too?

PLATONOV. Leave me alone . . . I’m drunk.

VOINITSEV. Hold on . . . It’s my idea! Tomorrow we’ll start painting the sets! I’m Hamlet, Sophie is Ophelia, you are Claudius, Triletsky is Horatio . . . I’m so happy! And contented! Shakespeare, Sophie, you and maman! What more do I need! Except for some Glinka.⁷³ That’s all I need! I’m Hamlet . . .

And to this villain,

Forgetting shame as woman, wife and mother,

How could you yield yourself! . . .⁷⁴

(Roars with laughter.) How’s that for a Hamlet?

PLATONOV (tears himself away and starts to run). You bastard! (Runs out.)

VOINITSEV. Toodle-oo! He’s drunk! In a major way! (Roars with laughter.) How do y’like that friend of ours?

GLAGOLYEV JR. Stewed to the gills . . . Let’s go!

VOINITSEV. Let’s go . . . “And were you my friend, perchance⁷⁵. . . Ophelia! O nymph, in thy orisons be all my sins remember’d!”

They leave.

The sound of a passing train is heard.

SCENE XVII

OSIP and then SASHA.

OSIP (runs in with the watch chain). Where is he? (Looks around.) Where is he? He’s gone? He’s not here? (Whistles.) Mikhail Vasilich! Mikhail Vasilich! Hey!

Pause.

No? (Runs over to the window and knocks on it.) Mikhail Vasilich! Mikhail Vasilich! (Breaks the glass.)

SASHA (in the window). Who’s there?

OSIP. Call Mikhail Vasilich! Quick!

SASHA. What’s happened? He’s not home!

OSIP (shouts). No? Went to the General’s lady, I guess! The General’s lady was here and summoned him to her! All is lost, Aleksandra Ivanovna! He’s gone to the General’s lady, damn him!

SASHA. Liar!

OSIP. As God is my judge, to the General’s lady! I heard and saw it all! They were hugging over there, kissing . . .

SASHA. Liar!

OSIP. May my father, may my mother never get into heaven if I’m lying! To the General’s lady! Left his wife! Chase him, Aleskandra Ivanovna! No, no . . . All is lost! And now you’re unhappy! (Takes the rifle from his shoulder.) She gave me one last order, and I’ll carry it out for one last time! (Shoots into the air.) Let her meet him! (Throws the rifle on the ground.) I’ll cut his throat, Aleksandra Ivanovna! (Leaps over the embankment and sits on the stump.) Don’t worry, Aleksandra Ivanovna . . . don’t worry . . . I’ll cut his throat . . . Never fear . . .

Lights appear.

SASHA (enters in a nightgown, with her hair undone). He left . . . He cheated on me . . . (Sobs.) I’m lost . . . Kill me, Lord, after this . . .

A train whistle.

I’ll throw myself under the locomotive . . . I don’t want to live . . . (Lies on the tracks.) He cheated on me . . . Kill me, mother of God!

Pause.

Forgive me, Lord . . . Forgive me, Lord . . . (Screams.) Kolya! (Gets to her knees.) My son! Save me! Save me! Here comes the train! . . . Save me!

OSIP comes galloping up to Sasha.

(Falls on to the tracks.) Ah . . .

OSIP (picks her up and carries her into the schoolhouse). I’ll cut his throat . . . Don’t you worry!

The train comes through.

End of Act Two

ACT THREE

A room in the schoolhouse. Doors right and left. A cupboard with crockery, a chest of drawers, an old upright piano, chairs, a sofa upholstered in oilcloth, a guitar, etc. Total chaos.

SCENE I

SOFYA YEGOROVNA and PLATONOV.

PLATONOV is asleep on the sofa. His face is covered with a straw hat.

SOFYA YEGOROVNA (rouses Platonov). Platonov! Mikhail Vasilich! (Shakes him.) Wake up! Michel! (Takes the hat off his face.) How can you put such a filthy hat on your face? Feh, what a slob, an unholy mess! Lost his shirt-studs, sleeps with his chest bare, unwashed, in a dirty night-shirt . . . Michel! I’m talking to you! Get up!

PLATONOV. Huh?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Wake up!

PLATONOV. Later . . . Fine . . .

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. That’s enough of that! Will you please get up!

PLATONOV. Who’s that? (Gets up.) Is that you, Sofya?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA (holds her watch before his eyes). Take a look!

PLATONOV. Fine . . . (Lies down again.)

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Platonov!

PLATONOV. Well, what’d you want? (Gets up.) Well?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Look at the time!

PLATONOV. So what? Sofya, there you go again with your whims and caprices!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Yes, here I go again with my whims and caprices, Mikhail Vasilich! Please look at the time! What time is it now?

PLATONOV. Half past seven.

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Half past seven . . . So you’ve forgot the agenda?

PLATONOV. What agenda? Express yourself more clearly, Sofya! I’m in no mood today for jokes or solving moronic riddles!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. What agenda? So you have forgot? What’s wrong with you? Your eyes are red, you’re all rumpled . . . Are you sick?

Pause.

The agenda: for both of us to be at the cabin at six o’clock . . . You forgot? Six o’clock has come and gone . . .

PLATONOV. Anything else?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA (sits next to him). Aren’t you ashamed? Why didn’t you come? You gave your word of honor . . .

PLATONOV. I would have kept my word, if I hadn’t fallen asleep . . . Didn’t you see I was asleep? So why are you pestering me?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA (shakes her head). What an unreliable person you are! Why are you scowling at me? Unreliable in regard to me, at least . . . Think about it . . . Have you ever once shown up on time at our rendezvous? How many times have you failed to keep your word of honor to me?

PLATONOV. Pleased to hear it!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. It’s not clever, Platonov, it’s disgraceful! Why do you stop being noble, intelligent, being yourself, whenever I’m with you? What’s the point of this low-class behavior, unworthy of the man responsible for the salvation of my inner life? When I’m around you act like some kind of freak . . . No affectionate glance, or tender remark, not a single word of love! I come to you — and you reek of wine, you’re dressed appallingly, your hair uncombed, your answers are rude and irrelevant . . .

PLATONOV (leaps up and paces up and down the stage). And she’s off!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Are you drunk?

PLATONOV. What do you care?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. That’s so charming! (Weeps.)

PLATONOV. Women!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Don’t talk to me about women! A thousand times a day you talk to me about them! I’m sick and tired of it! (Gets up.) What are you doing to me? Do you want to be the death of me? I’m sick because of you! Day and night my chest aches thanks to your good graces! Don’t you see it? Don’t you want to know about it? You hate me! If you loved me, you wouldn’t dare treat me this way! I’m not some kind of simple village wench for you, some uncouth, coarse soul! I won’t allow any . . . (Sits down.) For heaven’s sake! (Weeps.)

PLATONOV. That’s enough!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Why are you killing me? It’s barely three weeks since that night, and I’m already thin as a rake! Where is the happiness you promised me? When is this treatment going to end? Think about it, you clever, noble, honorable man! Think about it, Platonov, before it’s too late! Think about it right now . . . Sit down on this chair, clear your mind and think about one thing only: what are you doing to me?

PLATONOV. I’m not able to think.

Pause.

You think about it yourself! (Walks over to her.) You think about it! I deprived you of your family, your happy ending, your future . . . What for? To what end? I robbed you, like your worst enemy! What can I give you? How can I repay you for your sacrifices? This illicit affair spells your unhappiness, your downfall, your ruin! (Sits down.)

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. I’ve become intimate with him, and he dares call our relationship an illicit affair!

PLATONOV. Oh dear . . . Now is not the time to nitpick every word! You’ve got your view of that relationship, I’ve got mine . . . I ruined you, that’s all there is to it! And not just you . . . Wait till you hear the tune your husband sings when he finds out!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. You’re afraid that he’ll make life unpleasant for you?

PLATONOV. That’s not what I’m afraid of . . . I’m afraid that we might be the death of him . . .

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Then why, you craven coward, did you come to me, if you knew that we might be the death of him?

PLATONOV. Please, don’t be so . . . over-emotional! You don’t impress me with those chest tones . . . And why did you . . . Anyway . . . (waves his hand in dismissal) talking to you always ends up in a flood of tears . . .

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Yes, yes . . . I never used to weep until I became intimate with you! Be afraid, tremble! He knows already!

PLATONOV. What?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. He knows already!

PLATONOV (sits up). He does?!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. He . . . This morning I talked things over with him . . .

PLATONOV. Jokes . . .

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. You’ve turned pale? You should be hated, not loved! I’ve gone crazy . . . I don’t know why . . . why do I love you? He knows already! (Plucks him by the sleeve.) So tremble, tremble! He knows everything! I swear to you on my honor that he knows everything! Tremble!

PLATONOV. That’s impossible . . . It can’t be possible!

Pause.

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. He knows everything . . . Didn’t it have to be done sooner or later?

PLATONOV. Why are you trembling? How did you explain it to him? What did you say?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. I explained to him that I had already . . . that I cannot . . .

PLATONOV. What’d he do?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. He was like you . . . He panicked! And how insufferable your face looks at this moment!

PLATONOV. What did he say?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. At first he thought I was joking, but when I had convinced him of the contrary, he turned pale, began to stagger, began to cry, began to grovel on his knees . . . He wore the exact same disgusting expression that you have now!

PLATONOV. What have you done, you foul creature?! (Clutches his head.) You’ve killed him! And you can, and you dare say this so coolly and calmly? You’ve killed him! Did you . . . mention my name?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Yes . . . How else?

PLATONOV. What’d he do?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA (leaps up). You should be ashamed, at long last, Platonov! You don’t know what you’re saying! The way you see it, I suppose, there was no cause to tell him anything?

PLATONOV. There wasn’t! (Lies on the sofa face down.)

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. You’re a man of honor, what are you saying?

PLATONOV. It would have been more honorable not to say anything than to kill him! We’ve killed him! He started crying, groveled on his knees . . . Ah! (Leaps up.) Unhappy man! If it hadn’t been for you, he would never have found out about our relationship so long as he lived!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. I was obliged to have it out with him! I’m an honest woman!

PLATONOV. You know what you did by having it out? You’ve separated from your husband forever!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Yes, forever . . . How else? Platonov, you’re starting to talk like a . . . louse!

PLATONOV. Forever . . . What will become of you when we break up? And we’re going to break up any minute now! You’ll be the first to see your mistake! You’ll be the first to open your eyes and walk out on me! (Waves his hand in dismissal.) Anyhow . . . do whatever you want, Sofya! You’re more honest and more intelligent than I am, take charge of this whole tiresome mess! You deal with it! Resurrect me if you can, put me back on my feet! Only hurry up, for God’s sake, or else I’ll go out of my mind!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Tomorrow we’ll go away from here.

PLATONOV. Yes, yes, we’ll go away . . . Only hurry up!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. I have to get you away from here . . . I wrote to my mother about you. We’ll stay with her . . .

PLATONOV. Wherever you like! . . . You deal with it any way you can!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Michel! This really is a new life . . . Understand this! . . . Listen to me, Michel! Let everything be the way I see it! I have a clearer head than you do! Believe me, my dear! I will put you back on your feet! I’ll take you where there is more light, where there’s none of this muck, this dust, indolence, this filthy nightshirt . . . I’ll make a man of you . . . I shall make you happy! Do understand . . . I’ll make a worker of you! We shall be real people, Michel! We shall eat the bread we earn, we shall run with sweat, we shall develop callouses . . . (Puts her head on his chest.) I shall work . . .

PLATONOV. Where will you work? There are women a lot different from you, a lot stronger, and even so they roll around like bales of hay, with nothing to do! You don’t know how to work, besides what’ll you work at? In our present situation, Sonya, it would be more use to analyze things clearly, and not console oneself with illusions . . . However, you know best!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. You’ll see! There are women who are a lot different from me, but I am stronger than they are . . . Believe me, Michel! I shall light your way! You resurrected me, and all my life I shall be grateful . . . Shall we leave tomorrow? Really? I’ll go and start packing for the trip right now . . . You pack too . . . And come to the cabin at ten o’clock and bring your things . . . Will you come?

PLATONOV. I will.

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Give me your word of honor that you will come!

PLATONOV. Ah-ah-ah . . . I just said so!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Give me your word of honor!

PLATONOV. Word of honor . . . Swear to God! . . . We’ll go!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA (laughs). I believe you, I do! Come even earlier . . . I’ll be ready before ten o’clock . . . And we’ll ride away tonight! We’ll start to live, Michel! You don’t understand your own happiness, you silly man! This really is our happiness, our life! . . . Tomorrow you will be another man, a fresh one, a new one! We shall breathe new air, new blood will flow in our veins . . . (Laughs out loud.) Off with you, decrepit man! Here’s my hand! Squeeze it hard! (Offers her hand.)

PLATONOV kisses her hand.

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Be sure to come, you big clumsy oaf! I shall be waiting . . . Don’t brood . . . Good-bye for now! It won’t take long to pack! . . . (Kisses him.)

PLATONOV. Good-bye . . . Was that eleven or ten?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Ten . . . Come even earlier! Good-bye! Dress more respectably for the trip . . . (Laughs.) I’ve got a little money . . . We’ll have supper on the way . . . Good-bye! I’ll go and pack . . . Be happy! I’ll be waiting at ten o’clock! (Runs out.)

SCENE II

PLATONOV (alone).

PLATONOV (after a pause.) The same old tune . . . I’ve heard it a million times . . .

Pause.

I’ll write letters to him and Sasha . . . Let them have a good cry, forgive and forget! . . . Good-bye, Voinitsevka! Good-bye, all! Sasha and the General’s lady . . . (Opens the cupboard.) Tomorrow I’ll be a new man . . . Brand spanking new! What’ll I put my shirts in? I haven’t got a suitcase . . . (Pours wine.) Good-bye, schoolhouse! (Drinks.) Good-bye, my little brats! Your wicked, but soft-hearted Mikhail Vasilich is disappearing! Did I just have a drink? What for? I won’t drink any more . . . This is the last time . . . I’ll sit down and write to Sasha . . . (Lies down on the sofa.) Sofya sincerely believes . . . Blessed are the believers! . . . Laugh, General’s lady! And the General’s lady actually will have a good laugh! She’ll die laughing! . . . Yes! I think there was a letter from her . . . Where is it? (Gets a letter from the windowsill.) The hundredth letter, if not the two-hundredth since that crazy night . . . (Reads.) “Platonov, since you have not answered my letters, you are a tactless, cruel, stupid ignoramus! If you ignore this letter too, and do not pay me a visit, then, come what may, I shall pay you a visit, damn you! I have been waiting all day. It’s stupid, Platonov! Someone might think you were ashamed of that night. Let’s forget it, if that’s the case! Sergey and Sofya are behaving abominably—the honeymoon, sticky with wild honey, is over. And all because a certain silver-tongued little dunderhead doesn’t visit them. You are the little dunderhead. See you soon!”

Pause.

What handwriting! Precise, bold . . . Commas, periods, perfect spelling— everything in its place . . . A woman who can write correctly is a rare phenomenon . . .

Enter MARKO.

I’ll have to write her a letter, otherwise she’ll come here, heaven help us . . . (On seeing Marko.) A phenomenon . . .

SCENE III

PLATONOV and MARKO.

PLATONOV. Please come in! Who are you looking for? (Gets up.)

MARKO. Your honor . . . (Pulls a summons out of his satchel.) A little summons for your grace . . .

PLATONOV. Ah . . . How nice. What kind of summons? Who sent you?

MARKO. Ivan Andreich, the justice of the peace, sir . . .

PLATONOV. Hm . . . the justice? What does he want with me? Hand it over! (Takes the summons.) I don’t understand . . . An invitation to a christening or what? Fertile as a fruit fly, the old sinner! (Reads.) “In his status as defendant charged with an offense against Mariya Yefimovna, daughter of state councillor Grekov.” (Roars with laughter.) Why, I’ll be damned! Bravo! I’ll be damned! Bravo, essence of bedbug! When will the case come to trial? Day after tomorrow? I’ll be there, I’ll be there . . . Tell them I’ll be there, old-timer . . . A clever girl, honest to God, a clever girl! Attagirl! Should have done it a long time ago!

MARKO. Please affix your signature, sir!

PLATONOV. My signature? Happy to . . . Pal, you look an awful lot like a wounded duck!

MARKO. Not at all, sir . . .

PLATONOV (sits at the table). What do you look like then?

MARKO. I look like God’s image, sir . . .

PLATONOV. If you say so . . . Served under Tsar Nicholas?⁷⁶

MARKO. Right you are . . . After the Sebastopol campaign⁷⁷ I was retired. Active duty over, I spent four years in the infirmary . . . A non-com . . . I was in the artillery, sir . . .

PLATONOV. If you say so . . . Were the cannons any good?

MARKO. Nothin’ special . . . Round bore . . .

PLATONOV. Got a pencil?

MARKO. I do, sir . . . I received this summons there and there. Name and surname.

PLATONOV (rises). Take it. I signed five times. What’s your justice of the peace like? Gambles?

MARKO. Right you are.

PLATONOV. From five P.M. to five A.M.?

MARKO. Right you are.

PLATONOV. Gambled away his chain of office yet?

MARKO. Not yet, sir.

PLATONOV. Tell him . . . Actually, don’t tell him anything . . . Naturally, he doesn’t pay his card debts . . . He plays cards, the idiot, runs up debts, and has a whole litter of children . . . She really is a clever girl, honest to God! Never expected this, definitely never expected this! Who are the witnesses? Who else is getting a subpoena?

MARKO (riffles through the summonses and reads). “Doctor Nikolay Ivanych Triletsky, sir” . . .

PLATONOV. Triletsky? (Roars with laughter.) They’re putting on a comedy! Who else?

MARKO (reads). “Mister Kirill Porfirich Glagolyev, sir, Mister Alfons Ivanych Shrifter, his honor Retired Guards Cornet Maksim Yegorych Aleutov, sir, the son of Actual State Councilor High-school Student Mister Ivan Talié, Degree Candidate of St. Petersburg Neversity . . . .

PLATONOV. Is it written down “Neversity?”

MARKO. Not at all, sir . . .

PLATONOV. Then why did you read it that way?

MARKO. Out of ignorance, sir . . . (Reads.) “. . . uni . . . uni . . . neversity Mister Sergey Pavlych . . . Pavlovich Voinitsev, the wife of degree candidate of St. Petersburg uni . . . neversity Mrs. Sofya Yegorovna Voinitseva, Student of Kharkov University Mister Isak Abramych Vengerovich.” That’s all, sir!

PLATONOV. Hm . . . It’s the day after tomorrow, but tomorrow I have to go away . . . What a pity. I can imagine what the trial would be like . . . Hm . . . What a nuisance! I would have enjoyed it . . . (Walks around the stage.) A nuisance!

MARKO. How’s about a tip from your honor . . .

PLATONOV. Huh?

MARKO. A tip to buy tea⁷⁸. . . A good five miles I walked, sir . . .

PLATONOV. A tip? Skip it . . . Though, what am I saying? All right, my dear fellow! I won’t give you a tip to buy tea, but I’ll give you some tea instead . . . It’ll be a better deal for me, and more likely to keep you sober . . . (Takes a tea canister out of the cupboard.) Come over here . . . It’s good, strong tea . . . Maybe not forty-proof, but strong . . . What shall I put it in?

MARKO (holds out his pocket). Pour it in here, sir . . .

PLATONOV. Right in your pocket? Won’t it stink?

MARKO. Pour it in, sir, pour it in, sir . . . Don’t worry about it . . .

PLATONOV (pours in the tea). Enough?

MARKO. Thank you kindly . . .

PLATONOV. What an old duffer you are . . . I like you old vets! . . . You’ve got heart! . . . But even your bunch sometimes turns up some holy terrors . . .

MARKO. It takes all kinds, sir . . . Only the Lord is without sin . . . Cheers!

PLATONOV. Hold on . . . Just a minute . . . (Sits and writes on the summons.) “I kissed you that time, because . . . because I was annoyed and didn’t know what I was after, now, though, I would kiss you like a holy relic. I acted despicably to you, I admit. I am despicable to everybody. In court, unfortunately, we will not meet. Tomorrow I go away forever. Be happy and at least do me justice! Don’t forgive me!” (To Marko.) You know where Miss Grekova lives?

MARKO. I know, sir. About nine miles from here, if you cross the river at the ford, sir.

PLATONOV. That’s right . . . At Zhilkovo . . . Take her this letter, and you’ll get a three-spot. Give it right to the lady herself . . . No reply is expected . . . If she gives it back, don’t take it . . . Deliver it today . . . Right away . . . Deliver it, and then hand out your subpoenas. (Walks up and down the stage.)

MARKO. I understand.

PLATONOV. What else? Oh, yes! Tell everybody that I asked Grekova’s pardon and she refused.

MARKO. I understand. Cheers!

PLATONOV. Good-bye, friend! Look after yourself!

MARKO exits.

SCENE I V

PLATONOV (alone).

PLATONOV. Which means, I’ve settled my account with Grekova . . . She’ll blacken my name through the whole district . . . Just what I deserve . . . First time in my life a woman’s punished me . . . (Lies on the sofa.) You do them dirt, and they throw themselves into your arms . . . Sofya, for instance . . . (Covers his face with a handkerchief.) I was free as the wind, and I just lie here and dream . . . Love . . . Amo, amas, amat. . .⁷⁹ Got all involved . . . Ruined her, and flattered my vanity . . . (Sighs.) Those poor Voinitsevs! What about Sasha? Poor little kid! How will she go on living without me? She’ll pine away, she’ll die . . . She walked out, learned the truth, walked out with our child, without a single word . . . Walked out right after that night. If I could only say good-bye to her . . .

ANNA PETROVNA (in the window). May I come in? Hey! Is there anybody there?

PLATONOV. Anna Petrovna! (Leaps up.) The General’s lady! What am I to tell her! Why has she come here, I wonder? (Tidies himself up.)

ANNA PETROVNA (in the window). May I come in? I’m coming in! You hear me?

PLATONOV. She’s here! What excuse have I got not to let her in? (Combs his hair.) How can I show her the door? I’ll have a drink, before she comes in . . . (Quickly opens the cupboard.) And why the hell . . . I don’t understand! (Has a quick drink.) It’s all right if she doesn’t know about this, but what if she does? I’ll go red in the face . . .

SCENE V

PLATONOV and ANNA PETROVNA.

ANNA PETROVNA enters.

PLATONOV slowly shuts up the cupboard.

ANNA PETROVNA. My respects! Good to see you!

PLATONOV. It won’t shut . . .

Pause.

ANNA PETROVNA. You there! Good afternoon!

PLATONOV. Ah . . . Is that you, Anna Petrovna? Pardon, I didn’t notice . . . Only it won’t shut . . . That’s odd . . . (Drops the key and picks it up again.)

ANNA PETROVNA. Come over here to me! Leave the cupboard alone! Leave it!

PLATONOV (walks over to her). Good afternoon . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. Why won’t you look at me?

PLATONOV. I’m ashamed. (Kisses her hand.)

ANNA PETROVNA. Ashamed of what?

PLATONOV. Everything . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. Hm . . . Have you been seducing somebody?

PLATONOV. Yes, sort of . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. Let’s hear it for Platonov! Who is she?

PLATONOV. I won’t say . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. Let’s sit down . . .

They sit on the sofa.

We’ll find out, young man, we’ll find out . . . Why be ashamed on my account? After all, I’m an old acquaintance of your sinful soul . . .

PLATONOV. Don’t ask, Anna Petrovna! I’m in no mood today to attend my own cross-examination. Talk if you feel like it, but don’t ask any questions.

ANNA PETROVNA. All right. Did you get the letters?

PLATONOV. Yes.

ANNA PETROVNA. Then why didn’t you show up?

PLATONOV. I can’t take this.

ANNA PETROVNA. Why can’t you?

PLATONOV. I can’t.

ANNA PETROVNA. Pouting?

PLATONOV. No. What should I be pouting for? Don’t ask questions, for heaven’s sake!

ANNA PETROVNA. Please give me an answer, Mikhail Vasilich! Sit down and behave! Why haven’t you been to see us for the last three weeks?

PLATONOV. I was sick.

ANNA PETROVNA. That’s a lie!

PLATONOV. It’s a lie. Don’t ask questions, Anna Petrovna!

ANNA PETROVNA. How you reek of drink! Platonov, what’s the meaning of all this? What’s wrong with you? Do you know what you look like? Your eyes are red, your face is bestial . . . You’re filthy, the room is covered in filth . . . Look around, what’s the reason for all this mess? What’s wrong with you? Have you been drinking?

PLATONOV. I’ve been drinking abominably!

ANNA PETROVNA. Hm . . . Same story as last year . . . Last year you seduced somebody and went around like a wet hen until the fall, same as now . . . Don Juan and a craven coward rolled into one. Don’t you dare drink!

PLATONOV. I won’t . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. Word of honor? Still, why plague you with words of honor? (Gets up.) Where is your wine?

PLATONOV indicates the cupboard.

It’s disgraceful, Misha, to be so chicken-hearted! Where is your strength of character? (Unlocks the cupboard.) And the disorder in this cupboard! Aleksandra Ivanovna’s going to give it to you, when she gets back! Do you want your wife to come back?

PLATONOV. I want only one thing: don’t ask questions and don’t stare me in the face!

ANNA PETROVNA. Which bottle has wine in it?

PLATONOV. All of ‘em.

ANNA PETROVNA. All five? Ah you drunkard, you drunkard! There’s a whole bar-room in this cupboard of yours! Aleksandra Ivanovna had better get back here fast . . . You’ll explain it to her somehow . . . I’m not a very formidable rival . . . I can make a deal . . . It’s not my intention to split you up . . . (Drinks from a bottle.) This wine’s tasty . . . Come on, let’s have a little drink! Shall we? Let’s have one drink and then give up drinking forever!

PLATONOV goes to the cupboard.

Hold the glass! (Pours wine.) Bottoms up! I won’t pour you any more.

PLATONOV drinks.

And now I’ll drink too . . . (Pours.) To the health of bad men! (Drinks.) You’re a bad man! It’s good wine! You’ve got taste . . . (Hands him the bottle.) Take it! Bring it over here! (Goes to the window.) Kiss your tasty wine good-bye! (Looks out the window.) It’s a pity to pour it out . . . Let’s have another drink, eh? Shall we?

PLATONOV. As you like . . .

ANNA PETROVNA (pours). Drink up . . . Quick!

PLATONOV (drinks). Your health! God give you joy!

ANNA PETROVNA (pours and drinks). Did you miss me? Let’s sit down . . . Put down the bottle for now . . .

They sit down.

Miss me?

PLATONOV. Every moment.

ANNA PETROVNA. How come you didn’t show up?

PLATONOV. Don’t ask questions! I won’t tell you anything not because I’m keeping secrets from you, but because I’m taking pity on your ears! I’m a lost soul, an utterly lost soul, my dear! Pangs of conscience, anguish, depression . . . agony, in short! You’ve come, and I feel easier.

ANNA PETROVNA. You’ve lost weight, lost your looks . . . I can’t stand these romantic heroes! What are you making yourself out to be, Platonov? Playing the hero of some novel? Depression, anguish, conflicting passions, love with prefaces . . . Phoo! Behave like a human being! Live, you silly man, the way real people live! What, are you such an archangel that you can’t live, breathe, or sit like a mere mortal?

PLATONOV. That’s easy for you to say . . . What am I supposed to do?

ANNA PETROVNA. A person is alive, I mean a man is alive and doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do! Most peculiar! What is he to do? If you like, I’ll answer your question as best I can, even though it doesn’t deserve an answer, being a pointless question!

PLATONOV. You won’t have an answer . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. In the first place, live like a human being, I mean, don’t drink, don’t lie around, wash more often, and come to my house, and in the second place, be content with what you’ve got . . . You’re acting like a fool, my good sir! As if this pretense of teaching weren’t enough? (Gets up.) Come to my house right now!

PLATONOV. How’s that? (Gets up.) Come to your place? No, no . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. Let’s go! You’ll see people, talk a little, listen a little, quarrel a little . . .

PLATONOV. No, no . . . And don’t make it an order!

ANNA PETROVNA. Why not?

PLATONOV. I cannot, and that’s all!

ANNA PETROVNA. You can! Put on your hat! Let’s go!

PLATONOV. I cannot, Anna Petrovna! Not for anything! I won’t set foot outside the house!

ANNA PETROVNA. You can! (Puts his hat on him.) You’re being silly, Platonov, old pal, you’re being silly! (Takes him by the arm.) Well? One, two! . . . Go on, Platonov! Forward, march!

Pause.

How about it, Michel! Come on!

PLATONOV. I can’t!

ANNA PETROVNA. You’re as stubborn as a young bull! Start marching! Well? One, two . . . Michel, darling, dearest, sweetie . . .

PLATONOV (tears himself away). I won’t go, Anna Petrovna!

ANNA PETROVNA. Let’s take a walk around the schoolhouse!

PLATONOV. Why keep pestering me? Haven’t I told you that I won’t go! I want to stay at home, so let me do what I want!

Pause.

I won’t go!

ANNA PETROVNA. Hm . . . How about this, Platonov . . . I’ll lend you some money, and you can leave here for someplace else for a month or two . . .

PLATONOV. Where?

ANNA PETROVNA. Moscow, Petersburg . . . Will you go? Take a trip, Michel! It’s imperative that you make a change! Travel around, look at people, go to the theater, get refreshed, make a change . . . I’ll give you money, letters . . . Would you like me to go with you? Would you? Let’s take a trip, let’s have fun . . . We’ll come back here renewed and resplendent . . .

PLATONOV. It’s a wonderful idea, but, unfortunately, it won’t work . . . I am leaving here tomorrow, Anna Petrovna, but not with you!

ANNA PETROVNA. As you like . . . Where are you going?

PLATONOV. I’m just going . . .

Pause.

I am leaving here forever . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. Hogwash . . . (Drinks from the bottle.) Nonsense!

PLATONOV. It’s not hogwash, my dear! I’m going! Forever!

ANNA PETROVNA. But what for, you peculiar man?

PLATONOV. Don’t ask questions! Honest to God, forever! I’m leaving and . . . Good-bye, that’s what! Don’t ask! You won’t pry anything out of me now . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. Nonsense!

PLATONOV. Today is the last time we’ll see one another . . . I’m cutting out forever . . . (Takes her by the hands and then by the shoulders.) Forget the idiot, the jackass, the bastard and the scoundrel Platonov! He will vanish into thin air, fade into the background . . . We shall meet again, perhaps, dozens of years from now, when we will both be in a position to chuckle and shed senile tears over these days but now . . . the hell with them! (Kisses her hand.)

ANNA PETROVNA. Drink up! (Pours him wine.) There’s nothing wrong in a drunkard spouting nonsense . . .

PLATONOV (drinks it up). I won’t get drunk . . . I will remember, mother o’ mine, my good fairy! . . . I shall never forget! Laugh, you cultured, clear-minded woman! Tomorrow I’ll run away from here, I’ll run from myself, I don’t know where, I’ll run to a new life! I know only too well what this new life will be like!

ANNA PETROVNA. That’s all very pretty, but what has come over you?

PLATONOV. What? I . . . Later you’ll find out all about it! My friend, when you are horrified by my behavior, don’t curse me! Remember that I’m all but punished already . . . Parting with you forever is worse than punishment . . . What are you smiling at? Believe me! Word of honor, believe me! My heart is so bitter, so putrid and vile, that I’d be glad to smother myself!

ANNA PETROVNA (through tears). I don’t think you’d be capable of anything horrible . . . Will you write to me at least?

PLATONOV. I don’t dare write to you, besides you won’t care to read my letters! Absolutely forever . . . good-bye!

ANNA PETROVNA. Hm . . . You’ll be lost without me, Platonov! (Rubs her forehead.) I’m just the tiniest bit tipsy . . . Let’s go together!

PLATONOV. No . . . Tomorrow you’ll know it all and . . . (Turns away from the window.)

ANNA PETROVNA. Do you need money?

PLATONOV. No . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. So . . . I can’t help?

PLATONOV. I don’t know. Send me a card photo of you today . . . (Turns around.) Go away, Anna Petrovna, or I don’t know what the hell I might do! I’ll start sobbing, beat myself up and . . . Go away! There’s no way to keep me here! I’m talking to you in plain Russian! What are you waiting for! I have to go, is that so hard to understand! Why do you look at me like that? What’s the point of making such a face?

ANNA PETROVNA. Good-bye . . . (Offers her hand.) We shall meet again . . .

PLATONOV. No . . . (Kisses her hand.) We mustn’t . . . Go away, my nearest and dearest . . . (Kisses her hand.) Good-bye . . . Leave me . . . (Covers his face with her hand.)

ANNA PETROVNA. You’ve gone soft on me, dear heart . . . Well? Let go of my hand . . . Good-bye! Let’s have one for the road, shall we? (Pours.) Drink up! Happy journey, and happiness at journey’s end!

PLATONOV drinks.

What if you were to stay, Platonov? Eh? (Pours and drinks.) We’d have a rare old time . . . Where’s the crime in that? Can such things be in Voinitsevka?

Pause.

One more, to drown our sorrows?

PLATONOV. Sure.

ANNA PETROVNA (pours). Drink, my darling . . . Eh, damn it all to hell!

PLATONOV (drinks). Be happy! Live your life . . . You can get on without me . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. Let’s drink if we’re drinking . . . (Pours.) If you drink you die, and if you don’t drink you die, so it’s better to die drinking . . . (Drinks.) I’m a drunkard, Platonov . . . Eh? Have another? Don’t have to, though . . . We’ll get tongue-tied, and how will we talk then? (Sits down.) There’s nothing worse than being a cultured woman . . . A cultured woman with nothing to do . . . What’s the meaning of me, what’s the point of my life?

Pause.

Unintentionally immoral . . . I’m an immoral woman, Platonov . . . (Roars with laughter.) Eh? And I love you, maybe, because I’m immoral . . . (Rubs her forehead.) So I’ll be a lost soul too . . . My sort are always lost souls . . . I should have been some kind of professor, headmaster . . . If I had been a diplomat, I’d have screwed up the whole world good and proper . . . A cultured woman . . . with nothing to do. Useless, in other words . . . Horses, cows, and dogs are useful, but you are useless, a superfluous woman . . . Huh? Why don’t you say something?

PLATONOV. Both of us are in a bad way . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. If I had only had children . . . Do you like children? (Gets up. ) Do stay, darling! Won’t you stay? We would have such a good life! . . . Have fun, be friends . . . You’re leaving, but what about me? After all, I’d like to settle down . . . Michel! I have to settle down! I want to be . . . a wife, a mother . . .

Pause.

Say something! Speak! Will you stay? After all . . . after all, you do love me, you crackpot? You love me?

PLATONOV (looks out the window). I’ll kill myself, if I stay.

ANNA PETROVNA. You love me, don’t you?

PLATONOV. Who doesn’t love you?

ANNA PETROVNA. You love me, I love you, what more do you need? You’re losing your mind, I suppose . . . What more do you need? Why didn’t you come to me that night?

Pause.

Will you stay?

PLATONOV. Go away, for heaven’s sake! You’re tormenting me!

ANNA PETROVNA (offers her hand). Well . . . in that case . . . I wish you all the best . . .

PLATONOV. Do go away, or I’ll tell you all about it, and if I tell you, I’ll kill myself!

ANNA PETROVNA. I offer my hand . . . Don’t you see it? I’ll pop over here for a minute tonight . . .

PLATONOV. Don’t! I’ll come to you to say good-bye! I’ll come to your place myself . . . I won’t come for any reason! You won’t see me again, and I won’t see you! You really don’t want to see me! You’ll turn against me forever! A new life . . . (Embraces and kisses her.) For the last time . . . (Shoves her out the door.) Good-bye! Go and be happy! (Bolts the door shut.)

ANNA PETROVNA (behind the door). I swear to God we’ll meet again!

PLATONOV. No! Good-bye! (Puts his fingers in his ears.) I’m not listening! Shut up and go away! I’m stopping my ears!

ANNA PETROVNA. I’m going! I’ll send over Sergey and give you my word that you won’t go, but if you do, it’ll be with me! Good-bye!

Pause.

SCENE VI

PLATONOV (alone).

PLATONOV. Has she gone? (Goes to the door and listens.) She’s gone . . . But maybe she hasn’t gone? (Opens the door.) After all, she’s a devil . . . (Looks behind the door.) She’s gone . . . (Lies on the sofa.) Good-bye, charming woman! . . . (Sighs.) And I’ll never see her again . . . She’s gone . . . She might have stayed another five minutes . . .

Pause.

It wouldn’t have been so bad! I’ll ask Sofya to put off the trip another couple of weeks, and go away with the General’s lady! Right . . . Two weeks— that’s all! Sofya will agree to that . . . She can stay with her mother in the meantime . . . I’ll ask her . . . eh? While I’m away with the General’s lady, Sofya can have a bit of a rest . . . recover her strength, I mean . . . After all, I won’t be gone for an eternity!

Knock at the door.

I’ll go! That’s settled! Splendid . . .

Knock.

Who’s knocking? The General’s lady? Who’s there?

Knock.

Is that you? (Gets up.) I won’t let you in! (Goes to the door.) Is she there?

Knock.

She’s giggling, sounds like . . .(Laughs.) She is there . . . Have to let her in. . . . (Opens the door.) Ah!

Enter OSIP.

SCENE VII

PLATONOV and OSIP.

PLATONOV. What’s going on? That you, Satan? What’s brought you here?

OSIP. Good afternoon, Mikhail Vasilich!

PLATONOV. What have you got to say for yourself? To what and to whom am I obliged for a visit from such an important personage? Tell me quickly and then go to hell!

OSIP. I’ll take a seat . . . (Sits down.)

PLATONOV. Be so kind!

Pause.

Are you your old self, Osip? What’s wrong with you? Your face is inscribed with all ten plagues of Egypt!⁸⁰ What’s happened to you? You’re pale, thin, gaunt . . . Are you sick?

OSIP. You got plagues inscribed on your face too . . . What’s happened to you? I got all hell riding my tail, but what about you?

PLATONOV. Me? I don’t know anything about hell . . . I’m riding my own tail . . . (Touches Osip on the shoulder.) Skin and bones!

OSIP. Where’s your extra pounds? Sick, Mikhail Vasilich? Result of good behavior?

PLATONOV (sits beside him). Why did you come?

OSIP. To say good-bye . . .

PLATONOV. Are you really going away?

OSIP. I’m not going away, you are.

PLATONOV. How about that! How do you know?

OSIP. Why wouldn’t I know?

PLATONOV. I’m not going away, pal, not I. You’ve come on a fool’s errand.

OSIP. You are going away, sir . . .

PLATONOV. And you know it all, and it’s all your business . . . You, Osip, are a witch. I am going away, my dear fellow. You’re right.

OSIP. There, you see, that means I know. I even know where you’re going!

PLATONOV. Is that so? You’re really something . . . Even I don’t know. An authority, quite the authority! Well, tell me, where am I off to?

OSIP. Would you like to know?

PLATONOV. For heaven’s sake! This is fascinating! Where am I off to?

OSIP. The next world.

PLATONOV. Quite a distance!

Pause.

A riddle. Are you the one who’s going to send me there?

OSIP. Right you are. I brought you the ticket.

PLATONOV. Most kind of you! . . . Hm . . . In other words, you’ve come here to kill me?

OSIP. Right you are . . .

PLATONOV (mimics him). Right you are . . . What impudence, damn it! He’s come to dispatch me to the next world . . . Hm . . . You planning to kill me on your own behalf or did someone commission it?

OSIP (shows a twenty-five ruble note). That’s it . . . Vengerovich gave me this so I’d cripple your grace! (Tears up the money.)

PLATONOV. Aha . . . The older Vengerovich?

OSIP. The man himself . . .

PLATONOV. Then why did you tear up the money? Want to show how big-hearted you are, or what?

OSIP. I don’t know how to show I’m big-hearted, but I tore up the money so you wouldn’t be thinking in the next world that I killed you for money.

PLATONOV gets up and walks up and down the stage.

Are you afraid, Mikhail Vasilich? Scared? (Laughs.) Run away, shout! I’m not standing by the door, I’m not holding the door: there’s a way out. Go and call folks, tell ‘em that Osip’s come to kill you! For he has come to kill you . . . Don’t you believe me?

Pause.

PLATONOV (walks over to Osip and looks at him). Wonderful.

Pause.

What are you smiling for? Idiot! (Hits him on the arm.) Stop smiling! I’m talking to you! Shut up! I’ll see you hanged! I’ll smash you to a pulp, cutthroat! (Quickly walks away from him.) And yet . . . Don’t get me angry . . . I mustn’t get angry . . . It makes me sick.

OSIP. Slap my face because I’m a menace to society!

PLATONOV. As much as you please! (Walks over to Osip and slaps him.) What? Staggering? Just wait, see how you’ll start to stagger, when a hundred cudgels are drumming on your empty head! You remember how pock-marked Filka died?

OSIP. A dog dies a dog’s death.

PLATONOV. V-v-v . . . what a disgusting creature you are! I could mangle you, villain! Why do you do them harm, you despicable soul, like a disease, like a wildfire? What have they done to you? V-v-v . . . Bastard!! (Hits him on the cheek.) Filth! I’ll take you and . . . I’ll take you . . . (Quickly walks away from Osip.) Get out!

OSIP. Spit in my face because I’m a menace to society!

PLATONOV. Spit’s too good for you!

OSIP (gets up). So you dare to talk like that?

PLATONOV. Get out of here, before I grind you into the mud!

OSIP. You wouldn’t dare! You’re a menace to society too!

PLATONOV. You’re bandying words with me again? (Walks up to him.) You came to kill me, I believe? Well! Kill me! Here I am! Kill me now!

OSIP. I respected you, Mister Platonov, I took you to be somebody important! But now . . . It’s a shame to kill you, but I got to . . . You’re the real menace . . . Why did the young lady come by here today?

PLATONOV (shakes him by the chest). Kill me! Come on and kill me!

OSIP. And why did the General’s lady come by here afterwards? That mean you’re cheating on the General’s lady? And where’s your wife? Which of them three is the one that matters most? And you’re not a menace to society after that? (Quickly trips him up and falls on top of him on the floor.)

PLATONOV. Get off me! I’ll kill you, you won’t kill me! I’m stronger than you!

They wrestle.

Careful!

OSIP. You turn over on your stomach! Don’t twist my arm! It’s not my arm’s fault for anything, so why twist it? There you go again! When you’re in the next world, give General Voinitsev my sincerest regards!

PLATONOV. Let go!

OSIP (pulls a knife out of his belt). Careful! All the same I’ll kill you! And you’re so strong! Somebody important! Don’t feel like dying? Then hands off what don’t belong to you!

PLATONOV (shouts). My arm! Wait, wait . . . My arm!

OSIP. Don’t feel like dying? You’re gonna be in the kingdom of heaven any minute now . . .

PLATONOV. Only don’t stab me in the back, you ironclad animal, stab me in the chest! My arm! Let go, Osip! A wife, a son . . . Is this a dagger that I see before me? O cursèd spite!⁸¹

SASHA runs in.

SCENE VII

The same and SASHA.

SASHA (runs in). What’s going on? (Shrieks.) Misha! (Runs to the wrestlers and falls on them.) What are you doing?

OSIP. Who’s that? Aleksandra Ivanovna? (Jumps up.) Let him live! (to Sasha.) Here’s a jackknife for you! (Hands over the knife.) I won’t cut his throat with you standing by . . . Let him live! I’ll cut his throat later! He won’t get away! (Leaps through the window.)

PLATONOV (after a pause). What a devil . . . Greetings, Sasha! That is you, isn’t it? (Groans.)

SASHA. He hasn’t hurt you? Can you get up? Hurry up!

PLATONOV. I don’t know . . . That creature’s made out of cast iron . . . Give me your hand! (Gets up.) Don’t be afraid, my dearest . . . I’m still in one piece. He only roughed me up a little . . .

SASHA. What a nasty man he is! Didn’t I tell you not to go near him!

PLATONOV. Where’s the sofa? What are you looking at? Your faithless one is still alive! Don’t you see that? (Lies on the sofa.) Thanks for coming, otherwise you’d be a widow, and I’d be deceased!

SASHA. Lie on a cushion! (Puts a cushion under his head.) That’s right! (Sits at his feet.) Does it hurt anywhere?

Pause.

Why have you closed your eyes?

PLATONOV. No, no . . . I just . . . So you’ve come back, Sasha? You’ve come back, my treasure? (Kisses her hand.)

SASHA. Our Kolya’s taken sick!

PLATONOV. What’s wrong with him?

SASHA. A sort of cough, temperature, a rash . . . Two nights now he hasn’t slept and screams . . . Doesn’t drink, doesn’t eat . . . (Weeps.) He’s come down with something, Misha! I’m afraid for him! . . . I’m so afraid! And I had a bad dream . . .

PLATONOV. Why doesn’t your darling brother take a look? After all, he’s a doctor!

SASHA. Him? Is there any sympathy in him? Four days ago he dropped by for a minute, turned on his heel, and left. I’ve told him about Kolya’s illness, but he pinches his cheeks and yawns . . . Called me a fool . . .

PLATONOV. There’s another nincompoop! He’ll yawn himself silly one of these days! And he’ll walk out on himself, when he falls ill!

SASHA. What’s to be done?

PLATONOV. Hope against hope . . . You living with your father now?

SASHA. Yes.

PLATONOV. What’s he do?

SASHA. Nothing. Walks up and down his room, smokes his pipe, and makes plans to come over and see you. I showed up at his house all upset, so he figured out that I . . . that you and I . . . What’s to be done about Kolya?

PLATONOV. Don’t worry, Sasha!

SASHA. How can I not worry? If he dies, God forbid, what will become of us then?

PLATONOV. Yes . . . Pray God He doesn’t take our little boy from us! Why punish you? For marrying a good-for-nothing?

Pause.

Sasha, take care of my little midget! Take care of him for me, and I swear to you by all that’s holy that I’ll make a man of him! His every move will be your delight! After all, he’s a Platonov too, poor thing! Only he ought to change his name . . . As a man I’m petty, insignificant, but as a father I shall be great! Don’t fear for his prospects! Ugh, my arm! (Groans.) My arm hurts . . . That cutthroat pummeled it hard . . . What’s wrong with it? (Examines his arm.) It’s red . . . Well, the hell with it! That’s how it is, Sasha . . . . Your son will make you happy! You’re laughing . . . Laugh, my precious! But now you’re crying? What’s there to cry about? Hm . . . Don’t cry, Sasha! (Embraces her head.) She’s come back . . . But why did you leave me? Don’t cry, little squirrel! Why these tears? After all, I love you, little girl! . . . I love you so much! Great is my guilt, but what can you do? You’ve got to forgive me . . . There, there . . .

SASHA. Is your affair over?

PLATONOV. Affair? What kind of word is that, you little philistine?

SASHA. Isn’t it over?

PLATONOV. How can I put it? It’s not exactly an affair, but a sort of hideous hodgepodge . . . Don’t let this hodgepodge get to you! If it isn’t over, it soon . . . will be!

SASHA. But when?

PLATONOV. We can only imagine that it’ll be soon! Soon we’ll start living again, Sasha, in the old way! The hell with all the new stuff! I’m all worn out, used up . . . Don’t put any more stock in the durability of this liaison than I do myself! It won’t last . . . She will be the first to cool off and the first to react to this liaison with laughter and remorse. Sofya’s no partner for me. The things that get her excited are things that were stale for me long ago; with tears of tenderness she looks at things I can’t look at without laughing . . . She’s no fit partner for me . . .

Pause.

Believe me! Sofya won’t be your rival much longer . . . Sasha, what’s come over you?

SASHA gets up and staggers.

(Rises.) Sasha!

SASHA. You . . . you’re with Sofya, and not with the General’s lady?

PLATONOV. First time you’ve heard this?

SASHA. Sofya? . . . Vile . . . sordid . . .

PLATONOV. What’s wrong with you? You’re pale, staggering . . . (Groans.) Don’t torture me at least, Sasha! My arm hurts, while you keep on . . . Is this really . . . news to you? You’re hearing it for the first time? Then why did you go away that night? Wasn’t it on account of Sofya?

SASHA. The General’s lady is to be expected, but another man’s wife? Sordid, sinful . . . I didn’t expect this sort of dirty doings from you! God will punish you, you shameless man! (Goes to the door.)

PLATONOV (after a pause). You’re outraged? But where are you off to?

SASHA (stops in the doorway). May God grant happiness . . .

PLATONOV. To whom?

SASHA. To you, sir, and Sofya Yegorovna.

PLATONOV. She’s been reading idiotic novels. Sasha! I’m not “sir” to you: we’ve got a little boy, and I . . . after all, I am your husband! And in the second place, I don’t need happiness! . . . Stop, Sasha! Now you’re going away . . . And, I suppose, forever?

SASHA. I can’t take this! Ugh, my God, my God . . .

PLATONOV. You can’t take it?

SASHA. My God . . . And is it really true? (Puts her hands to her temples and squats down.) I . . . I don’t know what to do . . .

PLATONOV. You can’t take it? (Walks over to her.) It’s up to you . . . . Although I wish you’d stay! What’s the bawling for, you little silly?

Pause.

Eh, Sasha, Sasha . . . Great is my guilt, but is there really no way to forgive me?

SASHA. Have you forgiven yourself?

PLATONOV. A philosophical question! (Kisses her on the head.) I wish you’d stay . . . I’m really sorry! Really when you’re away there’s vodka, filth, Osips . . . I’m sick to death of it! Stay as a sick-nurse, not a wife! You’re a funny bunch, you women! You’re funny, Sasha! If you can feed that villain Osip, if you never stop fussing over dogs and cats, if you stay up half the night reading the doxology for your so-called enemies, what difference does it make if you toss a crust to your misbehaving but apologetic husband? Why you do act like an executioner? Stay, Sasha! (Embraces her.) I can’t be without a nanny! I’m a villain, I seduced another man’s wife, I’m Sofya’s lover, maybe even the lover of the General’s lady, I’m a polygamist, a major felon when it comes to family . . . Be outraged, be indignant! But who will love you the way I love you? Who will appreciate such a dear little country girl the way I appreciate her? Who will you cook a meal for, whose soup will you oversalt? You’d be doing the right thing if you left me . . . Justice demands it, but . . . (lifts her up) who will pick you up like this? Can you exist, my precious, apart from me?

SASHA. I can’t take it! Let me go! I’m ruined! You’re joking, while I’m ruined! (Tears herself away.) Don’t you realize that this is no joke? Good-bye! I cannot live with you! Now everyone will regard you as a despicable person! How will that make me feel?! (Sobs.)

PLATONOV. Have it your own way! (Kisses her on the head and lies on the sofa.) I understand . . .

SASHA. You wrecked our family . . . We had a happy, peaceful life . . . There was no one in the world happier than me . . . (Sits down.) What have you done, Misha? (Gets up.) What have you done? There’s no turning back now . . . I am ruined . . . (Sobs.)

PLATONOV. Then go already!

SASHA. Good-bye! You won’t see me again! Don’t come to see us . . . Father will bring Kolya to visit you . . . God will forgive you, as I forgive you! You’ve destroyed our life!

PLATONOV. You gone yet?

SASHA. I’m gone . . . Fine . . . (Looks at Platonov for a moment and leaves.)

SCENE IX

PLATONOV (alone) and then VOINITSEV

PLATONOV. And here’s the man who’s starting a new life! It hurts!! I’m losing everyone . . . I’m going crazy! My God! Sasha, a little mosquito, a bedbug—and she dares, even she . . . the might of something holy gives her the right to throw stones at me! Damned circumstances! (Lies on the sofa.)

VOINITSEV enters and stops in the doorway.

(After a pause.) Is this the epilogue or only another farce?

(On seeing Voinitsev, closes his eyes and snores softly.)

VOINITSEV (walks over to Platonov). Platonov!

Pause.

You’re not asleep . . . I can see it in your face . . . (Sits beside him.) I wouldn’t have thought . . . it was possible to sleep . . .

PLATONOV sits up.

(Rises and looks out the window.) You’ve killed me . . . Did you know that?

Pause.

Thank you . . . What about me? Never mind . . . Let it be. In other words, this is how it’s supposed to be . . . (Weeps.)

PLATONOV rises and slowly goes to another corner of the room.

Just once fate conferred a gift on me and . . . it’s been taken away! They weren’t enough for him, his brains, his good looks, his big heart . . . He had to have my happiness as well! He took it away . . . How about me? What about me? I’m nothing . . . That’s it . . . A morbid, dim-witted mind, effeminate, sentimental, not overly talented . . . With a tendency to idleness, mysticism, superstition . . . You’ve polished off a friend!

PLATONOV. Get out of here!

VOINITSEV. Right away . . . I came to challenge you to a duel, but now that I’m here I start whining . . . I’m going.

Pause.

So I’ve lost her once and for all?

PLATONOV. Yes.

VOINITSEV (whistles). That’s it . . . Stands to reason . . .

PLATONOV. Get out of here! I’m begging you! Get out!

VOINITSEV. Right away . . . What’s there for me to do here? (Goes to the door.) There’s nothing for me to do here . . .

Pause.

Give her back to me, Platonov! Have a heart! After all, she’s mine! Platonov! You’re so happy! Save me, dear fellow! How about it? Give her back! (Sobs.) After all, she’s mine! Mine! You understand?

PLATONOV (goes to the sofa). Go away . . . I’ll shoot myself . . . I swear on my honor!

VOINITSEV. You don’t have to . . . Never mind! (Waves his hand in dismissal and exits.)

PLATONOV (clutches his head). Oh wretched, pitiful man! My God! Damn this god-forsaken head of mine! (Sobs.) Stay away from people, you rat! I’ve been a jinx for people, people have been a jinx for me! Stay away from people! They beat you up and beat you up, and can’t manage to beat you down! Under every chair, under every splinter lurks a murderer, who stares you in the face, and wants to kill you! Beat me to death! (Beats himself on the chest.) Beat me, before I beat myself to death! (Runs to the door.) Don’t beat me on the chest! My chest is already ripped wide open! (Shouts.) Sasha! Sasha, for the love of God! (Opens the door.)

Enter GLAGOLYEV SR.

SCENE X

PLATONOV, GLAGOLYEV SR., and then GLAGOLYEV JR.

GLAGOLYEV SR. (enters muffled up with a crutch). You home, Mikhail Vasilich? Pleased to see you . . . I’ve disturbed you . . . But I won’t keep you, I’ll go at once . . . We’ll put just one question to you. You answer it, and I’ll go. What’s wrong with you, Mikhail Vasilich? You’re pale, shaky, trembling . . . What’s come over you?

PLATONOV. What’s come over me? Ah? I’m drunk, I suppose, or . . . I’m going out of my mind! I’m drunk . . . drunk . . . My head’s spinning . . .

GLAGOLYEV SR. (aside). I’ll ask. “What a sober fellow keeps inside, a drunken one will never hide.” (to him.) The question is an odd one, perhaps even a stupid one, but, for heaven’s sake, answer me, Mikhail Vasilich! My question is for me one of life and death! I shall accept your answer, because I know you to be the most honorable of men . . . Even if my questions strike you as odd, absurd, silly, and even, perhaps, insulting, for heaven’s sake . . . make me an answer! I find myself in a peculiar situation! A lady we both know . . . You know her well . . . I considered her the peak of human perfection . . . Anna Petrovna Voinitseva . . . (Supports Platonov.) Don’t fall down, for heaven’s sake!

PLATONOV. Go away! I always considered you . . . sir, to be an old fool!

GLAGOLYEV SR. You’re her friend, you know her like the palm of your hand . . . Either people have defamed her to me, or else . . . they’ve opened my eyes . . . Is she an honest woman, Mikhail Vasilich? She . . . she . . . Does she have the right to be the wife of an honest man?

Pause.

I don’t know how to formulate my question . . . Understand me, for heaven’s sake! They told me that she . . .

PLATONOV. Everything’s vulgar, vile, filthy on this earth! Everything’s . . . vulgar . . . vile . . . (Falls senseless on to Glagolyev and tumbles to the floor.)

GLAGOLYEV JR. (enters). What are you hanging around here for? I don’t intend to wait!

GLAGOLYEV SR. Everything’s vulgar, filthy, vile . . . Everything, which means, including her . . .

GLAGOLYEV JR. (looks at Platonov). Father, what’s going on with Platonov?

GLAGOLYEV SR. Revoltingly drunk . . . Yes, vulgar, filthy . . . A profound, inexorable, stinging truth!

Pause.

Let’s go to Paris!

GLAGOLYEV JR. What? To Pa . . . To Paris? Why should you go to Paris? (Bursts out laughing.)

GLAGOLYEV SR. To roll in the mud the way this fellow’s rolling in it! (Points to Platonov.)

GLAGOLYEV JR. To roll in the mud . . . in Paris?!

GLAGOLYEV SR. Let’s look for happiness in another line of work! Enough! I’m fed up with acting a comedy for myself, hoodwinking myself with ideals! No more faith or love! No more decent people! Let’s go!

GLAGOLYEV JR. To Paris?

GLAGOLYEV SR. Yes . . . If we’re going to sin, let’s sin in a foreign country, not our native land! Until we’re rotting in our graves, let’s live like other people! Be my instructor, son! Let’s go to Paris!

GLAGOLYEV JR. Now that’s sweet, father! You taught me to read, and I’ll teach you to live! Let’s go!

They exit.

End of Act Three

ACT FOUR

The study of the late General Voinitsev. Two doors. Antique furniture, Persian carpets, flowers. The walls are hung with rifles, pistols, daggers (Caucasian workmanship), and so on. Family portraits. Busts of Krylov, Pushkin, and Gogol.⁸² A whatnot with stuffed birds. A bookcase filled with books. On the bookcase cigarette holders, little boxes, sticks, gun barrels, and so on. A writing desk, littered with papers, portraits, statuettes, and firearms. Morning.

SCENE I

SOFYA YEGOROVNA and KATYA enter.

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Don’t get so excited! Talk sense!

KATYA. Something bad’s going on, madam! Doors and windows all wide open, inside everything upside-down, smashed up . . . The door’s torn off its hinges . . . Something bad happened, madam! That’s why one of our hens crowed like a cock!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. What do you think it was?

KATYA. I don’t think about it, madam. What can I think? I only know something happened . . . Either Mikhail Vasilich went far away, or else he laid hands on himself . . . The gent, madam, has a passionate nature! I’ve known him for two years now . . .

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. No . . . Were you in the village?

KATYA. Yes, ma’am . . . Nowhere to be found . . . Four hours or so I walked around . . .

SOFYA YEGOROVNA (sits down). What’s to be done? What’s to be done?

Pause.

You’re sure that he’s nowhere around here? Sure?

KATYA. I don’t know, madam . . . Something bad has happened . . . That’s why my heart’s aching! Give it up, madam! After all, it’s a sin! (Weeps.) I feel sorry for the master Sergey Pavlovich . . . He was such a good-looker, and now what’s he like? All worn out these last two days, the darling, running around like a wild man. A good master gone to the dogs . . . I feel sorry for Mikhail Vasilich too . . . There was a time he was a real cut-up, there was a time you couldn’t get away from his jokes, and now he looks like death warmed over . . . Give it up, madam!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Give what up?

KATYA. Love. What’s the sense in it? Nothing but shame. And I feel sorry for you too. What are you like now? You’ve lost weight, don’t drink, don’t eat, don’t sleep, all you do is cough . . .

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Go out again, Katya! Maybe he’s back at the school. . .

KATYA. Right away . . .

Pause.

You should get some sleep.

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Go out again, Katya! Have you gone?

KATYA (aside). You don’t come of peasant stock! (Sharply, tearfully.) Where am I to go, madam?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. I want to get some sleep. I didn’t sleep all night long. Don’t shout so loudly! Get out of here!

KATYA. Yes, ma’am . . . There’s no reason to eat your heart out this way! . . . You should go to your room and lie down! (Exits.)

SCENE II

SOFYA YEGOROVNA and then VOINITSEV.

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. It’s horrible! Yesterday he gave his word of honor he’d show up at the cabin at ten o’clock and he didn’t . . . I waited for him till dawn . . . So much for word of honor! So much for love, so much for our eloping! . . . He doesn’t love me!

VOINITSEV (enters). I’m going to bed . . . Maybe I’ll get some sleep . . . (On seeing Sofya Yegorovna.) You . . . in my room? In my study?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Is that where I am? (Looks around.) Yes . . . But I came in inadvertently, without even noticing . . . (Goes to the door.)

VOINITSEV. Just a minute!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA (stops). Well?

VOINITSEV. Please, let me have a few minutes of your time . . . Can you stay here for a few minutes?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Talk! You have something you want to say?

VOINITSEV. Yes . . .

Pause.

The time is past when we were not strangers to one another in this room . . .

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. It is past.

VOINITSEV. Forgive me, though, I was starting to get carried away. You’re leaving?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Yes.

VOINITSEV. Hm . . . Soon?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Today.

VOINITSEV. With him?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Yes.

VOINITSEV. I wish you happiness!

Pause.

A firm foundation for happiness! Flesh run amok and another person’s heartbreak . . . Another person’s heartbreak always contributes to somebody’s happiness! However, that’s stale . . . People would rather hear a new lie than an old truth . . . Never mind! Live as best you can!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. You wanted to say something . . .

VOINITSEV. Does it sound as if I’m silent? All right then . . . Here’s what I wanted to say . . . I want to be completely candid with you, not beholden to you, and therefore I ask you to forgive my behavior yesterday . . . Last night I was rude to you, crude, malicious . . . Forgive me, please . . . Will you forgive me?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. I forgive you. (Makes to leave.)

VOINITSEV. Wait a second, wait, that’s not all! I have something more to say. (Sighs.) I’m going mad, Sophie! I haven’t got the strength to bear this dreadful blow . . . I’m mad, and yet I quite understand . . . Amidst the fog spreading in my brain, amidst the mass of something gray, leaden, heavy, there glints a little glimmer of light, which enables me to understand it all . . . If that little glimmer goes out on me too, well then, that means . . . I’m utterly lost. I quite understand . . .

Pause.

Here I stand in my own study; in this study once occupied by my father, Major-General Voinitsev of His Majesty’s retinue, knight of St. George, a great and glorious man! People only saw what was wrong with him . . . They saw the way he beat and trampled, but how he was beaten and trampled, nobody wanted to see . . . (Points at Sofya Yegorovna.) Here is my ex-wife . . .

SOFYA YEGOROVNA tries to leave.

VOINITSEV. Wait a second! Let me finish! I’m talking like an idiot, but listen to me! After all, it’s for the last time!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. You’ve said it all before . . . What more can you say? We have to separate . . . What more is there to say? Are you trying to prove that I am doing you wrong? Don’t bother! I know what to think of myself. . .

VOINITSEV. What can I say? Ugh, Sofya, Sofya! You know nothing! Nothing, otherwise you wouldn’t look down your nose at me like that! The things that are going on inside me are horrible! (Gets on his knees before her.) What are you doing, Sophie? Where are you driving the two of us? For heaven’s sake, be merciful! I’m dying and losing my mind! Stay with me! I will forget all about it, I’ve already forgiven all of it . . . I’ll be your slave, I’ll love you . . . I will, in a way I haven’t loved before! I’ll make you happy! You’ll be happy with me, like a goddess! He won’t make you happy! You’ll ruin both yourself and him! You’ll be the ruin of Platonov, Sofya! . . . I know you can’t be forced to be kind, but do stay! You’ll be happy again, you won’t look as pale as a corpse, so miserable! I’ll be a man again, I’ll be able to face you again . . . Platonov! That’s pie in the sky, but . . . do stay! Let’s turn back the clock, before it’s too late! Platonov will agree . . . I know him . . . He doesn’t love you, but just . . . you gave yourself to him, and he took you . . . (Rises.) Are you crying?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA (rises). Don’t assume these tears have anything to do with you! Perhaps, Platonov will agree . . . Let him agree! (Sharply.) You’re all such vulgar people! Where is Platonov?

VOINITSEV. I don’t know where he is.

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Stop pestering me! Leave me alone! I hate you! Get out of here! Where’s Platonov? Vulgar people . . . Where is he? I do hate you!

VOINITSEV. What for?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Where is he?

VOINITSEV. I gave him money, and he promised me he’d go away. If he kept his promise, it means he’s gone away.

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. You bought him off? Are you lying?

VOINITSEV. I paid him a thousand rubles, and he gave you up. Although that’s a lie! It’s all lies! Don’t believe me, for heaven’s sake! Alive and well, that damned Platonov! Go and get him, smother him in kisses! . . . I didn’t buy him off! And how can you . . . he be happy? For this is my wife, my Sofya . . . What does it all mean? And even now I don’t believe it! Are you and he on Platonic terms? It hasn’t gone as far as . . . the main event?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. I’m his wife, mistress, whatever you like! (Tries to leave.) What’s the point in keeping me here? I haven’t the time to listen to all this . . .

VOINITSEV. Wait a bit, Sofya! You’re his mistress? Whatever do you mean? You talk so shamelessly! (Grabs her by the arm.) How could you? How could you?

Enter ANNA PETROVNA.

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Leave me alone! (Exits.)

SCENE III

VOINITSEV and ANNA PETROVNA.

ANNA PETROVNA enters and looks out the window.

VOINITSEV (waves his hand in dismissal). It’s all over!

Pause.

What’s going on out there?

ANNA PETROVNA. Osip’s been killed by the peasants.

VOINITSEV. Already?

ANNA PETROVNA. Yes . . . Near the well . . . Do you see it? There he is!

VOINITSEV (looks out the window). So what? It serves him right.

ANNA PETROVNA. Have you heard the news, sonny boy? They’re saying Platonov has vanished somewhere and . . . Read the letter?

VOINITSEV. I have.

ANNA PETROVNA. Bye-bye estate! How do you like that? Bingo . . . The Lord gaveth, and the Lord tooketh away . . . There’s your famous financial wheeling and dealing for you! And all because we put our trust in Glagolyev . . . He promised to buy the estate, and didn’t even go to the auction . . . The servant girl says that he’s gone to Paris . . . Pulled one over on us, the bastard, in his old age! If it hadn’t been for him, you and I could have paid off the interest fine and dandy and could have gone on living here . . . (Sighs.) In this world you mustn’t trust your enemies, or your friends, for that matter!

VOINITSEV. Yes, you mustn’t trust your friends!

ANNA PETROVNA. Well, landed gentry? What will you do now? Where will you go? The Lord gaveth to your ancestors, but tooketh away from you . . . You’ve got nothing left . . .

VOINITSEV. It doesn’t matter to me.

ANNA PETROVNA. No, it does matter. How are you going to eat? Let’s sit down . . . (Sits down.) How gloomy you are . . . What’s to be done? It’s a shame we’ve got to abandon the cozy little nest, but what can you do, love? You can’t turn back . . . That’s how it’s got to be, I suppose . . . Be a clever boy, Serzhel! The first thing is to be calm and collected.

VOINITSEV. Don’t pay any attention to me, maman! Why bother about me? You can hardly sit still yourself . . . First console yourself, and then come and console me.

ANNA PETROVNA. Well . . . Womenfolk don’t matter . . . Womenfolk are always in the background . . . The first thing is to be calm and collected! You’ve lost what was yours, but the important thing is not what used to be but what lies ahead. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, a good, hardworking, man’s life! What’s there to grieve about? You’ll go into a prep school or a high school, you’ll start working . . . I think you’re a fine fellow. A philologist, well meaning, never been involved in anything shady, you’ve got convictions, demure, a married man . . . If you want to, you’ll go far! I think you’re a clever boy! Only you mustn’t quarrel with your wife . . . You no sooner got married when you started quarreling . . . Why don’t you tell me about it, Serzhel? Your heart is aching, but you keep it quiet . . . What’s going on between the two of you?

VOINITSEV. Nothing’s going on, it’s already gone on.

ANNA PETROVNA. What then? Or maybe it’s a secret?

VOINITSEV (sighs). A terrible misfortune has befallen our house, mamma Anyuta! Why haven’t I told you before now? I don’t know. I kept hoping against hope, and besides I was ashamed to say anything . . . I only learned about it myself yesterday morning . . . And I couldn’t care less about the estate!

ANNA PETROVNA (laughs). How alarming! Has she lost her temper or something?

VOINITSEV. You laugh! Just wait, you’ll wipe that smile off your face!

Pause.

She has betrayed me . . . I’m honored to introduce myself: a cuckold!

ANNA PETROVNA. Don’t be silly, Sergey?! What silly fantasies! To say such monstrous things and without a second thought! You’re incredible! Sometimes you talk such drivel it simply makes my ears droop! A cuckold . . . You don’t even know the meaning of the word . . .

VOINITSEV. I do know, maman! Not in theory, but I already know it in practice!

ANNA PETROVNA. Don’t insult your wife, you crackpot! Ah . . .

VOINITSEV. I swear to God!

Pause.

ANNA PETROVNA. This is strange . . . What you’re saying is impossible. You’re spreading slander! Impossible! Here, in Voinitsevka?

VOINITSEV. Yes, here, in your damned Voinitsevka!

ANNA PETROVNA. Hm . . . And who here, in our damned Voinitsevka, would come up with the impossible idea of planting horns on your aristocratic head? Absolutely nobody! Young Glagolyev, perhaps? Not likely. Glagolyev has stopped coming here . . . There’s no one suitable for your Sophie here. Your jealousy is ridiculous, my dear!

VOINITSEV. Platonov!

ANNA PETROVNA. What about Platonov?

VOINITSEV. He’s the one.

ANNA PETROVNA (jumps up). You can talk nonsense, but the sort of nonsense you’re talking now, listen here . . . What drivel!! You should know when to stop! It’s inexcusably ridiculous!

VOINITSEV. Ask her, go and ask him yourself, if you don’t believe me! I didn’t want to believe it and I still don’t want to believe it, but she is leaving today, deserting me! I have to believe it! And he’s going with her! Can’t you see me going around, gaping at all the world like a drowned kitten! I’m ruined!

ANNA PETROVNA. It can’t be that, Sergey! It’s a figment of your puerile imagination! Believe me! There’s nothing to it!

VOINITSEV. Believe me, she is leaving today! Believe that over the last two days she has said over and over again that she is his mistress! She said it herself! What has happened may be impossible to believe, but against your will and for all your skill you have to believe it!

ANNA PETROVNA. I remember, I remember . . . Now I understand what’s going on . . . Get me a chair, Sergey! No, never mind . . . So that’s what’s going on! Hm . . . Hold on, hold on, let me remember it in order . . .

Pause.

Enter BUGROV.

SCENE IV

ANNA PETROVNA, VOINITSEV, and BUGROV.

BUGROV (enters). Good morning, sir and ma’am! A happy Sunday, sir and ma’am! Live and be well, sir and ma’am!

ANNA PETROVNA. Yes-yes-yes . . . It’s horrible . . .

BUGROV. There’s a touch of rain, but it’s hot . . . (Mops his brow.) Fff . . . Steam rises off you, walking or riding . . . Are you all right, sir and ma’am?

Pause.

I dropped by here in person seeing as how yesterday the auction took place, as you know . . . And besides this, you know, it’s a little bit (laughs) of a ticklish situation and offensive to you, of course, so I . . . don’t want you to hold it against me, if you don’t mind! I’m not the one who bought the estate! Abram Abramych bought it, only in my name . . .

VOINITSEV (rings forcefully). To hell with the lot of ‘em . . .

BUGROV. Quite so, sir . . . You mustn’t think it, sir . . . Wasn’t me, sir . . . Consequently, only in my name, accordingly! (Sits down.)

YAKOV enters.

VOINITSEV (to Yakov). How many times have I asked you lowlifes, bastards (coughs), good-for-nothings, not to let anybody in without announcing them! A good hiding’s in store for all of you, you swine! (Tosses the bell under the table.) Get out of here! Bastards . . . (Paces up and down the stage.)

YAKOV shrugs and exits.

BUGROV (coughs). In my name only, sir . . . Abram Abramych asked me to convey that you can live here to your heart’s content, even till Christmas . . . There’ll be a few little alterations, but they won’t inconvenience you, sir . . . And if it happens they do, you can move into the servants’ quarters . . . Plenty of rooms, and it’s warm, sir . . . He also asked me to inquire, sir, if you wouldn’t like to sell me, that is in my name, the mines? The mines belong to you, ma’am, Anna Petrovna . . . Wouldn’t you like to sell them to us at this time? We’ll pay a good price . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. No . . . I won’t sell a single mine to any of you devils! What are you offering? A penny? You know what you can do with that penny!

BUGROV. Abram Abramych also asked me to convey that in case if it ain’t to your liking, Anna Petrovna, to sell him your mines minus what’s owed by Sergey Pavlich and the late general Pavel Ivanych, then he will call in the I.O.U.s . . . And so will I, ma’am . . . Hee-hee, ma’am . . . Friendship is one thing, you know, but money’s something else . . . Business is business! It’s a hell of a deal. I, that is . . . bought your I.O.U.s from Petrin. .

VOINITSEV. I won’t allow anyone to speculate on my stepmother’s property! It’s her property, not mine! . . .

BUGROV. The lady, perhaps, will feel sorry for you . . .

VOINITSEV. I haven’t got the time to discuss it with you! Good grief . . . (Waves his hand in dismissal.) Do whatever you want!

ANNA PETROVNA. Leave us alone, Timofey Gordeich! Excuse us . . . Please go away!

BUGROV. Of course, ma’am . . . (Gets up.) Please don’t trouble yourselves . . . You can live here at least till Christmas. Tomorrow or day after I’ll drop by, ma’am. Keep well, ma’am! (Exits.)

ANNA PETROVNA. Tomorrow we leave this place! Yes, now I remember . . . Platonov . . . So that’s it, that’s what he is running away from!

VOINITSEV. Let them do whatever they want! Let them take it all! I no longer have a wife, I don’t need anything else! No wife, maman!

ANNA PETROVNA. Yes, you no longer have a wife . . . But what did he see in that wishy-washy Sofya? What did he see in that slip of a girl? What could he see in her? How indiscriminate these stupid men are! They’re capable of being attracted by any sl . . . And where were you while this was going on, Mr. Loving Husband? Where were your eyes? Crybaby! Whimpering while somebody made off with his wife right under his nose! And you call this a man! You’re a baby! They marry you off, baby boys, fools, only to be laughingstocks, what jackasses! You’re both of you totally useless, you and your Platonov! What a wretched mess!

VOINITSEV. Nothing will help now, and neither will scolding. She’s not mine any more, and he’s not yours. What more is there to say? Leave me alone, maman! You can’t bear my stupid face!

ANNA PETROVNA. But what’s to be done? We have to do something! We have to save them!

VOINITSEV. Save whom? The only person who needs saving is me . . . They’re happy for the time being . . . (Sighs.)

ANNA PETROVNA. There you go being reasonable! They’re the ones, not you, who have to be saved! Platonov doesn’t love her! Don’t you know that? He seduced her, the way you once seduced that stupid German girl! He doesn’t love her! I assure you! What did she say to you? Why don’t you talk?

VOINITSEV. She said that she is his mistress.

ANNA PETROVNA. She’s his fool, and not his mistress! Shut up! Maybe this can still be fixed . . . Platonov is capable of turning a mere kiss or a squeeze of the hand into a big deal . . . Things haven’t got to the main event with them yet! I’m sure of it . . .

VOINITSEV. They have!

ANNA PETROVNA. You don’t understand a thing.

Enter GREKOVA.

SCENE V

VOINITSEV, ANNA PETROVNA, and GREKOVA.

GREKOVA (enters). So there you are! Good morning! (Offers her hand to Anna Petrovna.) Good morning, Sergey Pavlovich! Forgive me, please, I believe I’m disturbing you . . . An inopportune guest is worse than . . . worse than . . . How does the saying go? Worse than a wild Indian, that’s it . . . I’ll only stay one little minute . . . You just can’t imagine! (Laughs.) I’ve something to show you right away, Anna Petrovna . . . Forgive me, Sergey Pavlovich, we’ll have to keep it a secret . . . (Leads Anna Petrovna aside.) Forgive me . . . (Hands her a note.) I received this yesterday . . . Read it!

ANNA PETROVNA (peruses the note). Ah . . .

GREKOVA. Did you know, I had him served with a writ . . . (Lays her head on Anna’s breast.) Send for him, Anna Petrovna! Have him come here!

ANNA PETROVNA. What do you want to see him for?

GREKOVA. I want to see the look on his face now . . . What’s he look like now? Send for him! Please do! I want to say a few words to him . . . You don’t know what I’ve done! What I’ve done! Don’t listen, Sergey Pavlovich! (In a whisper.) I went to the superintendent . . . They are transferring Mikhail Vasilich to another job at my request . . . What have I done! (Weeps.) Send for him! . . . Who knew that he would write this letter! Ah, if only I had known! My God . . . I’m in pain!

ANNA PETROVNA. Go into the library, my dear! I’ll come to you right away, then we’ll talk about it . . . I have to speak with Sergey Pavlovich in private . . .

GREKOVA. The library? All right . . . But you’ll send for him? What kind of look is on his face after this letter? Have you read it? Let me hide it! (Hides the letter.) My dear, darling . . . I beg of you! I’ll go . . . but you’ll send for him! Don’t listen, Sergey Pavlovich! Let’s talk in German, Anna Petrovna! Schicken Sie, meine Liebe!⁸³

ANNA PETROVNA. All right . . . Just get going!

GREKOVA. All right . . . (Quickly kisses her.) Don’t be angry with me, my dear! I . . . I’m in agony! You can’t imagine! I’m leaving, Sergey Pavlovich! You can go on with your discussion! (Exits.)

ANNA PETROVNA. I’m going to get this sorted out right now . . . Stop fretting! Maybe there’s a way to patch up your family life . . . Dreadful state of affairs! Who could have expected it! I’ll talk things over with Sofya right now! I’ll put her to a proper interrogation . . . You’re wrong and you’re acting silly . . . And yet, no! (Covers her face with her hands.) No, no . . .

VOINITSEV. No! I’m not wrong!

ANNA PETROVNA. Anyway, I’ll talk things over with her . . . And I’ll go and talk things over with him . . .

VOINITSEV. Go and talk! But it’s no use! (Sits behind the desk.) Let’s get out of here! There’s no hope! And no little straws to grasp at . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. I’ll sort this all out right now . . . And you sit there bawling! Go to bed, you great big man! Where’s Sofya?

VOINITSEV. In her room, I suppose . . .

ANNA PETROVNA exits.

SCENE VI

VOINITSEV and then PLATONOV.

VOINITSEV. The depths of despair! How long is this going to drag on? Tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, a week, a month, a year . . . This torment will never end! I should shoot myself.

PLATONOV (enters with his arm in a sling). There he sits . . . Crying, looks like . . .

Pause.

Peace be unto your soul, my poor friend! (Walks over to Voinitsev.) For heaven’s sake, listen to me! I didn’t come to defend my actions . . . It’s not for either of us to judge me . . . I came to make a request not on my behalf, but on yours . . . I ask you as a brother . . . Hate, despise me, think what you like about me, but do not . . . kill yourself! I’m not talking about revolvers, but . . . just in general . . . Your health is poor . . . Grief will do you in . . . I won’t go on living! I’ll kill myself, don’t kill yourself! You want me to die? Want me to stop living?

Pause.

VOINITSEV. I don’t want anything.

Enter ANNA PETROVNA.

SCENE VII

VOINITSEV, PLATONOV, and ANNA PETROVNA.

ANNA PETROVNA. He’s here? (Slowly walks over to Platonov.) Platonov, is it true?

PLATONOV. It’s true.

ANNA PETROVNA. He still dares . . . dares to say it so calmly! It’s true . . . You rotten creature, didn’t you know that this is rotten, despicable?

PLATONOV. Rotten creature . . . Can’t you show a little more courtesy? I knew nothing! All I knew and still do know of this business is that I never wished on him a thousandth part of what he’s going through now!

ANNA PETROVNA. Nevertheless, it shouldn’t keep you, a friend, from knowing that a friend’s wife should not and cannot be a friend’s plaything! (Shouts.) You don’t love her! You were simply bored!

VOINITSEV. Ask him, maman, why he’s come here?

ANNA PETROVNA. Rotten! It’s rotten to play with people! They are the same flesh and blood as you, you extremely clever man!

VOINITSEV (jumps up). He actually came here! The impertinence! Why did you show up here? I know why you showed up, but you won’t dazzle and impress us with your fine-sounding phrases!

PLATONOV. Who do you mean by “us”?

VOINITSEV. Now I know what all those fine-sounding phrases are worth! Leave me in peace! If you came here to expiate your guilt with flowery verbiage, you should know that magniloquent speeches do not expiate guilt!

PLATONOV. If magniloquent speeches do not expiate guilt, then shouting and spitefulness do not establish it, although, as I recall, didn’t I say that I would shoot myself?

VOINITSEV. You won’t expiate your guilt that way! Not by words which I no longer believe! I despise your words! That is how a Russian expiates his guilt! (He points to the window.)

PLATONOV. What’s out there?

VOINITSEV. Out by the well lies a man who has expiated his guilt!

PLATONOV. So I saw . . . Then why are you speechifying, Sergey Pavlovich? After all, I thought you were overwhelmed with grief . . . You wallow in grief and at the same time you ham it up? To what should this be attributed: insincerity or . . . stupidity?

VOINITSEV (sits down). Maman, ask him why he came here?

ANNA PETROVNA. Platonov, what brings you here?

PLATONOV. Ask me yourself, why bother maman? You’ve lost everything! Your wife’s walked out on you—and you’ve lost everything, there’s nothing left! Sophie, as beautiful as a day in May, is an ideal, which eclipses all other ideals! Without a woman a man is like a steam engine without steam! Your life is over, the steam’s evaporated! You’ve lost everything! Honor, and human dignity, and birth and breeding, everything! The end has come!

VOINITSEV. I am not listening. You can leave me out of it!

PLATONOV. Naturally. Don’t insult me, Voinitsev! I didn’t come here to be insulted! Your misery doesn’t give you the right to sling mud at me! I’m a human being, and you should treat me like a human being. You’re unhappy, but you and your unhappiness cannot compare with the sufferings I’ve undergone since you left! It was a horrible night, Voinitsev, after you left! I swear to you humanitarians that your unhappiness isn’t worth one iota of my pain!

ANNA PETROVNA. That may very well be, but who cares about your night, your pain!

PLATONOV. So you don’t care?

ANNA PETROVNA. I assure you that we do not care!

PLATONOV. Really? Stop lying, Anna Petrovna! (Sighs.) But perhaps you’re right to see it that way . . . Perhaps . . . But then where am I to find real people? Whom can I go to? (Hides his face in his hands.) Where are there real people? They don’t understand . . . Don’t understand! Who does understand? Fools, sadists, heartless wretches . . .

VOINITSEV. No, I do understand you! I did understand! It’s out of character, my dear sir, my erstwhile friend, this tugging at our heartstrings! I understand you! You’re a crafty bastard! That’s what you are!

PLATONOV. I forgive you, you idiot, for that remark! Hold your tongue, don’t say any more! (to Anna Petrovna.) What are you hanging around here for, you thrill seeker? Curious? It’s none of your business! We don’t need witnesses!

ANNA PETROVNA. And it’s none of your business, either! You can . . . withdraw! The effrontery of the man! To bespatter, besmirch, and bestrew us with dirt, and then drop in and complain about his pain! What a diplomat! However . . . forgive me! If you don’t want to hear any more of this, then leave! Do us a favor!

VOINITSEV (jumps up). What more does he want of me, I don’t understand! What do you want, what do you expect from me? I don’t understand?

PLATONOV. I can see that you don’t understand . . . It’s a wise man who takes his sorrows not to other people, but to the bottle . . . Wise as can be! (Goes to the door.) I am sorry that I spoke to you, stooped to your level . . . It was stupid of me to consider you decent people . . . You’re all the same . . . savages, coarse, uncouth yokels . . . (Slams the door and exits.)

ANNA PETROVNA (wrings her hands). How nasty . . . Please catch up with him this minute and tell him . . . Tell him that . . .

VOINITSEV. What can I tell him?

ANNA PETROVNA. You’ll find something to tell him . . . Something. Hurry, Serzhel! I implore you! He came here with good intentions! You should have understood him, but you were cruel to him. Hurry, my dearest!

VOINITSEV. I cannot! Leave me alone!

ANNA PETROVNA. But, after all, he’s not the only one to blame! Serzhel, we’re all to blame! We all have passions, we’re all weak . . . Hurry! Say something conciliatory! Show him that you are a man! For heaven’s sake! . . . Well, how about it! Well! Hurry!

VOINITSEV. I’m losing my mind . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. Lose your mind, but don’t you dare insult people! Ah . . . but hurry up, for heaven’s sake! (Weeps.) Sergey!

VOINITSEV. Leave me alone, maman!

ANNA PETROVNA. I’ll go myself . . . Why shouldn’t I run myself? I’ll do it . . .

PLATONOV (enters). Ow! (Sits on the sofa.)

VOINITSEV gets up.

ANNA PETROVNA (aside). What’s wrong with him?

Pause.

PLATONOV. My arm hurts . . . I’m as hungry as a starving dog . . . I’m cold . . . Shivering with fever . . . I’m sick! Can’t you see that I’m sick! I’m losing my life! What do you want from me? What are you after? Isn’t that damned night enough for you?

VOINITSEV (walks over to Platonov). Mikhail Vasilich, let’s forgive one another . . . I . . . But you understand my position . . . Let’s part properly . . .

Pause.

I forgive you . . . Word of honor, I forgive you! And if you could forget it all, I would be as happy as ever! Let’s leave one another in peace!

PLATONOV. Yes.

Pause.

No, I’m falling apart . . . The engine has broken down. I’m awfully sleepy, my eyelids stick together, but I’m unable to sleep . . . I sue for peace, I beg your pardon, I’m guilty, I’ll be still . . . Do whatever you like, and think whatever you choose . . .

VOINITSEV walks away from Platonov and sits at the desk.

PLATONOV. I won’t leave this place, even if you set fire to the house! Anyone who finds my presence distasteful can leave the room . . . (Tries to lie down.) Give me something warm . . . Not to eat, to cover myself with . . . I won’t go home . . . It’s raining outside . . . I’ll lie here.

ANNA PETROVNA (walks over to Platonov). Do go home, Mikhail Vasilich! I’ll come and bring you whatever you need. (Touches him on the shoulder.) Go on! Go home!

PLATONOV. Anyone who finds my presence distasteful can leave the room . . . Let me have a drink of water! I want a drink.

ANNA PETROVNA hands him the carafe.

(Drinks from the carafe.) I’m sick . . . Very sick, my good woman!

ANNA PETROVNA. Go home! . . . (Places a hand on his forehead.) Your head is hot . . . Go home. I’ll send for Triletsky.

PLATONOV (quietly). It’s bad, Your Excellency! Bad . . . Bad . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. And what about me? Go away! I beg of you! You’ve got to go away no matter what! You hear me?

Enter SOFYA YEGOROVNA.

SCENE VIII

The same and SOFYA YEGOROVNA.

SOFYA YEGOROVNA (enters). Be so kind as to take back your money! What’s the point of this generosity? I already told you, I believe . . . (On seeing Platonov.) You . . . here? Why are you here?

Pause.

That’s peculiar . . . What are you doing here?

PLATONOV. Talking to me?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Yes, you!

ANNA PETROVNA. Let’s go, Sergey! (Exits and a minute later reenters on tiptoe and sits in a corner.)

PLATONOV. It’s all over, Sofya!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Is that right?

PLATONOV. Yes, that’s right . . . We’ll talk about it later.

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Mikhail Vasilich! What do you mean by . . . all?

PLATONOV. I don’t need anything, love or hate, just leave me in peace! I beg of you . . . And I don’t even want to talk . . . What we’ve had is good enough for me . . . For pity’s sake . . .

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. What is he saying?

PLATONOV. I’m saying I’ve had enough. I don’t need a new life. And there’s nowhere to go with the old one . . . I don’t need anything!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA (shrugs her shoulders). I don’t understand . . .

PLATONOV. You don’t understand? Our liaison is over, that’s what!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. You’re not going to go away, is that it?

PLATONOV. There’s no need to turn pale, Sofya . . . I mean Sofya Yegorovna!⁸⁴

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. You’re worming out of it?

PLATONOV. Looks like it . . .

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. You bastard! (Weeps.)

PLATONOV. I know . . . I’ve heard it a thousand times . . . We should talk about it later and . . . in private.

SOFYA YEGOROVNA sobs.

You should go to your room! The most pointless thing about unhappiness is tears . . . It was meant to happen and it happened . . . Nature has her laws, and our life . . . has its logic . . . It happened quite logically . . .

Pause.

SOFYA YEGOROVNA (sobs). What’s this got to do with me? What does it matter to me, to my life, which you took from me, that you lost interest? What’s this got to do with me? Don’t you love me any more?

PLATONOV. You’ll console yourself somehow . . . At least, for instance, won’t you let this affair be a lesson to you for the future?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Not a lesson, but a ruination! You dare to say this? It’s despicable!

PLATONOV. What are you crying for? I find this all so . . . revolting! (Shouts.) I’m sick!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. He swore, he begged, he began it first, and now he’s come here! I disgust you? You only wanted me for two weeks? I hate you! I can’t look at you! Get out of here! (Sobs more violently.)

ANNA PETROVNA. Platonov!

PLATONOV. Huh?

ANNA PETROVNA. Get out of here!

PLATONOV gets up and slowly goes to the door.

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Wait . . . Don’t leave! Do you . . . mean it? Maybe, you’re not sober . . . Sit down a while and think it over! (Clutches him by the shoulder.)

PLATONOV. I’ve already sat and thought. Wash your hands of me, Sofya Yegorovna! I’m not the man for you! I’ve been rotting for so long, my soul’s turned into a skeleton so long ago there’s no rebirth possible for me! Better bury me at a distance, so I won’t pollute the air! Believe me one last time!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA (wrings her hands). What am I to do now? What am I to do? Teach me! After all, I’m dying! I won’t survive this vileness! I won’t survive another five minutes! I’ll kill myself . . . (Sits in an armchair that stands in a corner.) What are you doing to me? (Goes into hysterics.)

VOINITSEV (walks over to Sofya Yegorovna). Sophie!

ANNA PETROVNA. God knows what’s going on! Calm down, Sophie! Get her some water, Sergey!

VOINITSEV. Sophie! Don’t kill yourself . . . Stop it! (To Platonov.) What are you waiting around here for, Mikhail Vasilich? Get going, for heaven’s sake!

ANNA PETROVNA. That’ll do, Sophie, that’ll do! That’s enough!

PLATONOV (walks over to Sofya Yegorovna). What’s this for? Dear, dear . . . (Quickly walks away.) Idiocy!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Get away from me! All of you! I don’t need your help! (to Anna Petrovna.) Get away! I hate you! I know who I can thank for all of this! You won’t get away with it!

ANNA PETROVNA. Ssh . . . It’s not right to start name calling.

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. If it hadn’t been for your corrupting influence over him, he wouldn’t have destroyed me! (Sobs.) Get away! (to Voinitsev.) And you . . . you go away too!

VOINITSEV walks away, sits at the desk, and puts his head in his hands.

ANNA PETROVNA (to Platonov). Go away from here, I tell you! You’re being wonderfully idiotic today! What more do you want?

PLATONOV (covers his ears). Where am I to go? I’m frozen stiff . . . (Goes to the door.) The sooner I go to hell the better . . .

Enter TRILETSKY.

SCENE IX

The same and TRILETSKY.

TRILETSKY (in the doorway). I’ll give you such an announcing your own mother won’t recognize you!

YAKOV’S VOICE. The master ordered it . . .

TRILETSKY. Go and kiss your master you-know-where! He’s as big a blockhead as you are! (Enters.) Don’t tell me he’s not here? (Falls on to the sofa.) Dreadful! This . . . this . . . this . . . (Jumps up.) Ugh! (to Platonov.) The tragedy is reaching its climax, tragedian! Its climax, sir!

PLATONOV. Whad’you want?

TRILETSKY. What are you doing around here? Where have you been hanging out, wretch? Aren’t you ashamed, how could you? Spouting philosophy here? Delivering sermons?

PLATONOV. Talk like a human being, Nikolay! Whad’you want?

TRILETSKY. It’s inhuman! (Sits and hides his face in his hands.) A disaster, what a disaster! Who would have expected it?

PLATONOV. What’s happened?

TRILETSKY. What’s happened? You really don’t know? Do you care at all? Have you got the time?

ANNA PETROVNA. Nikolay Ivanych!

PLATONOV. Is it Sasha or what? Speak, Nikolay! That’s all I need! What’s wrong with her?

TRILETSKY. She poisoned herself with sulphur matches!

PLATONOV. What are you saying?

TRILETSKY (shouts). She poisoned herself with sulphur matches!⁸⁵ (Jumps up.) Here, read! Read! (Puts a note in front of his face.) Read, philosopher!

PLATONOV (reads). “It’s a sin to pray for suicides, but pray for me. I’ve taken my life because I’m ill. Misha, love Kolya and my brother, the way I love you. Take care of father. Live according to the law. Kolya, God bless you, as I bless you with a mother’s blessing. Forgive a sinful woman. The key to Misha’s chest of drawers is in my wool dress” . . . My precious! A sinful woman! Her a sinful woman! That’s all I needed! (Clutches his head.) She took poison . . .

Pause.

She took poison . . . Where is she? Listen! I’ll go to her! (Tears off his sling.) I . . . I’ll revive her!

TRILETSKY (lies face down on the sofa). Before reviving her, you shouldn’t have killed her!

PLATONOV. Killed . . . Why, you lunatic, did you say . . . that word? Do you think I killed her? Do you . . . do you think I wanted her death? (Weeps.) She took poison . . . That’s all I needed, to be crushed beneath a wheel, like a dog! If this is a punishment, then . . . (shakes his fist) it’s a cruel, immoral punishment! No, this is more than I can handle! Much more! What’s it for? Let’s say I’m a sinner, a miserable wretch . . . but all the same I’m still alive!

Pause.

Look at me now, all of you! Look! Do you like what you see?

TRILETSKY (leaps up). Yes, yes, yes . . . Now let’s have a good cry . . . By the way, your eyes are in a perpetual state of damp . . . You should get a good hiding! Put on your cap! Let’s go! Husband! Loving husband! Destroyed a woman for no reason at all, no reason at all! Brought her to that point! And these folks are entertaining him here! They like him! An eccentric fellow, an interesting subject, with an expression of mournful nobility in his face! And traces of former good looks! Let’s get going! You’ll see what you’ve done, conversation piece, eccentric!

PLATONOV. No words . . . no words . . . I don’t need words!

TRILETSKY. It’s lucky for you, you butcher, that I stopped by your house before daybreak! Why, what would have happened, if I hadn’t stopped by, if I hadn’t come in the nick of time? She would have died! Do you understand this or don’t you? Ordinarily you understand everything, except the most ordinary things! Oh, I would have given it to you then! I wouldn’t have stood and gazed at your pathetic facial expressions! If only you had wagged your damned tongue less and listened more, this disaster wouldn’t have occurred! I wouldn’t trade her for ten such clever fellows as you! Let’s go!

VOINITSEV. Stop shouting! Ah . . . I’m so sick and tired of all of you . . .

TRILETSKY. Let’s go!

PLATONOV. Hold on . . . So she . . . isn’t dead, you’re saying?

TRILETSKY. Would you like her to be dead?

PLATONOV (shrieks). She isn’t dead! I can’t understand how . . . She isn’t dead? (Embraces Triletsky.) She’s alive? (Roars with laughter.) Alive!

ANNA PETROVNA. I don’t understand! . . .Triletsky, please talk sense! Today for some reason they’re all exceptionally stupid! What’s the meaning of this letter?

TRILETSKY. She did write this letter . . . If it hadn’t been for me, she would have had time to die . . . And now she’s awfully sick! I don’t know whether her system can take it . . . Oh, just let her die, and then . . . Get away from me, please!

PLATONOV. You gave me such a fright! My God! She’s still alive! Which means, you didn’t let her die? My dear fellow! (Kisses Triletsky.) Dear man! (Roars with laughter.) I didn’t believe in medicine, but now I even believe in you! How is she now? Weak? Ailing? But we’ll get her on her feet!

TRILETSKY. Will she pull through?

PLATONOV. She will! If she can’t, I’ll do it for her! Why didn’t you say straight out that she’s alive? Anna Petrovna! Dear lady! A glass of cold water, and I’m happy! Forgive me, ladies and gentlemen, all of you! Anna Petrovna! I’m losing my mind! . . . (Kisses Anna Petrovna’s hand.) Sasha’s alive . . . Water, water . . . my dear lady!

ANNA PETROVNA exits with the empty carafe and a minute later reenters with water.

(To Triletsky.) Let’s go to her! On her feet, on her feet! Ransack all medicine from Hippocrates⁸⁶ to Triletsky! We’ll turn it all inside-out! Who should be living on this earth if not her? Let’s go! But no . . . wait a bit! My head’s spinning . . . . I’m awfully sick . . . Hold on . . . (Sits on the sofa.) I’ll rest and then we’ll go . . . She’s very weak?

TRILETSKY. Very . . . He’s overjoyed! What he’s overjoyed about I don’t understand!

ANNA PETROVNA. I was frightened too. You should have spoken more clearly! Drink this! (Gives Platonov some water.)

PLATONOV (drinks greedily). Thank you, kind lady! I’m a villain, a deep-dyed villain! (to Triletsky.) Sit beside me! (Triletsky sits.) You’re exhausted too . . . Thank you, friend. Did she take a lot?

TRILETSKY. Enough to send her to the next world.

PLATONOV. What a girl . . . Well, thank God. My arm hurts . . . Let me have another drink. I’m awfully sick myself, Nikolay! Can hardly keep my wits about me . . . Look how I’m about to fall over . . . I suppose I’ve got a temperature. Toy soldiers in calico uniforms and pointy little caps keep flashing before my eyes . . . Yellow and green all around . . . Prescribe me some chinini sulphurici . . .⁸⁷

TRILETSKY. I should prescribe you a good hundred lashes!

PLATONOV (roars with laughter). Joker, joker . . . Sometimes I do laugh at your witticisms. Are you my brother-in-law or my wife’s brother? My God, how sick I am! You can’t imagine how sick I am!

TRILETSKY takes his pulse.

ANNA PETROVNA (quietly to Triletsky). Take him away, Nikolay Ivanych! I’ll come to see you myself today, I’ll have a word with Aleksandra Ivanovna. What was she thinking of to scare us like that? Is she in danger?

TRILETSKY. It’s hard to say as yet. She didn’t manage to poison herself, but on the whole . . . she’s in a bad way.

PLATONOV. What did you give her?

TRILETSKY. What was appropriate. (Gets up.) Let’s go!

PLATONOV. And what did you give the General’s lady just now?

TRILETSKY. You’re delirious . . . Let’s go!

PLATONOV. Let’s go . . . (Gets up.) Sergey Pavlovich! Let it go! (Sits down.) Let it go! What are you so down in the mouth about? As if they’d stolen the sun from the earth! And yet there was a time he studied philosophy! Be a Socrates!⁸⁸ Eh? Sergey Pavlovich! (Quietly.) However, I myself don’t know what to say . . .

TRILETSKY (puts his hand on Platonov’s head). You had to get sick on top of everything else! Although to purge your conscience a little sickness wouldn’t hurt!

ANNA PETROVNA. Platonov, go, for heaven’s sake! Send to town for other doctors . . . A second opinion wouldn’t hurt . . . Actually, I’ll send for them myself, don’t worry about it . . . Comfort Aleksandra Ivanovna!

PLATONOV. Anna Petrovna, there’s a baby grand crawling down your bosom! Ridiculous! (Laughs.) Ridiculous! Sit down, Nikolay, and play something on it! . . . (Roars with laughter.) Ridiculous! I’m sick, Nikolay . . . I’m speaking seriously . . . No kidding . . . Let’s go!

Enter IVAN IVANOVICH.

SCENE X

The same and IVAN IVANOVICH.

IVAN IVANOVICH (unkempt, in a dressing gown). My Sasha! (Weeps.)

TRILETSKY. All we needed was you and your tears! Get out of here! Why’ve you come a-running?

IVAN IVANOVICH. She’s dying! She wants the last rites! I’m scared, I’m scared . . . Ugh, I’m so scared! (Walks over to Platonov.) Mishenka! I implore you in the name of God and all His saints! Dear, clever, handsome, honorable man! Go and tell her that you love her! Give up all these lousy love affairs! I implore you on bended knee! She’s really dying! She’s my only daughter . . . my only one! If she dies . . . I’ll drop dead before the priest can get there! You tell her that you love her, you admit she’s your wife! Calm her down, for Christ’s sake! Mishenka! Lying can be a way to salvation . . . God will see that you are righteous, but lie to save your nearest and dearest! Let’s go, do me the favor! You’ll grant this favor to me, an old man, for Christ’s sake! A hundredfold will the Lord reward you! I’m all a-tremble, I’m a-tremble with fear!

PLATONOV. Already had time to hit the bottle, Colonel? (Laughs.) We’ll cure Sasha and have a drink together! Ah, how I want a drink!

IVAN IVANOVICH. Let’s go, most noble . . . most just! You say two words to her, and she’ll be saved! Drugs are no use, when it’s the mental psychiatrics that’re suffering!

TRILETSKY. Come out of here, Father, for just a minute! (Takes his father by the arm.) Who told you that she’s dying? Where did you get that idea? She’s quite out of danger! You wait in that room. We’ll go with him to see her right away. You should be ashamed to barge into somebody else’s house like this!

IVAN IVANOVICH (to Anna Petrovna). You did a bad thing, Diana! God won’t forgive you! He’s a young man, inexperienced . . .

TRILETSKY (shoves him into the next room). Wait in there! (To Platonov.) Are you ready to go?

PLATONOV. I’m awfully sick . . . I’m sick, Nikolay!

TRILETSKY. Are you ready to go, I’m asking you, yes or no?

PLATONOV (gets up). Not so many words . . . What can I do so my mouth won’t be so dry? Let’s go . . . I think I came here without a cap . . . (Sits down.) Look for my cap!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. He should have foreseen this. I gave myself to him, without a second thought . . . I knew that I was killing my husband, but I . . . for his sake I stopped at nothing! (Rises and walks over to Platonov.) What have you done to me? (Sobs.)

TRILETSKY (clutches his head). Call an inquest! (Walks up and down the stage.)

ANNA PETROVNA. Calm down, Sophie! It’s not the time . . . He’s sick.

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Is it possible, is it humane to turn a human life into a joke this way? (Sits next to Platonov.) After all my whole life is ruined now . . . I’m no longer alive . . . Save me, Platonov! It’s not too late! Platonov, it’s not too late!

Pause.

ANNA PETROVNA (weeps). Sophie . . . What do you want? There’ll be a time for this . . . What can he say to you now? Didn’t you hear . . . didn’t you hear?

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Platonov . . . I beg of you one more time . . . (Sobs.) No?

PLATONOV moves away from her.

Never mind . . . That’s all right . . . (Falls to her knees.) Platonov!

ANNA PETROVNA. This is going too far, Sophie! Don’t you dare do this! Nobody’s worth . . . kneeling to . . . (Raises her up and seats her.) You are . . . a woman!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA (sobs). Tell him . . . Explain . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. Summon up all your strength of character . . . You have to be . . . firm . . . You’re a woman! There . . . that’s enough! Go to your room!

Pause.

Go on, go to bed . . . (to Triletsky.) Nikolay Ivanovich! What’s to be done?

TRILETSKY. You’d better ask dear little Mishenka about that! (Walks up and down the stage.)

ANNA PETROVNA. Put her to bed! Sergey! Nikolay Ivanovich! Please help me, at last!

VOINITSEV rises and walks over to Sofya Yegorovna.

TRILETSKY. Let’s take her there. I’ll have to give her a sedative.

ANNA PETROVNA. At this moment I could take chloroform myself . . . (To Triletsky.) Be a man, Sergey! Don’t you lose your head at least! I don’t feel any better than you, but even so . . . I’m standing on my two feet . . . Let’s go, Sophie! What a day this turned out to be . . .

They lead out SOFYA YEGOROVNA.

Brace up, Serzhel! Let’s behave like real people!

VOINITSEV. I’ll make an effort, maman. I’ll take heart . . .

TRILETSKY. Don’t fret, Sergey old pal! One way or another we’ll pull you through! You’re not the first, and you won’t be the last!

VOINITSEV. I’ll make an effort . . . Yes, I’ll make an effort . . .

They leave.

SCENE XI

PLATONOV, then GREKOVA.

PLATONOV (alone). A cigarette, Nikolay, and some water! (Looks around.) They’re not here? I’d better leave . . .

Pause.

I’ve destroyed, snuffed out weak women, who weren’t to blame for anything . . . It wouldn’t have been so pathetic, if I’d killed them some other way, driven by monstrous passions, sort of Spanish style, but I killed them just like that . . . any stupid old way, Russian style . . . (Waves his hand in front of his eyes.) Mouches volantes . . .⁸⁹ Little clouds . . . I suppose I’m getting delirious . . . Crushed, squashed, flattened . . . When was the last time I put up a bold front? (Hides his face in his hands.) Shame, stinging shame . . . I’m sick with shame! (Gets up.) I was hungry, cold, worn out, dead beat, a phony in everything I did, when I came to this house . . . They gave me a warm corner, clothed me, lavished affection on me . . . Quite a nice payback I’ve given them! But then I’m sick . . . I feel bad . . . I should kill myself . . . (Walks over to the desk.) Take your pick, there’s a whole arsenal . . . (Picks up a revolver.) Hamlet was afraid to dream . . . I’m afraid to . . . live! What’s next if I go on living? Shame would devour me . . . (Puts the revolver to his temple.) Finita la commedia!⁹⁰ One less learnèd pig! Christ, forgive me my sins!

Pause.

Well? Instant death, in other words . . . Hurt, arm, as much as you like now . . .

Pause.

Not up to it!! (Puts the pistol on the desk.) I want to live . . . (Sits on the sofa.) I want to live . . . (GREKOVA enters.) Should have some water . . . Where is Triletsky? (On seeing Grekova.) Who’s that? Ha, ha, ha . . . (Laughs.) My worst enemy . . . Shall we go to court tomorrow?

Pause.

GREKOVA. But, naturally, after that letter we are no longer enemies.

PLATONOV. It doesn’t matter. Any water?

GREKOVA. You want water? What’s wrong with you?

PLATONOV. I’m sick . . . I’m about to have a temperature . . . I liked it. Clever. But it would have been even cleverer, if you had stayed away from me entirely . . . I wanted to shoot myself . . . (Laughs.) Didn’t manage it . . . Instinct . . . Your mind goes one way, your nature another . . . Sharp eyes! Are you a clever girl? (Kisses her hand.) Your hand’s cold . . . Listen . . . You want to help me out?

GREKOVA. Yes, yes, yes . . .

PLATONOV. Take me to your place! I’m sick, I want a drink, I’m in horrible, unbearable pain! I want to sleep, but there’s nowhere to lie down . . . Even if I’ve only got a shed, just a corner, water and . . . a bit of quinine. For pity’s sake! (Holds out his hand.)

GREKOVA. Let’s go! I’ll be glad to! . . . You can live with me, as long as you like . . . You still don’t know what I’ve done! Let’s go!

PLATONOV. Merci, clever little girl . . . A cigarette, water, and a bed! Is it raining out?

GREKOVA. It is.

PLATONOV. We’ll have to drive through the rain . . . We won’t go to court. Peace! (Looks at her.) Am I delirious?

GREKOVA. Just a bit. Let’s go! My carriage is covered.

PLATONOV. A pretty little thing . . . What are you blushing for? I won’t touch. I’ll kiss your cold little hand . . . (Kisses her hand and draws her to him.)

GREKOVA (sits on his lap). No . . . It isn’t proper . . . (Gets up.) Let’s go . . . Your face looks so strange . . . Let go of my hand!

PLATONOV. I’m sick. (Gets up.) Let’s go . . . On the cheek . . . (Kisses her on the cheek.) Without any ulterior motives. I can’t . . . Anyway, what nonsense. Let’s go, Marya Yefimovna! And, for pity’s sake, as fast as you can! I wanted to shoot myself with that . . . that revolver over there . . . On the cheek . . . (Kisses her on the cheek.) I’m delirious, but I see your face . . . I love all people! All of ‘em! I even love you . . . . People were for me the most precious thing of all . . . I didn’t mean to offend anybody, but I offended them all . . . All of ‘em . . . (Kisses her hand.)

GREKOVA. I understood it all . . . I understand your situation . . . Sophie . . . right?

PLATONOV. Sophie, Zizi, Mimi, Masha . . . Lots of you . . . I love ‘em all . . . When I was at the university, I used to go to Theatre Square⁹¹ and sweettalk the fallen women . . . Most people go to the theater, and I go to the square . . . I bought out Raisa . . . I collected three hundred smackers from the students and bought out another girl . . . Shall I show you her letters?

GREKOVA. What’s come over you?

PLATONOV. You think I’ve lost my mind? No, it’s just how it is . . . Delirious raving . . . Ask Triletsky . . . (Takes her by the shoulder.) And everybody loves me . . . Everybody! You insult ‘em, every now and then, but they . . . love you . . . Grekova, for instance, I insulted her, shoved her up against a table, and she . . . loves me. You, though, are that Grekova . . . Sorry . . .

GREKOVA. Where does it hurt?

PLATONOV. Platonov hurts. Do you really love me? Love me? Frankly . . . I don’t want anything . . . Now just you tell me, do you love me?

GREKOVA. Yes . . . (Lays her head on his chest. .) Yes . . .

PLATONOV (kisses her on the head). Everybody loves me . . . When I get better, I’ll seduce you . . . First the sweet talk, and then I’ll seduce you . . .

GREKOVA. It doesn’t matter . . . I don’t want anything else . . . You’re the only . . . man for me. I don’t want to know any others! Do what you want with me . . . You . . . you’re the only man for me! (Weeps.)

PLATONOV. I understand why Oedipus the King gouged out his eyes.⁹² I’m so vile and I recognize how vile I am so profoundly! Get away from me! It’s not worth it . . . I’m sick. (Extricates himself.) I’ll leave right now . . . Forgive me, Mariya Yefimovna! I’m losing my mind! Where’s Triletsky?

Enter SOFYA YEGOROVNA.

SCENE XII

The same and SOFYA YEGOROVNA.

SOFYA YEGOROVNA walks over to the desk and rummages through it.

GREKOVA (grabs Platonov by the hand). Ssh . . .

Pause.

SOFYA YEGOROVNA picks up a revolver, fires at Platonov, and misses.

(Stands between Platonov and Sofya Yegorovna.) What are you doing? (Shouts.) Get in here! Get in here quickly!

SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Let me at him . . . (Runs around Grekova and shoots Platonov in the chest, point-blank.)

PLATONOV. Hold on, hold on . . . What’s going on? (Falls.)

ANNA PETROVNA, IVAN IVANOVICH, TRILETSKY, and VOINITSEV run in.

SCENE XIII

The same, ANNA PETROVNA, IVAN IVANOVICH, TRILETSKY, VOINITSEV, then the servants and MARKO.

ANNA PETROVNA (pulls the revolver away from Sofya Yegorovna and tosses it on the sofa). Platonov! (Bends over Platonov.)

VOINITSEV covers his face and turns to the door.

TRILETSKY (bends over Platonov and hurriedly unbuttons his frockcoat. Pause.) Mikhail Vasilich! Can you hear me?

Pause.

ANNA PETROVNA. For heaven’s sake, Platonov! Michel . . . Michel! Hurry, Triletsky . . .

TRILETSKY (shouts). Water!

GREKOVA (hands him the carafe). Save him! You must save him! (Paces up and down the stage.)

TRILETSKY drinks the water and tosses the carafe aside.

IVAN IVANOVICH (clutches his head). Now didn’t I say that I’d drop dead? Well I’m dropping dead! Watch me drop dead! (Falls to his knees.) Almighty God! I’m dropping dead . . . Watch me drop dead . . .

YAKOV, VASILY, KATYA, and the COOK run in.

MARKO (enters). From the Justice of the Peace, sir . . .

Pause.

ANNA PETROVNA. Platonov!

PLATONOV raises himself and runs his eyes over them all.

Platonov . . . It’s nothing . . . Have some water!

PLATONOV (points to Marko). Give him a three-spot! (Falls and dies.)

ANNA PETROVNA. Brace up, Sergey! All this shall pass. Nikolay Ivanovich . . . All this shall pass . . . Brace up . . .

KATYA (bows at the feet of Anna Petrovna). It’s all my fault! I brought the note! The money tempted me, madam! Forgive me, a miserable creature!

ANNA PETROVNA. Be strong . . . Why lose our heads? He’s only a bit . . . He’ll get over it . . .

TRILETSKY (shouts). He’s dead!

ANNA PETROVNA. No, no . . .

GREKOVA sits at the desk, stares at the slip of paper and weeps bitterly.

IVAN IVANOVICH. May he rest in peace . . . Dropped dead . . . Dropped dead . . .

TRILETSKY. Life’s a kopek! Good-bye, Mishka! You’ve lost your kopek! What are you staring at? He shot himself! The party’s over! (Weeps.) Who am I going to drink with at your wake now? Oh, the fools! They couldn’t protect Platonov! (Rises.) Father, go tell Sasha that she can die now! (Swaying, he walks over to Voinitsev.) What about you? Hey! (Embraces Voinitsev.) Platoshka’s dead! (Sobs.)

VOINITSEV. What’s to be done, Nikolay?

TRILETSKY. Bury the dead and repair the living!

ANNA PETROVNA (slowly rises and goes to Sofya Yegorovna). Calm down, Sophie! (Sobs.) What have you done? But . . . but . . . calm down! (To Tril-etsky.) Don’t say anything to Aleksandra Ivanovna, Nikolay Ivanych! I’ll tell her myself! (Goes to Platonov and falls to her knees before him.) Platonov! My life! I don’t believe it! I don’t believe it! Are you really dead? (Takes him by the hand.) My life!

TRILETSKY. Get to work, Seryozha! Let’s help your wife, and then . . .

VOINITSEV. Yes, yes, yes . . . (Goes to Sofya Yegorovna.)

IVAN IVANOVICH. The Lord has forsaken us . . . For our sins . . . For my sins . . . Why did you sin, you old clown? Killed God’s creatures, got drunk, talked dirty, sat in judgment . . . The Lord lost patience and struck you down.

End of Act Four

VARIANTS TO

Untitled Play

These come from an earlier autograph manuscript of the play.

page 6 / After: SHCHERBUK – VEROCHKA, 40

his daughters

LIZOCHKA, 25

ACT ONE

page 9 / After: you never stop eating! — Let’s take this morning, for instance . . . I was watching you and was amazed . . . Two glasses of tea, then a huge slice of beef, five eggs, two cups of coffee, about ten slices of toast . . .

page 9 / After: in corpore sano¹ — as my teacher used to say, and he spoke the truth, if you don’t take into consideration the fact that his healthy ox’s head held a very feeble brain . . .

page 9 / After: That’s right, ma’am . . . — But you’ve got a Lenten face on today . . . You should smear it with butter . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. That’s flat, Nikolay Ivanych, very flat! Nothing funny about it, my charmer!

TRILETSKY. Never mind, ma’am . . .

Pause.

page 10 / After: down shady lanes — I bicker with her.

page 11 / After: Got her wits about her . . . — Not like our stupid little girls . . .

page 11 / After: I suppose so. — I don’t understand it myself. I wish someone would help . . .

page 11 / After: A marvelous creature . . . — She’s frittering away her whole life in one place, living out her years along with all these antediluvian, bird-brained Katechkas, Lizochkas, Matryoshas, who . . . who can’t hold a candle to her! Damn it, it’s offensive!

page 11 / After: ANNA PETROVNA. — No . . . what a tone! This is the first time I’ve heard you go on like this. This is very nice . . . So your little honey knows how to get a rise out of you!

page 11 / After: Whichever way it turns out . . . — We’ll get married, Kolichka!

page 11 / After: affairs. — And besides you’re a close friend . . .

page 12 / After: Pause. —

ANNA PETROVNA. If, contrary to expectation you don’t want to get married, but play around, have a little fun, then . . . don’t you dare touch her! You hear me? I’ll curse you out, I’ll make your life a misery, I’ll come to hate you! You should stick to your Katyas, Lizas, and Matyoshas. I’ll find it out, if there’s anything like that . . .

TRILETSKY. All right . . .

page 12 / After: Platonov hangs around here. — and your Platonov is no more than a pig.

page 12 / After: still asleep. — Nowadays he sleeps more than he lives.

page 13 / Before: We had friends as well — I’m not saying that we were perfect.

Pause.

page 13 / After: literary circles — with real people running them

page 13 / After: Don’t be silly, Nikolya! — And would you go through fire for your enemies, Porfiry Semyonovich?

page 14 / After: no laughing matter! — It’s annoying, honest to God! You come up with things for an outdoors party, you write a beautiful Demosthenic speech,² you contribute to some newsrag, and you make a fuss all over again . . .

page 15 / After: concession! — Lucky for us that we know that your concessions make a total hash of your arguments! . . . You’re always making concessions . . .

page 15 / After: I didn’t say . . . —

VOINITSEV (laughs). Lucky for us that you don’t have the strength, my dear fellow, lucky for us that you are not called to punish and instruct those who don’t know how to be indignant and to despise! Lucky for you, as well! One should proceed from words to deeds, but your deeds would be a rude mistake . . . You would wreak havoc, despite the fact that you are the finest, kindest of men . . . First one should verify by deeds, feel, see, and only then speak . . .

page 16 / After: in this world! — Zoy mus man leben oyf der velt, mayn liber porits!³

page 17 / After: Nice instrument. — (Sings.)

Et j’frotte, frotte,

Et allez donc

Vient un monde

A la maison . . .⁴

page 18 / After: to spend with him. —

TRILETSKY. Why don’t you like him, Abram Abramych? Why don’t you care for the poor fellow?

VENGEROVICH SR. Who told you that I don’t care for him? He’s a splendid young man . . . But then again, I don’t like him because he’s so faultfinding, hotheaded . . . But then again you don’t like him either, it’s not just me!

page 19 / Before: You cruel, discourteous creature — What are you on about?

page 21 / After: my darling. — Don’t be a guitar, you’d die of boredom.

page 21 / After: Merci. —

ANNA PETROVNA. Is your little boy well?

They light cigarettes.

SASHA. He is. He’s already starting to walk . . .

page 21 / After: Got married and didn’t say a word! — I would have reminded him, if we weren’t such bears!

page 21 / After: all the best, all the best! — Later I’ll tell you of what!

page 21 / After: she’s stupid! —

VOINITSEV. Yes’m, Aleksandra Ivanovna! I’ve settled down, as you see, and become a solid citizen. And all because I got married . . .

SASHA. That’s only natural that’s the reason.

VOINITSEV. I’ve had it, I think to myself, with loafing around on my own, I’ll do what Aleksandra Ivanovna suggests. I’ll go and get married, I think! So I made up my mind . . .

SASHA. And you did the right thing, Sergey Pavlovich! Now you’re going to be happy. Now you’ll live the right way, you’ll learn about the very best aspect of life!

VOINITSEV. I always confided my secrets to you and I’ll go on confiding them, Aleksandra Ivanovna! Happy up to my eyebrows! I feel as if I’m in not seventh, but forty-seventh heaven! And I’m so glad that I did something to please you I can’t find the words! I didn’t always please you in the past, but now I see that I’ve pleased you.

PLATONOV. Well, there’s no better way to please her than to get married. She’s crazy about weddings!

SASHA. I don’t love weddings, I love order. The way I see it, when the time comes to get married, you get married. Loafing around with nothing to do is sinful and far from clever. You’ve pleased me a lot, Sergey Pavlovich! Thank you!

page 22 / After: three whole years! Eh? — To graduate from the university and kill time! I don’t understand you, gentlemen! I definitely do not understand you! What are you waiting for?

VOINITSEV. I don’t have to work at a prep school! I’m not starving to death, I don’t feel any special calling for the teaching profession, I’m not going to die any time soon . . . What’s the rush? (Laughs.) Let’s not talk about it.

ANNA PETROVNA. Anyone who doesn’t mind loafing for three years, of course, is going to have no trouble loafing for ten or even twenty . . . But let’s change the subject.

page 23 / Replace: I do not like the fact . . . Russian scoundrel!

with: It’s painful to remember, dear Porfiry Semyonych! His illness, death, creditors, the sale of the estate . . . and to all this add in our enmity . . . It’s horrible! . . . His death was bestial, inhuman . . . The man died as only a man could die who was a lecher to the marrow of his bones, rich in his lifetime, a beggar at his death, a man with a defective mind and an unbearable temper . . . I had the misfortune to be present at his demise: he lost his temper, cursed and swore, wept, roared with laughter . . . He contorted his face, he balled his fists and looked around for his flunkies’ ugly mugs . . . From his eyes flowed the champagne, once drunk by him and his parasites on the money of those who wore rags and ate mush . . . I made an effort to get him to make a confession . . . I was supposed to begin my talk in a pious tone, I remember . . . I reminded him of those he had flogged, insulted, raped, I reminded him of the Sebastopol campaign,⁵ when he, along with other patriots, shamelessly robbed his nation . . . And I reminded him of something else . . . And he stared me in such amazement! He was surprised, burst out laughing . . . What crap, and I quote, are you spouting! To be a hard-bitten scoundrel and at the same time not to want to admit it— that’s the terrible characteristic of the Russian scoundrel!

page 23 / After: excuses for the dead . . . — I’m sitting at his bedside . . . It’s stuffy, dark all around . . . All around poverty after wealth, dirty, untidy, everything flung about over . . . Playing cards scattered underfoot, whisky bottles rolling around . . . A drunken orderly snoring in the hall . . . He’s making faces . . . A depression chokes me, a horrible depression, never in my life will I forget that depression! It all starts to make me sick, turns my hair gray . . . Here they are on my temples, those gray hairs . . . Remarkable those gray hairs! I often see them on my contemporaries! . . . The ideas that wandered through my mind! If I had known then how to write down those thoughts and could read them to you now, you would say that life is disgusting to very last detail. And he turned gray too after he died . . . He turned gray from viciousness . . . “We’re beggars now, Mishka,” he says, “we’re dying! . . . And where are my friends now, what’s become of them? Where are they? Where now are those highnesses, excellencies, honors, whose presence once made the glasses tremble, the tables turn pale and the flies run for cover? Where? The quality don’t want beggars, not them, don’t want dying men, but rich and depraved idiots!” So he says, and gnashes his teeth . . .

page 24 / After: Never been sick a day in my life . . . — My heart once ached on account of the female sex, but that ailment doesn’t need cough drops and drugs . . .

page 24 / After: a wonderful double-barrel! — Damned if there’s a better one!

page 26 / After: Spare us, please. —

TRILETSKY. And your wife’s got so plump! (Looks at Sasha through his fist.) Short and stout . . . In a year’s time she’ll be round as a ball.

SASHA. When are you going to stop talking nonsense!

TRILETSKY. Never . . . You’re getting fat, sister! My congratulations! (To Platonov.) You must be feeding her well. Which means you’re a honest man! Is your Kolka all right? (Gets up and sits next to Ivan Ivanovich.)

SASHA. He is.

Enter PETRIN and VENGEROVICH SR.

page 26 / Before: If you have tears, — It’s a long time since I’ve seen him. I suppose he’s become quite big for a little boy.

page 28 / After: In the first place . . . — I have beheld the groceries, and therefore I can inform you . . .

page 29 / After: have time to make acquaintances? — I won’t tell her anything, but I don’t think she knows yet that we’re are being visited by a certain Platonov . . . If she does, she will probably recognize you.

page 30 / After: I do find it strange! —

PLATONOV. I don’t see anything strange about it. It would have been strange, if it were someone besides Abram Abramych who crawls into other people’s purses and other people’s envelopes . . . He’s a specialist at that sort of thing.

SASHA tugs Platonov by the sleeve.

GLAGOLYEV SR. I’m not saying that . . . But . . . don’t get involved, Mikhail Vasilich!

VENGEROVICH SR. I may be a swindler, but I tend to take offense when someone qualifies me by the name swindler . . . Therefore I ask . . .

PLATONOV. Don’t ask, please! I understand you . . .

VENGEROVICH SR. Excellent, then. Since we understand one another, we will not stoop to behaving foolishly. Let us not insult one another for no rhyme or reason . . .