The Complete Plays

A DRAMA¹

Дрaмa

CHARACTERS

POPPA DEAR, who has 11 eligible daughters

A YOUNG MAN

COAT-TAILS

YOUNG MAN (enters Poppa Dear’s study after waving his hand in desperation and saying, “The hell with it! you can only die once!”). Ivan Ivanych! Permit me to ask for the hand in marriage of your youngest daughter Varvara!

POPPA DEAR (casting down his eyes and with false modesty). I’d be delighted, but . . . she’s still so young . . . so inexperienced . . . And besides . . . you want to deprive me . . . of my solace . . . (wipes away tears) . . . the support of my old age . . .

YOUNG MAN (quickly). In that case . . . I dare not insist . . . (Bows and starts to go. )

POPPA DEAR (strenuously retaining him by the coat-tails). Hold on! A pleasure! Happy to oblige! My benefactor!

COAT-TAILS (pitifully). Rrrrippp . . .

The Man without a Spleen

NOTES

1 Published in The Cricket (Sverchok) 37 (September 25, 1886), pp. 4–5. Chekhov rewrote it in narrative form in 1887.