The Eye of Shiva

CHAPTER 10

Selena finished her morning workout in the exercise room in her condo, went into the bedroom, dumped her sweats and headed for the shower. Usually the workout and shower helped her relax, but it wasn't working today. She shut off the water, grabbed a thick, Turkish towel, and dried off. She rubbed steam off the bathroom mirror with the towel, stood before the mirror and gave herself a critical look.

Still pretty good, she thought, resting her hand on her hip and turning her head slightly. She touched the scar left by the bullet she'd taken in Mexico and felt a faint memory of pain. There were shadows under her eyes. Were those new lines at the corners? She leaned forward and stretched the skin a bit, trying to see. She hadn't slept well, not after leaving Nick standing in the jewelry store. She was still sorting out why she'd acted on impulse like that.

She'd been on edge that morning, annoyed with Nick and the way he was taking her for granted. Assuming she'd just go along with what he wanted. But that wasn't it. It was deeper, some fundamental doubt the engagement was a good idea in the first place. In hindsight, if she tried to be objective, she could see Nick had meant well and was only trying to surprise her. Somehow her objectivity kept slipping away, lost in a mix of conflicting thoughts and emotions about the whole damned relationship.

Why was she thinking about getting married anyway? She was self-sufficient, able to do whatever she wanted on her own. She had her own money. She didn't even need to work unless she wanted to. She could go anywhere she wanted, do almost anything she wanted to do. She could have her pick of intelligent, handsome and educated men from about any walk of life. So what was so damned attractive about a battered, stubborn man whose principal goal in life seemed to be jumping in where angels feared to tread and whose primary skill was shooting at people and blowing things up?

When Nick asked her to marry him, she'd barely hesitated. Maybe it was the context of a Caribbean night, the moonlight, the afterglow of sex, the warm strength she felt radiate from him as he stood next to her. Maybe it had been the knowledge that the next day meant one or both of them had a good chance of getting killed.

Or maybe you're just a closet romantic, she thought. Moonlight, flowers and guns.

She smiled to herself. Not too many people would put those three things together and think of romance. Nick would. Things like that were why she loved him.

The thought rippled through her. It was true, she really did love him. She wasn't sure that was enough of a reason to marry him. Too much had happened over the last few years.

She walked from the bathroom to the closet and picked out a bra and panties, then a pale lavender silk blouse that went well with her eyes. She added black slacks and low heeled, comfortable black shoes. She dressed, went into the kitchen and made herself a cup of coffee and sat at the counter.

Love. Once before, she'd thought she was in love. His name was Ted. He was rich, educated, and sophisticated. They'd been on vacation in Greece, spending a week on Mykonos. He'd gotten drunk and they'd gone back to their room overlooking the harbor. An argument had started and he'd hit her, hard enough to send her staggering backward. She hadn't even thought about it. She'd decked him and kicked him where it hurt. It hadn't taken long to pack the few things she'd brought with her. She'd walked out and never looked back.

After that there'd never been anyone serious. Not until Nick.

Selena glanced at the clock on the counter. It was time to get going over to Virginia for the morning briefing. She and Nick could go out for coffee together afterward. They needed to talk.